Longmen Memoirs

As for Wei Yanwu, her uncle was often more disappointed than expected when he looked at her. No matter how much progress she made, no matter how much effort and sweat she put in, Wei Yanwu never wanted to look at her once.

He never liked himself.

The day Chen cut off the old tree in the courtyard, he suddenly realized that his sister didn't like him, and of course he didn't have much love for him.

She had grown up in such an environment, and no one had much expectations for her. Fortunately, Chen Huijie was Chen Huijie after all, and perhaps Wei Yanwu's teachings did not make her go astray because of her own experiences.

Only she remembered Xiaota's departure. She let go of Xiaota's hand. She wanted to find Xiaota again, but no one would help her. For this reason, she could only keep squeezing herself, filled with guilt and self-blame. It captured her heart and grew up with her.

Just like when Chen Mo broke into her and Talulah's life, perhaps from that time on, there was no so-called distance between them. Their lives were tied together from the beginning, so they could only 【-

For Chen, who grew up in such a gloomy life, the life in the orphanage was the only beauty in her childhood, and one of the people who brought this beauty was called Chen Mo.

He has the same surname as himself. When in front of him, Chen can always be a willful and bad-tempered young lady. No matter how many times she beats him or scolds him, he will always smile.

He always had interesting stories and was always annoyingly cheeky.

But Chen likes that cheeky person, she can't deny it. Every time after leaving, she is looking forward to the next encounter. Originally it was for Xiaota, but later she wanted to see that soft-hearted Chen again.

She couldn't deny that she was always so happy when she was with Ruanfan Chen, as if she had forgotten all her unhappiness.

Listen to him tell some interesting stories, listen to his complaints, and listen to him walking on the streets of Longmen in shock.

Chen remembered him so deeply that he would be unforgettable for the rest of his life.

Rain fell from the leaden sky over Londinium.

The heavy rain soaked Chen's whole body in an instant.

Her blue hair stuck awkwardly to her forehead in the rain. She didn't look good. The pair of black horns made Chen Mo feel somewhat nostalgic.

She stood in front of Chen Mo, and the rain fell on her body and Chen Mo.

Chen actually didn't think about how much would be left between them ten years later. Those vague past events and fragments exploded in his mind like raindrops smashed to the ground.

Chen raised her head and looked at Chen Mo. She pursed her lips tightly, but her eyes were calm.

It's so calm that it feels depressing.

Chen Mo pulled up the corner of his mouth, trying to show a smile, a relaxed and false smile that he hadn't seen for a long time. It was like seeing a childhood friend he hadn't seen for many years, exchanging a few casual and unexpected words, and then passing by.

He wanted to say it's been so long, I almost didn't recognize you, but he couldn't finish his words.

Chen suddenly raised his hand.

Chen's actions are not so sudden in Chen Mo's eyes now. In the past ten years, he has learned a lot and is no longer the guy who Chen could easily pin to the ground.

But Chen Mo couldn't avoid it. It was probably because he didn't think about anything at that time. How could he think of so many things in less than a second? He just didn't avoid it, just like he had no defense against Chen.

"Snapped--"

The slap was loud and crisp, mixed in with the sound of rain.

Chen Mo didn't hold back. Under the cold raindrops, the burning pain, what Chen Mo wanted to say, and the hypocritical smile he showed before he could were all shattered by this slap.

Chen Mo turned his head again and faced Chen. Before Chen could put down his hand, those eyes seemed to tell him that if he dared to say the same words again or show that kind of smile, she would do it again.

Chen indeed hated Chen Mo, hated Chen Mo's betrayal, hated Chen Mo's selfishness, and hated his own powerlessness.

But what she hated even more was that Chen Mo left without saying goodbye, and suddenly there was no news. No matter how long she looked for him, he seemed to have suddenly disappeared from the dragon gate and disappeared from her life.

Even if you say goodbye, even if you tell me you will come back.

But Chen Mo left nothing behind.

Chen Mo opened his mouth slightly.

He still had to say it again, with another shameless smile on his face, as if to convince himself that this would draw a clear line.

But he couldn't say the words after all, and the smile froze on his face.

Chen suddenly reached out and hugged him.

Her embrace came so unexpectedly, in the heavy rain, just like the separation of more than ten years, like this chance encounter in Londinium, like the words Chen Mo couldn't say: "Long time no see and..." I should have told Chen that I would come back.

Chen Mo raised his hand and slowly lowered it.

He lowered his head and couldn't see the expression on Chen's face, nor could he see whether there was anger or joy in her eyes.

He owed Chen a lot. It would be better to say that he never really cared about Chen. In Chen Mo's heart, there was only Tallulah, just like there was only Xiaota in Chen's heart.

The only thing connecting him and Chen was the small tower, and that was how it should have been.

But Chen's sudden movement seemed to tell Chen Mo that it was not just this reason, there was more between him and Chen, and he and Chen also had memories that only belonged to each other.

Just like the name in Chen's mouth that only she can call out, just like she is the only one who can beat people up, and just like Chen Huijie who can't be avoided every time Chen Mo recalls his childhood in Longmen.

Chen Huijie, Chen Huijie.

What people want to forget the most is actually always in their hearts, and what they keep in their hearts and never forget is the easiest to be forgotten.

Chen Mo raised his hanging hand again, hugged Chen in his arms, and gently placed his chin on the girl's head.

The cold rain failed to extinguish the warmth brought by Chen's body in my arms.

Chen Mo suddenly felt that his dark and miserable life for more than ten years had finally paid off. Even though he had lived such a miserable life for more than ten years, it was all worth it now.

He was once afraid that things would be different when he returned to Longmen. He was also afraid that after returning to Longmen, Xiaota would have a new life, and he would finally become an inconspicuous passer-by in their lives.

"Long time no see, Chen." Chen Mo said softly: "It's really been a long time no see."

Chen didn't answer, as if he didn't hear Chen Mo's words.

But her fingers holding Chen Mo's shoulders were tightly grasped, and the wrinkled coat was tightly held in her palms.

After a moment, she suddenly pushed Chen Mo away.

The cold raindrops hit her face and flowed down her face. It was unclear whether it was rain or tears. Her eyes were cold and cold, as if she was looking at a stranger.

Sudden changes are like the elusive emotions in Chen's eyes.

"Ten years, do you think it's over now that you just say "Long time no see"?" Chen asked coldly.

"It's been almost ten years indeed, from the time I left Longmen to the time I see you here again."

"Why did you run away when you saw me just now!?"

"I just didn't know what to say." Chen Mo lowered his hand. "I didn't expect to meet you here."

"I didn't think about it because I didn't dare to face me." Chen said coldly, almost gritting her teeth. She looked directly into Chen Mo's eyes and clenched her fists.

Chen Mo's words seemed to reignite her anger.

Chen could think of some options that he took for granted but subconsciously wanted to avoid.

"Are you afraid of seeing me? Why do I disgust you so much that you have nothing to say to me!"

Chen Mo did have a lot to say to Chen, his experiences, or the things he encountered.

But how could Chen Mo tell this to Chen Mo? She had not experienced these darkness yet. Even if she believed what she said, how would she choose because of it.

Chen Mo was not a fox, and even a fox Chen Mo couldn't tell her this.

Because things that have passed, after that period of time, it no longer makes sense to speak out.

Ten years later, whether they like it or not, their lives have taken different paths. Chen Mo is already burdened with countless blood debts and an unspeakable past, and there will only be more in the future.

"What do you want to hear?" Chen Mo asked.

"I'm just trying to explain now, isn't it too late?"

"It's not an explanation. It's meaningless to talk about the past now."

"Whether it makes sense or not is not up to you!" Chen suddenly shouted coldly.

Chen Mo didn't answer. Chen stubbornly wanted a result.

She was silent for two seconds, looked at Chen Mo, and spoke again.

"Why did you leave in the first place?"

"Because there is something very important to do." Chen Mo said, he already had a plan.

Chen looked at him as if he wanted him to speak more clearly.

"I can't tell you what it is."

"Is it because of him!"

Chen's expression suddenly turned fierce.

"I don't know who you're talking about."

Of course he knew who Chen was referring to.

"You are lying to me. I knew it must be because of him. He gave you a choice, right? What did he promise you? A stable and prosperous life, a future without worries about food and clothing..."

Because he also asked Chen to make the same choice, but Chen did not choose the latter.

Chen Mo said nothing.

"Answer me!" Chen asked coldly.Maybe she already has the answer in her mind.

After several seconds, Chen Mo finally spoke.

"Yes, he gave me a choice and asked me to come to Victoria. He promised that I would grow up here safely and live the life I want." Chen Mo said: "You should be able to think of what I chose. You You're right, I don't dare to face you because I don't know how to face you, but I don't feel like I've done anything wrong, and I don't feel like I'm sorry for you in any way."

"Normal people know how to choose. Did I do something wrong?" Chen Mo asked: "No, I didn't do anything wrong. I just want to grow up safely and smoothly. You and I, and Tallulah, should we The same, we are born different, you don't have to think about how to live when you grow up, but I want to, I have to think about how to live in Longmen after leaving the orphanage, he gave me this opportunity, why don't I grab it live!"

Chen Mo said it so matter-of-factly. There was unbearability on his face, but Chen Mo didn't see any guilt at all.

"Just so you can..."

Just because of this, he abandoned Tallulah and abandoned the agreement between them.

Chen's eyes were like betrayal, so strange and cold, and filled with disappointment and resentment that could not be concealed. She looked at Chen Mo as if she was looking at someone who felt extremely strange to her.

"Ten years, ten years can change a lot of things, Chen Huijie." Chen Mo suddenly said: "If you want to hate me for this, then go ahead. I have never regretted my original choice."

"You selfish fool!"

Selfish?

But that is the choice that normal people should make. Who would risk their entire life for the sake of vain hopes.

Those who do this should be called fools.

Maybe in Chen Mo's eyes, this really became a kind of betrayal, an answer she couldn't accept. She had assumed countless times that if Chen Mo was still here, Xiaota would not have left, and they would not have become like each other. This is what it is now.

She knew that was a hypothesis, but she still couldn't help but harbor such fantasies.

But now the fantasy has been shattered. The idea at the beginning was false. Nothing is more desperate than this. The betrayal of the person in the imagination, the person whom I once trusted, is so difficult to accept. Caught off guard.

Chen even found it ridiculous. Those words were so ridiculous and shameful. She suddenly felt like a fool, a funny fool. The face in front of her became disgusting and disgusting to her.

She finally couldn't hold it back, couldn't hold back the anger caused by her youthful vigor and psychological inability to accept it.

Chen Mo didn't fight back.

Let Chen knock him to the ground, holding his hands to protect his head to defend himself from the fists that fell like raindrops under the heavy rain, letting Chen vent his grievances and anger over the years.

If this would make her feel better mentally.

Heavy rain fell on Chen Mo, and Chen Mo was surrounded by splashing rainwater. The cold water soaked his whole body. In the alley, it was just like the room on the third floor of the orphanage for many years, but this time Chen Mo didn't Keeping hands.

Finally, perhaps because he was too tired, or perhaps just because he was extremely disappointed, Chen stopped his fist in despair.

She looked up and stared at the gray misty sky, and the cold raindrops hit her face. At that moment, she seemed to have lost everything, and there was only a kind of endless hesitation and confusion left in her body.

Chen Mo's heart suddenly stung, and the spasmodic stings spread out from his heart, as if to tear his heart out with blood, but he could not say anything else.

Chen Mo couldn't tell Chen the truth about the matter, nor could he comfort her inner trauma. They both had to go through this stage, and then forget.

Only lies can hurt people, but only by forgetting someone can there be a new beginning.

It would be great if Kazdel didn't have to worry about him. No, even if Kazdel didn't worry about him, Yan and Longmen would come to them sooner or later.

He should not have looked forward to the future since the sin of Black Wall in his life.

ps: The changes in the Victoria chapter are relatively large. It was originally based on the fact that Theresia was dead and there were not many interactions. Later, there may be back-to-back stabbings.

Chapter 40 Nothing can’t be given up