To Love You Again

It was raining heavily, like bullets falling on roofs unceasingly, accompanied by loud thunders. It was supposed to be good afternoon as there were no signs of rain earlier morning. The sudden outpour of rain and flashes of lightning were out of people's expectations.

The sky was covered with heavy clouds, shrouding the land in darkness and rain.

In the ancestral cemetery of the once famed legendary Lu family, a man in a black suit stood lonesome in front of a tombstone. Even with the ferocious winds and loud thunders surrounding him, he stood there unfazed. 

Only his pale shaking lips and trembling fingers revealed that the man was frozen cold. 

However, it was not just because of the chilly pouring rain that drenched him from head to toe, soaked to the skin.

It was because he, who had never exposed his inner feelings in front of anyone before, finally showed the grief and anguish that he had kept bottled up for so many years.

One would wonder if he was crying by the slight tremble of his shoulders, or perhaps it was just the impact of the heavy rain buffeting his body. Rain drops rolled down from his pitch dark hair, to his slender yet dense brows, rolling down his long lashes, to his pale cheeks, and to his sculpted chin.

The man stood there unmoving for a long time. Finally, amidst the overwhelming sounds of rain and thunder, his pale lips moved.

"Yin Ze..."

The hoarse whisper was immediately swallowed by the rumbling thunder.

The man's eyes were blurry. But he tried to read the name on the tomb over and over again.

His little brother, with innocent large eyes like the purest water, his cheeks ruddy and pink. He was like a tiny little doll and a bundle of joy, who admired him so much when they were still young, following him like a tail everywhere.

Before everything started.

How long has it been since he uttered his brother's name?

It's been years...so many tiring years.

He did not mourn his death, nor visited his grave before. He was ashamed to face him. He was ashamed to face his mother, his little brother, and even his grandfather.

Yes...they all left him.

No, to be precise, he drove them away.

Why?

He knew he would regret it. So why did he do it?

Was it because he was so afraid that the devil would hurt him? Or hurt the only people he loved? 

But they still died. Why did he not fight, obediently followed, and watched as they were all destroyed?

These people...were all innocent.

The wet lashes covering his lowered his eyes flickered.

He knew the answer deep inside his heart.

'Coward.'

Because he was a coward. He was afraid, fearful of going against the devil, and becoming the next prey. So like a puppet doll, he numbly moved according to the devil's wishes.

Now that everything was in the devil's hands, and the conspiracies and schemes gave to such a result, he should be happy. All of the people in the high society wanted to fawn over them. No one dared to go against them. They could call for the wind and rain, and control the lives of countless people. They are the only great major power that appeared after the destruction and fall of the three legendary families.

There were no more legendary Guans, Xiongs, and Lus. The Tangs were just barely holding onto their name. Soon, they will also reach their demise.

Only remnants of these families remained, but they all no longer deserved to be called legendary families.

Only the once forgotten family that was raised back to its splendor was deserving of the title, 'legendary'.

Lightning flashed, illuminating the graveyard for split second, before it was drowned back into darkness.

It was all the designs and plots of that devil. A conspiracy that had been planned long before he was born. He himself was born for this grand scheme. It was the purpose of his existence, according to the devil whispering constantly in his ears since he was little.

So he should be happy, because he had done his purpose excellently. But no matter how much he watched the entire world fawn over him, he could not bring himself be happy.

Because no one was left beside him, only his prestige, reputation, wealth, and endless emptiness.

Even his sanity and peace of mind was fading.

Perhaps, it disappeared long ago, when his little brother died. 

Ha.

A hoarse sound escaped his lips.

Yes, that was right. He had long died when he pushed his brother to his end, and his soul left him when he poisoned his own grandfather.

He was an unforgivable sinner.

The man knew of his sins. And there was no backing down from it all.

He was shoved into the depths of hell. Since he could not back out, he accompanied the devil in hell. He even dragged in his friend.

And now, his friend had turned into a monster as well, following the devil's footsteps. 

It was his fault.

The chill enveloped his bones, his teeth clattering. His ears were numbed by the deafening rain.

'Coward...' 

It was all in the past. All of it had happened already. What was the use of regret?

For a long time, he lived like a wandering soul. He lived without any specific goal, like a marionette.

Then he found his own footsteps leading him to this place.

He stared at the silent gravestone in front of him.

He...wanted to disappear.

Since he had fulfilled his 'purpose', maybe he could finally rest? 

His face was blank, his eyes empty, but tears rolled down along with the drops of rain.

He knew that he was just fooling himself, trying to escape from his conscience. Because even after his death, this burden and the deaths of the people they stepped on would haunt him forever, torturing him in the eighteenth layer of hell.

He had betrayed the Lu ancestors, and his family. How they hated him.

The darkness in the burial ground writhed and enveloped him, as if pulling him down to their depths.

"Do you regret it?" A soft voice of a woman suddenly reached his ears.