To Love You Again

The man was confused. But one thing was certain, all Jang Shin just wanted right now was to make Tang Xinyang feel better, and steer her far away from the debauched playboy. 

But how?

Tang Xinyang's outburst frightened him. Jang Shin felt restless, as if there was something he had to do, but he did not know exactly what and how to start. 

At loss, he silently followed in remorse.

"I said, go away. If you don't want to get beaten up right now by an ugly woman, then roll," Tang Xinyang said coldly with her back on him.

Jang Shin hurried to explain honestly. "I did not mean to call you ugly. I promise, not at all! That's not the point of what I am trying to say earlier."

Tang Xinyang did not speak.

"All I mean to say is... Don't be so naive in front of William. That man is a famous Casanova. He will do everything to make a woman he fancy fall for him. I am afraid that he will also victimize you--"

Tang Xinyang no longer wanted to listen, turned around, and stared coldly at Jang Shin. "So that's how low and easy you think of me? Am I that easy to be pressed down?"

Jang Shin shook his head violently. "Of course not! Far from it! I am just warning you, but you keep smiling like a fool at him--" His jealousy leaked out, but they both did not realize it.

"Am I not allowed to smile? A respected senior told me that I look beautiful, is it so bad to feel happy with his praise?"

Jang Shin: "..."

"Tell me, Shin. Have I ever received any praise from you? Or even received a look of a man to a woman?"

"What are you..."

"Jang Shin! You try to recall everything you just said to me earlier!"

Jang Shin fell silent. His narrow peach brown eyes hid something within.

"You called me ugly, a shemale, a woman not cut out for a man... Am I really like that in your eyes?" 

Tang Xinyang's vision turned blurry. Her nose felt sour.

Jang Shin panicked again, seeing her eyes well up with glistening tears. His heart felt painfully pricked by something. 

"Of course not, not at all, I was... Stupid! Impulsive! You are not... really ugly..." 

Jang Shin scratched his head in frustration.

How had Xinyang appear in his eyes? 

He felt bitter as he remembered his memories of her for long years since childhood.

"You are strong! Undefeatable. Full of pranks..." 

Jang Shin had suffered countless of times under her hands and even received trauma from her over the years. A mere movement from her would automatically bring Jang Shin's motor nerves in a prepared combat stage, apprehensive of a whimsical punch or kick.

He closed his eyes tightly, ashamed.

But this very woman was also, sometimes...

Extremely...

"...Alluring... Sensitive... Warm... And..." 

Tang Xinyang's different versions of herself appeared in Jang Shin's mind. Her pranks, her sheepish smile whenever she called and waved at him, her bright eyes when she looked at him. 

As if her eyes seemed to only contain him.

It was frightening, yet exhilarating.

All of it came to his mind. 

"...And lovely."

Silence.

The silence stretched for a long time until Jang Shin felt like burying himself into a hole. He harshly opened his eyes and looked at the woman.

Tang Xinyang stood in front of him with stunned wide eyes, rooted on the spot. 

The twist on top of her head had loosened a bit, and a few locks of hair had softly fallen on both sides of her face. 

Really lovely...

Seeing him look back at her, Tang Xinyang blinked and tried to clear her ears. Did he just say...?

Jang Shin looked straight at her. "I really did not mean it when I said you are ugly. I... I just thought that William might stop hitting on you, but now that I think about it, it's really very naive of me. I'm sorry."

"Then why did you say all of that? Don't you know how hurtful it felt to me?" 

Tang Xinyang's voice brought out an aggrieved tone.

Jang Shin took a cautious step forward.

"I don't know myself too. I just found you annoying..."

Tang Yin: "..." 

She suddenly wanted to beat him up.

Jang Shin hurried to add, "To be precise, I find it annoying when you smiled and looked at William with admiration. You just met him, yet you act like you two are already close friends. Who goes around like that? And that man is clearly hitting on you, obviously flirting with you, yet you return his praise and smile. You are practically agreeing with his advances and flirting back with him!" 

Jang Shin's voice also became aggrieved.

He could not really move on about William flirting with Tang Xinyang. This was the most irritating point he found.

Tang Xinyang blinked dazedly and labored to process in her mind what she just heard from Jang Shin.

"You are... angry because I am talking to William?"

"Yes!"

"..."

Hold on.

This... Tang Xinyang had learned about this in Song Xuantin's lecture notes!

"Aren't you... basically just jealous?" Tang Xinyang tentatively asked Jang Shin.

Jang Shin: "..."

A short silence. 

Then the man suddenly jumped.

"What?!!! Eh?!! Why, why am I... Why would I be jealous!" Jang Shin said his whole face suspiciously red. He defensively shook his head non-stop. "No way! I will not be! I'll be crazy if I am jealous!" He fanned himself and waved his arms in denial.

Tang Xinyang: [email protected]#$&%!

This bastard.

You don't have to deny it like your life depended on it, bastard!

But Tang Xinyang did not take Jang Shin's denial.

"If you are not jealous, then why are you angry that I am flirting with another man, then?'

"I am not! I am just concerned that you will easily get fooled!"

"It already came out from your mouth than I am not easily pressed down. In all these years, I had never been intimate with other men, except you."

"...!!!"

When did we become intimate!

Jang Shin was fl.u.s.tered. "Why are we talking about this? Where did you even get that idea? Let's just return okay." He hastily turned around as if escaping.

Tang Xinyang looked at his fidgeting back complicatedly.

A sigh escaped her lips.

Tang Xinyang did not know what to feel at this moment. She was happy, yet sad, disappointed... and annoyed.

"Go back by yourself. I am still angry at you. I haven't forgiven you yet." She turned around to the opposite direction of the hall and walked away.

Jang Shin halted on his steps and turned his head back. 

He watched her walk away from him. 

His narrow brown eyes stayed on her tall back for a long while. Fleeting flashes of emotions glimmered in Jang Shin's eyes as many thoughts came to his mind.

His right foot stepped forward planning to chase after her again, but then Jang Shin stopped.

He just watched on helplessly until Tang Xinyang disappeared at the corner.

When she was truly gone, Jang Shin slumped down and frustratedly covered his face with his hands. 

Arrgghhh...!

After a while, he calmed down.

In the spaces between his fingers, his darkened brown eyes were conflicted.

"I am not Linfeng... I am sorry, Xinyang..."