Things I Didn’t Know Because It Was The First Time

40 – Lacked In Acting

“...”

Viktor remained silent, his eyes never leaving her figure.

“Now that I think about it, I hated you. At that time,” Scarlett continued, seeing as he hadn’t responded to her apology.

It appeared that all she did as an adult was love.

‘It would have been nice if someone told me when I was young that after loving like a fool, there would be nothing left over.’

‘I wish I had parents or met a friend like Liv sooner or someone like Andrei who would tell me that the process of finding a four-leaf clover for Viktor was ultimately for my happiness. I wish I could tell the eighteen-year-old Scarlett Crimson that a marriage that started without love ends without love.’

But fate had it differently. Perhaps it was destined in her story, for the eighteen-year-old Scarlett Crimson to fall in love. Perhaps she had known years ago and pretended not to hear.

Viktor looked at Scarlett and then opened his mouth.

“Then come back. Don’t live like that,” he said softly.

“...”

Now it was Scarlett who couldn’t find the words to respond.

“You said you were sorry,” Viktor said.

He took a step towards her, closing their distance.

Scarlett took a step back, her gaze broke from his, and found the floor.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t live with you anymore. Because I expected too much from our marriage.”

Her voice was barely audible.

“What did you expect from me?” Viktor asked.

Scarlett spoke, trembling.

“I wanted you to find me even if you didn’t need me. I hope you missed me. I wanted you to... I wanted you to be happy that I loved you and missed you. To me....”

Scarlett smiled bitterly.

“My love was precious to me. It’s the best thing I’ve ever had. At first, it was alright because it was an unrequited love. But increasingly… I became tired of the dissatisfaction that I loved you. I suppose that’s how unrequited love ends.”

Viktor, listening to her, was dumbfounded and laughed.

Scarlett continued, though.

“I didn’t know until I got divorced. I loved you because I wanted to receive love in that way. I wanted to be loved, too. And so, you… You proposed to me, so you were obliged to repay me by acting.”

Viktor, silently listening, replied with a twisted smile.

“Oh, I lacked acting skills.”

His reply was pathetic, and her heart sank.

Scarlett smiled and nodded.

“Yes. Try harder when you remarry.”

Scarlett took a small glass bead out of her bag and held it out to Viktor.

“I was going to give it to you anyway, so, here.”

It was a glass bead containing a four-leaf clover.

Scarlett continued as Viktor looked wordlessly at the object in her hand.

“I didn’t find it for you. I just happened upon it being my pleasure to find a four-leaf clover on your birthday every year. It was like a hobby.”

“...”

“Huh, I don’t seem to remember receiving a four-leaf clover in the first place.…. But I’ll keep it.”

Viktor picked up the glass bead.

Scarlett watched him put it in the drawer and continued.

“Do you have anything to investigate? About the plane.”

She suddenly felt a sense of worry. He was here for that.

“Did you draw the blueprint intending to engineer it?” Viktor asked.

“Well...”

She looked around uncomfortably. She knew the blueprint was grey area, no, it was probably illegal.

“If you exercise your right to remain silent, this will only disadvantage you. Weapons production could be a violation of military law.”

“It’s not a weapon. It’s just a means of transport. And in the first place… Isn’t it strange to suppress all the technology?”

That’s it...

Of course, it was strange.

Viktor, too, had been wondering for a long time. Until now, he was at sea, so he didn’t know how Salantier was doing, but now he knew.

Scarlett continued.

“And the blueprint was just, I remembered it. The one my parents made.”

“You remembered?”

“Yes.”

“Your parents died when you were twelve. How do you remember the blueprints you saw before that?”

“I have a good memory.”

“...”

“Can I go?”

Viktor nodded, thinking it was pointless to continue probing.

“I’ll visit you again soon.”

Scarlett nodded.

After she left the office, the warmth he always felt disappeared, and Viktor took out a cigarette, held it in his mouth, lit it, and took a deep puff.