Longmen Memoirs

ps: The stock market has reopened. Friends, a friendly reminder: If you are not careful when buying stocks, your loved ones will burst into tears.

Chapter 9 Dog and Fox

Chen Mo raised his head and stared at the pale light above his head, and a memory from many years ago suddenly emerged in his mind.

On the roof of the Longmen Administration Building, the sky was very gloomy that day.

The iron door on the roof was pushed open, and with the soft sound of the door, she saw the man standing by the building for the first time. The man was wearing a luxurious cloak, with fine black velvet and long hair tied into a ponytail. Fluttering with the strong wind on the roof.

He stared at the bustling city in front of him. He left here many years ago. He never thought that one day when he came back, he would stand at the top of the highest power center of Longmen and see the city from here. He suddenly realized that this city was so prosperous and prosperous, with countless streets and alleys, and invisible crowds of people. High walls surrounded the edge of the city, making it look like a huge prison standing in the air. Outside the wall was How many people rely on this wilderness to survive, and how many people are exhausted from running around in it for life.

It is both a prison and a shelter.

How small people are in this huge city, so small that they are insignificant, and so small that they are as numerous as an ox's feathers. He should be one of all living beings, and he should live peacefully in this cage.

"I've been waiting for you, fox cub." He did not turn around, and the wind carried his voice into the foxhound's ears.

The foxhound stopped and she looked at the man standing by the building, closed the iron door, and leaned against the wall next to the door.

Fox cub, such a strange name. How long has it been since I heard someone call me this nickname? It has been almost 20 years. Ever since I became a fox hound, I have forgotten that I have ever been called that. .

But how should I answer him? What should I call him? Chen Mo, Snake, Guinevere is still his current noble identity. It seems that in the blink of an eye, he has become another person again without paying attention.

He always surprises people like this.

"Stop it, Gouzi, before it's too late."

Is it too late? In fact, Foxhound knew very well that it might be too late. From the moment he saw this noble and strange man appearing in Longmen, Foxhound knew that everything was a foregone conclusion.

But she still couldn't help it. Maybe even she had a little fantasy that he could give up everything now and live incognito. She knew that he was not the kind of person who would be attached to power. His biggest wish in life was to be at peace. to survive.

But over the years, many things have gone against their expectations, and many things have exceeded their expectations. Just like no one expected that they would write letters at the beginning, the only person who contacted them has passed away.

Destiny is unpredictable, and one can never know what will happen next moment.

"We haven't seen each other for a few years. You are a lot more naive than before." He said.

"But you are still the same as before, stubborn and self-righteous." Foxhound replied, and she couldn't help but sarcastically said: "What? You are so proud of becoming the high-ranking King of Martial Arts."

"I have never stood at such a high position." He said: "Looking from here, this city is very small, so small that I can make it disappear in an instant with just a hand."

"The Dragon Gate is indeed a little too small. For you now, it is not easy to destroy it, but it is a pity that you will not do so."

"How do you know I can't?"

I am full of resentment towards this city, I hate everything here, I hate everything that has made my life so miserable, I hate it, I should hate it, Longmen, a city that eats people.

It made me what I am today, but it also made me survive.

"Why come back?" Foxhound said softly, but not in a questioning tone.

If you really want to destroy it, why would you come back? You won't do this. I know it very well, because no matter what Longmen has done to you, it will always be your home. It is you who appear alone and unexpectedly. The only nostalgia people have in this world.

Here are your memories, your past, and everything you care about.

"Actually, I really hope you can destroy it." The fox hound's gaze passed through the high-rise buildings and fell on the buildings lined with gantry gates. In the distance, there were tall buildings similar to the administrative buildings, iron towers, viaducts, bridges... She His eyes finally turned to the gloomy sky.

"But unfortunately, I know you won't do this, because they are also here, your daughter, Chen, and the person named Xingxiong, the wolf you brought back from Syracuse, the orphanage you have been to The shopping streets, the streets and alleys you walked through, and the ramp streets where you left your shadow. You have been a person who is nostalgic for the past since you were a child. Although you don’t want to admit it, there are indeed many innocent people living in Longmen. You will not destroy their present. You know very well what life is like, and I know very well what it’s like to lose your home.”

That night, we were lying in the simple wooden hut in the resettlement camp. You didn't cry out, but I could feel the warm liquid falling on my wrist while I was holding you.

"Did you cry that night? Think about it【*}

At least you and I now have the courage and qualifications to face life head-on. Even if fate still surrounds us and we don’t know where tomorrow will go, many people don’t care about tomorrow. It takes courage to live in the present.

Foxhound said it very easily, as if he was explaining a simple fact, even though he said he hoped to destroy the city, and later said that there were many wronged and miserable people in the world.

She has always been like this, making it difficult for people to distinguish her position. Perhaps, she had a clear position from the beginning. After knowing that he would not do this, she made a judgment, because even she herself did not realize that she had always been Follow the fox cub behind him.

"Maybe you're right." The man turned around. "This city can occasionally give people a little warmth and make people in a dilemma."

"Are you in a dilemma now?"

Foxhound said, she walked up to the man step by step, staring at the man's face, that familiar yet unfamiliar face, and the long black hair floating in the wind behind her: "Has your hair grown again?"

Maybe it's not just the black hair that has grown longer, but also his unpredictable thoughts.

"Well, I won't bother you this time, fox."

"Really?" Foxhound felt a trace of indescribable disappointment in his heart: "Won't you find it troublesome?"

"Good."

In the summer of that year, after he came to Longmen, he saw the old community houses in the Lower City and Upper Districts. Outside the community house was an external cement corridor, and outside the house was a wide roof. There was a window, and you could see when you opened it. Going to the roof, Foxhound planted a lot of flowers under the window. Some flowers she didn't even know the names of. Planting them there might be used that day.

In the sunny weather, chairs and hairdressing tools were placed on the roof covered with moss. Amidst the fragrance of flowers, clusters of hair fell to the ground with the scissors in her hand.

"Yes, the weather now is not suitable for haircuts." Foxhound quietly found a reason: "It's too windy on the roof."

The foxhound stood beside him. For some reason, she suddenly realized that he was much taller now than he was back then. Maybe it was just her own illusion, maybe it was just the gorgeous cloak he was wearing and the expensive Great Yan Royal Family. The decoration made him look majestic, but perhaps it was just that his black eyes lacked the wavering and hesitation that he could see every time.

She still remembered him when she first came to Longmen when she saw him in the tavern. He was not good at drinking but was extremely drunk. She carried him on her back for a long distance.

After walking on a dim road without street lights, he opened his eyes in confusion and called his name - fox cub?It had been a long time since I last saw him, and even though he woke up the next day he was still wary, hostile, and visibly alienated from the person who had been sent to monitor him.

That night, she rarely sat on a chair in front of the balcony and looked at the stars all night with an astronomical telescope she had never used before. She could still vaguely see the starry sky above her head in Longmen more than ten years ago. He once pointed at The stars in the sky told me that one, maybe two of them were my relatives.He told himself what that star represented and what constellation it was.

Later, he realized that he could only recognize the Big Dipper.

She heard that an astronomical telescope is the farthest thing that can be seen in the world, but for many years, even an astronomical telescope could not see Chen Mo leaving her, nor could she see the distance between her and him.

They once sat together on the dirt slope in the resettlement camp and looked up at the stars. Twenty years later, the starry sky was still the same, but the people looking at the stars were no longer the same people as before.

But even so, she didn't want to watch him die for two people who were indifferent to him.

Those eyes were no longer wavering and hesitant, making her strange and scared.She never told him that she regarded him as her only relative.

"I won't help you. No matter what you say, I won't help you this time!"

Foxhound spoke so firmly, as if leaving no room for rejection. She knew that he would ask her for something and needed her help, but no matter what it was, she decided that she would not help him anymore.

If she helped him, wouldn't it be like killing him with her own hands? She still wanted to save him, trying to make him give up this idea, even though she knew clearly that in his heart she was definitely not as good as those two people.

There are always many choices in life, which are not necessarily right or wrong, but only after making a choice can you know whether you are right or wrong.

But the cruelest thing in the world, and the simplest thing, is to meet the seemingly right person at the right place and at the right time. Unfortunately, fate caused them to miss the time of meeting, and also made her lose her choice. Opportunity.

Missing one time at some point in time is like missing a lifetime, but now that we have met, even if we don't hold hands, it is better than being a stranger for a lifetime.

"You will help me."

"You're out of your mind!" Foxhound's usually calm face showed rare irritation and anger: "You can't understand human language! Why should I help you? Why should I help you?!"

Facing her irritable and angry face, his next words left her speechless.

他 说:

"Because you are my relative, you are the first relative I found."

That day, I found you, you followed me, I taught you to write, helped you fight, let you learn how to live hypocritically in this world, taught you not to mean what you said, and taught you to wear a mask.

It was you who gave me the idea of ​​changing everything for the first time, and it was you who made me feel that I was not alone, even though we were far apart later, even though we were so far away from each other before I had time to say goodbye.

"You think I will believe your lies!" She sneered. "I'm going to kill her right now and tell her everything, you know I can do it, I can do it, I'm going to do it."

"You won't, Fox. I know who you are. I did all this with great difficulty. You won't just watch me return without success."

"That's better than watching you die!" Foxhound asked angrily. She hated how he acted as if he had seen through her:

"You have worked hard to get to where you are now, how could it, how could it end like this, just for two people who are indifferent to you! I don't care who you are now! It's not worth it, I won't allow it! When will you Only then can you think about yourself. You haven’t suffered enough over the years and it’s not painful enough, right? Ah! Chen Mo..."

"But you can't deny that this is the best way I can think of." He said:

"She won't last long. I can foresee that the gathering of infected people will soon make her exhausted due to internal and external troubles. She will watch her years of accumulation destroyed in one day, and will eventually be ostracized, alienated, hostile, and betrayed. , everything will fall apart. She will need a war to establish a new image for her and block the covetous people from the Ursus Empire. Fox, to change a person, you have to make her believe it, make her believe it, and then put her Faith is destroyed, nothing can save such a loser, but to save a person, you must make her believe, and then correct her faith, so that she can see that everything she has done is not in vain, let her touch victory, and let her She listens to the cheers for her, and amidst the roar of the mountains and the tsunami, she will understand that she is not alone, and she has nowhere to go."

He stared at the dense and low looming sky above Longmen, and there seemed to be faint thunder. The thunder light illuminated the side of his face, and he slowly showed a smile in the wind and light.

He seemed to be able to see the scene he had imagined when he was very young. She could stand alone in the storm. Under the lightning and thunder, she no longer needed her company. There were many people behind her.

He was really happy for her, even if he became a monster who could only kill people in her eyes, he was a monster from the moment he was created. Monsters have no home and should not have so-called relatives.

"Fox, I can do the former, and Chen and Longmen can do the latter." He said: "I never thought about becoming King Wu, to hold power and control the life and death of others, but this is my destiny, destiny Let me choose to become King Wu, at least I can choose what to do after becoming King Wu."

"Someone told me a long time ago that I can't decide where I am born, but I can decide who I am. I am not born ruthless, nor am I born selfish."

"I promised her that I would accompany her every Christmas, every New Year's Eve, every spring, summer, autumn and winter, every sunrise and sunset. We would go to every place she wanted to go, including Colombia. , went to Dayan, went to Victoria, and took Chen Ye with me, but for so many years, I was the only one who hurriedly walked through these places."

"Come in a hurry, go in a hurry."

"She asked me why I was so nice to her, how could she be so lucky because she found me."

"I also told you the story I told her, the fox, the monkey in the story. She also wanted to be a monkey in the past, to become the Monkey King. She asked me: If one day, she wants to cause trouble in the Heavenly Palace, Will I accompany her?"

"I said no. She was very disappointed. The Havoc in the Heavenly Palace is a story that belongs to one person. I originally thought that the Heavenly Palace was a dragon gate, so I was willing to be her little demon carrying the flag. But one day, the Heavenly Palace became Ursus. . I won’t carry the flag anymore, and she can’t become a monkey, but I still have a choice.”

The foxhound listened quietly to him.

"Are you really an idiot?" Foxhound cursed in a low voice.

"It's quite silly. I accepted my fate, but at least I still have a choice this time. Are you willing to let me go?" He smiled and pinched her face, as if he had been there the day they left the resettlement camp for the first time. Said the same thing.

But he was no longer the little fox cub in the resettlement camp. He still did this, but he couldn't muster the courage to spread his hand away, nor could he bear the cold and warm touch of his fingertips, so that he could know that he Still alive.

What is he to himself?Relatives, brothers, or maybe he has inexplicable feelings for him. Maybe he loves him and he knows it, but he has regarded himself as a boy for too long.

"You should be happy for me, fox cub."

"She's going to hate you, they're going to hate you, and you're going to get nothing in the end."

"If she wants to hate me, let her hate me. Hate can take her further than love, and time will dilute all memories."

I'm ready to let go, as I should have been years ago.

"Including me... right?" She pursed her lips, trying not to let him hear the cowardice in her voice.

"You'll remember me, won't you? Fox cub."

"You..." Foxhound fell silent. She knew that she could no longer stop him or replace him. After a long time, she said softly: "...I can't die. I beg you."

"I won't die, I promise." He said, taking out a pack of crumpled cigarettes from his bag, flames rising on his fingertips, holding two cigarettes in his mouth and sharing one to himself.

Just as she had done when they first met, she also learned to smoke.

What's funny is that even though he has become so noble now, he still smokes such cheap stuff.

"Don't you care?" he asked with a smile.

Foxhound took the cigarette and put it in his mouth, blowing out a puff of smoke.

Dry and nostalgic.

He didn't seem to have changed, but he seemed to have changed.

Later, she watched the tired and hurried Chen leave the docking layer sealing port. She held the remote control of the sealing layer in her hand, but did not press it for a long time. She could stop Chen at that moment, even though she had always been behind her departure. .

Later, she had been the superintendent of Longmen, lost the opportunity for promotion, and was squeezed out of the power hierarchy.

Later, she watched Chen come back and howl heart-breakingly in the heavy rain.

She didn't cry, she just felt sad and something was missing in her heart. She held a tattered umbrella and quietly lit two cigarettes, putting one in her mouth and inserting the other into the soil.

she knows.

He can't come back.

His guarantee never came into effect.

But if this is his wish.

Chapter 10 Because of Love

Ansuo felt innocent. Although all this was caused by her inability to control her hands, she still felt innocent.

What was wrong with her stealing things without realizing it? Of course she knew it was wrong, but what could she do?Take away the clothes hanging outside the window, take away the apples and steamed buns from the vendors, and in the end you can easily take away other people's wallets.

From small to large, from less to more.

Stealing has almost become a habit for her, and sometimes she will even subconsciously take other people's things, but there is no way, this is how she grew up, otherwise she would have starved to death.

It is difficult for an infected person like her to find a normal job in Longmen. It is common to live a life without a meal. Who wouldn’t want to live a serious life if they have the choice, but there is no way, people always have to Surrendered to her body, hungry and cold, she didn't want to steal, nor did she want to be caught and beaten to death while stealing, but if she didn't do this, she wouldn't be alive now.