Trapped In Hisstory

William stared at the Crown Prince after hearing his words that were full of confidence. Even he himself, who was about to lose hope for the feelings he has for the princess would not be able to say such words that they will be together.

Although he agrees with what the Crown Prince said that no one can tell you not to fall in love, for a servant to be with the princess that would be a talk of the town, or rather the entire kingdom.

How could he be with a princess who everyone loves, a royal, someone who has everything she needs. "If I...continue on with these feelings and try to pursue her. I would be happy, but that would make me selfish!" William exclaimed and the shy butler disappeared and was replaced by a man in despair.

"Do you not want to be together with Milla?" Chance asked.

"...I do." William answered and smiled bitterly, "But I do not want it to happen." he added which left the Crown Prince in confusion.

"Why not?" Chance asked. 

'He wants to be with the princess but he does not wish to be together? This is the first time I heard someone say that.' he thought. 'Well it is not like I have other people to talk to. What a lonely life.'

"Being with me does not guarantee her happiness. The two of us may be happy at first, but Her Highness would be the one to suffer in the end."

"She will soon be the topic of the ladies and their attitude towards her will change. Everything that she could easily have, could disappear in an instant because of me." William said, meaning every word that comes out of his mouth. "I am not selfish enough to only think about my happiness."

"Have you made up your mind?" Chance asked, making sure of his decision, "That you will not be with her?" 

William bit his lip and clenched his fists, and was about to nod but the Crown Prince held his chin and made William look at him, "Do not nod your head and listen to what I will say before you make up your mind."

"As someone loyal to the princess, you might live as her butler until the day you die."

"You will be with Princess Carmilla until you are old, you will live your life watching her grow into a fine lady, marry another man whom she might or might not have feelings for." Chance noticed the butler flinch at the thought of the princess marrying another man but he did not say anything.

"Are you sure it would be all right for you as you look at her from afar, with her husband and her future children, seeing that it is not you by her side? Regretting that you never told her about how you feel?" Chance said, trying to get every word into his head. 

Chance's mood started to drop as well, as he felt his situation, "Regret…" he said and his hand that was on William's chin dropped to his shoulder, "is the worst feeling that you will carry until grave."

Chance's heart tightened as he remembered the prostitutes that the King ordered to be executed and those guards back at the Canopus Kingdom. Although these two have different situations, they all carry the word 'Regret'.

~~~~~

Death.

One word that brings fear to all people. Some may not be scared of death, but once they find and realize what they want in life, they cling to the last hope they have, a finger hanging on a cliff. A finger that holds on for a bit of time, before it gives up and falls to its doom.

There are many reasons why people are afraid to die;

Some do not want to leave their families behind. Some do not want to die because there are still many things they have yet to do. Some are scared of the pain, and the unknown that comes after death.

Different reasons, yet all points to fear. Different reasons yet lead to one word.

Regret. 

They were tempted by the offer of the enemies to give them a hundred suns if they opened the Venus Wing. A hundred suns would surely cause their family joy. But those hundred suns caused them...execution.

We all make mistakes. It could be our choice to make our own decision, but there will be a point where we realize that we should never have done it. Temptation should not be an excuse for the mistakes we have made. We let ourselves be tempted, therefore we are at fault.

We cannot do anything that would undo what has been done. All we could do is to ask for forgiveness, hoping that we get mercy. Once we did not get it, then there came regret.

A mind full of regrets because of the mistake they have made. A decision that they know is wrong yet still did it, at what cost? Their lives.

Begging will not be able to help them anymore. It is a decree from the ruler of their kingdom. The kingdom they betrayed.

~~~~~

The same goes for the servant in front of him, if one day he comes to regret the decision of not being with the one he loves, he will always have the person in his mind, torturing himself because of his decision.

Hurting himself with the image of the woman so close to him yet someone he would never reach. But it would be a sacrifice of his happiness for the woman he loves to be happy and not suffering.

"The worst feeling...that you will carry until the last day of your life. Even in the next life." Chance whispered, "Are you sure you will be able to handle the pain?"

William trembled as he held back his tears, "I am trying hard as well, it is not like this is something that I want. This is something I decided to ensure that she will have a good life." he exclaimed but not loud for others to hear.

"What is your definition of a good life? To be surrounded with wealth and attention?" Chance snapped. "A good life is when you two will be happy together with enough food and things. It is not like you will live in poverty, why are you so afraid?"

"You have not even asked my sister what it was that she wanted, and you have not even tried to tell her your feelings!" he said, "Come up with a decision after you heard her answer."

"Deciding something without her even knowing anything is already a shortcut to the path of regrets, you idiot."

William fell silent and lowered his gaze, thinking of his words very deeply. It was as if something in his mind opened, and he felt stupid for concealing everything without even thinking it through. Maybe he was just swallowed by the fear that everything would change once he confessed to the princess. But he realized he was wrong.

He felt the Crown Prince's hand on his shoulder and he glanced at the Crown Prince, meeting Chance's serious gaze, "Do not forget that I am the Crown Prince." Chance said, "I will soon be the one seated on the throne."

"I will not let my sister live a poor life, so rest assured. I will support the two of you, no matter what it takes." he whispered and walked away, leaving William in the corner in a daze.

Chance went to where the three knights and Caliber were. The three of them bowed to him again and Chance just nodded as a greeting. He felt something different between the aides but he has too many thoughts inside his head to think about another topic.

Caliber held his hand, "What did you talk about with the princess's servant?" he asked.

Chance shook his head apologetically, "I am afraid that I cannot tell you." he said, "I promised him."

"I see, so it was so serious that you two had to make a promise?" Caliber smirked, but Chance knew that he was a bit annoyed.

"I do not want to talk about it. Our conversation contains his secrets." Chance said, still not saying anything.

"You even held his face. You touched his skin." Caliber sulked and Chance almost laughed, so that explains why he was feeling weird earlier, Caliber was staring at them like he was about to drill a hole in them.

"You were glaring as I touched him, huh?" Chance teased and Caliber surprisingly did not deny it and nodded. Chance held Caliber's hand tighter, "As for touching skin, you know very well how different I am when it comes to you."

Caliber smiled, knowing what he meant, could not keep his upset act and kissed the back of his hand. Chance pinched him using his other hand, "Hey, the others are here." Chance whispered, getting shy.

Caliber just smiled and ignored his words.

Chance cannot help but smile as he looks at the Canopus Prince. He lowered his head as he thought of the words he told William. 'Regret…' he thought.

'I hope a day where I do something I will regret will not come.' he said inside his mind. 'But such a thing is inevitable in the last king's history.'