A world only known by the God of Lost Love

"Well, yes."

Completely different from Suzuki Ren's embarrassment at this moment, Hiiragi nodded calmly.

"I can remember everything about you."

"………………Is it."

There was an indescribable emotion in my chest.

Since the other party can talk to her normally, it means that she has probably completely moved on from her past memories.But it was precisely because she remembered everything that Ren Suzuki didn't know how to talk to her.

Even though he no longer blames himself as the "perpetrator", he is still the culprit who led everything to this point.

Should I confess to her that I didn't think well at the time?Or should we be grateful for the other person's current health and safety?Or will the conversation end here and the two of them forget about each other?

Ren Suzuki stood there for a long time, unable to make a choice.

However, the next second, Hiiragi took the initiative and asked Ren Suzuki:

"After the live is over, do you want to go have a drink?"

As if he could see his hesitation at this moment from Ren Suzuki's slightly furrowed brow, Hiiragi took the initiative to break the deadlock.

"We...should all have a lot to say to each other, right?"

"……Yeah."

Ren Suzuki nodded.

"At least... I do have a lot of things I want to say to you."

"Then let's have a nice chat later."

Hiiragi said with a smile.

"For now, the two of us should listen to this live properly first."

"it is good."

Like Hiiragi, Ren Suzuki turned his attention to the stage again.

At the same time, he immediately noticed that Goto Ichiri was also looking in the direction of him——

[Also, although I am not [-]% sure...but I think...Miss Hiiragi may not only have painful memories when she is with you. 】

At that time, after listening to the story between himself and Hiiragi, this is how Goto Kazuri answered himself.

If the facts are really as Goto said, then...this period of self-reflection that has lasted for five years may finally have come to a conclusion.

Looking back at the pair of figures that looked extremely beautiful and shining under the light, Ren Suzuki took a deep breath slowly.

........................

After the live, Ren Suzuki and Hiiragi went to an izakaya near [STARRY].

After the two of them sat down, before Suzuki Ren could react, Hiiragi took the lead in calling the passing waiter and asked for two menus from him——

"This is for you, Lord Lian."

"..."

After taking the menu from Hiiragi's hand, Ren Suzuki was silent for a moment, and then said:

"Are you... able to talk to strangers normally now?"

"Yeah, awesome, right?"

Hiiragi smiled lightly.

"I learned this skill in high school. In order to hone my courage, I would challenge myself to go to Starbucks almost every weekend."

"But you're not particularly sensitive to coffee?"

"So every time I just order ice cream."

As Hiiragi spoke, he moved his gaze from the menu to Ren Suzuki.

"Speaking of which, Lord Lian, you... actually remember so many things about me, I'm a little happy."

"...Isn't that natural?"

Ren Suzuki also put down the menu and looked at each other.

"After all, no matter how miserable the ending is, you are still my first love... and you won't be forgotten so easily."

"That's right..."

After listening to Ren Suzuki's words, the shallow smile on Hiiragi's face froze for a moment, then she lowered her head slightly and said:

"I...actually I have recalled everything after I entered high school. But in order to protect me at that time, my mother almost cut off all contact between me and the junior high school, so...I couldn't contact you at that time no matter what. . Moreover, at that time, I was also afraid of hearing your voice again."

"……why?"

"Because I'm worried that after I did such an extreme thing, you will hate me even more than when we broke up."

Having said this, a trace of obvious bitterness appeared on Hiiragi's face.

"For me at that time, it was definitely the scariest thing."

"I won't do it just because of something like this-"

After hearing this, Suzuki Ren was very eager to say something. However, after seeing the disappointment in Hiiragi's eyes that had not completely faded away, he calmed down again and asked again:

"Even if I personally forced you into such a miserable situation? Are you still worried about being disliked by me?"

"........."

After listening to Ren Suzuki's rhetorical question, Hiiragi first raised his head and glanced at Ren Suzuki with an incredulous look, and then slowly shook his head:

"Even though so much time has passed, Lord Lian is still as gentle as before."

"What nonsense are you talking about?"

Suzuki Ren frowned slightly.

"If I was really a gentle person, then I shouldn't have broken up with you, or even if I did, I shouldn't have used that hasty and irresponsible way -"

"...Lianjun."

"what happened?"

"We are... no longer lovers."

After interrupting Suzuki Ren's words, Hiiragi looked directly into Suzuki Ren's eyes with a slightly lonely smile on his face:

"So, you no longer need to excuse me like you did in the past."

"........."

For a moment, Suzuki Ren felt that all the words he wanted to say were blocked in his throat. At the same time, he seemed to finally understand where the knot in his heart that had been difficult to untie came from.

The phantom that turned its back to him and fell from the overpass was shattered, replaced by a real existence that could truly respond to him and give him a clear answer.

"After such a long time...even I have still grown up."

After handing the written order to the waiter, Hiiragi said to Ren Suzuki:

"So, please be sure not to have any concerns or worries... feel free and bold to have a good chat with the 'now Hiiragi'."

Chapter 93: A formal farewell five years late

For Hiiragi, the time spent with Ren Suzuki was not as painful and forced as he thought.

Although it was indeed a bit hard for him to force him to get to know all kinds of cashiers, for Hiiragi, the process of being exposed to new things with Suzuki Ren was enough fun.

"Moreover, if you hadn't led me to try these, I would definitely not know what kind of environment I am more suitable for, and I would not have made so many friends who really get along with me after that. No matter how you think about it, I should be grateful That experience.”

Hiiragi put down his wine glass and said:

"You have no reason to be responsible for my immaturity, Lian-kun. You have done enough for me for those of us at that age."

I don't know whether it's because she has completely changed her personality, or because she is under the influence of alcohol. The impression of Hiiragi at this time is completely different from that of her in junior high school.

Whether it was the calmness with which he placed his order just now, or the calmness and generosity with which he was talking to himself at this moment.It all made Suzuki Ren feel extremely strange.

Is this... the answer she found through her own efforts after eliminating the wrong options she listed for her?

After learning that he had also served as a "wrong example" in the other person's growth process, Ren Suzuki felt better.

"But anyway... the reason why I took you to do those things at that time was not just out of pure goodwill or my liking for you."

As Ren Suzuki spoke, she squeezed the cup in her hand slightly.

"I am enjoying the sense of accomplishment of being dependent on you, and driven by vanity, I constantly force you to do things you don't like...I don't think such motivation is worthy of gratitude."

"……Eh?"

After hearing Suzuki Ren's words, Hiiragi's eyes widened at first, and then he said:

"Can being with someone like me... actually give you a sense of accomplishment?"

"I just wanted to say, can you still be happy when you are with me?"

"Does that need to be said? Let's not talk about how much you took care of me when we were together. You were the first boy to take the initiative to talk to me! And you were the most popular one in the class! I thought at the time that I had traveled through time. Are you in some girls’ manga!”

"It's not that exaggerated, right? I just did what most boyfriends can do, right?"

"For me at that time, this level was enough! Otherwise, why do you think I was so afraid that you would hate me? It's because I really can't bear the contrast between before and after!"

"..."

"..."

After refuting each other in an almost quarrelsome manner, the two looked at each other in silence for a while before they laughed in unison.

"It seems that the two of us really don't understand each other well enough."

"Yeah, we can't even understand each other at this level. No wonder the two of us ended up like that."

The two of them clinked their glasses together, and then took a sip together.

........................

"But in the end...that's what puppy love is all about, right?"

After drinking for three rounds, Hiiragi squinted his eyes and said with emotion:

"When both parties are immature, treating the other party in a way they think is right... is simply too childish."

"Yeah, it's so immature!"

Ren Suzuki drank the wine in the glass in one gulp again, and said in a rather affirmative tone:

"If it were me now, I would definitely be able to guide your growth in a more thoughtful and gentle way."

"If it were me now, I would definitely be able to resolve the misunderstanding between us more appropriately."

Hiiragi imitated Ren Suzuki and replied:

"Such a hypothesis is meaningless, Lord Lian. If we didn't have the experience at that time, we wouldn't be where we are now, right?"

"That's it... so to speak..."

Under the influence of alcohol, Ren Suzuki almost let go of all reserve at this time, and confessed to Hiiragi in a very hopeless tone:

"But I really don't want to leave painful memories for others that need to be forgotten in order to escape...I'm really sorry, Hiiragi. I pushed you to that point...I'm really...very sorry..."

"That's not the case..."

Seeing the extremely regretful expression on Suzuki Ren's face, Hiiragi shook his head, a trace of loneliness flashed in his eyes.

"You didn't know my family and mental state at the time, so you certainly didn't think that I would do such a stupid thing. And... the reason why you wanted to break up with me was indeed because you were with me. You didn’t get what you wanted, right? I was equally at fault for failing to maintain that relationship.”

After saying that, she also picked up the wine glass and drank it in one gulp.

But compared to Suzuki Ren's drunken state at the moment, her performance at this time was much sober.

"However, there is only one thing...I hope you can understand, Lian-kun."

"……what?"

"Until now...I have never regretted being with you."

Word by word, Hiiragi said to him in an extremely serious tone:

"It didn't happen in the past, it won't happen now... and it definitely won't happen in the future."