To Love You Again

"This Linfeng in front of you, who was he to you, young miss?"

It was Xiong Zhi's turned to be stunned.

If it was another time, she could answer without hesitation that Linfeng was the only man in her heart. Her only light and her fuel to live. Her reason for living for a second time.

But she could not get out those words in her mouth in front of those inquiring eyes. They were so serious and watchful that whatever she said would be turn out a lie. Not it was a lie for her but it would be for him.

"Linfeng. The Linfeng in front of me is very special to me. A man I dearly hold in my heart." Xiong Zhi answered back with utmost seriousness. The playfulness and mischief earlier were gone. She was answering truthfully.

Linfeng watched her. He unconsciously clenched his hand. 

His heart was beating wildly.

Is this what he wanted to hear?

Does he really want to hear it?

Yes. He really wanted to hear it. He felt confused about what he was feeling. But he was sure he was moved by this girl who was standing in front of him. 

To him, she may not be only the young miss of Xiong that he needed to take care of and swore his life to.

She was probably more than that.

Linfeng looked down. He was defeated by the burning gaze that he started.

"I see." These words were the only thing he could say.

"Linfeng. "

"Mm?" He was still not looking.

"I'm alright. The medic cleaned my wound. We played dodgeball and I win. It was Xiong Wuyue, my cousin, who I am playing with. But it's not a friendly play. I don't like her and I hate her. She feels the same way. I got scratched because of that. This bandage is from her PA. Do you think it's cute too?" Xiong Zhi answered all the questions and eased the atmosphere a little.

Linfeng finally looked up. He smiled sincerely.

"Yeah. It's cute. But it's not cute that you're hurt because of that. You should be careful. If you want to play dodge ball to her again you have to call a backup, me, count on me. And just don't be the receiving end. She has no right to throw things at you." Linfeng reprimanded Xiong Zhi. He doesn't know the whole story. But based on Xiong Zhi's hint and her character, he guessed of what happened.

"I will take care of her." Linfeng seriously said. Even it was a scratch, it was unforgivable especially it was a Xiong who done it.

"No. I'll take care of it. It's personal. " Xiong Zhi knew what's the best way to irritate and to pushed Xiong Wuyue to madness. She could handle this. Besides, Xiong Wuyue owned her a lot.

Linfeng stared at her. Seeing the resolve in Xiong Zhi's eyes he sighed.

"Alright. You handle it, just this once. But if she hurt you again I will personally act on my own accord. Deal?"

"Deal." Xiong Zhi nodded.

"Let me see." Linfeng went nearer to her and checked her. 

There was no space between them. His black orb eyes continued to inspect every inch of her exposed skin to check any bruises. His eyes were accompanied by his warm breath.

Xiong Zhi could feel goosebumps to where Linfeng's gaze was. Her skin tingled. He was not touching her, but she felt she was being touched by his inspecting gaze.

They were so close. So close that Xiong Zhi could smell his breath and his scent.

After this suffocating inspection, Linfeng almost jumped back to his seat and coughed. He just noticed that when he was inspecting Xiong Zhi, Xiong Zhi's breath quicken and so was her heartbeat.

"Cough. You're alright. Good."

"Cough. Yeah." Xiong Zhi coughed too. She fanned herself. It felt so hot.

She peeked at Linfeng who was red in his ears. This reminds of their past memories. This made Xiong Zhi's cheek who was a bit red, became redder.

"Ahem. So, you are worried about me, this Linfeng, right?" Xiong Zhi continued their topic earlier.

This Linfeng. They both knew who was this Linfeng they were talking about.

"Of course. I am worried. How can I not worry when I'm not there and you will have to face people that you don't want to face?"

Xiong Zhi was stunned.

'People I don't want to face? Is he talking about Gao Huan?'

Xiong Zhi smiled warmly. She was touched.

'So he hurried over here because he's worried I might shiver like before.'

"Well, I'm proud to say that I manage somehow. I just avoided him. But I wish you were there to make the air fresher."

Linfeng laughed a little. He was glad that Xiong Zhi could face Gao Huan without hurting herself.

"Am I an air freshener? Don't worry, next time, I'll attend with you." It might not be next year, it might be five years later or more than that. But Linfeng promised himself he would come here with his own power and meet with her.

"Alright. You have to make it happen. If you don't, I will." Xiong Zhi said teasingly.

Linfeng let out a small laugh . Xiong Zhi really wanted to sponsor him. 

The car arrived at the Xiong Mansion while the two continued their little chat.

****

The moon was bright. It was a serene night.

Xiong Zhi was walking to the pathway towards the East wing. Behind her was Linfeng.

She suddenly stopped and turn around.

"Do you mind if we take a walk?"

"I don't mind. " 

Xiong Zhi took a step back to stand beside Linfeng. He was always behind. Even in her past life. This time she wanted to walk beside him.

Linfeng allowed her and he took a step nearer to Xiong Zhi. It was to give her a little warmth.

The two walk side by side. They were not speaking. They were just basking in comfortable silence. Feeling the night breeze, the moon's light, and enjoying this sweet time they were alone.

They walked like they were the only two people left in their world. It did not matter if they just walked in circles. Or how little and slow they steps were. The time did not matter. 

Their presence, their warmth coming from their shoulder were the only thing that matters for them.

It stayed like that for a long time.

Until Linfeng broke the silence.

"Zhi'er." 

Xiong Zhi turned to him. She was immersed in the peaceful atmosphere that she looked towards him with a small smile. She was also satisfied that he called her by her first name.

"I am quite confused. My mind had been thinking of it all this time. May I ask you some personal questions? Not as a butler, but as me as Linfeng and you as Zhi'er."

Linfeng for the first time let out a distress expression.

Maybe because of their chat earlier that he managed to have courage to ask this question that's bugging him the entire time.

Xiong Zhi faced him completely. She liked it more if they talked without thinking of their current status.

"Yes. You can."

Linfeng stared at her. 

Thinking of the first time they met, and until now. All of the things she had been saying, hinting, and the actions she had done towards him.

"Why do you treat me so differently?"

Linfeng wanted to ask why? What's with him that Xiong Zhi liked so much? What did he do? How could he receive such feelings from an heiress of Xiong?

'No, more, importantly, why she has to keep my mind so confused to the point of making my head hurt?'

When he has first introduced to Xiong Zhi a year ago, he only had one thought.

That was to do his job properly until he broke his chains.

He already set himself to not harbor any emotions towards his young miss besides respect and obedience.

But Xiong Zhi's actions towards him put him in a difficult situation. 

Acting intimate, giving him special attention and care, showing only emotions to him that she did not let anyone to see except him, treating him differently, treating him special, holding him dearly, saying words that made his heart beat quickly, actions and words that made him so confused and lose control of his rational thoughts and emotions. They were so many that Linfeng noticed and took note of all this time.

And because of that, he, who was very proud of his control to everything may it be emotions or superficial things, was totally lost. 

He knew he was in a dire situation. He wanted to ask this question to her every time he was given some privilege that other people can't.

But what's more infuriating was he was happy by having this special privilege. He was being moved.

He knew what to do. He knew his situation. But his heart and feelings were pointing at a different path.

Xiong Zhi could feel his distress.

But she was selfish this time. 

No, she has to be selfish for them. For their future. She had to bring more troubles and confusion to this young Linfeng.

"Because I like you. Not the like between friends. But a 'like' between man and woman. " Xiong Zhi answered truthfully.

If she could, she might have say the word 'love' instead. But it was still too early for the young and confuse Linfeng.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

Linfeng gulped. His heart was beating wildly.

He stared at the girl who said she liked him. A 'like' between a man and a woman.

An attraction a person felt towards the opposite gender.

Thump.

Thump.

The more he defined 'like', the more it got clear to him what Xiong Zhi truly felt.

He was happy. For a moment.

He was stunned even though he guessed the answer.

But he hoped he was wrong. That she would say it was a 'like' between friends or the 'like' for being the very first person who was close to her age. The feelings of being the first comrade.

But she said she 'like' him.

Linfeng held his head. He clutched his hair, making it more disheveled.

"Hah." 

Why did he even ask? To make himself more confused? To make him more frustrated? A butler and the heiress. A romance between them? Laughable. Their romance was bound to be tragic.

"I-" Xiong Zhi suddenly held Linfeng's hand who was gripping his hair.

"I don't need your answer now." Her calm and gentle voice reached his ears. She used her hands to unclenched Linfeng's hand. She hold his hands dearly and gently.

Xiong Zhi's eyes were worried seeing Linfeng so frustrated because of her confession. She understands him. She understands where the frustration coming from. 

"No. I don't need any answers. I just want you to stay by my side. If you can't-" Xiong Zhi looked deeply into his eyes. She remembered a certain past. Their fate. The future that would come. If that happened again...

"If you can't, I will still stick myself to you." 

'Like how you stick yourself to me.'

"I will chase after you. "

'Like how you chase and look for me for three years without any sleep.'

"And if you find a girl to your liking, "

- a scene that Xiong Zhi doesn't want to see.

"I will seduce you." 

'I will no longer hold back.'

Xiong Zhi's eyes were so serious. She meant it.

"Then that is the time I will ask you for your answer."