Longmen Memoirs

Amiya suddenly felt that her heart was blocked. She turned her head and looked at the doctor beside her. Something was about to flow out of her eyes. Amiya reached out and wiped the corners of her eyes.

"Don't feel pitiful, Amiya, he hates others pity him most." The doctor did not turn his head, he tightened his hands: "Tears are the most useless thing, you should not let them flow out easily."

"I know...I just...don't know why I feel so bad." Amiya choked back with sobs.

The doctor was not surprised.

Amiya should remember him, the memory that belongs to Amiya.

"Only this time, cry, Amiya, I'm here."

"No, I won't cry anymore, Doctor." Amiya wiped the red corners of her eyes vigorously. "Doctor, please tell me, I want to know what he is afraid of?"

The doctor was silent for two seconds and replied softly:

"... He is afraid that his appearance cannot change anything. He is afraid that he will repeat the same mistakes again, and he is afraid that he will become another person in his memories."

"Then has he changed?"

"No." The doctor was sure.

"Doctor, I heard that you, Dr. Kelsey and His Highness have all mentioned him." Amiya glanced at her neck and the necklace hidden under her collar: "Who... is he?"

"You know him, Amiya" replied the Doctor. "He was the first and last Lord of Kazdaele's Court."

"Li...ting..."

Amiya seemed to have heard of this name there. She was stunned, and then quickly remembered the name. When looking up the past historical records of the Rhode Island, Amiya saw this name and asked Kelushi I asked about it.

"The Chief Judge..." Amiya said uncertainly: "Didn't he die on the battlefield in the royal capital?"

"Kazdale needs his death, Amiya, can you understand." The doctor said: "He killed too many nobles and lords of Kazdaele. In order to win, the blood stained a long list of Kazdaele. There is no room for a butcher's knife hanging above your head, and His Highness's rule should be peaceful, just as we promised at the beginning."

In this bloody political game, everyone is a pawn in the overall game, including the doctor himself.

"But doctor, don't you..." Amiya couldn't say the next words, and she loosened her hold on the doctor's hand.

"I know what you want to say, Amiya. Yes, this is an undeniable fact. Those people's guesses are correct. It was me who planned everything, and he did it, so I need to die too."

The doctor spoke calmly, as if he was talking about another insignificant matter, but Amiya could think of the cruelty of the mountains of corpses and rivers of blood behind her.

Victory, Kazdaele's victory, the long civil war ended in the hands of the man in front of him.He is the trigger of the conspiracy, the executioner, butcher, murderer, and villain behind it.

But he is also a doctor, a doctor he trusts, a doctor who accompanies him.

Amiya remembered what the doctor had asked her before and asked herself if she believed him?

"I believe in the Doctor... No matter what the Doctor has done before, the Doctor I know is a gentle man who treats me like a father, so I believe in the Doctor and always... always believe in him."

This sentence seems to be firmer than anything else, unquestionable, and the best answer.

[You never trust anyone, you are shady, that’s right. For people like us, who dares to trust anyone easily? 】

He said this so casually.

It seemed like no one ever really trusted him.

Whether it was His Highness, Kelsey, himself, or what he said, Victoria's wildcat, Chen Huijie who stayed in Longmen, and the leader of the integration movement in Ursus.

No one has ever truly trusted him without reservation.

Because he is always lying. If he tells too many lies, no one will believe him anymore.

He brought the blame on himself, so in the end, he could only find himself, a guy who he clearly understood that he didn't trust anyone, and entrust everything to his own hands.

He has nowhere to go.

The doctor was stunned. After a long time, he breathed out softly.

"...Thank you, Amiya, your trust is my life [{

Chapter 49 Betrayer ([-])

[When you meet the things you want to protect, your life no longer belongs to you, they will become your weakness and your fatality.Let you no longer be fearless, you will lose a lot, and you may even choose to give up for them.

A lot of people call this weakness, but it's not.

True courage is not the absence of fear, but moving forward despite fear.

One day, what you protect will protect you in turn, and all you have to do is... wait.

But the wait is too long, and there is never another chance in life. 】

--------

Chernobog Core Control Tower, May 1097, 5, Crystal Era

White stockings wrapped her slender thighs, and the soles of her high heels made a crisp sound when they hit the marble floor.

The door to the city lord's office was gently pushed open.

The white-haired deer saw the young leader sitting on the wicker chair on the balcony at the top of the command tower.

The sun fell on her long shawl silver hair, emitting dazzling light. Rose vines spread on the edge of the balcony. Her hands were resting on the armrests of the wicker chair, her legs were slightly raised, and she looked like a woman from behind. An old man who is approaching his twilight years.

She closed her eyes, and there was a slight sound of breathing in Alina's ears along with the rustle of the warm wind blowing the gauze curtains.

Alina picked up the coat that the woman had placed on the sofa. There were red armbands tied to the cuffs of the coat. She walked behind Tallulah, and Alina saw the white candy wrapper held between the fingers of the woman's left hand.

She stopped trying to put a coat on Tallulah, and her eyes fell on the scarlet armbands on the coat, and then on the wrapping paper at her fingertips.

Two unrelated things seemed to confirm her life.

She likes sweetness, but she has suffered a lifetime of hardship in her best years.

Tallulah was not asleep.

Tallulah opened her eyes slightly, and her keen senses made her aware that someone was standing behind her. She called out: "Alina?"

"I'm here." Alina replied softly.

"Did I fall asleep..."

"You need to rest, leader, you are too tired." Alina comforted softly: "You are forcing yourself."

"The Patriot just came here, and he told you the same thing." Tallulah smiled: "Don't worry, I know my own body very well, I won't fall down."

"Mr. Patriot has been here too?"

"Well, he came to report to me on the progress of the army training, remember? Ino and Sasha, by the way..." Tallulah raised her lips: "Now they should be called Faust and Mephistopheles."

"It's been a while since I've seen them. I remember they were always together."

Tallulah had some pride on her face.

"They are now the captains of two teams."

"You look happy."

"This is something to be happy about, Alina. Seeing them is like seeing our future."

"Okay, let's talk about your investigation." Tallulah said: "Has the cooperation agreement with Rhode Island been drawn up?"

"Yes, the business agreement between us and Rhode Island has been basically completed. Frost Star, as the liaison officer, has now gone to their ship parked outside the city in accordance with the terms of the agreement. The scheduled supplies were also completed two hours ago. Transfer and rationing." Alina said: "The Rhode Island is expected to leave Chernobog at nine o'clock tomorrow."

"I understand." Tallulah nodded: "Have you investigated clearly what their people did after leaving the hotel?"

"The intelligence department and the comrades in charge of the investigation reported that the people from Rhode Island made a large circle in Chernobog after leaving the hotel, and their final destination was an abandoned research institute in the East District. It is said that the place was originally It is a new type of energy secretly built by the previous city lord [-

"Abandoned research institute?" Tallulah pondered for two seconds and asked, "Why did they go there?"

"The specific reason is unknown." Alina said: "But they brought out a person from there, a former high-level Rhode Island official they called Doctor."

"Doctor?" Tallulah frowned, this title was unfamiliar to her.

"Yes, Doctor. That's what they call that person. It can be seen that they have deep trust in this person named Doctor. Moreover, he gives me a familiar and dangerous feeling." Alina hesitated. Moment: "Tallulah... Froststar said she had seen this man before, in Kazdaele."

Tallulah suddenly became quiet and did not answer for a long time.

In the early spring of 1093, someone brought the covenant of the Integration Movement to Kazdaele and Victoria to seek assistance. He fulfilled his promise and brought back what they needed most without anyone having high hopes.

At that time, the people who served as guards and followers were Frost Stars.

However, all these achievements were pushed to Tallulah to consolidate her authority as a leader. Few people remembered what he had done, what he had brought to them, and what he had lost.

Alina saw Tallulah's fingers gently rubbing the wrapping paper between her right fingertips.

Alina clearly remembers that it was just dawn that day, and the snow had not melted in the spring. When she woke up, she was freezing to the bone. She could hear the cry of winter feathers in the forest everywhere, and the eaves of the thatched house were covered with ice.

He walked in from the entrance of the village, wearing a black cloak that was frozen by ice and covered with frost. Everyone thought that a stranger had come to the village, because behind him stood the familiar Frost Star, so no one cared about this new man. infected people seeking asylum.

Until he reached Tallulah's cabin.

Tallulah, who was discussing the march plan with the Patriot, saw him at the window, so she stopped everything she was doing. That was the first time Tallulah stopped for someone. They looked at each other outside the house for a long time, After he lifted his hood, Alina seemed to see a stranger.

The weather-stained face has become much thinner and is full of traces of wind, frost and sand.

He regretfully told Tallulah that the candy she gave Froststar to prepare for herself was gone on the way back.

He liked the candies made by Tallulah very much. When he was tired, he would always ask for one from Froststar and put it in his mouth.

This is a secret that only they know.And later Alina also found out.

In that orphanage, Tallulah stole his candy.Later she gave herself a lot.

That same day, after they entered the house, by the fire, Tallulah peeled off a candy and stuffed it into his mouth, and he smiled, even happier than when he took back the two covenant books.

That was the first time Alina saw a smile on his face. To be honest, that face looked ugly when he smiled.

"Tallulah..."

Alina's voice awakened Tallulah, who was lost in thought.

"Well... I'm fine."

Tallulah sat in front of the wicker chair with Alina on her back. Alina failed to see the dimmed eyes. Tallulah waved her hand to indicate that she was fine.

Alina couldn't say anything else. She didn't know where she could stand now to judge who was right and who was wrong.

"Alina, don't forget what he has done! He killed our compatriots, attracted the cruel executioners of Ursus, and dyed their blades red with the blood of innocents. He is a betrayer... even if he is Even if he dies, he will never be able to cover up the evil deeds he committed."

Tallulah's hands tightened on the armrest, and every word she spoke seemed to be warning herself.

"Forget him, Alina."

Forget him, Tallulah, forget him, and remember what you should do.

Forget him?

Alina suddenly felt that Tallulah who said these words was so pitiful. She was deceiving herself and others and was tortured at the same time.

She recalled the quarrel between Tallulah and the Patriots several years ago. At that time, Bozhuo Kasti had not fully recognized the young leader, thinking that she was young, naive, ideal, fragile, not firm enough, and that she was not suitable. Become a leader because she is not ruthless enough, because she is soft-hearted.

She is not qualified enough to bear the killing, nor is she qualified enough to bear the sacrifices brought about by change.

Like Frost Star, she is a young idealist. They have not experienced much reality. They do not yet understand what they are doing. They think that they have experienced the hardships of the world.

Displaced and helpless.

They have only seen Ursus, but they have not seen the long wanderings and civil wars of Kazdaele, nor the closed rule of Victoria, nor the human experiments in Colombia, nor the massacre of Letania, nor the experience. Having lived through the war, I have never felt the despair and cruelty of this world, nor have I lost my precious things. I have never seen with my own eyes the life that I care about passing away in my arms, the child who was hanged on the top of a tree, or the deserted city.

They have hope for the future.

Being young is a good thing, but being young without being exposed to wind and rain, and being exposed to sun and frost is also a bad thing.

Tallulah was not prepared for that. She was unable to give due punishment to those who were greedy for immediate benefits. She was unable to regard human life as a victim and could not weigh the value of life.

Bozokasti would not leave the lives of the guerrillas and the Wendigo team in the hands of a person who talks about ideals and unrealism.

But then, one day, the patriot agreed with Tallulah's path. He could not deny that kindness is an essential quality of every great leader. He also could not deny that he had agreed with Tallulah's approach from the bottom of his heart. , no one cares about the person who dies in his hands, and no one is born to be an executioner.

But the situation of the integration movement did not allow Tallulah to do this.

She is just lucky enough that there are people who are willing to help her do things that she is unwilling to do, people who are willing to help her maintain her glorious image, and people who are willing to light the fire for her ideals.

"There are people who can do better than Tallulah, but they won't be as lucky as she is. 】This is what the patriot said to Alina.

Alina opened her mouth, but in the end nothing came out.

She actually wanted to tell Tallulah everything, but even if Tallulah knew it at this time, what would be the use? What she lost would never come back, and she would get nothing except pain and regret, and she might even get hurt from it. Blame yourself and doubt your own path.

That's not what he wants, and it's not what Alina wants to see.

Everything in the past will be settled. There will never be another chance in life, nor will it give people more choices.