A world only known by the God of Lost Love

Having said this, the restaurant owner couldn't help but sigh.

"Children these days are really impulsive. Just losing love will lead to death... Even if this kind of thing happens to adults, it will definitely leave a psychological shadow-"

"Please, please wait!"

Realizing that the other party had very important information, Goto Kazuri immediately stood up.

"Can you please tell me more about Suzuki-san's 'ex-girlfriend'?"

"...Ah, it turns out you don't know the details."

After hearing Goto Ichiri's question, the restaurant owner showed a slightly hesitant expression.

"This matter... Logically speaking, the two of you are already traveling directly on weekends. It seems that telling you is no big deal... However, it feels a bit uncomfortable for me, an outsider, to explain this kind of matter..."

Because it was a matter of personal privacy, the restaurant owner was in a state of hesitation.

And at this moment-

"It doesn't matter. I will explain this to her myself later."

After making the call, Ren Suzuki returned to his seat and picked up his backpack.

"Then let's go ahead. Thank you for your hospitality."

"Bad hospitality... Come again next time, Xiaolian."

"Ok, I will."

After a brief farewell to the boss, Ren Suzuki took a panicked Gotou Kazuri and left the restaurant...

........................

"Yes, I'm sorry...Suzuki-kun."

On the way to the tram stop, Ichiri Goto curled his neck and weakly confessed to Ren Suzuki.

Needless to say, it goes without saying how rude it is to inquire into other people's privacy behind their backs, not to mention that she was arrested on the spot by the person involved.

This will definitely make him angry!

"I shouldn't have just inquired about your past. I'm really sorry..."

"Huh? It doesn't matter. You don't have to worry about it at all."

After hearing this, Suzuki Ren said calmly:

"Like I just said, I was planning to talk to you a little bit about my past."

"……Eh?"

After hearing this, Goto Ichiri was stunned for a moment, then she quickened her pace and came to Suzuki Ren's side, and asked:

"Really, really? Suzuki-san was planning to tell me in the first place!"

"Well, after all, it was something I wrote into the lyrics, so it doesn't matter even if I tell you."

Ren Suzuki showed a reassuring smile:

"And as the song you wrote expresses, by now I have completely let go of what happened at that time. Even if I tell others, it will not affect my mood."

"That's good……"

After learning that the other party really didn't care about his rude behavior, Goto Kazuri breathed a sigh of relief.

"Because the story written in the lyrics is a bit... too heavy, so I was worried that it might be something Suzuki-san doesn't want to mention."

"About this, it's actually the same as the boss just called me."

Ren Suzuki said:

"At the beginning, I really didn't want to mention it...I even felt very resistant even thinking about it. But as time went by, I gradually got used to it."

In fact, after listening to the closing band's performance, Ren Suzuki had already decided to confess the matter to Goto Kazuri.

After all, she created music that best suited his mood based on those lyrics alone. To a certain extent, she may be the person in the world who can best understand his mood.And for Gotou Kazuri, he had always felt guilty and didn't want to hide too much from her.

Now, since the other party is clearly curious about his experience, there is no reason for him to hide it anymore.

"Ah, we arrived just in time."

Suddenly, Ren Suzuki stood still and raised his head, and then Ichiri Goto followed Suzuki Ren's gaze.

What appeared in their field of vision was a pedestrian bridge spanning the street with a height of about five meters.

Under Goto Kazuri's stunned eyes, Ren Suzuki stared at the overpass and sighed slightly:

"That's where she jumped."

"……Eh?"

Ren Suzuki finally began to tell about his past.

(69-in-[-]) Chapter [-]: Chatting without wind is as clear as a close-up

"Although Hiiragi and I have always been classmates, I only met her in the second half of the second semester of junior high school."

After walking onto the overpass, Ren Suzuki grabbed the railing and showed a rather nostalgic expression.

"That guy is really similar to you in some ways. His bangs are so long that you can't see his eyes. He always lowers his head subconsciously when talking to people. His voice and tone are so weak that it's ridiculous. I never thought about it. I would interact with her...until one day, when I noticed that she had been ostracized by other girls in the class, I suddenly started to care about this person."

Having said this, a rather complicated expression appeared on his face.

"Should I say it's sympathy or worry? In short, at that time I struck up a conversation with Hiiragi for the first time and became friends with her very forcefully... She is also very similar to you in this respect, like you Introverts always have a hard time saying no to others.”

After hearing this, Gotou Ichiri immediately said:

"But I didn't become friends with you because of Suzuki-san's force..."

"I know, because when I came into contact with you, I already learned how to correctly guide social barriers. But at that time, I didn't have this kind of knowledge at all."

At that time, he was just a simple, cheerful... junior high school student who didn't know what it meant to be considerate.

With his overly simplistic thinking, he thought that as long as Hiiragi could make more friends, she would be able to change her past autistic state and become able to enjoy campus life like him.

In fact, Hiiragi did undergo many positive changes at the beginning, driven by Ren Suzuki.

She became less resistant to interacting with people and became able to communicate with them.

She works hard to build good relationships with the people around Ren Suzuki and tries her best to become friends with them.

Under the leadership of Ren Suzuki, she began to get in touch with those who were popular in the class, and as time went by, she was even able to go out with them on weekends, or directly participate in some group activities. A group.

For a time, her status in the class had surpassed that of the girls who had once excluded her, and she was heading towards a height beyond their reach.

Such smooth development naturally makes Suzuki Ren, as a promoter, very proud.

In his opinion at the time, his move could be said to have directly "saved" Hiiragi, who was originally lonely and miserable, and brought her to a brand new world full of brilliance.At the same time, every time he "lent a helping hand" to Hiiragi, he would also feel a very strong sense of "being relied on".

But at that time, he had never thought about how much this girl, who had an unfortunate family and was extremely lonely in campus life, would feel dependent on him, the person who took the initiative to approach her.

He never thought about what kind of concessions and obedience this girl would make for him, driven by this sense of dependence.

In this way, while helping himself, Ren Suzuki gradually began to enjoy the feeling of being a savior, misunderstanding it as another emotion.

In the end, driven by this misunderstanding, he took the initiative to confess his love to Hiiragi, and the two became lovers.

And the ending of the two of them was determined from this moment on.

"I only saw that Hiiragi made more friends under my influence...but I never thought about how much pressure my behavior of forcibly changing others would bring to her."

Staring at the bottom of the overpass, Ren Suzuki smiled to himself.

"I didn't realize at all that the reason why Hiiragi was so actively cooperating with my plan was actually just because she liked me and didn't want to disappoint me, not that she really liked this... In fact, I have always been What she considers to be 'rescue' is simply forcing her to force herself."

After all, there is a limit to what people can bear.

Hiiragi's pressure continued to accumulate as time went on, and finally reached the threshold and exceeded her tolerance.

One day, without Ren Suzuki's knowledge, Hiiragi had a dispute with a friend of Ren Suzuki's.

When Suzuki Ren knew about this, he didn't even ask about the reason and just asked Hiiragi to apologize to that friend.

In his opinion, this was nothing more than a small quarrel between friends, which could be resolved by just giving in a little.

However, under the accumulated pressure, the mentally and physically exhausted Hiiragi failed to understand Suzuki Ren's meaning at all, and directly regarded Suzuki Ren's attitude as shielding him and contempt for himself.

Hiiragi, who has been trying hard to suppress himself, finally failed this time.

The dispute between her and another person not only failed to reconcile, but further expanded, intensified, and directly spread to the entire small group at a jaw-dropping speed.

In the end, the matter was temporarily resolved with Ren Suzuki's apology.

But after that, Ren Suzuki and Hiiragi could no longer return to that group as usual.

"And after that, I found out that the reason why Hiiragi quarreled with them was because they said bad things about me behind my back."

Ren Suzuki sighed.

"I have never been truly accepted, so being able to break with them may not be a bad thing for me. But... I didn't think so at the time."

Suzuki Ren, who lost his "friend", naturally blamed Hiiragi for all this.

Hiiragi, who had calmed down again, was unable to defend himself, so he naturally took all the responsibility on himself.

After that, Ren Suzuki's situation in the class has always been very embarrassing. He who was once at the top of the class suddenly became an "exile" who was expelled.For a time, there was no one in the entire class who was willing to take the initiative to chat with him.

And what Hiiragi would think after seeing Ren Suzuki's situation... is naturally self-evident.

Long-term coercion and endurance created stress.

The events after the outbreak led to misunderstandings.

The avalanche of self-denial gradually crushed her heart, and her feelings for Ren Suzuki gave rise to self-blame that made her feel even more tormented.

In the end, what completely destroyed her heart was the "breakup news" from Ren Suzuki.

"Probably because it has been too long, I no longer enjoy the feeling of being 'dependent', but regard her 'care' as a trouble. And once this sense of accomplishment disappears, my false 'love' for her It will also naturally collapse.”

Ren Suzuki let go of the railing and stood up straight again.

"So, I broke up. As for what happened next...it was just like what was written in the lyrics."

Hiiragi, who regarded Suzuki Ren as everything, completely collapsed. At the same time, the self-blame and pressure that had not faded made her thoughts become extreme.

And extreme thoughts... will naturally lead to extreme behaviors.

"After she left me a 'farewell message', she jumped directly from here... Fortunately, the driver under the bridge noticed her movements that day and stopped the car before hitting her, otherwise..."

Suzuki Ren did not continue.

If what he heard when he went to the hospital was about her death, then it would definitely leave an indelible shadow in his heart for the rest of his life.

Fortunately... God did not give up on this poor girl.

After being tortured by her unscrupulous father and childish lover, she finally found her true destination.

And after hearing this, Goto Ichiri's hanging heart was slightly relieved.

"So...she was okay in the end?"

"Well... falling from a height of five meters did not threaten her life, but... the strong impact on her brain caused her to lose part of her memory."

Ren Suzuki said:

"This kind of avoidant amnesia is a protective measure for the human spirit. Thinking about it now, the days she spent with me may indeed not be called wonderful memories, and this is what I have left now. , the biggest regret.”

Immature cognition will naturally not produce a mature view of love.

The unique impulsiveness and narrow-mindedness of young people have also led to many commonplace incidents.

By now, Suzuki Ren, who has looked away, no longer regrets those unavoidable mistakes.

But no matter what...he really didn't want to be a person who would only bring painful memories to his lover.

In this way, the experience of first love directly changed Suzuki Ren's views on "love".

He became cautious, careful, and cautious.

He will fully understand and analyze his lover's family and psychological situation, and he will try his best to find the most comfortable way of getting along with each other.

He will put himself in the other person's shoes and think about everything, and he will do his best to satisfy the other person's desires for himself.

And the most important thing is...after that, he never took the initiative to break up even once.

"This is my past."