Three Philosophical Questions for Travelers

"Thank you for traveling so far to attend my father's funeral," he said as he stood up, and when he stood up, his huge body looked even more terrifying, "Miss Laya, on behalf of the Kahn family, I would like to extend my sincere respect to you Sincere thanks."

The little trident walked towards Laya.He had thick hair on his face, his fluffy beard and hair were black and shiny, and his huge body was wrapped in a black robe. Looking at it this way, the little trident looked like a ferocious giant bear.Seeing him approaching, Laya couldn't help but want to step back.

Laya lowered her head and said, "This is the duty of a subject, my lord. Duke Kahn's ability is outstanding throughout the ages, and his moral character is comparable to that of a saint alive. He..." Laya suddenly noticed a hint of anger in the expression of the little trident, She suddenly realized that this young master doesn't like to listen to his father's good words, "—he is a great man, but a great man is also a human being, and life, old age, sickness and death are unavoidable things. And you are about to take his place and continue to rule the Gulf Land." Laya changed the subject very naturally, "This is the end, but also a new beginning, my lord, I hope you cheer up, our subjects are all looking forward to a new Gulf Land - a better and stronger , an empire that deserves more praise for history."

No one doesn't like to hear flattery, but there are different ways of speaking to different people - Laya knows it well. As the son of the Duke, Little Trident must be tired of listening to those idiots' mindless flattery in the past.And a martial artist like him certainly doesn't like sycophants.So Laya behaved a little more tactfully, hoping to satisfy him.

As a result, as she expected, Little Trident showed a half-smile expression—he might be very satisfied, but at his father's funeral, he couldn't show a presumptuous smile. "You will not be disappointed." There was a wave of restlessness in his words, which made Laya very uneasy. "After you are free, do you want to come to my newly formed military salon? Miss Laya, we need you like this Talents."

What kind of person thinks about his war game at his father's funeral?Raya was disgusted by this. "I'm a girl, what can I do?" She declined.

"You can do a lot!" Little Trident's tone became excited, "Military doctors are indispensable in the army, but our doctors are all quacks and liars. I can't entrust my soldiers to them! Miss Laya , I heard that you are good at medicine, especially surgery, so I call you—I mean, I implore you to be our army doctor..."

When he finished speaking, the steward knocked on the door outside and said, "The vassals of Beihai are here. The old Earl of Beihai is old. My lord, you should go down to meet them this time."

"The Earl of Beihai is a greedy and hypocritical old bastard, what else would he do besides defrauding Jinsha Castle?" He waved his hand, "I don't see you!"

The butler looked at Laya with embarrassment, Laya nodded and left immediately.However, the little trident shouted at this time: "Instead of wasting time on that kind of person, I might as well have a good talk with Miss Laya—ah, the chairman of the White Clothes Club, please sit here." "A chair was pulled up and Laya sat down.

Laya couldn't help frowning, thinking: This is troublesome.

Red and White Farce, II

Red and White Farce, II

In the hall, the performance continued.

Haiwen is the most noble person here besides the countess, so he should be seated.His entourage was sitting at the long table below him, the smiling cat was drinking and eating meat recklessly, and Brian was chatting with an acquaintance, bursting into laughter from time to time.

The Countess married a man today, so it is not appropriate to come out to meet people.The elders of the Countess had all passed away, so she called her younger sister to accompany her.

The second daughter of the Earl of Shrimp Bay is named Yawen Deen, and she is a beautiful girl.Miss Yawen was wearing a long white dress embroidered with light green patterns and light makeup. Her clean face made people look very comfortable.She warmly entertained Haiwen and others, and chatted with him about some knowledge and interesting things about Xiawan.This woman is really talkative, and her manners are decent and aristocratic.People in Xiawan often say that the real earl of Xiawan is not the old earl or the countess, but this little daughter.

Haiwen was a little impatient, but it was not the time to turn the table, so he chatted with the little daughter in a circumstantial manner, and said, "In your opinion, what is your sister's husband like?"

Yawen was stunned for a moment, then suddenly turned serious and said, "I don't think so."

Haiwen didn't expect her to say that, so he asked, "How do you say that?"

"To tell you the truth, my lord, this young master of the Sarris family is just a guy who is following others. This kind of person is not worthy of a nobleman's daughter."

"But they're getting married right away," said Haven.

"Life is full of helplessness, my lord, and nobles are no exception." She smiled wryly, "Xiawan needs wealth and a man, and the Sarris family can indeed bring these things—of course, this is just my opinion , this matter..." She sighed helplessly, and said with a wry smile, "Who knows? Maybe my sister just likes that man. Anyway, it's a good thing. I'm very happy that my sister can get married. In the future, the affairs of Xiawan will be presided over by a man, so I can live a little more leisurely."

"Really? Take it easy?" Haiwen looked at the woman in front of him and thought to himself: Will she be willing to hand over the power in her hands to an outsider like Sarris?

Yawen nodded and said, "It's good to be free, my lord. Let those who are more enthusiastic to do the work of the earl. I'm not young, so I should find someone else." She shrugged and smiled, "I think The West is fine."

"The West?" Haiwen laughed dumbfounded, "What's so good about the West? It's deserted and Gobi. It's hot in summer and cold in winter."

"At least it's safe there, the little trident can't penetrate the north, go to the Gobi Desert, right?" She laughed loudly, "Haha! It's good to be a rancher there, I plan to buy a piece of land to go there in the future By the way, find another man to marry—or marry. Well, this must be done quickly, and it will be too late when the Grand Duke is dead."

Haiwen didn't know if she was joking or really had such intentions, but being able to say such a thing proved that she didn't take Xiawan seriously.

At this moment, the music started.The band played a cheerful tune, and the dancers in pink skirts scattered petals across the hall. The master of ceremonies said loudly: "The holy wedding has officially begun! May the gods bless today and bless tomorrow, so that love will remain faithful forever—now please Bride and groom!"

With a bang, the door opened to both sides, and Master Sarris walked out slowly, holding the countess's arm.At this moment, all the guests in the hall were silent, only the flute of the band and the singing of the flower girl remained in the air, which sounded funny and harsh.

The moment he saw the countess, Hai Wen was also dumbfounded: It seems that the legend is true.

General Brian, who was sitting below, shouted loudly: "Damn, so fat!?"

red and white slapstick, three

red and white slapstick, three

The old butler pushed the door open, and he said in a very serious voice: "Master Kahn, the guests have been waiting below for a long time, if you don't go down, it will be considered rude."

This housekeeper is a lifesaver, Laya thought.She had been entangled by the little trident for quite a while, and as soon as the lord closed the door, his sad and serious look disappeared completely.He dragged Raya to chat about his war games, and after talking about defending the city, he talked about attacking the city, and then he talked about naval battles and field battles, bragging about his army all the time, as if he could rule the world in an instant.

This guy is bad and stupid, Laya thought. She didn't know much about war, but she knew that a normal person would never show off his war game to the guests at his father's funeral.He lacks kindness and lacks brains.Such a lunatic to rule the Gulf?Ah, damn it, Laya thought very sadly, seeing that the fifth mass extinction is really coming.

The little trident stood up from his seat, his huge figure blocked the totem's candlelight.Laya was completely shone under this shadow, and she couldn't help feeling afraid.

"They always thought I was rude, and even said in private that I was not well-bred. It doesn't matter, housekeeper, this time. If they dare to talk nonsense..." He laughed, "You just kick his ass and hang him on the chandelier .”

The old man couldn't help but shouted: "Ba Gu, you are so outrageous!"

"Housekeeper!" He roared angrily and took a step forward, causing the entire Tower of the Sun to tremble, "It's even more outrageous for you to talk to me like that!"

Laya saw that the old man's face became tense, and the old housekeeper said bravely: "I am not only a housekeeper, but also your mentor. I taught you how to read and speak, have you forgotten?" His voice was louder than before. Much smaller.

"You also said, 'You used to be my mentor', now you are just a butler!" The little trident laughed again, "Put that away, I don't want to read it!" He wore an iron The big finger pointing at the old housekeeper, "When I become a duke, this custom will be abolished immediately!"

The butler was trembling from his angry lips and was speechless.

Laya was amazed by this: How dare he roar in the mourning hall!He doesn't respect his father, nor his teacher, such a person... such a person... Laya bit her lower lip, and the little trident was even more violent than what she saw a few years ago.In the past, he was more or less well-behaved, he was considered a normal prince, but now he is like a bandit leader.

I can't count on this man anymore, I have to get out of here.

Laya stood up and said to the little trident: "My lord, I think the butler is right, we should go down."

The little trident turned his head and stared at Laya, his huge eyes made people feel creepy.Laya bowed and said: "If you want to turn the Gulf into a powerful empire, you will need the support of nobles from all over the world. Before you take office, neglecting the vassals of the North Sea will make other nobles treat you prejudice."

"Prejudice? Don't be prejudiced, I'm just like this! A bunch of old rascals, what do you want to do!" He cursed in dialect when he was angry, and Laya frowned.The more you talk to him, the worse this guy behaves.

"Those who want to achieve great things should be tolerant." Your father is like this, but Laya dare not mention the matter of the old duke here, "My lord, you go down to express your opinion, not for the earl of Beihai, but for the sake of the earl of Beihai." For other nobles who are loyal to you."

The little trident shouted: "What kind of mother-in-law are you, woman!" His angry nose sprayed out hot air, like a ferocious orc, "Or...or this! If you promise me to join the army, I will go down to accompany those guests! "

The old butler shouted: "Master Kahn, you are so rude! Miss Laya is a guest, how can you..."

The little trident stared and scolded: "You fucking shut up!" Immediately he scratched his head, and said to Laya with a pleasant face: "Chairman of the White Clothes Association, what do you say?"

Laya definitely couldn't be a military doctor for him, but it was obvious that the "Duke" had her eye on her.In desperation, she could only say: "Okay, I will send my best doctor to be your military doctor. I am too busy to go to your barracks in person, and I hope you will forgive me."

Little Trident frowned and asked, "How many people?"

"A dozen or so."

"A dozen or so people don't care!"

Laya tried to be as calm as possible, and said: "There are less than a hundred people under my command who can be called doctors. Even if you send them all, they will not be able to satisfy your army. But I am experienced and have been lecturers. They Can train new doctors for you. Are you satisfied?"

"Okay! That's great!" The little trident clapped his hands and laughed. He held Laya's hand with both hands and shook it up and down. Laya's body was almost lifted by him. "My dear Chairman, can you do something?" But it’s so authentic, when I become a duke, I’ll seal you up right away.”

Raya didn't want to be called "something", Raya just wanted to get done and leave.I think it's the end of the bay, she thought.Taking advantage of the little trident's joy, she took out Haiwen's letter and said, "My lord, to tell you the truth, I have one more thing to do today. This is a letter from the Earl of Xiongshan..."

The little trident waved his hand and said: "Let's talk about this kind of shit later, today is my father's funeral, I'm not in the mood to talk about it."

Do you remember the funeral now?Raya thought.

Laya had no choice but to say: "That's true, I was rude. But I must remind you that this letter is related to future wars. The Grand Duke is gone, and you are the patron saint of the Gulf. I hope you will cheer up as soon as possible and carry the This responsibility."

"Future war?" His voice raised, "What is it?"

"Some reports about weapon forging, from Xiongshan."

The little trident asked, "Oh, from the Sternier family?"

"No, it belongs to the Earl of Bear Mountain—please read the details yourself. I won't bother you any more, and I will leave!" Laya turned around and left.

At this moment, there was a sad mourning from the outer castle, and it seemed that the funeral had officially begun.At this time, the little trident ran past Laya, swearing in dialect.The old butler ran all the way behind him, and when he passed Laya, he gave Laya a sorry look, and then chased after him with difficulty.Laya behind sighed helplessly, thinking to herself:

Grand Duke Trident is a good king, let me see him off too.

But I am afraid that not only the old Duke will be sent away this time, but also the peace and glory of the Gulf.

red and white farce, four

red and white farce, four

The bride herself took four chairs.

That might not be fair to say, since one person cannot sit on four chairs.But the chair under the Countess' buttocks was indeed as big as four chairs.The Countess of Shrimp Bay sat on a huge chair, her body squeezed out from the gap in the armrest like a tightly bound ham.Haiwen has never seen such a fat person, saying that three hundred catties is modest, heh!Three hundred tons, right?

There are many rumors about this countess: for example, she weighs more than 300 catties, and can eat a cow for a meal; for example, she is insatiable, domineering and savage; The little girl is still young, and she can pee her pants when she is scared by mice.

The countess not only has a terrible weight, but also has a thick voice and a huge appetite worthy of her weight.The monster had been eating and drinking non-stop since it sat on the edge of the table.The groom was standing by the side, the master of ceremonies was reading congratulations, and going through the wedding process like a one-man show, while she was eating non-stop.

"Don't call it Xiawan, call it Pigwan." Smiley Cat whispered to Haiwen, "Kill this lord, it will be enough fat for the poor in Xiawan for three years." Haiwen patted him and made him small Click on it.

"As we swore before, today we witness this sacred moment! Shrimp Bay will usher in a new guardian, Calvin Sarris Dern!" People applauded sparsely, and the countess followed suit. A few slaps.Then she stood up slowly with the support of three servants, and said: "My subjects, honored guests!" Her rough voice was not at all like a woman, "I thank you for coming to this wedding, and thank you Thank you for my cutest sweetheart, my groom, Lord Cavin, when I was applying for marriage, I thought there would be an old man who couldn’t marry a woman, but I didn’t expect it to be such a young brother. Oh! My dear Come on, baby, come on, come on and give me a kiss! Give me a vowed kiss!" She said to the young master of the Sarris family.Haiwen felt nauseated as he watched from the sidelines. The countess smelled like body odor, and there were sludges on her arms and neck—presumably, with such a big body, it must be troublesome to take a bath, so don't wash it.

The young master of the Sarris family also looked hopeless.He pondered a little, and said: "My lord, the marriage in the Bay Area is divided into two days. Today is the first wedding, and it is to meet with guests. It is not proper to kiss today. You will come with me to see my parents in a few days, and this kiss will not be acceptable again." Not too late."

The countess was not forgiving, and said: "My husband, look at me, do you look like someone who can walk to Bear Mountain? If your parents want to see me, call them. Don't forget, you are Marriage is not marriage."

"Okay." Calvin Sarris turned his face and went to kiss the giantess.Haiwen really couldn't stand it anymore, that woman's mouth was so big that she could swallow Calvin's entire face, not to mention her mouth was covered with oil and her mouth was not clean...

How wonderful it is for me to have a wife like Isrit, he couldn't help thinking now.

Although everyone can't stand it, etiquette is still required.After that long, deep, wet, sticky tongue kiss was over, everyone clapped.Then the countess cried out, saying: "Drink to your heart's content! Wine and fresh fish, as much as you want!" The crowd cheered loudly.

So more dishes were brought to the table, and the Countess's utensils were extravagant.The pots and bowls are gold-plated, the festooned porcelain plates, and the knives and forks are all silverware, shining under the reflection of the black fish fat lamp.The food they ate was not simple, the table was full of delicacies from mountains and seas, Haiwen roughly counted, there were 28 starters and 33 second dishes.It is said that the countess loves food, and there are [-] chefs in the castle, who can cook dishes from almost all over the world.Rao Haiwen, even though he had seen and heard in his previous life, was still amazed when he saw this table of dishes.

Needless to say, chicken, duck and fish meat, there is also yak meat from the north, wild bear paws from the south, and even several large gong lobsters called "water gold". This lobster is more than one meter long. Bright red with an alluring aroma.This thing costs several gold per piece, and the money spent on one bite is enough for an ordinary family to live for a month.

The most frightening thing is that there is still human flesh here.

red and white slapstick, five

red and white slapstick, five

When Haiwen first saw the dish, he thought it looked like a human thigh, but he thought it was too absurd, how could there be human flesh?However, Master Cat told him that this is human flesh.

"This is the hairy human leg of the Southern Islands." The smiling cat pointed to the thigh. "It is said that the hairy people of the Southern Islands walk like flying. Their thighs are particularly strong and the meat is very good, so they become a meal on the plate."

"How can people eat people?" Haiwen asked in a low voice.

"In the eyes of the noble lord, the slaves in the south are not human beings."

This kind of sensational event happened right in front of his eyes, and Haiwen couldn't help but be moved.He watched helplessly as the waiter cut the thigh open, divided it into small pieces, put it on a plate, and distributed the meat to everyone present.Most people accepted it, and no one had a problem with it.And there was only one leg bone left on the big plate, and the bone was still covered with blood and meat residue.

However, one hairy human leg was obviously not enough for so many guests. After a while, the head chef wearing a white tall hat brought out two more dishes.Haven had no doubts that he would be able to bring out a few more dishes.

The countess was chatting and laughing with the guests, her younger sister came over to drink with Hai Wen and said, "My lord, drink more! Drink today's wine and forget about tomorrow's worries."

Hai Wen shook his wine glass and asked, "What worries you about tomorrow?"

"I heard that the Grand Duke is about to die." She drank the wine, her pretty face turned even redder, "The day when the Grand Duke dies is the day when the flames of war will come—you said there is going to be a war, what shall we do? "

Hai Wen asked, "War? Why do you have to fight?"

Miss Yawen laughed and said: "Because of the little trident, he wants to fight! He is not as good as his father in governing the country. If he wants to surpass his ancestors, the only way to go is to make military exploits. Besides, he loves war. I've never seen anyone as fanatical as him."

"Don't fight!" The fat countess also shouted, "My father died in the civil war, and I don't want to die on the battlefield too! Let the little trident go to hell!" Her shout came Many cheers, it seems people hate the little trident.

Yawen smiled and said, "Sister, you will not die on the battlefield! Because there is no horse that can carry you."

Her sister laughed and cursed, and threw a chicken leg at her, Yawen screamed and dodged, and then the two laughed.At this time, the countess waved her fat arms and said loudly: "I have decided! After we are married, I will pardon one hundred prisoners in Xiawan and reduce taxes for one year. Then I will send My husband is going to River Bend to be a peace envoy, and I want to keep Xiawan away from the war..." When she said this, everyone cheered. At this time, she waved her arms and continued to say excitedly: "Also, and I want to lose weight I will eat four meals a day from now on!" Everyone laughed, even the Countess herself, and the air was full of joy.

But looking at the thigh bones on the table, Hai Wen couldn't be happier.He couldn't help thinking: the countess looked fat, stupid, and inhuman, but she didn't sound like a bad person when she said this.Maybe she's just talking about the scene?Or was this something she had been taught to say?Haven doesn't know the answer.

Haiwen asked Smiley Cat, "Master Cat, you are older than me, and you are more knowledgeable. Tell me, do you think these sisters are good or bad?"

The smiling cat pondered for a while, and said: "Many nobles have never seen poor people, and they can only know the folk affairs by imagining, so many people have done absurd things. My lord, as far as I know, the Countess of Shrimp Bay is just stupid, but not evil."

There is a saying: why not eat minced meat?Haiwen thought to himself, probably these nobles are such people.

The banquet was still going on, and Haiwen decided to wait until the guests were half drunk before doing anything.

red and white slapstick, six

red and white slapstick, six

The long lights flickered, and the faces of the mourners flickered.