Evetrona's old stories

[226] Rebirth under withering: the ordinaryness of the world · Part [-]

Fochte divided the apple into four pieces with a knife and distributed them to everyone.

"Is this really edible?" Eve stared blankly at the apple in her hand—this apple has orange-yellow flesh, and the core cannot be seen on the flat cut surface.

"I'll try it first." As a student of Fochite, Pani set an example first.

Eve also tried a sip, then frowned.She said: "In terms of taste, it is indeed very close to apples, but this taste... why do I think it is more like grapes?"

Pani nodded, "To be precise, it is the fruit of the night sky vine."

The fruit of the night sky vine is a kind of grape. Its fruit is huge and can be seen almost everywhere in the city. Thanks to the unique depth of Parnass, in terms of eating methods, the same fruit has different processing methods at different heights. The shriveled fruit contains more sugar and can be used to make a special and precious liqueur with flavors of honey and dried fruit.

"Indeed, I just want to create a grape-flavored apple." Fochte said, "Why do Dionek and Fierce White belong to the Yalong family? This apple can explain the problem very well - random patchwork like this has almost become the norm in the former Sky Realm, Ortigia has tremendous knowledge, and he is indeed good at using it. Perhaps long before the creation of the entity, those strange creatures have been exhausted in his mind - so biological taxonomy has become a joke. Using prophecy to create the world, Does it have some similarities with some kind of mythology? But what I want to say is that Ortigia does have the potential to become a creation god—in time, if He really moves the six-sided world into reality, allowing those creatures to multiply and evolve... A new order will inevitably emerge from the chaos."

The teacher's words may be instructive, but at this time they did not attract the appreciation of the three visitors - because the girls are in deep confusion.

"Maybe I should explain who Ortigia is first?" Fochte spread her hands.

"Sacred God of the Dragon Race, the creator of the Sky Realm, I know." Eve said, "That's not the problem—maybe, you should give us a theme first, so that we can know what the words just now revolve around?"

"Okay..." Fochte smiled, "Having said so much, we've been talking about archaeology...not even history. So, why should we care so much about what happened in the past? ——Eve, what do you think is the reason for this?"

"Because...things are always happening repeatedly, so the future can be predicted through archeology?" She tried to answer.

"It's not a prediction, it's a breakthrough." Fochte said, "Humans came from the sea of ​​dust, and what happened before that? Ortigia created the new world, what is his real purpose—and before the new world was created, the doomsday never visited any continent or ocean...Why did the doomsday happen? Who is interfering with these things, and we...are we trapped in a piece of time and space, and we can't escape forever?"

After hearing the elf's words, Eve felt a chill down her spine, and she couldn't help shivering.

"Then what are we?" Eve asked him, "A group of abandoned... lonely ghosts?"

"It's a migratory person." Fochte replied, "migrating through the years, but their luggage is limited. As much as they pick up on the road, they have to throw away correspondingly. Therefore, people throw away things that are not needed right now and stride forward, but later, they have to sigh for the old things that have been lost. Where are we going? The end of seeking knowledge is despair and silence, but on the other hand, we will never face such a situation, because knowledge is boundless and unprovable. Eternal existence, but lifespan is limited...Even if we know that the end of this road must be despair, we can still go on with peace of mind—you should be glad that the world will collapse and destroy one day, but destruction always comes before despair...The road to knowledge must have a beginning and no end, and the things we pursue—in the final analysis, have nothing to do with this demise.”

Eve can only try to understand these words of Fochte - do those people who have lived for a long time speak like this?

"The fate of human beings is so similar to a person's life. We will never understand, and we don't have to understand, what is the meaning of accumulation based on death." Fuchte added, "A theme, a goal, maybe It will be the driving force for a person to move forward, but what theme is good? Fraternity, justice, dedication, and one-to-one marriage... All the positive values ​​​​that we can accept are nothing but overpackaged friendliness, or It is pure hypocrisy, and the so-called freedom is also a false concept. For a blind follower, freedom is a taste instilled by others, a hobby, not ideological liberation—and because In this way, what they pursue is not freedom, but only the satisfaction obtained from opposition and venting, and freedom has never existed."

"That is to say... everything is nothingness?" Eve asked tentatively.

Fochte looked at her for a moment, then laughed, and he said, "No, I believe the world is real, and even if it wasn't, I would still like to believe that grape-flavored apple is real, and with my Experience created it, and you have successfully verified the universality of this experience - anyway, you did eat it just now, and tasted something different... Although not much, it must be admitted .”

In this regard, everyone smiled knowingly.

"Just kidding. In fact, there is no reality or nothingness in the world. Everything is just a word game, a kind of invention and creation. Only human beings can worry about this." Finally, he used this passage That's the end of this topic.

Fochte's work is very busy, because he has handled many projects and has rich experience, so many people are willing to entrust him to help, hoping that he can give some pointers in different directions or unique insights from more angles.When talking about humans and sanctuaries in the old era, he accidentally mentioned Evetrona again.

"As you said, some people always hope to have a clear theme when doing things, only in this way will they not lose energy when doing things. What is the library doing now? In fact, not only Parnas, other races We are also collecting those old books, and we upload them to an information center in the Midvale Land. Its main body is in the ice sea outside the Midvale Continent—Eftrona traveled around and completed these by herself. She connected those hermit groups, so we have such a place...a data space where we can communicate in real time and operate together."

That is to say, in the Mid Valley Continent where Essin is located, there is an online library that is bigger than the Parnas Library.

"Thanks to the location here, Parnas's data contribution has always been at the top. For thousands of years, many scholars have come to visit, so in the end, this library has become what it is now - a place for academic exchanges, where scholars from all ethnic groups in the old era gather together."

"When did this happen?" Eve asked him.

"Perhaps it was ten centuries ago? In fact, I have never met Evetrona herself. My teacher was still alive when she came." Fochte said, "I heard Lelier say that you are her daughter. Is this true?"

"How should I put it... I don't really understand it, maybe it is."

"Okay, I probably understand." Fochte nodded, "Before understanding the world, you should understand yourself first. Earlier, Lelie and Stricky went to Naviz and talked about you, so Naviz wanted me to talk to you... But I don't think it's necessary now, because you don't look stupid, and even a little smart... I mean some aspects. Sigourney's intuition is right, you really need to talk to the nymphs—maybe there will be unexpected gains."

Only then did everyone understand why Fochte invited them here today.

After the visit, on the way back to the dormitory, Eve just ran into Yuqie, who was surrounded by six or seven elves with delicate figures and cute appearance in the middle of the square.

In fact, in this forest city, the most popular visitor is not Eve, but the only man in the team.This may be because "things are rare and expensive", but it cannot be denied that people have different tastes, and some people just like this kind of wider chest, especially some small women.

Yuqie discovered Eve almost at the same time, so he raised his hands high, squeezed out of the crowd almost by brute force, and walked to Eve's side.

"That... I didn't mean to disturb you." Eve said to him.

"I don't understand their language." Yuqie said with a wry smile, "You can't leave me here."

Eve was amused by his tone, and she said, "Okay then, let's go back."

Under the surprised eyes of the group of elves, Yuqie followed them and left the square.

On the way, Pani said: "This group of elves is like this. When they meet foreigners who are different from them, they will swarm up to try something different—even if you are a Shemo, they will not dislike you. But if there is a handsome male of the same race in this place, everyone will spare no effort to be excluded, and even be kicked out... In a sense, this is also a strange moral standard. As for the reason, as Fochte said, they are a group of extremely selfish people. They only care about their own gains, and for this group of elves, the only justice may only mean absolute average...get what you don’t have, or destroy what others have, in short, everyone must be exactly the same.”

When they returned to the dormitory, Lelier and Streiki were lying on the side of the road chatting - after only staying in Forest City for two or three days, these two busy witches also began to become lazy.

In Parnas, it is not uncommon to see elves sleeping on the street. After all, this is a society that has completely lost its vigilance.

"We're leaving tomorrow." Lelier said to Eve, "Nymph lives in a place deeper in the forest. Let's go to the nearby elf settlement first. Only those who are allowed to approach the boundaries of the Deep Space Tree, so when the time comes you I can only go to see Ningfu alone."

Eve glanced at Pani behind her, and then asked Lelier, "After seeing her, will you come back?"

"Maybe I will go back directly by another route, which will save me a lot of time." Lelier replied.

Eve turned around and looked at Pani with some regret.Although the time was not long, the time spent with Pani was quite pleasant—since she came to this world, few people seem to be able to discuss the topic of "sex" with herself without changing her face like Pani ...It made her miss the past.

Living in such an era, she sometimes feels that there is such a layer in her body: it is precious, and some people even regard it as more important than life, but at the same time, it does not belong to her— —Often, a woman needs to give it to someone who loves her and is worthy of her trust on a holy night, and experience the unpleasant first time in her life in pain.Moral constraints—or, in other words, social responsibilities—deprived the young woman of knowledge and experience of sex, and she also realized at this time that no matter who encounters such a situation, it is actually impossible not to care about it. Things—the so-called value of existence that a man pursues all his life may be reflected in a 16-year-old virgin—she is an animal that combines morality and beauty, and her existence is a kind of glory .However, the beauty of this rare value is also short-lived, because not all women are beautiful, and not all beautiful women can be 16 forever... At the same time, not all beauty is beautiful get the appreciation they deserve.

Eve's heart flutters all the time.Now, she is indeed used to this body, and she no longer thinks that touching herself is a kind of blasphemy; but sometimes—for example, when she looks in the mirror, she feels that the person in the mirror seems more like her lover, That kind of never gets tired of watching... how to put it, maybe no one is worthy of her, and she should not be handed over to anyone——she may not realize that she is disciplining herself from a male perspective, making her I have become a very ideal traditional woman in the eyes of men.

"Looks like there's not much time left." Pani smiled unnaturally, obviously, she also couldn't bear to part with this new friend.

Erinde walked up to Pani, seeing her hesitation, it was obvious that she also had something to say.

"About that scholar... Rachel, can we go and see her?"

Regarding the person that Pani mentioned before, Erinde still has some inexpressible... indescribable feelings in her heart.

"Now?" Pani looked at the time, "Oh, you can only go now, you are leaving tomorrow."

They hit it off immediately, and before Eve could make a decision, she was dragged away by the two holding one hand.

Delize was still a little dizzy after she came back, so she didn't follow, but went back to the dormitory to rest.

The northern patio is still some distance away. In order to save time, a small rail car was needed on the way, and in the car, Pani sang.

I have to say that her voice is very good, and her singing skills are also quite good. Although I don't know what she is singing, it really fascinates people.

In the middle of singing, Pani suddenly burst out laughing, and the singing stopped abruptly.

"What's wrong?" Eve asked her.

"I remember that at the beginning of the year, I set a goal for myself, saying that I should translate at least two books this year. As a result, a year has passed, and I only wrote a few pages." Pani smiled and said to them explain.

In Parnas, the elves start the new year with the alternation of the two months.

"But... is it really so funny?"

"Of course, when I think of my self-confidence, I find it very funny-I remember saying this to Fochte at the year-end party: 'This year, I must show you how talented I am.'"

Pani smiled to herself, while Eve squinted at her from the side.After she laughed, Eve said, "You know, sometimes people don't necessarily laugh because it's funny, they laugh when they feel too embarrassed."

After listening to her words, Pani couldn't help laughing out loud again, almost to the point of tears.

[227] Rebirth under withering: the ordinaryness of the world · Part [-]

I remember when I was in my twenties and a half, my mother took me to Sister Finrica's place to pick out a New Year's gift for her friend.The adults of them have been hiding in the bedroom chatting, but in order not to be disturbed, Sister Fenlica slipped me a booklet and sent me away.

The supply store has a large window, facing the street outside, and because it is close to the courtyard, there are always people coming and going.The interior of the window is well-cared for—the floor is covered with soft and fluffy blankets, and there are many small toys on the tables, large and small. Those toys are cute in shape and bright in color. Regardless of their purpose, I like them very much. look.

I remember that day, I was wearing a light blue and purple gauze dress, my hair was decorated with colorful flowers, and my face was covered with shiny scales—my mother always liked to dress me up like this.Seeing no one around, I climbed into the window. For me back then, the window was quite wide, and it was a small world of freedom.

I hid my shoes in the locker, and then closed the door. I tidied up my dress, sat on the snow-white fluffy blanket, leaned against the table with toys on my back, and looked at what Fenlica told me. my brochure.The brochure showed anatomical diagrams of many different kinds of human body parts—it was an instruction-cum-pamphlet for a little massage toy, and I read it for a while and then quickly lost interest.

I didn't really want to come out of the window, so I took a nap there, and when I opened my eyes again, I saw someone standing outside the window, her face was almost pressed against the crystal glass, obviously staring at me.

We both startled each other.

After a brief moment of daze, she waved to me, and then left, with a look of annoyance flashing in her eyes.

It was only later that I figured it out. Maybe she saw me as an exhibit in the window.

The conversation in the bedroom was over, my mother couldn't find me, so she called my name, and I lingered in the cupboard for a while, and finally came out.

Before leaving, I stood on the street and took a look at the glass. I suddenly found that, unlike looking out from the inside, the inside of the window seen from the outside is so bright, and everything under the light is very attractive-yes, that thing is for display, for others to see.

After that day, I never got into a window again because I was growing up and couldn't be like a kid anymore.My mother said that if I grow up, I will be very beautiful, but I actually hate growing up, especially I don’t want to grow taller, and the adult body always has various problems, I think I look very beautiful now. good.

The incident that happened in the window should have been a small episode in my life, and it was dispensable in the eyes of others, but I found that I could not forget it, and that incident often appeared in my life from now on. In my dream, it seemed that it happened more than once.I dreamed that... many strangers were staring at me, wanting to take a closer look at my body, such a dream seems to never go away.

Growing up, always growing... My body is expanding every day, and after the onset of menarche, I feel the urgency of time. Although I know that this is a process that everyone has to go through, such changes still scare me.By consulting the information, I found that the growth seems to be related to the hypothalamus, pituitary and other parts. Regarding this question, I initiated several anonymous consultations in the hospital and got a positive answer. The doctors did not recommend me to do this Because I was only in my thirties at that time, not only my body was growing, but my brain also needed to develop.

The dislocation between body and mind is excruciating, but I have to make some changes—change the body...or compromise the mind.

I couldn't make up my mind, or I couldn't make up my mind, so I decided to go to the library and seek help from knowledge—maybe, it's true that I'm not smart enough, so I hope that wisdom and reason can help me regain my sanity.

You must know what happened after that, because it was with your help that I was able to achieve that in just 20 years.Sometimes, because of your encouragement, I even have an illusion that this is my home.

However, an illusion is just an illusion, and only unhappy people think -- thinking about those paranoid questions.Because they want to understand what is the root cause of their pain and how to solve it.Yet, like my contemplative predecessors, I fell into a deeper pain in such thinking—thinking deepened the pain, and it was at the same time a good medicine for the pain.Perhaps, sober people are painful, but their profound knowledge has given them a kind of self-confidence and optimism that is almost pathological, just like me and you.

Yes, I think you have the same symptoms as me... even some ulterior tendencies.We are like a pair of terminally ill patients, laughing loudly in the face of helpless reality.

I don’t know if you still remember this matter—once, I sighed deliberately in front of you, and said to you: “Look, I’ve been with you for so many years, and I’ve improved my studies, but my size…can I never grow taller?” I still remember you comforting me like this: “What’s this? Can't you see your own advantages?"

It's been a long time, but I still need to confess something to you - in fact, I have been taking some drugs at that time, in order to delay the growth of the body.

When I was in the preparatory class, I planned to choose Fuchte as my teacher, so I ran into you in that office that day. At that time, I was asking Fuchte some questions, but you always sneaked at me inadvertently—you don’t have to quibble, I am sure of this, because I was also peeking at you at that time.

You like me as a short person, and I also think you are more handsome than Fochite, so in my opinion, we chose each other at that time.

I originally thought that scholars are a group of serious people, they are not interested in those low-level desires, but later I found that they are just good at hiding.You always show your dislike for Forest City inadvertently, however, I have encountered more than one time... I saw you sitting alone in the office, doing that kind of thing to the shoes and socks I left on purpose.However, you don't have to mind, because I often fantasize about being like this and that with you in my spare time... We seem to be evened out.

So, why can't we take off the mask and clothing at the same time like the people in Forest City?Let me tell you a joke - you used to say that I am quiet and serious.

In short, I had a very happy time during that time, so I seldom thought about the windows.

I am like a bird perched on the window sill, only 20 years in your long life, I am very grateful to you, I will always remember you.

Your teachings, that knowledge... made me sober, and even, as others say—very talented—it brought me honors, but for me it served another purpose: I learned to think, so I strengthened my resolve.I always linger, because my decision is destined to make me lose everything and disappoint those who care about me, but there is only one life, do I really need to maintain a false appearance for others until the end of my life?

I love our race, our city, and elves—born beautiful and long-lived, a couple can be tens of years apart in age, a mother, daughter or brother can develop a lover-like relationship, and I didn’t know until I came to the library, met some people, and read some books, that the moral values ​​of Forest City are so unacceptable to outsiders. For this reason, I am also very glad that I am not them, and I don’t have to be judged because of those moral issues—I am neither a tool of society nor a property of my mother.

There is a saying that many people will hang on their lips, they will say-you are you, you have to be yourself.

I confessed my thoughts to my mother, and she listened to me patiently.That day, we turned off the lights in the room and talked almost all day.In the end, my mother seemed to understand my feelings. She cried very sadly, and even made me shake a little bit, but in the end she still encouraged me. She said that although people can never become the person they really want to be, But there's always something wrong with giving it a try.

Perhaps in her view, at least I was still alive and did not choose to lie down in the comfort cabin.

Yes, when I finished the creation of those books, it is indeed difficult to find things in this world that I can nostalgia for, but this does not mean that I should find rest and relief - I still seem to have a little curiosity about the world, about death.

In the past, I hoped to be looked at by people, to be looked at as an object, and now, I still have this idea, but now I may think a little more deeply.If I were a corpse, I wouldn't feel ashamed because someone stripped me naked, nor would I feel scared because they opened my chest to take out my still warm organs.My feelings, my pain, and my dignity as a human being have long since disappeared like my soul, and my thinking and dreaming brain has also become a mass of metamorphosed things at this time. My thoughts, together with my The world I felt ended together.

People rarely talk about their own death because it is so mysterious, so serious, that it seems so remote, and because of that, it fascinates me.Death is a door behind which lies darkness and the unknown...or nothing at all.Has anyone ever tried, stepping on this quiet and lonely threshold, looking back at the world?

I dreamed that I spread my arms and lay on my back on a broad tree stump as a sacrifice. The bright red blood wet my white cuffs and dripped down my wrists onto the soil covered with golden fallen leaves. Under the eyes of everyone, the thin and sharp wooden stake pierced my ribs and severed the connection between my heart and my limbs.

We are good at using metaphors to express thoughts or feelings that we cannot express exactly, but what I want to say is that when I was lying in the operating room, at the moment before falling asleep, I was indeed in pain and excitement, just like the girl in the dream who volunteered to be a sacrifice...was dismembered and destroyed in the eyes of the audience's fanaticism or sympathy.

I know that it is difficult for many people to accept my approach, such as you, you have never seen me, others think you are the kind of stubborn and unfeeling person, but I know, you must be feeling sorry for me.Previously, in order to give myself and others a period of buffer and adaptation, I did not complete all the items in the surgery plan, so I was still able to communicate with people, like a paralyzed patient—but soon, this situation will change. After the new round of surgery, I will lose the ability to hear and speak, and I will not be able to control my expressions. Since I can’t swallow, I can only eat through nasal feeding, so I also lost my sense of taste indirectly.

Perhaps, if I continue to do this, I will never have the chance to repent, because I will no longer have any means of asking for help.

Of course, it's obviously impossible to set up an impassable barrier, and it seems too boring to others-so I still have a weakness, which is hidden enough to be called a rarity, and... I I will leave this first time to you, Vido.

In creation, people always like to combine sex with those negative elements—anger, fear, madness, and even death. Therefore, these things that people avoid seem to become much more fascinating. Maybe the essence of sex is not depravity, but sacredness. It gives salvation in despair, so, in my current state, I think it should be preserved.

There have never been any descriptions or close-ups of virgins in Forest City, because many children don't know who their father is, let alone the first experience... They will only remember the most exciting time.I remember you said that you came from the "lake". Although we are all elves, the atmosphere there is completely different from that of Parnas. I heard that in your place—like some birds—most people have always followed the idea of ​​monogamy and loyalty?

Anyway, you know now, I haven't really had this experience yet... Vido, try it out - I've been imagining and looking forward to this day.

You know, Fenlica wrote this letter for me who couldn't move, which means that she also knows the secret between us. Of course, she is a trustworthy person, and she will help us keep it. Not only that, she also Will do what she can to help you.You know the location, as for the date and time, I will have her write it on the back of the letter, it will be a rest day, we will have a whole day without being disturbed...but maybe you won't come, but It's okay, I'll always be there, I won't run away.

Fenlica and the doctors have taken good care of me, and when you read this letter, it will prove that the operation has been completed - Vido, there is no need for any further dialogue between us, your visit is a response... use me, let me feel the pain, warmth and your manliness, please listen to my heartbeat and panting, let me bloom briefly in the long solitude until I faint.

If you want to take me home, that's fine too, I'll be yours, at your disposal, but maybe you need to take some time to take care of me.

Victor, I am the student who loves you the most, Rachel.

［228］Rebirth under withering: the ordinaryness of the peerless · Part [-]

Rachel's appearance was a little different from what Eve had imagined. The scholar was half lying in the window at this time, with silver-gray hair hanging loose, spreading on the ground like satin.She looks very small, and her height is estimated to be about the same as the two sisters Harsha and Alani, but her figure is exquisite - slender and soft legs, plump breasts and slender waist... She looks like a mature woman who has shrunk by one size, and her body and face are covered with a transparent and shiny soft film. It is hard to imagine that the person lying here is a real person.

The owner, Finrica, was also a quiet person, sitting by an open window reading a book when they entered the supply store.

Due to the language barrier, Eve and Erinde didn't communicate much with Fenlica. After Pani explained her purpose of coming, she led them to the direction of the window.

"Guess what Fenlika said just now?" Pani laughed, "She said she would treat these two curious children well."

"Kid?" Eve was stunned for a moment, and then suddenly said, "Based on age, it seems that he is indeed a kid."