i was my mistake
Page 111
Or maybe it's just an illusion, after all, she used to have no time to calm down and look at the moon for a long, long time.
Especially in the era of smart phones, whenever there is some free time, the mobile phone is picked up.
She can be immersed in the beautiful scenery built by the game, and can be immersed in the picturesque movies, but she will never be immersed in this reality.
——Probably bored with reality, I don't want to let my spirit stay there for another half a second.
But after going back to the past, these things that can paralyze the soul do not exist.
She can only be forced to stay in reality.
Back to the reality she had been living in.
At the beginning, I always thought about finding my mobile phone, but as time went by, those habits seemed to be gradually forgotten.
Standing down-to-earth in reality, this feeling is extraordinarily real.
The problem of always feeling empty seemed to be cured.
There was a sound of water flushing the toilet in the bathroom, she tilted her head, and saw Ye Chen walking into the bedroom with frivolous steps.
"What are you doing? Diarrhea? Did you eat something bad?"
"I don't know... My stomach hurts all the time... But I just can't pull anything out."
"It shouldn't be. Didn't I also eat the embedded cake made by my father? I'm fine."
"Could it be that Dad's cigarette ash fell into it?"
Wan Qing twitched the corners of her mouth, thinking of her father who always liked to cook with a cigarette in his mouth, she dared not deny it: "Well... In this case, I can't say for certain..."
"Did you smoke when you asked Dad not to make things next time, and no customers thought it was dirty?"
"After all, it's a roadside stall, everyone is used to it."
"Huh..." Ye Chen's frowning brows loosened a little, "It seems to be more comfortable, could it be because I drank cold water just now?"
"It's winter, what cold water do you drink?"
"It's cold and white, so I can't pour it...there is no boiling water at home, and my dad seems to have used up the ingredients during the day."
"When you take a bath, take it so hot that you can burn it quickly."
"Then you can't help me burn it on the gas stove when you come back... I always feel that the heat is almost unsafe, and I was almost electrocuted last time." Ye Chen muttered and shook his hand, as if thinking of it again That numb feeling, "The workmanship is so poor, I don't dare to use it too much."
"Are you still afraid of this?"
"Why not be afraid, what if I was electrocuted to death, and you are gone too."
"...If you're afraid of death, just say it, don't take me with you." Wan Qing rolled her eyes and shrank into the bed, "Lie down and sleep."
"I'm listening to the radio again, can I change the channel?"
"Why, isn't this channel bad?"
"The car radio always makes me feel like I'm sleeping in the backseat of the car... Last night I dreamed that I was traveling in a van to the desert, but I didn't have any water to drink, and I woke up suddenly thirsty in the middle of the night."
Wan Qing pinched her cheek and tugged hard: "It's a good thing you didn't dream about swimming in the reservoir."
"what?"
"That way I might pee my pants."
"Hey……"
Small talk before going to bed seems to have become a habit.
For Wan Qing who has been living alone, she felt a little uncomfortable at first, but gradually, she began to feel that this kind of small talk can make her feel happy.
Just like drinking a glass of milk before going to bed, it seems to have the effect of calming the mind and falling asleep.
"I said, another me."
"Call me Ye Chen, okay?"
"Then what's my name?"
"Your name is Wan Qing now."
"Why isn't my name Ye Chen and yours Wan Qing?"
"Did you learn the skill of carrying bamboo poles from Zhuangzi?" Ye Chen turned over, turned his back to her, then turned over again as if afraid of her doing something bad, and looked at her vigilantly Two eyes.
However, Wan Qing already felt sleepy at this time.
On the tape player that can play the radio, the sweet female voice came back again: "Now the fight incident has been temporarily dealt with, and the people in both cars have been taken to the detention center for criminal detention. The road has been cleared. Please drive with confidence..."
Her upper eyelids and lower eyelids kept fighting, as if she was already sitting in a speeding car, driving far away in the middle of the night.
There is nowhere to go and therefore no end.
Ye Chen's voice, like rock sugar strawberries, came to her ears, vague and soft.
"Wan Qing, what is your ideal?"
"..."
"Hey, hello? Did you fall asleep so soon..."
"There is no...ideal...fool...only."
"...You are the fool."
"Well, I'm a fool." Wan Qing didn't deny it, her voice gradually softened.
In this silence, the street lights on the street seemed not to be so bright.
Ye Chen yawned, feeling drowsy.
However, at this moment, the telephone in the living room rang.
"Jingle Bell--"
The mechanical bell was extremely loud.
Wan Qing, who was already in a dream, was dragged back to reality abruptly.
"Why..."
"Calling."
"Who is..."
"Maybe it's from Dad."
"...Dad? Which dad?"
"The current dad, maybe he is downstairs and wants us to help get something down?"
There are places to make calls everywhere on the street, and there are not a few public phone booths. As long as you remember the number, it is not uncommon to make a call back.
"Go and pick it up." Yi kicked Ye Chen lightly with her foot.
"Tsk."
She got up with a grunt, and without caring about her hair being scattered in the wind, she quickly rushed to the landline and picked up the phone.
"Hey?"
"Hey."
Unexpectedly, it was not father's voice that came from inside.
Neither the present father nor the young father of the past.
This voice is very familiar, as if it is often heard in a dream, but it is very strange, as if it has been a long time since I saw it.
There was a warm smile in the voice, and Ye Chen felt an inexplicable throbbing in the middle of the winter night.
"……Hey?"
"Is it Ye Chen?"
"It's me...it's me—" She finally remembered who the voice on the other end of the phone belonged to, and now she shouted in surprise, even using a name she only called when she was a child, "Mom!?"
"It's me."
"Mom... wait a minute, Wan Qing, Wan Qing!" Ye Chen grabbed the receiver tightly and shouted hoarsely into the bedroom, "Hurry up and come here!!"
"What are you doing...the whole building will hear you shouting..." Wan Qing muttered as she kicked the quilt away, and when she sat up, her body seemed to freeze, "You...you say what?"
"It's my mother's call." Ye Chen calmed down again, "Come and listen!"
"Really...?" She couldn't believe it.
"My old mother."
"I see." She immediately relaxed, but then felt a burst of frustration and loss.
The two of them leaned together in front of the receiver, listening to the trickling voice from the mother in the past.
"The other one is my eldest daughter, right?"
"Mom...? How do you know?" Ye Chen asked in surprise.
"I told myself." The woman on the other end of the phone smiled lightly, "You guys, are you all right?"
"all good……"
"Am I okay?"
"Uh……"
"Mom, you are no longer here."
"Oh……"
"Mom, how many years have you been calling now?"
"It's the end of December in 1990, it will be [-] soon."
"Ah, isn't that...almost six years ago?"
"It's so subtle..." Wan Qing pinched her earlobe, rubbing it until it turned red.
The dead call from the time when she was not dead, leading to the future where she is dead.
Yi recalled what her mother had said to her when she returned to the light, and suddenly became puzzled again.
Could it be that the change has actually started since then?
From the time I arrived in this world, I was destined to have such a change?
Ye Chen's actions did not determine the direction, but... accelerated the direction?
In Yi's mind, there is only a vague memory of her mother, what exactly does she know?
"Mom, then, when did you call you?"
"She didn't say it, she just told me that she was going to die soon, so she wanted to tell me these things, hoping that even if 'I' passed away, I could continue to take care of the children and husband for a few years."
Ye Chen bit his lips tightly, squeezed his eyes hard, raised the back of his hand and wiped his cheek: "Mom... I thought I would never, ever hear your voice again..."
"People will always leave this world. It's just to delay those sorrows in this way. Maybe...it's not bad." Although the mother on the phone couldn't see her appearance, it felt like she was gently stroking Ye Chen's head with her hands. Gentle, "Although I still haven't figured out what exactly happened, I'm very glad that at least my unfulfilled wish can be realized by myself."
"Mother……"
"Cry ass, don't cry, it's a waste of phone bills."
Ye Chen puffed his cheeks, raised his head angrily, and saw Wan Qing's teary-eyed face...
……
14. Two memories
As if she had noticed something, Wan Qing suddenly looked at the moon outside the window.
In a trance, it seemed to be getting closer.
But it doesn't.
The cold moonlight shines on the window, embellishing the loneliness of this late night.
"Chenchen, are you still used to being a girl? If you don't understand something, you can ask Wan Qing first. If you both don't understand, just call me and ask."
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