Longmen Memoirs

Chen has already given me an answer, just like when Ms. Teresa asked her to persuade Tallulah when she was a child. I once again completed the task I was supposed to complete, but again, there was no joy in my heart.

Chen Mo is no longer the child in the orphanage, and he is no longer the child who can only lower his hands and watch her move away from me.

He put down his helmet and sat next to Chen.

Chen calmed down.

Chen Mo didn't remember how much they drank that day, but he vaguely remembered that at the beginning, they didn't say anything, there was no conversation, they just drank the wine from the glasses, like strangers.

Later, I slowly started to talk about things from my childhood, and then slowly started to talk about things that happened many years ago.

Some things Chen Mo couldn't remember clearly, but Chen Mo still remembered clearly. Some things Chen Mo didn't know about, but he heard them from Chen Mo's mouth.

"Remember that four-leaf clover? I went back once, and now the backyard is covered with a large number of four-leaf clovers."

"At that time, we searched all afternoon and only found two plants. I didn't remember until I went back later that I seemed to have forgotten yours." She said, "I originally wanted to find another one for you."

"found it?"

"Well, I kept it at home and thought of giving it to you on your birthday." Chen said, suddenly turning his head and looking at me: "No chance."

"There will be."

"where did you go?"

"There are many places, including Colombia, Letania, Bolivar, Sargon, Cazedales, and Rembilito. I have traveled more than half of the world in a winding way."

"There are so many places, what do you do in those places?"

"What else can I do? Thinking about it, I haven't done anything. I don't have time to stop and take a walk. I just go there in a hurry and come back in a hurry."

"That's not what you said last time." She suddenly opened her hand and sighed softly: "You said you were going back to Longmen last time."

"gone back?"

"Have you seen... Wei Yanwu?"

"I just found out that he is Wei Yanwu. That's okay. The Lord of the City doesn't have the time to see me."

"You haven't seen Tallulah either, right?"

"She is not in Longmen." Chen Mo said.

"Have you found it?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"real."

"Do you want to know where she went? What happened." Chen suddenly asked.

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"But you never tell the truth, never." Chen raised his index finger and shook it, put his hand on Chen Mo's shoulder, leaned over gently, and whispered in Chen Mo's ear: "I'm asking you Things, you messed up nine out of ten sentences."

"You're drunk, Chen."

Because what you ask is always on my mind. If you ask me what I will have for breakfast tomorrow, I will definitely be able to answer it without even thinking about it. I guarantee it will be the truth.

Chen grabbed Chen Mo's collar. The distance between them was only a few centimeters. He and Chen had never been as close as they were now.

"What else are you hiding from me?! You can't tell me the truth about those injuries on your body. You will only be happy if I force you to quarrel with you."

"..."

"What on earth is it!" She slowly grabbed Chen Mo's collar and approached him.

Those red eyes were blurred, making it difficult to tell whether Chen was drunk or not. But regardless of whether she was drunk or not, Chen Mo knew one thing very well, she would not let herself leave so easily.

This is also what I asked for.

Chen has always been a very smart person, otherwise he would not have graduated from the Royal Guards College with A+ grades in all subjects and the recommendation of all appointed instructors at the Royal Guards College, which is full of talents.

It was not difficult for Chen Mo to think that she had already guessed a lot of things. Even if he had not explained it to Chen, even if he was unwilling to tell Chen, she already knew it. All that was left was to hear the answer from Chen Mo's mouth.

"Is it important?"

"At least to me, it's very important."

"I've been infected with Originium Disease...for some years."

To Chen Mo's surprise, Chen Mo didn't easily let go of her hand on his collar because of his answer. On the contrary, she held on tighter. She grabbed Chen Mo's collar hand and suddenly hugged him from behind her shoulders. She stayed there, as if she was afraid that he would run away suddenly like last time.

Chen Mo's body suddenly stiffened due to her movements, and soon relaxed again.

"Aren't you afraid?"

"I must have suffered a lot over the years."

Chen lowered her head, and Chen Mo couldn't see her expression.

"...Not many." Chen Mo put down the wine glass he was holding on the bar. "Just a little, a little. It was quite difficult at the beginning. I couldn't understand the language and my origins were unknown. When I was 13 years old, I spent a period of time receiving relief with homeless beggars in Colombia. I had a full meal, a hungry meal, and fought with gangsters. I had sex, slept in a shopping mall building, and was chased by the police like a rabbit, but then I gradually got better and my life was pretty good."

In the few months before joining Black Steel, Chen Mo, who was unfamiliar with the place and spoke a different language and was still young, lived such a life. His body stinked unbelievably. The river water in autumn was too cold. He couldn't live on a hungry stomach. For example, when he went to attend an interview at Black Steel, the clothes he wore were borrowed, otherwise he wouldn't be able to get through the door, and he would have to avoid police inspections because he was an unregistered infected person. If discovered, the consequences would be different.

"I'm a person who can do well even if I'm alone. I've been here for many years and I'm not bad at this."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I think rather than becoming an infected person and alienating you, I would rather be a passerby who I haven't seen for a long time and will be forgotten gradually." Chen Mo said. "I have seen many scenes of people being broken due to Originium Disease over the years. I'm not sure..."

"That will make it easier for both of us to accept it. We don't have to blame ourselves. Chen, this is not your fault. You see, I am also very smooth in Colombia now, and my skills are no worse than yours. You must have been very tired these years." , but we still have to move forward, no one likes to be left behind."

No one will appear again to give you a chance to choose. I am very lucky, Chen, that I was not left behind by you. I wanted to follow you, so I followed.

"...I lost you, Chen Mo."

She raised her head and Chen Mo saw the tears in her eyes sliding down from in front of him uncontrollably and falling on his collar.

Chen Mo thought it would be warm, but in fact, it was very cold.

"I lost you all..."

Chen Mo could no longer answer Chen's words and could only let her hold him, as if he had found Chen who cried after accidentally losing his toy a long time ago.

It was also the only time Chen cried.

"it does not matter."

Chen Mo patted Chen's back gently and made another promise that could not be fulfilled:

"I'm back... Hui Jie."

Even though I was in a foreign country, even though I couldn't make it as promised.

It doesn’t matter anymore, it doesn’t matter, we are still alive, that’s good.

Please forgive me for leaving without saying goodbye, forgive me for being cautious, forgive me for not being able to tell you the many secrets hidden in my heart.

Hui Jie, I once had a memory in Longmen that has never been beautiful but is still worthy of my memory. You were there in that memory, and that memory has long been buried in the heavy years.

A person who doesn't mean what he says, every lie he tells was once the truth.

Chapter 53 Goudan: I can only help so much

Nowadays, it is difficult for Chen Mo to understand what it feels like to be drunk. He can empty his mind and say whatever he wants without any scruples, vent, or cry. Alcohol numbs the senses. [*

The experiment transformed his body, and what happened next catalyzed the closer integration of the Origin Stone and Chen Mo's body cells. The moment alcohol enters the body's blood circulation, it will be swallowed up by things hidden in the blood.

This is a good thing, to always keep a clear mind and stable thoughts, but sometimes it becomes a kind of torture, so Chen Mo can only look at the drunk Chen and imagine that he can be like her, even if he only has For a moment, there is nothing to worry about, nothing to care about.

...but he couldn't.

Chen stopped crying. Her catharsis passed quickly, leaving only slightly red and swollen eyes as if to prove her gaffe.

She hid in her heart the grievances that she couldn't tell others, the sadness that not many people cared about or understood. There was a heavy hurdle in her heart, and on the other side of it stood Tallulah, whom she let go of back then.

She could never forgive herself for her cowardice at that time, so much so that she later tried desperately to find her back.

She originally planned to keep her reluctance and guilt in her heart for the rest of her life, but when Chen Mo came back, she became another object of guilt for Chen Mo.

She is very kind, not so naive, but a little pure, which is a common problem among most young people. They value emotions and always look at the land they live in from a good perspective. Their thoughts are still a little childish.

Whether her feelings for Chen Mo were her past friends or sympathy for his current misery caused by her implication, even Chen herself might not be able to tell.

Love, liking, sympathy, nostalgia, and attachment to the past, perhaps mostly the latter. After all, they have not seen each other again for more than ten years, and Chen Mo himself knows that he and Chen have never had feelings similar to those between men and women.

Emotions in this man-eating land can be easily erased. Maybe it's just an accident, maybe it's just a tiny mistake. Everything will become insignificant with the passage of time.

If Chen Mo had not met Chen Mo in Londinium, if Chen Mo had not met Chen again, if she was not the young girl in the academy at this time, if Chen Mo had already set foot on the battlefield of Kazdale.

Then everything will not be like it is now, and this memory will leave a trace of nostalgia.

Chen Mo is a person full of darkness, but when facing Chen, he always has to give Chen some sunshine. If he blames Chen Huijie and resents her as a broom star who only brings disaster to others, then Chen Mo is too much. What a pity.

He talked about all his encounters in an understatement, and it seemed that he always encountered good things in his words. He always avoided the important and took the easy.

Chen didn't know how to speak.

She could only remain silent, not thinking about how she should ask him about his experiences over the years, sympathize with him, and gently tell Chen Mo how big a deal it was between friends.

What a big deal, Chen Mo, isn't it all over?

She's not an outsider, but that's not too mean, a little too shameless.

After all, Chen Huijie couldn't be so shameless. Silence was her last line.

But no matter how many words you say, no matter how many things have gone by, there will always be a time when they are finished. No matter how joyful the exercises are, they will still seem lonely when parting. I know that there is still a lot of reluctance in my heart, but I can't keep it, so the words gradually die out. Go.

Chen Wei lay on the table, staring at the amber liquid in the wine glass in front of her in a slightly drunken state, reflecting and shaking in her scarlet eyes.

But her left hand, which was placed under the bar, kept tugging on the corner of Chen Mo's clothes and never let go from the beginning to the end. Chen didn't say anything, but her childish movements showed her thoughts.

Maybe, she was really a little drunk, because only in this way, Chen Huijie could do things without any scruples that Wei Yanwu's niece could not do.

Chen Mo looked at Chen who was lying on the table and seemed to be lost in thought. He lowered his head and glanced at her fingers tugging at the corner of his clothes. Chen Mo's fingers were pressing down on the wine glass in front of the table.

There has to be someone who can speak for this parting, and when will the reunion be? Maybe there will never be a reunion again, Chen Mo suddenly thought.

【Do you regret it? 】

The bartender Feilin, who was looking at the two people in front of him, suddenly asked, with a familiar voice and a familiar face.

He looked at Chen beside Chen Mo, stretched out his index finger and frivolously crossed Chen's face, lifting up a stray strand of hair at her temples.

Chen Mo didn't speak.

Just looking around, time seemed to have stopped. A few people in the tavern were still doing their own things, as if they didn't notice anything strange here.

"How did you do it?" Chen Mo asked calmly.

[It’s just a small trick that can’t be put on the table. 】He was nonchalant, retracted his fingers, leaned on the edge of the bar, bowed and stared into Chen Mo's eyes.

"That is to say..."

"If you just come out and say these useless things...you think I can't do this, what will happen to me and what will happen to you."

[So I said, I have reconsidered your previous proposal. We could have cooperated. In fact, there is not much conflict between us. We can be "good friends" before getting my body back. 】

As he spoke, he turned his head and looked at Chen's face: [Poor young dragon, unable to distinguish her own feelings, trapped by the past and guilt. She must not know your plans. Are you planning to end the war in Kazdaele? After that, you used your own damn life to fulfill the Tower of Babel. You didn't want to survive, so naturally you didn't want to have anything to do with her anymore. 】

[Why don't you tell her, watchdog, tell her that you can't let go, tell her your current situation, and the threat that you may overthrow in this city at any time. Oh, by the way, you haven't told her yet. After this time, there is no possibility for you to reunite again. 】

"enough!"

[Have you talked about your pain points?You don't want to face it, why?Whose fault do you think it is that you are like this? ] He asked with a ferocious smile: [It's you. It's you who pretends to give people a ray of sunshine even though you're full of darkness. It's you who pushed yourself into this situation. It's you who retreats every time you should. He insisted on moving forward. 】

"I said, shut up!" Chen Mo shouted coldly.

The smile on His face became even brighter.

[Nothing can keep you, watchdog, your heart is as cold as iron now. You no longer have any relatives on this earth. The people who love you have all gone away. There is nothing that can keep you. is you. ] He turned to look at Chen and whispered: [This baby dragon can't do it, and neither can Xiaota, because you know that you are an infected person, you have no future, and your time is running out, who can go on with you? , so even if you die, no one will care...right?What do you think? 】

------

Pushing open the door of the tavern, the cold wind blowing in front of her made her deep thoughts calm down slightly. Chen Mo turned her head and looked at Chen Mo who was being supported by him. She shrank her neck slightly and exhaled.

"cold?"