Things I Didn’t Know Because It Was The First Time

27 – Cowards Kneel

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Scarlett opened her mouth as she recalled that day.

“We’re divorced. I can kneel.”

“….”

“I don’t have pride. You know.”

Viktor replied to Scarlett. “I know; you’re a coward.”

“Huh. That’s what I’m saying. I need money. Please be flexible.”

She couldn’t afford to look into his eyes, so she looked at Viktor’s shoes.

She reassured herself that she was not being a coward now. Her will to live was purely strong.

After thinking over and over that life was such, she was able to continue.

“Originally, it wasn’t your father’s fault. I was trying to incite your anger by acting cute. Because you couldn’t see me, I thought you’d say you’re relieved of your anger. But I know the story has changed. That’s all I’m saying.” Scarlett paused.

“Living as your wife is harder than I thought. There’s so much to do.”

Viktor opened the door by turning the doorknob next to him. He then pushed Scarlett inside.

Entering the empty room and closing the door, he bent down and took her face to Scarlett.

At his sudden action, Scarlett retreated behind her.

“What are you doing?” “I’m curious. To what extent do you have no self-esteem?”

“…”

As he came right in front of her, Scarlett stepped back to lean her back against her door, then turned her head to the side.

Viktor’s laughter echoed in his ears.

He grabbed Scarlett’s chin with his hand, turned it towards me, and opened her mouth.

“I have the money, so if you’re going to get down on his knees, shouldn’t you be kneeling in front of me?”

At his words, Scarlett opened her tightly closed eyes and looked up at Viktor.

“Are you going to do that?”

When she asked, Viktor mumbled with a dazed expression on his face.

“Yeah, you had a knack for making me feel dirty.”

Not knowing what Viktor would do, Scarlett involuntarily took a deep breath and pushed him away.

But he did not move. Instead, he grabbed Scarlett’s wrist aimed at the doorknob and pressed it against the door.

“Did you do that last time? You also wanted a divorce, so you signed it right away.”

“…Of course.”

Scarlett panicked a bit and tried to pull her wrist away, but his hand didn’t budge like steel handcuffs.

“Did you hate it so much that I divorced you so easily? Then should I have locked you up like a madman?”

Her ex was weird.

It was the first time she had ever seen Viktor so openly exposed to ferocity.

Scarlett looked at him with fierce eyes, like a beast raising its claws to hide its fear.

“What’s wrong with you? This is not like you.”

“You’re asking. Both you and my father hid this from me as if it were someone else’s business, so what should I have done to satisfy you? What should I do to a woman who gives a divorce paper to a drunken man in the middle of the night and walks away?”

“… “

Scarlett was silent for a while. Then, after a time, she opened her mouth.

“Didn’t you ask because you were drunk? Why else are you asking about the divorce?”

“Because I was not in a rational state.”

“You are always overly rational, but how much more rational do you have to be? You...”

Scarlett tried her best to ask her questions calmly, after which only her quivering breathing could be heard.

When she talked to this man, she always seemed to have gone crazy on her own.

She saw a situation where there should not be any problem and found issues with it.

‘I’m always the only one who gets emotional like this.’

With his usual nonchalant face, Viktor looked at Scarlett as if she was slurring her words. He told her to continue if she thought her sentence was unfinished.

Unlike her, he did not hide any of his feelings. Even though he had a cold expression on his face, Viktor laid all his emotions in plain.

Viktor looked at her as something that existed in the world, yet to be discovered. As if a mysterious creature deep in the trenches of the Mariana.

Why did she laugh? Why did she cry? Why was she angry? Why did she devote herself to saying she loved him, who she did not even know well – from the moment they met? At the same time, she could not understand why she betrayed him or why she left him.

Viktor and many nobles in Salantier – all exerted meaningless behaviour, wanting something more than existing as a nobleman. Being overly rational or excessively sentimental was downplayed.

His world was all connected, and her world was sporadic. In Viktor’s always-perfect gaze, Scarlett sometimes, in fact, almost always seemed insane.

Just then, a knock was heard outside the door, breaking the silence.