Poverty story after Tokyo actress

"We plan to focus on shooting your scenes within a few days, so that, Miss Miyano, you can also focus on the crew you are in charge of."

Listening to Tasaki Ryuta's suggestion, Jiang Bai repeatedly nodded in agreement, and the crew was willing to help him adjust the shooting time, which really flattered Jiang Bai.

"Thank you, director! You really bothered me!"

"Ah, it's okay. It's just a simple adjustment. It's not a troublesome thing. Apart from the adjustment of the shooting time, there is one more thing."

"Huh? What's the matter?"

"Xiaolin Jingzi has something to talk to you about. Let me tell you to find her at the screenwriting team if you have time. She is very interested in you. I suggest that if you have time now, go find her."

Kobayashi Yasuko has something to say to me?

Jiang Bai immediately recalled the way Xiao Lin looked at him during the interview, the desire to poach people could not be hidden.

Not surprisingly, Aunt Xiaolin probably wants to do something other than her duty...

Sure enough, after Jiang Bai came to the screenwriting group to meet Xiao Lin, Yasuko Kobayashi exchanged a few words, then picked up a few stacks of manuscript paper from the table, writing and drawing on them, Jiang Bai could tell at a glance that this was Amazon's script , and all scripts.

"I have a good relationship with Shinichi Morishita. The scripts written by that kid are among the best at the same age. And that kid recently told me that when you were filming Conan, you asked him to participate in the script work. He also said, you The screenwriting ability is very good."

"So, can you take a look at the script I wrote, I hope I can refer to your suggestion~"

Looking at Aunt Xiaolin's wrinkled face showing a fox-like smile, Jiang Bai couldn't help but scream inwardly.

The idea of ​​wanting to participate in the script is basically undisguised, although Jiang Bai did intend to participate in the script when he first took over Amazon's project.

But after a month of hard work with the parasite crew, she really doesn't want to add extra work to herself now...

However, Xiao Lin Jingzi was staring in front of him, Jiang Bai didn't dare to say no to the boss, so he could only find a place to sit down with a wry smile, and read Xiao Lin Jingzi's script.

Although Jiang Bai has not remembered the details clearly, but Jiang Bai still remembers some generalities, and especially remembers some fragments that make him feel bad.

Although it is said that there are a lot of fans blowing up Amazon on the Internet, Jiang Bai still wants to pour cold water on it. Amazon is indeed a masterpiece with good advantages, but its shortcomings are also very obvious.

The first is the confusion of the protagonist's positioning and the ambiguity of the goal. The protagonist Yu Mizusawa, after learning that he is Amazon, constantly wavers and vacillates in his identity and position.

Maybe in the previous episode, I still have my heart for human beings, but in the next episode, I start to feel that I am biased toward Amazon, and then when I see the villains in Amazon in the next episode, I start to feel that I shouldn’t be this kind of Amazon. My heart is for human beings, but it’s not there yet Half an episode later, I began to feel that I should favor Amazon again.

Brother, there is no such thing as you jumping back and forth while riding a wall. From the first season, Mizusawa Yu's identity given by the plot has been extremely vacillating and vague.

This led to the popularity of the protagonist who was jumping left and right being overwhelmed by the male second Ying Shanren.

In fact, Jiang Bai can still understand Kobayashi Yasuko's thoughts when writing the screenplay. She should want to express the confusion and contradictions of Mizusawa Yu, an Amazon raised by humans, through this vacillating self-struggle.

But it is a pity that there is not enough time for a [-]-episode web drama, and there is no way to express such psychological changes and character changes in detail. What's more, Kobayashi is writing a group portrait drama, and the protagonist's role is even more important. Subtract and subtract.

In the end, it was only possible to simplify the process of the protagonist's awakening, which led to Mizusawa Yu's transformation being very blunt and confusing, and even uttered a lot of unnatural lines.

In fact, in the special studio, it is an old tradition to produce all kinds of anti-sky lines, but the sentence of 01 "Humagia is not wrong, the mistake is the human being who does not admit that Humagia has dreams." This famous line is so against the heavens, it makes people think that the heaven-defying lines are 01's specialty.

In fact, there are many high blood pressure against the sky in Amazon.

The sixth episode is not only against the sky, but the plot is also very against the sky. In simple terms, the plot is that after a criminal kills someone, he is suspected of being an Amazon because of his weird style.

And when the clean-up team in charge of the crusade discovered that the murderer was a human criminal, they actually chose...not to arrest, not to resist!

The reason is that what we are attacking is Amazon. Even if we face a vicious murderer, as long as he is a human being, we cannot do any harm to him!Even if the murderer has already started to attack the members of the crusade team, he can't do any resistance or harm.

God knows how old Jiang Bai looked on the subway when he was watching this episode. She really wanted to complain. This gang of cleaning teams has a lot of brains, only Amazon is left in their minds, and they have no legal awareness.

And this is what Jiang Bai wants to change the most. Anyone who is a little normal should understand that facing this kind of murderer, no matter whether he is a monster or not, he must be arrested first.

It's really against the sky to give up your weapons and not resist.

Jiang Bai is very clear that Kobayashi Jingzi is a screenwriter who is willing to abandon some logic for the sake of character design, but he should not abandon logic like this.

Before reading it, Jiang Bai felt that it would be troublesome to add another job, but seeing the plot against the sky in the script, Jiang Bai was finally defeated by his own obsessive-compulsive disorder. This plot cannot be changed!

Chapter 260 Seven Jiang Bai's Revised Script

"That... Screenwriter Kobayashi, although... I know it's more offensive, but I still want to tell some truths. Although these truths may be a bit ugly."

Jiang Bai smiled wryly and replied to Kobayashi Jingzi, although Jiang Bai didn't think Kobayashi Jingzi was the kind of screenwriter who would be angry at the slightest comment, but denying a person's work would make people somewhat displeased.

Yes, Kobayashi Jingzi did not show any displeasure, on the contrary, he asked rather curiously: "It's okay, just tell me, I'm showing you the script, just to give you some suggestions, what do you think can be done in the script?" Improve?"

Seeing that Kobayashi Jingzi didn't care, Jiang Bai felt relieved and began to truthfully explain his inner thoughts to Kobayashi.

"First of all, Ms. Kobayashi, there is no problem with your script at the beginning, at least until the section of the Amazon building."

Kobayashi Yasuko nodded: "Yes. So... what do you think is the problem?"

Jiang Bai took a deep breath and replied: "I think that after the sixth episode, especially in the plot of the murderer, there are very big problems."

As he said that, Jiang Bai took out the plot of the murderer alone, and explained his views. First of all, Yasuko Kobayashi wanted to show that human beings have more hateful existence than Amazon by shaping a murderer. In the original intention, this One point is no problem.

But the performance is a bit overkill, and even almost sacrificed the shaping of Uncle Ren and the team for this.

"I don't think it's necessary to design this for the team. We're only responsible for arresting Amazon. Even if it's against villains, as long as they're human beings, they're not our targets, and we can't hurt them. I don't think it's necessary to do this. of."

"On the contrary, not only is it unnecessary, but after it is imposed, it will make the members of the squad seem rigid, stupid, and even...abnormal. I suggest that this plot only needs to focus on the cruelty and cunning of the murderer, not Need to add a rigid impression to the squad..."

Xiaolin Jingzi listened carefully to Jiang Bai's proposal, and nodded while listening. Under Jiang Bai's explanation, Xiaolin did understand the problem of this plot, so he asked Jiang Bai: "I am really here The writing in the plot is a bit extreme... Then, how do you think it should be changed?"

"Well..." Jiang Bai watched the script for a while, and had some thoughts in his mind.

The original situation of this plot was that when the squad was investigating the murderer’s RV and found that the murderer was not an Amazon but a human being, the murderer discovered the intention of not daring to attack due to the rigid idea of ​​not being able to harm human beings. So let the murderer wantonly attack.

Obviously fully armed, with sufficient force, and with the help of Amazon, but was killed by a murderer like this.

Really raises blood pressure.

Therefore, Jiang Bai adjusted the plot. First of all, let the team find the murderer first when investigating the location. However, because the murderer is a human being, the team has already preconceived that the murderer is Amazon. There is no suspicion of a murderer.

When the murderer saw that he was not under suspicion, and was very interested in the girl in the squad, Nozomi Takai, as the next target, he pretended to be the victim, lured several squads into his RV, and then Use certain methods to stun squad members.

It is the simplest and most effective way to change the reason for the team's failure to the murderer's cunning and cruelty instead of the team's brain damage.

Afterwards, the murderer tied up the members of the squad and abused them in various ways. Among them, the mole Amazon, who was a member of the squad, transformed into a painful shape, scaring the murderer, but the murderer found that he still couldn't break free, so he The abuse of Xiaoshou is more forceful and cruel.

Mizusawa Yu, who was driven over at last, found out, and out of anger, Mizusawa Yu gave a harsh lesson to the murderer, and was almost too excited to cut him off, but Uncle Ren, who was driven over, interrupted Mizusawa Yu's killing Behavior.

"Hehe, if you don't want to get into trouble and squat back into your own cage, then I advise you to calm down. Your identity is Amazon, and you have no right to interfere in human affairs." Uncle Ren taught this excited young man a lesson, and said to It gave a warning, and then walked away.

There are two changes in Jiang Bai’s plot. The first is to change the brain circuit of the team’s original plot, which is somewhat brain-dead. Against the sky, in simple terms: I want to protect human beings, even if this person is heinous, I also want to protect, you can't kill in front of me.

With Jiang Bai’s change, Uncle Ren’s brain circuit became normal: You and I are both Amazons. In this human-dominated society, if we don’t want to become the target of elimination, then we can’t kill people, even heinous people.

The former is an extreme brain circuit against the sky, and the latter is the reality and compromise brought about by different identities. With the overall framework unchanged, Jiang Bai immediately changed the perception of the plot a lot.

Xiaolin couldn't help but nodded after reading Jiang Bai's changed outline. After being changed by Jiang Bai, the plot became much smoother under the original structure.

"It is indeed like what the kid Morishita said, you are really good at improving the script." Kobayashi Yasuko admired Jiang Bai's improvement of his script, and did not express any displeasure at the talk bar's behavior of changing his script.

"So, Miyano-san, besides these, is there anything else that you think is worth changing?"

"Hmm..." Jiang Baiyou talked about the blunt change of the protagonist's character design, and the ambiguity of Mizusawa Yu's position.

After listening to these suggestions, Kobayashi Jingzi did not directly ask Jiang Bai to change the script, but shook his head with a wry smile, and replied to Jiang Bai: "This point...well, I can't help this point, I designed this With multiple roles, it is naturally impossible to be scruples about everything."

"There are many characters, but the amount of plot is only thirteen episodes, and I can't provide too much space for Mizusawa Yu's growth... This is my initial conception problem. It is indeed possible to change it, but it is limited to ten. Among the three episodes, it's hard for a clever woman to cook without rice..."

Kobayashi's answer was not too unexpected for Jiang Bai. This is indeed a structural problem. There are more than ten episodes. It is necessary to engage in group portraits and change the protagonist...

Don't say Xiaolin has a headache, Jiang Bai dare not say who can write well.

In fact, Jiang Bai has always felt that the production process of Dongying's quarterly production of fan dramas, although the production of works is faster.

Let new works be launched every quarter, but the process of 12 or 13 episodes at a time is really not a healthy script length.

The main problem is that it is too short.

In many light novel adaptations, or manga adaptations, there will be a large number of plot deletions or process adaptations. Why is this happening?It is because there are only thirteen episodes in the first season, the production team naturally has to arrange the length of the plot according to this length.

However, comics, novels, the plot length of these original works do not follow the flow rules of 13 episodes, so, in order to be able to complete a chapter with a beginning and an end under this length, or to add drama to a certain chapter to complete thirteen episodes, it is necessary If not, the plot will be reduced and condensed to thirteen episodes.

This thirteen-episode process has advantages and disadvantages, and the main disadvantages are all aimed at script creation.

Among them, the most rare thing is the original script. The script adapted from the manga novel, at least has the original work to support it, and there is basically no problem as long as the structure of the original work is maintained.

To create an original [-]-episode short script, it is really difficult to do well. .

In the Japanese animation in the previous life, among the thirteen episodes, Jiang Bai remembered only one of the thirteen episodes that could break this length limit and become a masterpiece, and her name was Magical Girl Madoka.And Madoka also added a supplementary content for the theatrical version in the follow-up, which basically broke the length of [-] episodes in terms of volume.

For the rest, most of them cannot escape the curse of driving high and walking low.

Jiang Bai really doesn't know which talent came up with such a process, so that all the screenwriters in the entire industry are framed under the thirteen-episode specification, and one basket lasts for more than ten years.

Yasuko Kobayashi's Amazon script is a victim of the thirteen-episode specification.Even if the length of Yasuko Kobayashi was increased by three episodes, Mizusawa Yuu's transformation would not be so compact and abrupt.

However, this is an industry rule, and membership is a rigid indicator. Even if Kobayashi Yasuko is a gold medal producer, there is no way to contradict this and come up with a script of [-] or [-] episodes.

At this point, Jiang Bai can't help. Although Amazon can become better, but, for now, it can only look like this.

Chapter 260 Eight Don't pester me!

The problem of space determines that Mizusawa Yu's character design problem is not easy to solve, and this is not something Kobayashi Yasuko can solve at this stage.

In fact, most of the problems with Amazon's script lie in its short length. The plot of the entire first season is actually quite compact and complete. The problem is that it is too compact, and many turning points are very blunt.

If the length can be doubled to 24-26 episodes, Yasuko Kobayashi's screenwriting ability can be better utilized.

In fact, if you have read Aunt Kobayashi's screenwriting career history, you can basically find that the length of Amazon is the least in the TV scripts that Kobayashi is solely responsible for.

The length of more than 20 episodes is the advantage area that Kobayashi Yasuko is good at. A dozen episodes are really not enough for Kobayashi's imagination.

But since he chose to make a short play, he had to bite the bullet and write a suitable script. Therefore, Xiaolin abandoned a lot of information in the plot.

Among them, the past of the protagonist Mizusawa Yu is blurred with a very general and perfunctory attitude, and by the way, the background of Izumi Chiba is also blurred.

It can even be said that the background of all the characters in the whole plot is explained briefly in an extremely simplified way. Even for the key character of Ying Shanren, his background was only explained by a few silhouettes in the past. It may not last longer than ten seconds.

When other scripts were still trying to figure out how to deal with all kinds of long-term and long-term plots and memory killing, Amazon did the opposite, streamlined the plots, and deleted the backgrounds that had little impact on the main line, just for the sake of Give the mainline enough time to act.

What's even more incredible is that the final product is a high-quality group drama... Twelve episodes, a group drama!

This kind of open and close choice also just shows the profound skill of Kobayashi Yasuko as a screenwriter. After all, deleting so much content that can be said can still keep the quality of a group portrait script at a high level... How many people can have this A skill?

"Alas... Sure enough, such a short article is still a bit exaggerated." Xiaolin Jingzi laughed at himself with a wry smile.

And Jiang Bai comforted: "It's okay, Ms. Xiaolin, it is already very remarkable to be able to write a story with a beginning and an end in the length of twelve episodes."

What Jiang Bai said was the truth. In the entire Dongying industry, there are really few screenwriters who can write a [-]-episode group drama to the level of Kobayashi.

Urobuchi Gen, who wrote "Magic Circle", is one of them, and it is a coincidence that Urobuchi Gen's enlightenment work happens to be Yasuko Kobayashi's Kamen Rider Ryuki.To some extent, Kobayashi can be regarded as Urobuchi Gen's idol.

And not long after, I'm going to act in the crew of Magic Circle again, tsk, I can only say that there is no such thing as a coincidence.

"Well, apart from these questions, Miss Miyano, do you have any questions you want to ask?" Kobayashi Yasuko skipped this topic and asked again.

And now Jiang Bai can only shake his head. The problems she can see are actually these two points. As for the background settings that are selectively blurred in order to save time, Jiang Bai thinks this is not a problem.

Because thirteen episodes of 0% have been followed|}Ling n&J&1}-qi}#死~4%/5>酒}斯~#久@/巴吧/期货%+9*把<#直$4}tumor{9 In the space, it is very unwise to write {>number~一-N$J-ling to pursue this kind of addition|8&[-]<&[-]*[-]{$[-]|[-]%~[-]$#[-]$}[-]<[-], and it can be simplified Just streamline, pursuing this kind of plot will disrupt the rhythm of the plot structure, and the gain is not worth the % sign @/ just % to lose.

In such a short space, what Yasuko Kobayashi can do is to grasp the main line and try his best to reduce unnecessary branch lines and backgrounds, but even so, the space of the main line is still not enough to shape Mizusawa Yu well.

And Jiang Bai, who has reached the main contradiction, naturally will not talk about some minor issues. Under such limited conditions, the most important thing for screenwriters is to choose and choose. If you want to catch everything, you will not be able to catch anything in the end.

Therefore, Jiang Bai shook his head, saying that there is nothing to change.

However, Kobayashi Yasuko shook his head instead, with an intriguing arc on the corner of his mouth, and said, "Didn't you ask a question from the beginning? Why are you silent now?"

"Ah?" Jiang Bai was taken aback for a moment, the question he asked at the beginning?Um……

Soon, Jiang Bai realized that what Xiao Lin said should be the background story of Quan Qianyu, about this... Jiang Bai said these words to Xiao Lin at the beginning, it was actually a kind of complaint, because this kind of ambiguity, but still The background of the characters who occupy an important role is a mystery, no matter how you think about it, you want to complain.

However, seeing the current dilemma of Yasuko Kobayashi's limited space when writing the screenplay, it is obviously unnecessary and unwise to pursue this kind of background setting for supporting roles.

After all, in the Amazon in the previous life, Quan Qianyu had no background and no reason, but it still did not affect the plot of Amazon.

"That...Izumi Qianyu's background setting... On this point, Ms. Xiaolin, if you can control the main line now, everything will be fine. The background...I don't think it's a shortcoming to be mysterious..."

Jiang Bai replied to Xiao Lin, but was interrupted by Xiao Lin waving his hand: "No, I think your proposal is very good. In fact, Amazon's plan was to do two seasons from the beginning. My idea is to let the next episode spanned five years."

"After five years, what kind of changes will happen to people like Ying Shanren? Well... your proposal gave me some ideas. I want Quan Qianyu to be the boss in the second season."

"..."

Hearing Kobayashi Yasuko's proposal, Jiang Bai's face suddenly became weird. Although...Izumi Qianyu did exist as the Amazon's behind-the-scenes boss in the second season, but in fact, Quan Qianyu became the boss. A bit far-fetched.