Longmen Memoirs

Perhaps the outcome after victory in this war will be worse, and many people will die. In the end, Kazdaele will continue to split, and Theresia will become a puppet like Bolivar after being sidelined.

Sakaz has faced too many failures. How can this broken country rise again in this difficult situation?Is it worth paying a huge price to rise again?

Theresia must be thinking about these issues as well.

But she was always too gentle and came across as too gentle. She hid these worries deeply in her heart, but she could not deny the heavy responsibility on her shoulders and the confusion of the bumpy road ahead.

The outcome of this war may not be as good as expected. It may achieve a tragic result after exhausting the resources Sarkaz has finally accumulated.

Perhaps, those people seen at the Tower of Babel will die. Those familiar faces, those people seen every day, will die after this war, and their deaths will be meaningless.

Ideals and concepts cannot be all the pillars to save a country. Its germination requires land and time, and Kazdaele lacks these.

The buried seed needs to be watered. Waiting for it to grow into a towering tree to protect Sakaz from the wind and rain cannot be done overnight. Besides, there are outsiders and internal borers with evil intentions who are eager to break the sapling.

Theresia hesitated.

She was hesitant about whether this war was worth it, she was hesitant about whether she should choose a certain way to end this fight to save a spark of fire for Sakaz, and she was hesitant about whether these familiar faces in her daily life would one day be covered in blood. cover.

She is such a person and cannot be a hero or a king.

There was sadness in her heart.

She hopes they can all survive, but war always kills people.

This sadness and kindness shaped her into a great person.

She couldn't live up to the eyes that looked at her with expectations and longing, and she couldn't watch them sacrifice their lives for an uncertain result.

The further you go from the Tower of Babel, the deeper it will sink.

I started to hesitate a little...

Maybe I shouldn't have told Theresia those so-called ideas at the beginning. I gave her a clear hope that she shouldn't have. I thought she should have plucked up the courage after hearing those ideas. During the days when I became her escort, I asked him again and again about that future.

I thought she was thinking about achieving that future on her own.

But maybe I was wrong... She might also be looking forward to it. After I told her about the future, a certain idea in her heart became more determined, but it was not the idea I thought it was.

Easier said than done.

But I can't watch her die in front of me, I don't allow it, and I can't do it!

Maybe even I didn't notice that my feelings for her had already changed.

I was selfish. Even though I said high-sounding that I wanted to save this country, how could I watch her sleep forever in my arms and never wake up again.

------

Chen Mo was sitting on the hillside behind the camp with a small notebook on his lap.

He just sat there casually. He had not yet taken off the raincoat he was wearing after the light rain. His military boots were stained with mud. In the distance was the shadow of the huge ship Rhode Island. The sky gradually began to clear up after the light rain, and the earth was still wet. .

[Small tower:

Rhodes Island is on its way to the camp. We have encountered five or six attacks in the past few days. Most of them are hired mercenary teams. A few are mixed with elite spies from unknown forces. Maybe they belong to the Tower of Babel. The force may also have people from Tracys side.

All in all, except for the first attack, everything else wasn't too difficult.

They have probably suffered a lot. On the way closer to the camp, the intervals between attacks are getting longer and longer. I think the last attack should be the last test. After all, this is the only thing that can be done in other aspects so far. degree, and the closer Rhode Island is to the rear, the safer it becomes.

However... the situation may become more critical later on. My identity is not suitable for dealing with the powerful factions under the Tower of Babel. These matters will be left to others.

You probably don’t want to hear about the political struggles within the Tower of Babel and Kazdaele, and I’m not good at telling them either.

Where did we talk last time... Speaking of Hedley and his team, I have been paying attention to them during this period. It seems that many of them have changed their minds. They may stay, but Hedley himself and His confidants probably wouldn't be so easily swayed.

I plan to wait until after Grai to talk to him, deliberately ignore him for a few days, and say something funny. He should be a little restless these days.

He seems quite...afraid of me, probably because I was a bit harsh last time and left a bad impression on this veteran mercenary...]

Chen Mo stopped writing and closed his notebook. He heard footsteps behind him.

The mercenary leader who was being raised stood behind him under the leadership of the members leaving the court.

"Sir, someone wants to see you."

"You go to work first."

The members leaving the court nodded, turned away from the slope, and walked into the camp below.

Chen Mo looked at Hedley who was standing a few meters away looking at him.

"Come to see me?" he asked.

"I asked the Tower of Babel about your residence without permission, and I have something I want to say face to face." Hedley smiled with a smile on his lips. He was probably not good at showing this kind of expression.

"Don't be formal. I'm not a noble or a big shot. If you don't mind, just sit down. It just so happens that I'm also thinking about chatting with you." Chen Mo pointed to his side.

Hedley did not hesitate and walked to sit next to him.

He saw Chen Mo shake out a cigarette from his arms and hand it to him. Hedley did not refuse, and glanced at the closed notes on his lap, without paying much attention or consideration.

Chen Mo stretched out his fingers to light the cigarette in his mouth, and moved the flame in his hand. Hedley was stunned. He swore he had never seen anyone using magic like this. After hesitating for a moment, he lit the cigarette.

The smoke filled the air. After slowly blowing out a smoke ring, Hedley was still worried. The leader who left the court in front of him personally killed Garson's man, which gave him another different impression.

It seems that he is not as ruthless and ruthless as he was on the battlefield.

Last time, he was beaten to the point of being unable to fight back, but now the two of them were sitting side by side on the top of the mountain smoking. Hedley couldn't help but feel a little weird in his heart. He couldn't understand the leader who was leaving the court in front of him.

"I originally planned to talk to you after returning to the camp. Since you come here in person now, it saves us a lot of effort." Chen Mo said, shaking his fingertips and holding a cigarette: "I have seen His Highness and Kai Erxi?"

"After the last mission, His Highness... His Highness talked to me alone, and later met Dr. Kelsey... I recently learned that I should call her Lord Kelsey."

Hedley's expression relaxed a little, and when he talked about Kelsey, he looked slightly melancholy.

"Kelsey shouldn't care about these titles." Chen Mo thought for a moment and asked, "She speaks very straightforwardly, right?"

"Yes." Hedley carefully organized his words and said: "She asked us if we would like to stay in the Tower of Babel..."

"It's like her style, so how did you answer?"

"We have thought about staying here, but the environment in the Tower of Babel is not suitable for people with my personality to stay here for a long time."

Hedley replied. He looked at the camp below. The people coming and going in the camp reminded him of what their camp looked like back then.

"...We lost a lot of manpower in this operation. Of course, I have no intention of blaming the Tower of Babel. After accepting this mission, we were already prepared to take any risks. We knew very well who we were going against. .”

"But you didn't say it. You didn't have the guts to refuse the order from the Tower of Babel. You were forced to do so, and I think the loss would be even more severe than you imagined."

Chen Mo spoke bluntly and glanced at Hedley's seemingly rigid face.

"I used your people as bait. If I don't say I hope you forgive me, you must feel uncomfortable, but as a Sakaz mercenary, you should be able to understand the reason why I did this."

"...I can understand. If I were, I would too. Human life is not very precious in Kazdare. Each Sarkarz has its price. Sooner or later, we will die for this."

Hedley said: "This is the way of survival for Sakaz mercenaries. The price is clearly marked and no one can complain."

"But Your Highness, she doesn't think so." Chen Mo said.

Hedley paused.

"Yes." He sighed: "Your Highness will remember them. I am very grateful to Your Highness. We have lost too many parts that can be called human beings, but Your Highness, she always remembers them."

"I remember you too, even if you choose another path. There will be many people who choose to stay, and the power you have finally accumulated may disappear in one fell swoop. Are you willing? Hedley." Chen Mo asked, his straightforward words Stab this mercenary's feelings.

He did not turn around to see the mercenary's expression.

What can you do if you are not willing to give in?Hedley thought.He couldn't beat Chen Mo, and he didn't want to lose his life for someone who had died long ago. It wasn't worth it.

"Yes, I won't stop them, and the Tower of Babel has no intention of restraining us. In fact, many people are tired of wandering and surviving, and they want to settle down temporarily. The mercenaries will flee into the war. In the middle, hiding yourself with the smoke rising from the ruins is not a long-term solution after all.”

"So you are here now because you are not sure whether I will force you to stay after the Tower of Babel decides to let you leave?" Chen Mo said.

Hedley didn't answer, which was regarded as acquiescence.

He had a brief conversation with Chen Mo before, and the other party didn't give them a chance to choose, and he said it very harshly.

Chen Mo put out his cigarette.

"It was on the battlefield, and the situation on both sides was very chaotic. I have to tell you that." Chen Mo said, and Hedley breathed a sigh of relief: "Since Theresia didn't stop you from leaving, I won't do it either. The evil people are targeting you secretly. Once Rhodes Island arrives at the camp, your mission will be over, and you can leave if you want."

Chen Mo said and paused for a moment.

"But there are some things I still have to tell you. If I meet you on the battlefield next time, you and I will know everything."

"I understand, we will leave Kazdaele." Hedley replied: "Ms. Kelsey also reminded her that she has no reason to stop us from continuing to wander this land as mercenaries, but there are many things that we don't need her for." Say, I understand too.”

Hedley sighed.

"We are Sarkarz. While His Highness and others chose to continue fighting for this land, people like me gave up on Kazdare and chose to escape."

"Some of what Dr. Kelsey said may be straightforward, but it makes sense. She said that mercenaries of small scale are always like this. Compared with the huge forces that are twisted into one, forces that want to remain independent are always fragile. , I understand this... deeply.”

"Your thoughts are normal." Chen Mo said: "The war in Kazdaele has lasted for too long. It is not surprising that you who live in the war would have such thoughts. Kazdaele has not brought you anything. Naturally, I can’t force you to do anything for it, or even risk everything you have now.”

Chen Mo said: "Even if she is Theresia, the king you are loyal to."

Hedley was startled for a moment. He glanced at Chen Mo in slight surprise. His astonished expression was fleeting and well hidden. He gently squeezed the nearly burned out cigarette in his hand.

"I didn't expect you to say that..."

"Don't be surprised. These words would be better for His Highness. Everyone has their own way to go, whether it is to escape or to face difficulties. Kazdaele should not force it on you Sakaz who want to live. , of course you also have reasons to fight for this land, whether you leave or stay, there is nothing wrong with it, you don’t have to feel sorry."

Chen Mo turned to look at Hedley sitting next to him.

He said with a chuckle, looking up at the dispersing clouds and haze in the sky.

"Your Highness, she will not force you. I think she even feels guilty for you."

"Perhaps one day, if we lose this war, those of you who choose to leave will become the help of those who survive. After all, who is willing to do a loss-making business for a group of idealists, but maybe, if there is a day card Zdel can really change, and those of you who have left will find that this country has become a little better when you come back, and you will be willing to stay."

"..."

Hedley fell silent. He suddenly found that he had a completely different understanding of the person in front of him. He remembered Ines's words. He said that he saw a ferocious and huge black shadow. Hedley Ray could imagine it, because he had faced the horror of the man in front of him, but Ines added that he felt no malice.

Hedley felt no ill will, either.

The time he stayed in the Tower of Babel gave him a different feeling than outside Kazdaele. Although it was short-lived, this organization was completely different from the mercenaries.

They are stable, share the same yearning, and have ideals that may seem naive and unrealistic but are inevitably desirable and admirable. They fight for this and are becoming the people they want to be. They are not just living for the sake of living.

Hedley thought of the fallen flag and the child who died for the flag. He also thought of the stench and decay that stretched for hundreds of miles outside the industrial area, and how many princes and nobles were there.

The struggles of the Sakaz people, the malice of the outside world, and the hopes and enthusiasm that have long been given up.

Hedley is not a passionate person. Hedley knows it very well. He also knows how difficult it is to gather a mercenary group of his own after leaving the Tower of Babel. He is doing it in the outside world under the banner of Sakaz. Mercenaries, it was Sakaz mercenaries like him that made people regard the Sakaz people as cold-blooded, cruel, murderous demons.

It is people like him who abandon Sakaz who are cutting off the backbone and future of this country bit by bit.

The mercenary flag should fall.Hedley thought.

He is not afraid of death. How can someone who is afraid of death dare to become a mercenary? He is just used to living as a mercenary. He still has attachment and love for this land in his heart.

He was just afraid of losing hope. Hope without results is poisonous. Why not expect this kind of thing from the beginning? He did not deny that he was shrinking, nor did he deny the weighing in his heart.

"Then, with all due respect, since you know this, why do you still stay?"

But this mercenary, something that had long been extinguished in his heart, somehow ignited a spark.

"You... are not Sakaz." Hedley's eyes were on Chen Mo. He did not see any of the characteristics of the Sakaz people he was familiar with in Chen Mo. It was like a part of the film in the Tower of Babel. It was the same as Feng Tie and Vai Fan, but the difference was... Hedley knew that the people in front of him had different thoughts from those people. He couldn't help but feel a little ashamed, and he left as quickly as he came.

Perhaps this thought came to him, and he secretly felt that he was self-deprecating and ironic

The doctor is a person who is reluctant to get in touch with deeply. Maybe he can ask him this question, but Hedley knows that due to his character, he will not ask the doctor such words. It is just a conversation, so Hedley Lei Cai asked Chen Mo.

"You want to know?" Chen Mo said. He looked at the burned out cigarette in Hedley's hand: "Well, for the sake of our friendship over having a cigarette."

"There's no reason, Hedley, I insist on giving a reason... maybe it's because I have a mercenary like you, Miss Sakaz, as my adjutant. She often asks me similar questions, and..." Chen Mo Looking at the huge land speeder in the distance, he withdrew his gaze.

Pointing to the camp below.

"...I have to let these guys who are not afraid of death die a worthy death."

Hedley was stunned.

He looked up at the camp below and its members.

"Is it a worthy death..."

He repeated in a low voice, slowly clenching his fingers.

The Sakaz mercenaries are not afraid of death. The Sakaz mercenaries are always repeating the same death, sunrise and sunset, year after year, without end, hiding in the smoke and ruins, living in order to survive.