Ch82 - Letting Go

Gu Qingchi was currently knitting. He didn’t even know what it was he was knitting. He just liked to knit. The part that had already been knitted was rather strange in shape. There was a large and fluffy ball of yarn on the floor next to the sofa. It rolled back and forth in time with his movements.

The cat stretched out its paw and grabbed it. Then, it let go as soon as the ball moved. It seemed as though it wanted to touch it but was too afraid to. 

On the day they’d gone to the movies, there had been an event at the shopping mall. The event mascot stopped them and gave them a raffle ticket. After redeeming the ticket, they found that the prize was a few balls of yarn and knitting needles.

Xie Luyu had wanted to use the yarn to knit a scarf for Gu Qingchi. Gu Qingchi thought it seemed interesting, so he started knitting as well. At first, it was just for fun. However, after a while, he started knitting whenever he was free. He didn’t worry about getting the stitches right or anything like that. Wherever the stitches landed was where they stayed.

If they had free time, the two of them would sit on the sofa and knit together.

After knitting for a while, they would compare their progress. 

Gu Qingchi’s knitting was quick, casual, and crude. Every now and then, a hole would pop up in the yarn.

Xie Luyu spoke very cautiously.

“In terms of area, you’ve definitely won.”

The two of them looked at each other. Then, they started laughing, so much so that they ended up toppling over on the sofa.

After laughing, Xie Luyu turned his head to look at Gu Qingchi. Sunshine spilled down on him, carving out a silhouette of his side profile. Gu Qingchi had always been indifferent to the outside world. Even if he was smiling, it didn’t mean anything had changed. No matter what he was feeling, he was always the same. It was as if an undercurrent was surging at the bottom of the ocean, but the surface was still calm.

It was the first time Xie Luyu had met someone like Gu Qingchi. He cried quietly and laughed quietly. Everything was silent. However, if you truly tried to get to know him, you would find that he’d simply lived on his own for too long. He’d lost the ability to laugh and cry.

Xie Luyu suddenly asked.

“How are you feeling today?” 

Dr. Jiang needed to know about how Gu Qingchi was doing. At the beginning, Gu Qingchi had regularly reported to him. After a while, however, he got lazy and didn’t feel like talking too much. Thus, Xie Luyu took it upon himself to ask about how he was feeling each day.

In this way, Gu Qingchi wouldn’t have to report to the doctor every day. Gu Qingchi was also willing to answer.

All of his answers were his true feelings. If he was feeling good, he’d say he was feeling good. If he was feeling bad, he’d say he was feeling bad. At that time, he hadn’t had the energy to hide it. Simply making sure to eat, sleep, and survive would exhaust all of his energy.

Gu Qingchi responded very quickly today, just like he did yesterday. 

“Very good.”

Gu Qingchi really did feel very good these past couple of days. He no longer had a feeling of eating well, sleeping well, doing everything he could to live well yet still finding that happiness had evaded him.

It seemed that there would always be times in which you feel down for no reason, but, once it had passed, everything would start to brighten up again.

Gu Qingchi had things to do each day, like knitting or watering the holiday cactus he bought a few days ago. 

He had also bought a cabinet recently. It wasn’t from an expensive name brand. Rather, he’d gotten it from a small workshop nearby. It was so small that there was no brand and there was no delivery service. The carpenter made the furniture himself. However much he made was however much he’d sell. Gu Qingchi brought the cabinet back home. He assembled it himself. Then, he placed it on the first floor and used it for his orchids and his ever increasing collection of trinkets.

He also bought a cheap car with a large trunk. He had used almost all of his remaining savings on this car, but, now, he could go wherever he wanted whenever he wanted. Occasionally, he would go out and buy himself some milk tea, the kind with lots of sugar and pearls. After that, he would happily enjoy his trip outside.

He also learned to cook. Xie Luyu personally taught him how to use potatoes, green beans, and rice to make a small dinner for one person.

He learned to store his clothes away according to the seasons. He learned to buy new clothes for himself when it got cold. 

He was still very clumsy at a lot of things.

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He was an outstanding person, but, no matter which world he was in, he was nothing more than a student who had yet to graduate from college. He was an adult, but he still hadn’t gotten used to living alone. 

His elders hadn’t had the chance to teach him everything he needed to know, and Gu Qingchi himself had always felt like there was plenty of time.

Therefore, when he suddenly found himself all on his own, he was at an incredible loss. He didn’t know how to do anything, and he didn’t want to learn. He wanted to try and live a good life, but he still couldn’t let go of the past.

Thus, Xie Luyu filled this role. He personally taught Gu Qingchi how to live comfortably, how to live happily, and how to make friends. He opened up an entirely new way of life to him.

Gu Qingchi said that he wanted to live a good life, but he’d been carrying such a heavy past with him. He felt as if he were sinking into a quagmire. It was difficult to move even a single finger. However, Xie Luyu gave him a push. 

After carrying it along with him for such a long time, he finally let go of this heavy burden. He decided to stop drifting along the tides and to take root instead.

One day, Gu Qingchi suddenly spoke to Xie Luyu.

“I want to buy a house. My own house.”

Xie Luyu stopped what he was doing. 

“What kind of house do you want to buy? I have a friend who does real estate. I can get you insider prices.”

Gu Qingchi didn’t refuse right away like he would have before. Instead, he smiled and said thank you.

At that moment, Xie Luyu knew. Gu Qingchi didn’t need anyone anymore.

He slowly started talking about his dream house. Since he would be living alone, it didn’t need to be too big. Since the cat needed to bask in the sun, it needed to have south-facing windows. Since he wanted to do his job well, he wanted a house near the company. 

As he was talking, he suddenly stopped. He looked at Xie Luyu. Then, he spoke with a smile.

“Thank you.”

Once that small smile disappeared, he softly continued.

“Also … I’m sorry.” 

Xie Luyu clenched his hands, which were resting upon his knees, and then tried to unclench. He should be the one saying these words.

Gu Qingchi walked up to him and handed him a warm glass of milk.

Xie Luyu had originally been trimming the leaves of the kōwhai tree. He took off his gloves and accepted it.

Gu Qingchi whispered. 

“We’re even now.”

From this point forward, you are no longer my shadow.

Xie Luyu’s heart felt inexplicably empty. It was as if he had unknowingly lost something very precious.

⁂ 

Gu Qingchi moved closer to the company. His new house met all of his requirements perfectly. Gu Qingchi had picked out himself. Out of all the houses there were to choose from, this was the one he had fallen in love with.

It wasn’t very big, but it had everything it needed. It even had a small garage.

There were two floors. The first floor had a living room. The second floor only had three rooms: a master bedroom, a study room, and a cloakroom. It didn’t even have a guest room. It was a small house for a single person. Since it wasn’t very big, the living room did appear a little crowded, but Gu Qingchi liked it very much.

The house was already decorated, and it was very warm in style. It was also very convenient going to and from the company. The only issue was that it was a little expensive. 

Gu Qingchi had originally wanted to borrow some money from Ye Li for the down payment, but, once he was in front of Ye Li, he ended up spilling everything. To be honest, Ye Li felt that the security of the house was good, but the rest of the house was kind of lacking.

However, it was rare for Gu Qingchi to want something. In the end, Ye Li bought the house for him. He even handled all the paperwork while he was at it.

According to Ye Li, it was better to owe the money to him rather than to a bank. It was incredibly troublesome getting a loan from the bank. Gu Qingchi thought about it for a bit and agreed.

“Why did you suddenly ask for more work a couple days ago? I have a few jobs on hand. Are you interested?” 

Gu Qingchi smiled and nodded.

Ye Li had asked Gu Qingchi before about whether he was in need of more work. Gu Qingchi had refused. At that time, he’d still had his earnings from the movies he’d filmed, so he wasn’t lacking for anything.

Ye Li spun the pen in his hands. Gu Qingchi should be laying low for the time being. The public had yet to forget about the matter regarding his divorce.

It was going to be a little difficult if he wanted to pick up a new role. Ye Li didn’t want to settle for less. However, unless they settled for television dramas, Gu Qingchi probably wouldn’t be able to receive scripts of the same quality as before. Most famous directors didn’t like working with actors that were too controversial. They were able to bring in audiences all on their own. There wasn’t any need for them to get involved in this kind of negative press. 

However, if all he wanted to do was make money, that would make things much simpler. Ye Li had a thousand different ways of getting that done.

⁂

“Hey, Dr. Jiang. Do you think you’d be able to pay more attention to Gu Qingchi? Don’t forget to—”

The person on the other side of the phone gently interrupted Xie Luyu. 

“Sigh, I know, I know. You’ve said this several times already. I’ll make a house visit once every fifteen days, and I’ll give him a call once every five days.”

“In that case, I’ll hang up now. If there’s any issues, just give me a call.”

Xie Luyu then hung up the phone. When he turned around, he was met with the sight of Pan Xiaocheng, who had gotten chubbier since his marriage.

Xie Luyu clicked his tongue. 

“Don’t look at me. It’s already been several days. Have those comments been deleted yet? Have those gossip accounts been locked?”

“They’ve long since been dealt with. Don’t you trust me?”

Pan Xiaocheng might be useless in other aspects, but he was still pretty reliable when it came to his work.

“Keep at it. Also, why are there still so many posts about it online? As soon as you search for it, they all come up. What kind of crap is this?” 

Xie Luyu had been very busy recently. After kicking up a huge uproar online, he left everything to Pan Xiaocheng and ran off to find Gu Qingchi.

Originally, he’d been full of confusion and shock. However, before he could do anything, before he could say anything, he somehow ended up taking in a shivering cat from the cold.

Then, he started raising cats, growing flowers, and knitting scarves.

Now, that shivering little cat had its own little fireplace and a house stuffed full of food. 

Xie Luyu finally had the time to pay attention to other matters. Now, he needed to keep an eye on Gu Qingchi, as well as Gu Qingchi’s family.

There was also the issue of those comments online.

Pan Xiaocheng and Ye Li had actually done a pretty good job of dealing with this matter. They applied just enough pressure, and the timing was just right. There wasn’t any backlash either. The matter was quietly buried. The hashtags didn’t even stick around for that long.

By now, Gu Qingchi’s Weibo account had calmed down entirely. 

However, it was still pretty easy to find a couple of disparaging posts with a simple online search. Xie Luyu wanted to put down some money and get rid of all of them. To be honest, the issue had already passed. It didn’t really matter if he went out of his way to delete them or not. However, Xie Luyu was more than happy to spend this money, and no one was really able to stop him.

Pan Xiaocheng muttered in response.

“I got it. I’ll take care of it. However, you can’t get rid of everything. If you get rid of everything, it’ll be too obvious, but it should be okay to get rid of the comments that go too far.”

“In that case, just get rid of as much as you can.” 

Xie Luyu turned on his phone and checked on Gu Qingchi’s Weibo out of habit. Occasionally, there would be a few negative comments, which he immediately shot down.

As soon as he opened up the app, he found that Gu Qingchi had posted a new Weibo. It was a repost.

[Nirvana. Silva.]

It was accompanied by stills from the movie. 

In the first one, the male and female lead were at the front, wearing ballroom dance attire. It was extremely elegant. However, the most eye-catching part of the still was the dark-haired boy behind them.

His eyes were bright. He was so beautiful that even the sky seemed to clear up.

The second photo was a single-person shot of Gu Qingchi. It had been taken straight from the movie. Slater felt that it was simply too beautiful, so he took it out and made it into a still photo.

Off in the distance was a church. A group of white pigeons were taking off into flight. 

The sun was shining down upon the streets of this small town. The person in the photo was dressed casually and comfortably, his hair falling before his forehead. He held a baguette in his arms and a white rose in his hands.

However, the person himself was even more eye-catching than the rose he was holding.

Comments quickly started piling up. After the incident regarding his divorce, anyone that was still paying attention to him was sure to be either a loyal fan or a dead set face-con.

[Ahhh! Chi Chi’s here! Is the movie about to be released? I need to make preparations!] 

[It’s been so hard. I almost thought he retired.]

[Can you celebrity chasers please stay away from him? Chi Chi is an actor. He just wants to act with peace of mind.]

[Hmmmm, fine. Even if you’ve been married, you’re divorced now, right? I’m okay with it!]

[If you’re okay with it, then I’m okay with it as well.] 

Occasionally, there would still be a few antagonistic remarks, but they were quickly buried. However, Ye Li knew that, once news about the movie started to pick up steam, they would be in for an uphill battle.

Translator’s Note:

Here’s the second bonus chapter! Our Chi Chi is getting better.