Trouble With Horns

After I’d decided on the black market path, Dad contacted his people and ordered the parts we’d need to modify a pod. Mum’s stipulation that I stay at theirs during the transition turned out to be a bit bigger than I’d thought. I wouldn’t be using my own pod, I’d be using the enormous military pod that Dad had gotten from army surplus. The army pods were used for training and operating drones etc and were about as full immersion as you could get without paying for something that was custom made and horrifically expensive.

Additionally, the pod was hardened to withstand nuclear blasts and pretty much anything else apart from sustained exposure to the sun’s corona or some real fancy tools. They had been designed to allow the occupant to continue using drones even if the facility they were in was overrun. As such, they had failsafe upon failsafe built in. Mum’s reasoning was that if I was in that pod, I’d be the safest possible if something went wrong, and I couldn’t argue with that logic.

The parts would be arriving within a day or so of ordering them, and Dad had already gotten ready to modify the pod to allow for my transition. It sounded strange in my mind, to say that. My transition. My rebirth? Terry would go in and Tami would come out. At least on a physical level.

I still had to go to class, unfortunately, but at least I got to see Dawn there, so it wasn’t all bad, and I’d be coming home to my parent’s place where we were all staying now. Taylor was a saint during this whole time. She’d also moved back into our parent’s home for the next few days before I went into the pod, and we were getting to reconnect in a big way.

She told me all about her new guild in Cora, a group of tough raucous individuals who nevertheless had their hearts pointed in the right direction. They were very well leveled and geared by now, and they were using that advantage to try and tip the balance in a war between two nations. The opposing nation had a lot of strange shit going on and Taylor and her crew were determined to get to the bottom of it. It sounded very similar to what myself and Rora were investigating down in our neck of the woods.

Speaking of people in Cora, on wednesday morning I had a message forwarded to me from out of the game.

Message from Cora account, Alchemilla: Ummm heyyy Tami. Just wondering what you’re up to… I saw those videos of you fighting the angel thing and the pirates! SO cool! Anyway I was wondering what you are up to and if we could hang out again some time. I’ve got some cool things to show you too!

Message from Cora account, Tamipesagniyah: Hey Millie! What’s up? Yeah! We ended up in a port town called Chalaree or something. It’s down the river anyway.

Message from Cora account, Alchemilla: Chaillere? Cool! Is it.. Like, okay if I come and see you? If you’re not busy that is. I’m just bored or whatever.

Message from Cora account, Tamipesagniyah: Yeah go ahead. I’m not logging back in until friday night, so you have until then to make it to that port town I guess. It will be cool to see you!

Message from Cora account, Alchemilla: Thank you!! I’ll start walking right now!!!! See you on friday!!!!!!

That girl was all sorts of cute. Sounded like she was lonely or something, and she might be a help in our investigations. Oh but I hoped Rora was okay with her being around… damn I should have thought of that. Rora got funny around other people.

****

Fast forward to friday morning and I was walking into class and sitting down next to Dawn, offering her a smile as I did so. I’d taken to sitting with her in the back since we’d made up, where we could whisper about random crap while we listened or did our work.

Unfortunately, I was having a... problem where Dawn was concerned. I was almost sure I had some sort of feelings for her, but they were strange. It was like I’d spent far longer in her company, like we’d forgiven each other months ago or something. The way she’d give me a cheeky smirk when she made one of her dry jokes, or the way her eyes seemed to swallow me whole sometimes. It was really starting to mess with my head.

Smiling back, she asked, “Hey, the Sunday before our next week of class there’s some people holding a party from one of my other classes. You wanna go? I figure since Kristina is now like, public enemy number one and shit, we should try to find friends who don’t know her. You just know she’s going to spin some wild bullshit to try and make everyone hate us.”

Her words snapped me back to reality and I thought on the idea of going to that party for a moment. I’d be going as Tami by then, whatever that ended up looking like… maybe it would be fun to introduce myself to a new social group as my new and improved self? On the other hand, it would have to be the same day I first got my body… that might end up being a problem if things hadn’t gone well.

“I want to say yes… but I’m not sure I’ll be able to make it. If I can, I’ll text you and let you know,” I said apologetically.

“Alright. I’ll probably be going anyway, so I’ll flick you the details now and if you change your mind on the night, you’ll find me there,” she nodded understandingly, and a stray purple lock of hair drifted in front of her face to distracted me for a moment. Fuck her hair was nice. I was so distracted by it that I almost missed her change of subject. “You’ve seemed better since tuesday… did your um, problems get resolved? I hope it was okay that I messaged Taylor. I just… didn’t want you to go without real help you know?”

Damn, she was also way too good and kind underneath all the spikes and scowling for my little heart. Damn. It kinda blew my mind how my friend was still underneath all the emotional walls and stony looks that I’d seen and received since I dated Krissy. Dawn had withdrawn into herself, sure, but she was still in there if you took the time to dig her out.

I couldn’t help a grin spreading across my face due to both my reminiscing and her kind actions, “Yeah, your message to her ended up helping. Things aren’t fixed yet, but they’re looking hopeful.”

“Good… I um, hope things sort themselves out then,” she replied sincerely, a special little smile flitting across her lips.

“Me too…”

****

Friday afternoon could not be over soon enough. I was almost crawling up the walls, and if I’d had my claws I might have actually done so. Dawn was becoming more and more exasperated with my antics as I forgot basic knowledge and jiggled my legs all over the place.

When it was finally over, I gave her a quick hug goodbye and bolted for my parent’s place. It occured to me that this was the last time she’d be seeing “Terry”. Next time we met, probably at that party, if I was up to it, I would be Tami through and through. It was a frightening and exciting prospect. I wondered how she’d react to it all. I didn’t think she would have much of an issue with it in the end, but you could never really know.

When I finally got to my parent’s apartment, I threw the door open and rushed inside. Even something as simple as waiting for the door to open properly was too much for me now. I was nothing but a bundle of nervous excitement now. Taylor was the first to find me, intercepting me like an excited football player with a hug. It seemed she was suffering from a similar excess of excitement.

“Tami!” she exclaimed. “Holy shit it’s happening! I’m so happy for you!”

“You don’t have to tell me that! Show me, I want to see! Is Dad done with the pod yet?!” I asked breathlessly.

“Yeah! Come on!” she grinned, taking my hand and dragging me through the house.

We reached the pod room quickly, where Mum and Dad were both standing, their arms around each other’s waists. Mum looked pensive, while Dad looked satisfied.

“Hey Mum, Hey Dad,” I said excitedly.

“Hey Tami,” they replied in unison before Mum continued, pointing at the big chunky pod in the middle of the room, “The pod is finished, your Dad has been working through the night to get it done.”

The thing was massive and had more in common with a small tank than any commercial pod. It was built out of some composite material that I wasn’t familiar with and was a space-grey colour. It definitely looked safe, if nothing else. No one would be interfering with my changes bar Mum and Dad, who were the ones with the codes to the thing.

“Dad, where the hell did you even get this thing?” I asked in awe, walking around it to get a different views.

“Army surplus remember? They sell them pretty cheap if you know the right people, since they started outlawing some of the nastier drones. This is my personal one, but I guess I’ll have to buy a new one” he replied.

“Thanks Dad,” I said with a grateful smile.

As I was smiling at him, I noticed that Mum was not smiling. She looked like she was about to cry actually.

“What’s wrong mum?” I asked, knowing I probably wasn’t going to like the answer.

“It’s just that… this thing will probably make you… make you infertile,” she said, pausing as she wiped tears from her eyes.

“Not this again, Mum...” Taylor sighed, rolling her eyes.

“I just want grandchildren! I want little Tamis and Taylors to dote on and… Taylor your last few partners have been women and it’s starting to worry me,” Mum cried, although Dad beat a hasty retreat muttering something about a last minute adjustment.

Dad was a softie around Mum usually, and probably knew that if he stayed in the room he’d end up having to side with her. It actually made the fact he’d gone against her wishes and contacted his old peers all the more amazing. Defying Mum on such an important point for me was… amazing.

“Okay first off, you know that the technology to get women pregnant without a stupid dick involved has been around forever right Mum? Like, more than a hundred years or something. It’s been around longer than this damn corrupt as fuck city has been around!” Taylor said, getting angry now. “And like, secondly, We don’t owe you kids! I can’t believe we’re having this dumb argument again after we already hashed it out!”

“I know! It just doesn’t feel— “ she said, her tears flowing more freely now.

“Mum I swear to like, the coral on the bottom of the city or whatever that if you finish that sentence I am going to push you gently but firmly out that door and get Dad to revoke your privileges on that pod,” Taylor said dangerously.

“Mum, there’s so many options for having kids if I want them, same as there was for transitioning. It’s okay,” I said soothingly, playing good cop to Taylor’s bad cop.

“I know…” Mum sobbed. “I just… I know I was okay with it on tuesday, but I can’t get it out of my head that I’m… that I’m losing my son.”

“I could make the argument that you never really had one, but I don’t think that would make much of a difference,” Taylor said wearily.

“Mum… if I don’t do this, you’ll lose your ‘son’ pretty permanently and completely,” I said quietly.

“What do you mean?” she asked, her tears stopping momentarily.

“You know what I mean,” I said, really not wanting to spell it out.

“You’d… kill yourself?” she said, putting the morbid truth out there.

“Yup. Ever since I realised all of this, I’ve felt like I didn't have a future. I couldn’t see a future for myself… I haven’t been suicidal yet, but… I think it was only a matter of time. You know this too, I know you that you know this. It’s why we’re taking this risk, we talked about it on tuesday… so what’s going on?” I explained as gently as I could.

Mum finally deflated, looking like she’d given up on the argument. She ran her hands up and down her arms lightly and looked at the floor. “I’m sorry… you’re right. I know all of that is true… I’m just scared for you! I’m scared and I guess I acted foolishly. You know how badly this could go wrong though, right? You know that this has a chance of killing you? There is a very real chance that I could lose a child to this, and you could lose your life?”

“I know Mum, but this is the decision I want to make.” I said, reaffirming my resolve.

“Okay… I’m sorry I had this little meltdown…” Mum said, looking ashamed and apologetic. “How about... I can’t believe I’m saying this. How about you get yourself undressed, while I go and find your father?”

Oh. I’d forgotten I’d have to be naked for this. That was a bit uncomfortable, to put it mildly.

“Uh… okay,” I nodded, my cheeks heating up.

Mum left without a word after that, and I was left with just Taylor standing next to me. She quickly pulled me into a hug, and we stood there like that for long moments. Taylor had been incredible throughout all of this, and it really made me realise that we needed to hang out more again. Twins versus the world.

“I wanted to hug you before you got all naked,” she clarified, with a laugh.

“Yeah that’s a good plan… um, can you turn around though? This will be weird enough without you watching me take of each piece of clothing,” I chuckled awkwardly.

“Right,” she laughed again, doing as I’d asked and turning around.

I stepped back and quickly got undressed, throwing my clothing in the corner. I probably wouldn’t be needing them again anyway, they wouldn’t fit. Once everything was off my gross as fuck body, I covered my groin with my hands.

“Okay we’re good,” I said.

“You know, you weren’t this shy about your body when you accepted that call in Cora,” she remarked as she turned around.

“Yeah well, I’m actually proud to have that body, unlike this one. It’s not a nakedness thing, it’s an ‘I don’t want anyone to see me like this’ thing,” I explained.

“Right,” she nodded, then turned to watch as Mum and Dad came back in.

Mum looked much more composed than before, and Dad wasn’t carrying anything he’d need to do ‘last minute adjustments’. Typical Dad.

“So can you open the pod now? I feel really awkward standing naked like this in front of my family,” I joked awkwardly.

“Right. Sorry kiddo,” Dad chuckled, moving over to the display panel and typing in his code.

There was a percussive series of thunk sounds inside the pod before the lid opened with a hissing sound as the pressure inside and outside equalised. The lid itself opened in the middle, and there was only a small window at the top that would mean my upper torso was visible. A lot more modest than my full glass one back at my apartment. The crazy thing was the enormous bolts in the two halves of the lid doors.

“Why does that thing have two inch thick deadbolts?” I asked incredulously.

“So that you are safe should a nuke go off in UN City,” Dad replied sarcastically.

“Right. Can’t forget the nukes,” I said, shaking my head in bewildered awe. What a wild pod.

When the damn thing was finally open all the way, I could definitely see the changes Dad had made. All throughout the interior of the pod, strange implements and other apparatus were affixed to the interior walls. It was honestly a little intimidating, and I felt myself waver for just a moment. That particular one was a fucking scalpel! Far out.

In a similar manner to when I’d hit that log out button, I forced myself to move before indecision took it all away. I nestled myself carefully in the cradle among all the crazy new modifications, and looked out at my family. Mum looked anxious all over again, and was digging her nails into Dad’s arm while he smiled obliviously in at me. Even Taylor looked apprehensive, her eyes skimming over the crazy shit around me with more than a bit of worry.

“Alright. I’m ready,” I said.

Dad nodded and walked over to the panel, pulling Mum with him. I couldn’t see him with the massive doors of the thing in the way, but I heard the beep of him pressing the button, and just like that, I was being sealed inside.

The last thing I saw through the window as it locked in place and my consciousness was pulled elsewhere, was Taylor giving me a little wave, her cheeks streaked with tears that were pooling in the dimples of her smile.

****

When I appeared in the desktop of Dad’s pod, I discovered he’d set it up to be a spacious and cozy log cabin. My body was still the scan from a while back, and I felt a stab of disappointment and sadness at that. I needed to fix it.

“Computer, please request my appearance profile from the game Cora,” I said to the AI installed in this pod.

“Sending Request.” it said in a bored monotone.

I waited for several seconds until it spoke again, “Appearance Profile of Character Tamipesagniyah has been received with a note: Sending Default Human Appearance. Demonic Appearance can be sent if requested.”

“Computer, please apply the received Appearance Profile to my account,” I said almost urgently.

“Applying Appearance Profile Tamipesagniyah.”

The change was instant and jarring, but I felt a wave of relief wash over me as I looked down and saw my hands had changed into the smaller, more feminine ones I remembered from Cora. I was wearing shorts and a T-shirt, with no bra and no shoes, which meant I could see my toes too, as well as my poking nipples. Oh this was definitely right. This was so right. This was me, this was who I am. I made my way quickly to the nearest couch and sat down, curling into a protective ball and just relishing the feeling of my body.

“I want a blanket,” I demanded of the computer, and one appeared out of nowhere to gently settle over me.

I pulled it tighter around myself, enjoying the feeling of the rough wool on my soft skin. Oh it was so soft too. I lay on the couch for a long while just savouring it all, but also allowing the stress in my mind to unbundle and release. The extent of the toll that week had taken on me was only just now becoming apparent as I felt tears of relief and happiness roll down my cheeks to be soaked up by the wool blanket.

I allowed myself to cry it all out as I stretched out luxuriously on the couch, relishing the way my body flexed and moved. I couldn't wait for my reality to match this by even half. Even the gap between my things was nice, allowing me to… no, bad Tami. Don't masturbate in Dad's pod home. That's weird. Go find Rora and convince her to put her tongue inside you instead.

Before I could do that though, I had something I needed to do.

"Computer, start the Shaping program," I said excitedly.

"Shaping program has booted. Would you like to upload an Appearance Profile and begin?" the computer asked.

Should I just use the one from Cora, or should I modify it a bit? Make myself look more like Taylor maybe? We were twins after all… but no, that would be odd. The image I was wearing now felt right on a scarily accurate level. It was like the random character function had known exactly what my ideal body was and put me in it. Maybe… maybe it had known? Surely not though…?

Regardless, it was time to do things. I was going to choose this body, because it was me. Simple as that.

"Yes please," I told it, giving the command that would hopefully change my life for the better. “Upload the profile I am currently wearing to the program please.”

"Shaping program active. Estimated time until completion: Seven days, twenty hours," the computer replied.

Seven days and twenty hours until I would be finished, like a cake in an oven or something. Damn, my heart was beating so fast. This was really, actually, properly happening. I’d gone from a happy guy six months ago, to a depressed one two weeks ago, to… a girl in another week? Fingers crossed? It seemed absolutely surreal!

"Thank you,” I said, trying to get my nervousness under control. “Now please log me into the game Cora.”

Time to while away the week by punching things and hopefully making out with a cute girl.

"Logging in. Beginning hand over."

"Welcome back to Cora… Tami," a kind feminine voice said warmly, right as my vision went dark.