Trouble With Horns

“We got a quest to investigate that Baron dude,” the tank dude said, pushing in and forcibly making space between me and Elena.

“He’s been stockpiling a lot of raw materials, suspicious ones like steel and cloth,” Elena said, wiggling a little on the spot before pulling herself up into a more confident stance. “Some ducal intelligence dude hired us.”

“We’re not meant to tell others!” someone blurted, pushing through the group. It was the healer I’d taken the ring from. She was staring at me angrily, so I smiled tentatively and held her ring out for her.

“Here, I picked this up too,” I said. She was cute too, but it was clear she was straight, so I didn’t try any shenanigans with her.

Watching the ring change hands, Elena shook her head at the healer. “They’re on our side, even if they don’t realise it.”

“Oh?” I asked, tilting my head.

Dawn was the one who answered, reaching up with a hand to fluff the hair at the back of my neck. “Steel and cloth. Two things that armies need in large amounts. This Baron is definitely up to something, and after the way he acted when we bumped into him the other morning, probably not alone.”

“Exactly,” tank boy growled. “That’s why it’s so fucking stupid that you intervened!”

“I’m not sure attacking their caravan was the smart move there buddy,” I shot back dryly. “After all, when the merchant gets back to the city he’ll probably accuse you of banditry.”

“Told you so,” Elena snorted, giving him a look, then throwing one my way. “This fucking game, I swear. Way too intense for me.”

Dawn added an elegant black and red wing to my shoulder and smiled at the group of assembled randoms. “Look, guys, we’ll hit you up if we figure anything out. Chances are we’ll end up on the same or a similar quest at some point. How about I add Elena here and we can hit you up if we find anything?”

Tank boy looked skeptical but Elena quickly overrode him. “Yeah! Thanks, that would be super helpful. I know you have lots of contacts and stuff. I mean you’re actual nobility so… yeah.”

“Sorta,” I shrugged, glancing over at Dawn. “Anyway, uh… sorry about killing you. We really do need to get going though.”

“Yeah, sure. No problem, Tami,” Elena smiled, doing a funny, awkward little movement with her hands. “Uh, I mean Lady Tami.”

“Oh god, no, please don’t call me that, you’re a player,” I grimaced.

Surprising me, she let out a husky, genuine chuckle. “Good, good. You pass the test.”

****

A butler opened the door for us when we arrived home, and we gave him a nod and a smile for his efforts. The whole servants thing was still really fucking weird, but we had to just deal, I guess. Plus, if we made them stop, they’d probably just find work with some noble family who didn’t give a shit about them. Best to just treat them right and pay them well.

“She knew who we were, huh?” Dawn mused, hanging her outer coat up in the coatroom.

“A gay girl knows who the two demonic lesbians are?” I remarked sarcastically. “You don’t say.”

Her arms snaked around my waist and she laid her chin down on my shoulder. “Don’t be snarky, babe.”

“Sorry,” I sighed, leaning back into her. “That came out way meaner than I wanted it to. No, scratch that, I didn’t want it to come out mean at all.”

The interior door burst open as we were about to turn and make out, revealing our stewardess, Leila. Her brows were knit together with a cautious sort of worry.

“Leila, what’s up?” I asked.

She shuffled her feet for a moment, nodded to herself, and puffed out a breath. “You asked us to refurbish the armoury, remember? I am afraid that the renovations have hit a snag, and we’re not entirely sure how to approach the problem.”

Dawn and I shared a glance. “Well, what’s the problem?”

“It appears that there are… ruins, below the house,” she continued, smoothing the black feathers down on the back of her hand. “Imperial Parcosian ruins, to be exact. The house was built on them, and even incorporated parts of the structure into the new.”

Scratching my arm, I tried to recall what the hell that was, but gave up quickly with a shrug. “What is Imperial Parcosian?”

“The time before the kingdom,” Dawn said, ever the lore nerd. “The Kingdom of Parcosia was formed out of the ashes of the Joriean Empire, also called the Parcosian Empire by historians. They ruled the islands and much of the western coast of the inland sea too. They collapsed a while back. It’s why so many of the nations to the weeast of Pagutum are similar. A thousand or so years ago, they were all under one ruler.”

“Oh, so this is like… Roman ruins?” I asked, watching in amusement as the NPC’s eyes glazed over at the mention of real world history.

“A vaguely accurate analogue, probably,” Dawn mused. “The empire formed from the human rebellion that overthrew the Aurellings.”

“Okay, so this place is like… from then. Let’s go check it out, shall we?” I asked, excited at the prospect of having a possible dungeon beneath our house, of all places.

We followed Leila through the nonsensical and twisting passages of the ancient house until we came to the armoury. It had been an old, dusty, and unused space previously, but now it was all sawdust and scattered tools. The workmen could be heard just down the hall, having a raucous time while they waited for us to inspect the ruins.

What they had uncovered was a limestone wall behind the wooden paneling. It had a small hole in it, enough that you could see there was a dark void beyond the wall.

“What’s behind there?” I asked, glancing in our steward’s direction. “Not the ruin, I mean. What’s behind there in the house? How much room can there possibly be hiding behind that wall?”

Leila ghosted her fingers over the ancient wall, the feathers of her hair wafting slightly to clear out some dust that billowed about her. “This house is old, and by the looks of things, possibly even older than the original Kingdom of Parcosia. There are a great many secrets and unexplained spaces between rooms.”

“So, the answer is a lot of room, then,” I replied dryly. “Time to make this hole bigger then, eh?”

I’d left my armour in the coatroom, but my gauntlets would always be with me, waiting in my inventory. I’d feel naked without them there. Equipping them took only a moment, and after a brief glance at Dawn to give her time to tell me I was about to do something stupid, I squared up.

My gauntlet’s thrusters shifted into position with a series of mechanical clicks, followed by the sound of the pilot flame flickering to life. Drawing my fist back, I chose a spot on the wall to hit and launched myself.

The strike was lightning fast, and it all but detonated the ancient limestone like a shaped charge had been placed on the wall. Rubble and dust billowed out from the hole that was now wide enough for two people to walk through, if they didn’t mind getting intimate. The force of the blow had also been such that I didn’t weaken the surrounding structure too much. A quick, precise, and clean hit.

“There we go,” I said, grinning proudly at my girlfriend. “Hole, embiggened.”

“Yes, yes, well done,” she chuckled, leaning in to kiss my cheek. “Now let’s see what’s on the other side.”

From inside my gauntlet, I twisted a finger and hit the button to activate the flashlight, then lifted it. The room beyond the hole was floored with plain tan coloured ceramic tiles, while the walls were more of the limestone. It was very utilitarian and functional, even the decaying furniture.

Stepping through the impromptu door, I did a slow circle with my flashlight, inspecting everything of interest. There was some old, dusty armour in the corner, now just a pile of steel that had once been held together by leather. A bed sat in the corner, its sheets long since decayed into dust. The desk opposite it had the remnants of some sort of brass lamp sitting in it, but no cable to indicate an external power source.

“This looks like… someone’s quarters?” I mused aloud, squatting to get a close up look at the lamp.

“The armour is nice, though,” Dawn said, approaching it. “It’s got some black lacquer on it, with some minor gold inlay. This was probably an officer’s room, then?”

I glanced over at her. “So this place was once… what, a barracks?”

“Seems like it,” she said, glancing around the room again. “There’s no door, though. Isn’t that kind of odd?”

Tilting my head, I crouched down in the unused corner of the room and brushed my steel fingers through the dust. “There’s a hatch, though.”

“Well then… that’s ominous,” she said, taking the four steps to reach me. “Is it locked?”

Dusting it off a little more, I revealed a small hole where a padlock might have gone, but there was nothing in the hole. “I don’t think so.”

“Okay, clearly this needs to be explored, but first I think we should shore up the room and build a nice solid steel door where the hole in the wall is,” Dawn said, turning to look at the hole in question. “We don’t want anything crawling out of that hatch, do we?”

QuietValerie