To My Sunflower

Hinata's life took a busy turn with the makeshift family that came into his management. As busy as it made him running around the house on a lice eradication challenge, it brought a smile to his face. He hoped the fullness of his home wouldn't leave him as suddenly.

Kei and Rei recovered consciousness the next day. Their injuries had led them into a fever, so Aiyama-san tended to their health around the clock, leaving Hinata free to manage the business.

Today, being a Wednesday, was the first alone time Hinata had received in a while. It left him sighing with disinterest at the hems he was sewing on his Singer sewing machine. His sigh deepened when he recalled Eiji's nickname for the black machine as the Little Anvil with the hammering needle churning out killer outfits rather than killer swords.

Certainly there was nothing glamorous about material off-cuts littering the compact storeroom floor nor sitting in a tight space before a machine fixed to an ingenious specially made burnished wood table, which released bits of fluff every time he pumped the wrought iron pedal to make the arm of the needle (loaded with thread) move up and down.

It was another expensive purchase by his late uncle that saw to the family fortune go down the chute. If it wasn't for his father's successful tailor business in Tokyo and customer referrals, Hinata felt his late uncle's business wouldn't have been around for him to inherit. Both men were keen to ensure the long time family business in the country stayed in the family. It was the reason his father had worked in a famous atelier house before starting his own shop.

A memory of many handsome men visiting his house when his father was around, and mother wasn't, made him frown with wonder. Certainly his parents were on good terms with each other. In fact, they were best friends, yet he always felt there was a distance between them. It made him wonder if they were truly in love when they were married or if it was a mutual arrangement, so they could live the life they wanted without the scrutiny of nosy people. His mother was no stranger to men either. When she gave birth to his younger twin brother and sister, his father welcomed them into the family like they were his own. Hinata had suspected otherwise for various reasons.

He cursed his awful thoughts and flicked over to happier, innocent memories with his parents as his foot moved rhythmically in time with his hands that skilfully pushed material under the needle.

A lazy smile graced his face when he thought about the time he was six, dressed in summery yukata's and watching the dazzling colours of fireworks as he held their hands. Innocent times.

"So, you've inherited more children I've heard from Tanaka." Akira's deep voice, coolly broke through Hinata's memory trip and momentum of his sewing.

"I like it. It's nice having the noise around the house." Hinata replied coyly.

He yelped when Akira yanked him from off the sewing stool, so he was in the man's arms.

"I had you all to myself and now these strangers come along and live in your house. I hate it!" Akira complained and pressed his lips to Hinata's.

"Honda-san!" Hinata opened his mouth to complain and received a passionate kiss from Akira instead.

Hinata's body relaxed as he welcomed the man's passion for him. It had been a long time since he kissed, he couldn't resist Akira's advances. Deep down, he felt his devotion for Eiji's memory was being overridden with the reality of being alone. Akira was right in front of him, kissing him, and he didn't mind it at all.

Their kisses became necking and passionate undressing.

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"I love you Hinata," Akira whispered in his ear over and over as he nibbled Hinata's lobes and sucked at his neck.

Hinata felt compelled to say the same thing, but he didn't. Instead, he allowed Akira to have more of him, relishing the loving and passionate touches from another man.

Memories of the first time making love with Eiji surfaced to Hinata's mind in the thralls of his lovemaking with Akira. The memory made him cry when climaxing and his head a confused mess. His heart pounded rapidly, but with guilt and a feeling he had just dirtied his memories with his late lover. He wanted to believe that Eiji was alive, but a lot of time had passed. Those adamant feelings of his return had faded.

"Don't think of him when you're with me." Akira warned Hinata out of the blue when they were redressing.

It made Hinata pause from re-wrapping his obi. He closed his eyes and cursed that Akira had seen right through him.

Tears slipped down his cheeks when he felt Akira's arms around his waist, pulling him into a tender, loving hug.

"I understand that your heart will always hold a place for Takaki-san. Can you also hold a place in there for me just as much?" Akira whispered. Desperate words again.

"What are you saying Honda-san?! Did you think I slept with you because I was lonely?!" Hinata blurted and bit back his words.

The truth hurt. Hinata hated himself, realising the injustice he had caused to Akira. There was no going back now.

"Honestly, I'm confused. I will never stop loving Eiji-san." He turned around to face Akira, whose usual cool composure was replaced with a rare sight of tears and eyes filled with desperation. "I love you too. I always did. It's just that..."

Akira sighed. "I know. Your devotion to Takaki-san is admirable, but it's not good to remain in the past. I've told you before and I'll tell you again, I'm here for you now."

Hinata responded with a weak smile. He carefully removed Akira's glasses and moved in closer to kiss him.

A short while later they resumed their respectable images as bookshop owner and clothing shop clerk, just in time to attend to the visitors who entered their shop.