Offer your allegiance to Chaos!

Where is the end of this journey?

When did the 12.7mm sniper bullet shoot at him?

Ashe almost couldn't remember clearly, and even had this dream, almost couldn't dream clearly.

He just walked to the door of the room in a haze.

It was evening, and from the window in the narrow corridor, the dim setting sun hit his hand, casting a long shadow.

The yellowed key goes through the rusted keyhole, the old door creaks, and the noise of the students on the playground outside, the old lady who forgot to bring the key in the corridor calls the door full of anger, the neighbor's teacher and his wife Various voices yelling at the child for failing the exam are intertwined.

Ashe pushed open the door, and the windows in the living room were not closed. The cold winter wind cut like a knife, cutting the books scattered all over the floor to pieces, and cutting them into a sea of ​​white.

Step by step, he stepped over the snow-white paper and walked towards the window.

The books had long been piled up into a hill, allowing him to cross the low barrier and step up to the window sill.

It seemed that everything had been foreshadowed. When she actually stepped on the window sill, Ashe found that her heart was not shaken at all, and she was as calm as a calm dead spring.

Looking down on the world for the last time, the huge sunset has put away the last trace of its outline, but under the afterglow of the sunset, the city is still bustling and bustling. Although it has nothing to do with him, Ashe still smiles slightly.

"Mom, I'm back."

He murmured softly.

Jump down.

At the moment when the long wind howled, Ashe remembered it clearly.

It turned out that there had never been a 12.7mm bullet shot at him.

……

……

reality.

Ashe stood up suddenly and touched her eyes.

Already in tears.

Just like a newborn baby, for the first time since he was born on the continent of Terra, he felt alone like a tidal wave.

Chapter 50 Famous Paintings of the Moon

It was late at night, and Ashe was lying on the sofa, covered with a thin blanket. The moonlight tonight was very dim, and it could hardly pass through the tightly drawn curtains, making him unable to see the outline of everything around him.

The darkness engulfed him silently like the maw of a beast.

But what is more terrifying than the darkness is the loneliness that surges like a tide in my heart.

The loneliness I haven't experienced in 15 years.

Some kind of power erased the last memory of his previous life, and even the gloomy emotions of his entire life. From the time he was born on the continent of Terra, the past life that he could recall in his mind was just like a movie in the eyes of the audience. But it is difficult to make waves.

In a sense, he was born on Terra as a newborn.

A mutilated newborn.

In the following 15 years, that kind of power still wiped out all his redundant emotions, whether it was parting from Hemer and Serea, or betraying Ms. Texas and Sicily, big things can be dealt with indifferently Of.

The only time when there was a vague breakthrough was the "love" for the "teacher" brought about by self-hypnosis, but is that really love?There was a flash of excitement, but there was no long echo left behind.

Yes, his 15 years are incomplete.

Missing the previous life, missing the present life.

However, at this moment, half of it, the incompleteness of the previous life, was completely made up in an instant.

Ashe remembered everything clearly, all the gloom, emptiness, and loneliness, all the turbulent black sludge deposited in the deepest part of his heart.

"Mother……"

He mumbled unconsciously, repeating the only bond in his previous life that wasn't even a bond.

There were no tears, the tears flowed out in a dream, and after waking up, they stopped.

There is no sadness, the heart does not hurt as if it is torn, and the throat does not feel suffocated.

But it's just... everything is different.

Reality and phantoms flash alternately in front of my eyes. I am clearly in a dark living room, but there are always snow-white papers flying all over the sky in front of my eyes. , a messy twist.

Ashe threw off the blanket, got up slowly, staggered and groped in the dark, looking for the location of the bathroom.

He touched the wrong place several times, because the layout of this room was different from the one he was familiar with.

Finally finding the right spot, Ashe buried her head in the sink and turned the cold water tap to its fullest.

Under the bone-piercing ice water, the phantom finally dissipated. Ashe raised her head, let the water droplets wet her clothes, and stared at the person in the mirror with the remaining moonlight.

He is still a "beautiful" young man, but the expression in his eyes is gone, leaving only red and swollen eye sockets, hair messed up like a chicken coop, and the hollow eyes make the whole face look lifeless.

There was a long blank moment in Ashe's mind.

He failed to recognize the face in the mirror.

Is this... me?

The phantom overlapped with reality again, and he saw a 29-year-old face, which was still handsome, but if it was similar to the person in the mirror, the only thing left was the same indifference, alienation and lifelessness in his eyes.

"I……"

Ashe murmured, not even knowing what he wanted to say, but before the next word came out, he coughed heavily.

It is an uncontrollable stress response, resulting from swelling and pain in the throat.

Ashe shuddered violently, only then did she realize that something was wrong with her body. Since waking up, her head was a little dizzy, her legs were heavier than before, her nose was a bit blocked, and her ears began to make faint ringing. It's almost like being sick...

But how could he be sick?Ever since he acquired the immortal body of the Book of Slaanesh, all his ailments have left him far away, and even the fatal wounds of severed head and pierced heart can be revived in an instant!

unless……

Ashe stretched out her hand, put her index finger on the slightly sharp edge of the mirror, and swiped hard.

Blood lines emerged, and blood beads rolled down.

Ash stared at her fingers firmly.

When three seconds later, the pain was still paralyzing Ashe's nerves, he finally understood the reality.

——The body of immortality, disappeared.

Ashe's brain seemed to be a little dull, and he stared blankly at his index finger for a while before taking it into his mouth belatedly, using saliva to speed up the healing of wounds.

The rust-like smell of blood spread in the mouth, a taste I hadn't tasted for many years.

Ifrit's words echoed in his ears.

"From god...to man."

Ashe muttered to herself.

He tried to summon the Book of Slaanesh in his mind, but his thoughts went nowhere.

The Book of Slaanesh, the Immortal Body, and even Amy seemed to have disappeared from his world.

Is it deprived?Or is it blocked?Ashe didn't know, all he knew was that this was the worst moment in his 15 years.

Like loneliness, the strange emotion called "fear" emerged from the bottom of my heart for the first time after 15 years.

"You have to... find someone to help you..."

Ashe muttered to herself, her dizzy and sluggish brain struggled for a long time before she remembered the name as if grabbing a life-saving straw.

"Hemer... yes, Hemer... this is Hemer's room..."

Under the 29 years of accumulated gloomy emotional memories, the 15 years of emotionless memories seem so fragile, but Aixi still remembered that at this moment, he is no longer as lonely as in the last time of his previous life, he is close at hand fetters.

Homer, Homer.

This name is like a candle lit in the long dark night.

"Hemer—!"

Ashe leaned on the wall and staggered back to the living room, calling that name in a hoarse voice.

"He-mo-!"

However, no matter how he called, the dark living room was still as silent as a tomb.

Fear and loneliness gripped Ashe's heart again.

Why isn't Homer here?He slept on the sofa, and with her temperament, even if it was a big matter, she would wake him up first and explain clearly, instead of leaving him alone.

Moreover, he clearly remembered that Hemer was cooking before falling asleep, didn't she come to wake him up after she was done?

In the face of such illogical questions, for no reason, a ridiculous guess appeared in his mind:

——Hemer, does it really exist?

——Is the memory of my 15 years in Terra all fake?

——Am I still in that room full of books, in the long loneliness, lost my mind, fantasized about suicide, reborn in another world, and got a book of Slaanesh for no reason? Books, meet all kinds of people, and are about to achieve happiness... Didn't you suddenly wake up until just now?

——No, not sober, what I see in the mirror is still the appearance of 15 years old, maybe I am still deeply insane, and what I see is still hallucinations, but there is a trace of purgatory clarity in this hallucination.

These flashes of thought filled Ashe's mind in the blink of an eye—because the feelings of 29 years poured into the hollow of Ashe's heart like a tsunami in an instant, and the lake of memory of 15 years was washed to the shore. Far away and dry, it is really blurred like a phantom.

And emotions are always like a plague, like spreading cancer cells, like weeds that have ignited wildfire, as long as they start a head, they will spread unscrupulously.

Ashe's remaining rationality tried to argue with emotions, desperately forcing herself to recall the conspiracy revealed by Ifrit in the garden, convincing herself that all this was a trap of the mastermind behind the scenes.

But the tragedy of human beings is that reason is not only weak and helpless in the face of emotions, but also often kills each other-the other half of reason quickly laughs at the first half. Is there really any black hand that can directly deprive the Book of Slaanesh?He's so powerful, why did 'they' choose him as the champion seed?The logic of this matter doesn't make sense at all, it's more like his hallucinations are making up and making up and can't go on. It just so happened that he was seriously ill again, so he awakened his main consciousness to clean up the mess.

So, the emotions spread again.

Until the darkness nearly engulfed Ashe.

He stood where he was, motionless, and no longer shouted.

Because if you move your feet again, you may step on the book that was thrown on the ground.

Because if you shout again, there may be screams from neighbors being disturbed.

Because... no matter how much you ask for help, you may not be able to see the person in the "phantom".

The body is getting more and more uncomfortable.

Her forehead was as hot as a stove, and her legs were heavy as if she was hanging on a heavy weight. It became more and more difficult to breathe, and Ashe felt that she was almost unable to stand still.

Consciousness gradually sank into blur, Ashe supported the wall, sat down softly, leaned against the wall, and closed her eyes.

Darkness is still darkness.

Maybe, just dying like this is fine... probably, it was because he was about to die that he would wake up from the hallucination and feel the last sliver of clarity in his life...

At the end of the dream, the endless sense of emptiness spread over her heart again. Ashe felt as if she had fallen into a bottomless abyss, falling, falling continuously, the feeling of weightlessness made her whole heart feel empty, and she could even Take this to forget the despair and gain incomparable relaxation.

The concept of time also gradually disappears in the emptiness, making one wonder how long it has passed.

until new voices sounded.

It was the sound of footsteps outside the door, coming step by step, like wearing long leather boots, the solid heels hitting the metal floor, making a thick sound, in the silent night, every step is like hitting with a furnace hammer heart.

At this time, Ashe's consciousness had weakened to the point where he could hardly respond to external stimuli, but like some kind of instinct, when the voice gradually approached, his eyelids opened with difficulty.

It's still dark.

But no more silence.

The metal sound of the door lock turning is like the setting sun of that day, the yellowed key passing through the rusted keyhole, the old door creaking, the laughter inside and outside the building, and the wind cutting the white sea of ​​pages.

But this time, it wasn't death that opened the hole.

is light.

Moonlight streamed on her golden pupils.

The owl's feathers glisten.

Chapter 51 please don't leave me here alone

The smell of disinfectant.