Traveling through the game world, starting out as a third-rate villain
Chapter 39: Memories of Sylvie
"You need to get a grip on yourself."
'I'm trying.'
"That level of fear not only puts you in danger, it puts your future teammates in danger. If you can't control your emotions in combat, you're a liability, and that's dangerous."
'I know. I know it's dangerous, I know I'd be a liability, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid I can't do it.'
"You're acting badly right now."
'What do you know? What do you know about me? Do you think change is easy?'
"If you continue like this, you will only fail. In a real battle, there is no time for you to hesitate or be afraid. If you can't bear this situation, then you are not suitable to be here at all."
'Why? Why do you say that? Do you understand me? Do you know my situation?'
"If you are not willing to face your own weaknesses, then perhaps you should reconsider your stay at this academy."
'Why? Why are you so cruel? What did I do wrong?'
These questions filled Xierwei's mind and she hurriedly left the training ground.
She still remembered the way Morse looked at her and the emotion in his words.
'Why do you say these harsh words and seem so sincere at the same time? Why? Can't you see that they hurt me?'
Xierwei couldn't understand.
Why? Why did he say it so cruelly? Why did he remind himself of those things? Why?
Just when she was about to forget those memories, about to get rid of those memories that had been haunting her...
Her ears began to hurt, and the constant tinnitus kept pressing on her ears.
'Ah... those memories come back again...'
The memories she had tried so hard to suppress now resurfaced.
She kept running until she reached a place where no one could see her.
This was the place she came to whenever she wanted to escape from whatever was bothering her or whenever she wanted to take a break from the heavy workload of the academy.
“Hoo…Hoo…”
She began to breathe rapidly as she fell to the grass in the forest.
"Ha ha......"
No matter how deeply she breathed, she felt as if her lungs were about to be crushed... her chest felt like it was tied in a knot...
Xierwei hugged her knees, holding them with all her strength.
“Woo!”
There was a slight rustling of leaves, and Xierwei's low cry echoed in the academy grounds...
......
When faced with the pain of a loved one, not everyone's response is to seek revenge.
Everyone will react differently to this.
And Sylvie is one of them.
Although Sylvie was a kind-hearted and helpful person, there was another reason why she felt this way and lived a selfless life.
This is related to a memory from her childhood.
She lives in a border city where development is not perfect. Her childhood was not very eventful, just like an ordinary person, she played with the children in the neighborhood.
Because she has been very beautiful since she was a child and always has a happy smile, most children are happy to play with her, and she also feels very happy to see others smile.
Her parents dote on her very much, her brother always loves her, and their family is basically a happy family.
However, all this changed in one night.
It was a summer night, and she was playing with her friends. Because it was too hot, they preferred to play at night rather than in the morning. They were playing, laughing, and chasing each other in the dim streets.
But suddenly, a chilly atmosphere enveloped the entire neighborhood, and the joyful atmosphere was instantly broken. In this moment, everything changed. The air became cold, and the laughter was replaced by cries of fear.
She still remembers the first words she heard at that time.
"Ah... So delicious... Human children are so delicious..."
It was a monster-like sound, so creepy that it not only sent chills down Silvi's spine, but also filled the other children with fear.
A demon emerged from the shadows, its terrifying figure making everyone who saw it tremble with fear. Its eyes radiated malicious light, and its twisted smile made everyone who dared to look directly at it shudder.
This was a creature that Sylvie had never seen before, but it was a nightmare that she could never get rid of. She knew that was her nightmare.
Chaos broke out, people fled in panic, but Sylvie froze in place, her heart pounding in her chest. She watched as the demon's eyes locked onto her, with clear intent in them. Terror took over her senses, and everything around her became blurry.
"Will you become my prey?"
She remembered the devil's horrible mouth dripping with saliva... its teeth looked extremely sharp...
The demon slowly approached the girl who was frozen in fear. She tried to move her body, but her mind was blank...
She wanted to call for help, but no sound came out...
"Ah... Human..."
The deep voice kept ringing in her ears, making her tremble with fear, and the demon was getting closer and closer.
"stop!"
At this moment, a figure appeared in front of her, standing between her and the demon. It was Silvi's brother, his eyes full of determination, his posture unwavering. He held an ordinary sword in his hand, but his expression revealed a firmness that made Silvi feel a little excited even in fear.
"Hiss...get out of my way!"
Xi Erwei has always admired her brother because he is an awakened one. She also wants to fight like her brother and be as brave as him.
Her brother roared and rushed at the demon, engaging it in a fierce battle. The sound of metal and claws clashing echoed in the night, and Sylvie could only stand aside, in awe and fear, her emotions swirling into a mess.
In the battle, her brother successfully defeated the demon, but as a price, he was hit hard by the demon's claws and fell to the ground. Seeing her brother fall, injured and weak, Xierwei's heart fell to the bottom.
'It's terrible... The battle is terrible...'
"But, I want to help my brother..."
'It's all because of me... because of me... because of me... because of me...'
'I want to help him...but it's so scary...it's all because of me...'
Silvi saw that his brother finally defeated the demon, but his chest was seriously injured.
He lay on the ground writhing in pain, blood gushing out.
Xierwei blamed herself and felt that all this was because of her.
But at the same time, she was afraid, afraid to fight.
The sharp teeth of the devil never left her mind...
The devil's creepy voice has been lingering in my mind...
But she wanted to help her brother… She wanted to help those who sacrificed for people like her…
She wanted to help because she was filled with guilt…
Ultimately, her brother managed to fight off the demon, but the memory of that night was etched into Sylvie’s mind. The image of her brother, wounded, lingered in her mind, reminding her of her helplessness in the face of his pain.
Her eyes were filled with tears. She thought of what her brother had done for her and also of her own powerlessness at that time.
When Morse said he was going to attack her, she remembered what her brother looked like.
"I wish I could be as strong as you, brother..."
She hugged her legs tighter, tears streaming down her face.
Although she knew she might become a burden, she still believed that she could do something within her ability...
But why did Morse's words upset her so much? Why did she get so angry that she ran away from the training ground?
"Why should I leave?"
Sylvie asked herself, trying to figure out why. Was it because I saw myself in him? Was it because I felt a sense of fellow feeling with him?
She didn't know. But one thing was clear, because I had been paying attention to him silently, so now, his words had a greater impact on me than anyone else.
"Is it because what he said is true that I am in so much pain?"
For Sylvie, reading other people's emotions had become a subconscious reaction. So when she heard Morse's harsh words, she subconsciously checked his emotions.
He said it seriously, without any ulterior motives. This made him sad and angry.
Because it means his words come completely from the heart.
"it hurts......"
She felt a sense of betrayal.
The "sense of companionship" that I had felt towards him before was now gone, replaced by a feeling of emptiness.
"Silvi."
His voice echoed in his mind again.
"Why are you doing this?" She murmured in a low voice. Xierwei didn't want to hear his voice, nor did she want to recall the memories she tried hard to forget.
"You know what? If you keep going like this, you'll never be able to move forward."
However, he could not erase his words from his mind.
"I don't want to hear it, I don't want to fight, just go away," she whispered, trying to get rid of his voice in her head.
But in the end it was in vain.
“You’re running from the past.”
"No! You know nothing about me!" Sylvie shouted, and Morse's voice made her even more irritated.
Tears began to flow down Silvi's cheeks in a mixture of anger and sadness. She clenched her fists, her knuckles turning white from the force, and her emotions almost swallowed her up. She found herself standing in a remote corner of the academy, away from the sight of others, pouring out all her emotions into the air.
"You know nothing!" she cried, her voice shaking with anger and sadness. "You don't know what I've been through, or how hard I've tried to be strong. Who are you to judge me?"
Her words were an accusation against the voice of Morse, which haunted her like a ghost even though he was not there, and Sylvie felt a strong urge to defend herself, to make him understand her pain and struggle.
"I'm not a coward!" Sylvie's voice trembled with sobs, and her tears blurred her vision. "I have faced demons, I have seen people hurt, and I have done everything I could to help them. Just because I am not as strong as you does not mean I am weak."
Xierwei wiped away her tears angrily, feeling annoyed at her own fragility and helpless about the emotions that surged in her heart. Her chest felt dull and her heart tightened with pain. The memories of her brother's injury and the countless sufferings she had witnessed replayed in her mind over and over again.
"You don't understand what it feels like to see someone you care about get hurt and not be able to do anything about it." She whispered, her voice breaking with sobs. "You don't know what it feels like to be scared and powerless. So, stop calling me a coward!"
Sylvie's shoulders trembled under the weight of her emotions, and her tears flowed freely. In this moment of vulnerability, she finally allowed herself to face the pain, fear, and struggle.
"I know I'm weak... oooo..."
And at this moment, she took the first step to change...
"Swish——"
Just as she finished her words, a figure slowly moved from behind a tree behind her, revealing the figure of a young man.
"In this way, my debt has been paid. From now on, it's up to you to change yourself."
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