Longmen Memoirs

Footsteps sounded from Zuo Che, and at the same time there was the familiar and cold voice of a girl.

"You trust her?"

w didn't smile anymore, his red pupils stared at the figure standing in front of the door, the strap of the gun hanging slanted beside his thigh, and there was a rare seriousness in those eyes, perhaps with a little curiosity and confusion.

"I never believed her."

Chen Mo turned his head and looked at the girl who was walking lightly on the puddle. The horns of Sakaz's logo and the hard-soled military boots stepped through the puddles, and the ripples blurred her figure.

"I heard her say that you have known each other since childhood, but it seems that she was not telling the truth, but this is exactly the same as you."

w clasped her hands behind her back and stopped two meters away from Chen Mo. Behind her were rising walls on both sides, and a building in the distance overlooking this dark and messy alley.

There was no extra light, and she was used to hiding herself in the shadows of buildings, just like every mercenary who had ever set foot on the battlefield who felt inexplicably at ease when rolling in the thick smoke rising from smoke bombs.

"What kind of person do you think she is? Let me tell you a story." Chen Mo turned around and said:

"The protagonist of the story is a boy, an unfortunate boy. He lost his parents in a disaster when he was six years old. The city police took him to a resettlement camp, where he met his first friend, another He is the same kid, but the difference is that the boy is a little clever. This little cleverness allows him to live well alone in the resettlement camp. But the other kid is different. She is miserable, but she is stubborn. Maybe it's because of kindness, or maybe it's because of other insignificant things, boredom, loneliness. The boy approached Xiaogui when she was helpless, and successfully made her think that he and he were the same kind of person, making Xiaogui Dependence is created.”

"But you know, they will leave the resettlement camp one day, and their life in the resettlement camp is not happy. The boy is eager to leave. In his heart, the kid is just a kid, a stranger he met casually. After she is no longer needed, the boy can kick her away without any burden, and of course he did so." Chen Mo's voice paused: "But the kid is different, because she is a kid, so she always remembers the boy, Then comes the search, the long search.”

"More than ten years later, one day, the kid finally found the boy, but the boy at that time was no longer the boy in her memory. The kid was not important to him, it was just that the kid thought he was important, so he seemed important. "

Chen Mo looked at W's figure hidden in the shadows and looked away.

"They have experienced a lot of things together, right and wrong. Facts have proved that the two of them have become different when they grow up. They don't have to huddle in a cold and small wooden house in the resettlement camp and worry about what they will do tomorrow. There is no need to worry about their future lives. They have grown up and become strangers to each other. The kid has become a liar who loves to lie, and the boy has become a cold-blooded murderer. Neither of them has become what they want to be. look like."

"That boy is selfish, selfish and self-interested. The kid knows that she is the stone he kicked away when he was a child, but the kid is still so stupid. Maybe she has become smarter, but in the eyes of the boy, she is still so stupid. You are so stupid that you clearly know what the boy is thinking, but you pretend not to know, as if you really don’t know.”

Chen Mo slowly lowered his head and looked at his reflection in the puddle.

"When she was little, I told her that if she wanted to live, she had to learn to tell lies. She didn't remember anything but this sentence. She learned it very well."

wThe figure clapping his hands slowly walked out of the shadows and walked to Chen Mo's side.

"It's a very interesting story. When I think about it, even I feel worthless and angry for the kid in the story. He is really stupid. There is probably nothing more unlucky than this in the world to meet someone like you." But then again, you are so sure that she will not betray you..."

She is still wary and distrustful of everything around her.

"Will you betray Theresia?" Chen Mo asked back.

W was silent for two seconds.

"You picked the wrong question..."

Her rebuttal was so far-fetched.

"You want to say that she is different, right? W, in the eyes of every Sakaz, she is different. You will not betray her, but it does not mean that others will not betray her. People who are not Sakaz will not. , Moreover, there are countless disputes and conflicts even among Sakaz."

"This kind of twisted truth is really in line with your style, you... betrayer!"

The last three words seem to be deeply engraved in my heart.

"Because people's hearts are fickle." Chen Mo sighed: "I can't be sure whether the fox will betray me, so I never dare to say that I will have absolute trust in her."

"Heh, it sounds like you have trusted someone. No, it's even weirder that you would trust someone else."

w raised his eyebrows and sneered softly, with a visible sneer at the corner of his mouth.

"Trust is a very precious thing, but it is often fatal. It will become your weakness. Once you choose someone to trust without reservation, your life is no longer in your hands."

"Can I take these words as your defense...Is this why you chose to be a traitor in the first place?"

w asked with a smile, but that smile looked full of hypocrisy and disdain.

"You know better than anyone else, don't you?"

Chen Mo lifted his steps and walked out of the alley, with the Sakaz woman falling behind him.

"The prerequisite for betrayal is to be given enough trust and pay a high price. I have never betrayed anyone."

The smile on her face suddenly froze and became uncertain, and her finger was on the trigger several times.

"I know you have thought about killing me countless times, but you can't... Instead of being so entangled, why not let yourself choose to indulge for once. I remember you said that respecting personal desires is a very important thing." Chen Mo's The words suddenly stopped, and he turned his head and looked back at Sakaz, who was a few steps behind him: "Which one of you is the real you, or the you in other people's impressions? W."

"Hahaha——" W was stunned for a moment, and a bright smile suddenly broke out on his tense face. The smile stopped abruptly, and his red eyes stared at me: "Is this really ridiculous? Do you want to say I am deliberately pretending this, but am I actually a good person? Are you... kidding me?"

"Human nature yearns for beauty, and at least trying to be like someone is not bad, because we all know that we can't do it ourselves, but we don't hate others doing it." Chen Mo said: "You hate me, hate me, Because I committed an unforgivable sin against Kazdaele, and because you witnessed those gentle and kind people gradually dying in my hands and in front of you."

Chen Mo calmly faced the gun that could take away his life in an instant, and the other person's face that looked ferocious and twisted due to excessive anger.

"But I, who have done all this, can choose to live peacefully. You will be angry, you will be confused, you will be unwilling... I was also like you."

Her hands were surprisingly steady.

"Are you trying to anger me? Congratulations, you succeeded. The reward may be a bomb. Are you surprised?"

Her face is like the ever-changing weather

"I tell you this to avoid possible accidents in the future, the accidents you are good at." Chen Mo said: "As you think, if I die, we can live in peace, but unfortunately, I am still alive .”

"Then I'm really happy that you're still alive. I'm so happy that I can't help but want to kill you, because in this way, I don't have to look at your disgusting face and listen to those ridiculous things you say."

"We all have blood on our hands, w. People like us deserve to die and don't deserve to live in this world. But in fact, we survived, and some even lived better."

w didn't refute, she just lowered her weapon slightly and pursed her thin lips tightly.

"what do you want to say in the end……"

"The world is like this. It doesn't show mercy because of kindness, and it doesn't punish because of ugliness. Because it is in a high position, it has nothing to do with the world, but because it is of low origin, it is like floating dust."

Chen Mo said slowly, and the towering ring bridge of Longmen came into view in the distance: "But some people say that this is wrong, it shouldn't be like this, there are always people who want to break the thousands of years of conventions, and they hit their heads and were bleeding. , there are always people trying to end hundreds of years of endless disputes, and they are desperate. There are always people trying to change the world, to change the constant gaze in people's eyes, to push away the mountains of prejudice, and to lift the fig leaf that has been used for thousands of years. They are a group of people. The idealists in our eyes, many of them know they can’t do it, they are too naive, but they never give up.”

Chen Mo turned his back, holding the leather bag with the police badge in it, and turned his back to the young and familiar Sakaz.

"Do you know why?"

It's a pity that W didn't ask further questions, but quietly stared at Chen Mo's back.

Chen Mo raised his feet and left the dark alley.

"Because no one would think that they should be a bad person when they are born."

At the same time, inside the Rhode Island ship island.

"Did I do something wrong? Doctor, but Miss Shuangxing, this matter has nothing to do with Miss Shuangxing. She is innocent."

Amiya lowered her head, looking a little depressed.

"Before I answer your question, I have a question for you, Amiya." The doctor asked: "Have you ever dreamed of becoming someone like His Highness?"

"Doctor, I..."

"You just have to answer."

"Ah."

"why?"

"Because His Highness is great."

"Your Highness is never great, Amiya. Greatness will only stay in the eyes of others and at your own feet. Because we are human beings, we will make mistakes. Sometimes the price of mistakes will be very expensive and cannot be paid, but sometimes mistakes are actually not There’s no way around it.”

The doctor gently touched Amiya's head, as if the person who shrank in front of Kelsey before was not him.

"You are the decision-maker, Amiya, but you are also human, and no one is right all the time."

Chapter 74 You are great in the eyes of others

[I have longed to be one of them countless times, and I have prayed countless times. If God can hear my voice, I hope that he can give me a tiny bit of mercy when he touches the strings of fate. Give me the courage to complete this not-so-long journey. 】

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Chen Mo walked through the alley without looking back, but he could clearly feel his increasingly violent heartbeat, which made his body and brain tense up.

There was no familiar sound of breaking the air behind him. Chen Mo didn't think that his broken body of flesh and blood could withstand the flames sprayed from the muzzle. It would tear him apart the moment before it was about to die, and with that madness The sneer unique to a mean woman.

Chen Mo was fortunate that her words might have had some effect, or maybe it was the insignificant relationship between him and her in the past that made her decide to let herself live at this moment.

Those words sounded like a last resort but high-sounding excuse. If used on others, it would not cause even the slightest disturbance, but it was perfect when used on this former Sakaz mercenary.

She and Chen Mo were both people who had gone through that war.

So she couldn't deny that people like them always deserved death, but the paradox was that even though they hated what they did and everything about themselves countless times in their hearts, they still couldn't let go of their thirst for life and kept repeating Doing a job that you are already familiar with.

If killing could be considered a job.

As Chen Mo said, she is a kind person at heart, but she is unwilling to admit it after all. No one is willing to admit that she can be kind. This word is too ironic, especially for people like them with bloody hands, like It's as ridiculous as a big joke.

People who yearn for light will always step into the darkness with one foot inadvertently. Some people are still walking forward, while others leave themselves in the gap between light and darkness. They stretch out their hands, but then shrink back timidly without realizing it.

The long-term civil strife in Kazdare has created this contradictory fact. The long-term war and chaos make people insane and exhausted at the same time, but even so, they still have to save a breath to warn themselves.

If you want to live, you must live no matter what.

As a result, kindness gradually became an annoying thing, and it became synonymous with weakness. People disguised themselves and deliberately became ruthless and cold, as if only in this way can they become a part of the war. Only then do we have a chance to survive in this indifferent and terrible world.

w reminded Chen Mo of the black wall. In that high wall without light and temperature, kindness was like this and became a ridiculous word.

Chen Mo may never forget that kind man, but it was a stupid and naive guy like him who made the numb Chen Mo wake up. But when Chen Mo woke up, he died in Chen Mo's hands.

052 is a complete idiot and coward. He dare not face it, struggle, kill people, or do too many evil things. But only in this way can we survive.

Is he kind?

What is the value of such kindness if it means death?

Chen Mo didn't know that he couldn't evaluate 052's actions, nor was he qualified to judge whether he was right or wrong, because he was a dead person, and there was no need for a living person to think about what a dead person wanted to think.

But it was him, a dead man, who had the courage that Chen Mo longed for but gave up on.

The sky in Longmen was overcast, and there was a slight chill in the air and wind after the light rain. The car splashed water on the roadside, and the scarlet taillights disappeared at the end of the street in the mist.

Clouds and mist cover the distant mountain peaks. The city is moving slowly, walking day after day on a specially planned route.

It was still early, and it would take a long time to wait until the time agreed with the fox.

Chen Mo came to the door of the cake shop on Fifth Avenue. The sign indicating that the exhibition hall was open was hanging at the door. He secretly thought that this little thief who liked to fish and hang out had gone somewhere. Chen Mo could not see her, nor could he see her. Xiao Mo with her.

Suddenly it seemed like he was back when he first returned to Longmen.

The streets are full of people.

The folded umbrella, raindrops falling down little by little along the edge, occasionally heard the sound of car horns, drones flew lightly across the oppressive and gloomy sky, and the diffuse lights of various billboards converged together.

After taking out the phone, he didn't think about who to call, so he had to put the phone back in the bag angrily.

Wandering aimlessly on the streets of Longmen.

Walking through familiar streets, passing by pedestrians, sometimes seeing a few students, sometimes stopping in front of street artists' stalls, Longmen's songs always carry a unique melancholy.

Maybe it was because of the language that it made people feel familiar and nostalgic. Then I touched my pockets and was embarrassed that I couldn't find a suitable coin. I could only give the cheapest smile and then reluctantly squeezed through the crowd and left.

The uniforms of the patrolling street police and the Guards Bureau have changed somewhat in the past ten years. The armor and information-type helmets covering the outside can save a lot of unnecessary effort, but Chen Mo still misses the figure who carried him out of the ruins. .

Just because that was the scenery he was used to seeing when he was a child.

When Ji Zu was at the door of the convenience store, he suddenly remembered that he seemed to have forgotten to ask the fox a very important question. After the call was made, it seemed that the other party had already known that Chen Mo would call.

"What?" Fox's voice was a little hasty.

"I remembered that I forgot to ask you something."

"Oh? Is it salary?"

It was a little embarrassing, but it was the fox who spoke. After hesitating for a while, he remembered that the fox was now his boss. When working for the government, he naturally had to be organized.

"I don't have a penny in my bag right now."

"Where are you?"

He looked up at the street signs.

"Central Bronze Bell, straight to Sheng Road."

"Don't tell me you walked over."

Silently unable to answer, the person there suddenly sighed softly, as if holding the phone to his ear, and heard the sound of turning documents, and then the noisy busyness, and vaguely seemed to hear several people from Luotizhou in the docking area. The words were followed by Chen's voice, she was giving instructions.

"Are you in a meeting?"

So of course I asked.