Nuke Miko: Chronicles of America

Who else would dare to drive a car like this on the highway?

"...We were driving on the highway, and suddenly a notice popped up, saying that Mercedes-Benz has launched a new user experience package, and the owner needs to pay an annual fee of $1999 to unlock the brake booster function, and then the brakes can no longer be stepped on. Moved."

Yu Daoan wolfed down the bread Ma Tong handed over, drank the mineral water, and said, "...No way, we had no choice but to get off the expressway, drive the car to this caravan camp at a high speed, check carefully, and found that Mercedes-Benz promulgated the latest charging system.

After buying a Mercedes-Benz, all the functions in the car have a trial period of one to three months, and after the trial is over, subscription fees are required.

What's more, this clause can be retroactive, and anyone who has bought a Mercedes-Benz for more than three months must also pay for it!

These include paying to unlock the brake booster function, paying to unlock the steering wheel booster function, and paying to unlock the navigation function.

When we finally got the car to the RV camp and stopped, another notice popped up, saying that we had to pay to unlock the door..."

Yu Daoan lamented, "...the car was obviously bought with money, but it was locked outside the car, and you couldn't get in if you couldn't open the door."

"...Absolutely! Has Mercedes-Benz switched to mobile games? What kind of Internet thinking is this?"

Ma Tong was dumbfounded when he heard that, "...does the sold Mercedes-Benz still belong to the car company, or does it really belong to the owner?"

"...Then what happened later? Did your relative refuse to send money to the Mercedes-Benz company?" Qiu Shanhui asked curiously.

"... Of course, my relative is planning to spend money to eliminate disasters, but things are not that simple!

Even if the car owner admits it and wants to pay Mercedes-Benz, he has to register online first, and then wait for manual review.

As for the snail speed of manual review in European and American countries, everyone must know. "

Yu Daoan finished eating the bread, wiped his mouth and shrugged his shoulders, "...Fortunately, the remaining five cars in my relative's house are all cheap second-hand Japanese cars, and they don't have so many mentally handicapped functions, so my relative is going to take them This Mercedes was hooked up in the back and towed."

"...But this car...isn't it still here?" Ma Tong looked at the Mercedes-Benz behind him and asked in confusion.

"...Because documents, briefcases and other valuables were in the Mercedes-Benz, and the doors were locked, my relative asked his eldest son to smash the window with a hammer in order to remove the contents of the car first. Let's talk about things.

Unexpectedly, just after the window was smashed open, this broken car popped up another message [vehicle damaged, for the safety of you and others, the vehicle is temporarily out of use], and then the four wheels were directly locked, the engine was forced to shut down, and the whole car could not be used. son moved. "

Yu Daoan spread his hands, "...in such a situation, my relatives couldn't wait any longer, so they had to take the elderly and children to drive the other five cars to Florida, and asked me to stay and look at this Mercedes-Benz.

Next, the [Mongols] gang came in.

There was a hacker among them, who tossed the Mercedes-Benz with a laptop for a long time but couldn't unlock it, so he beat me up to vent his anger..."

Well, this thing is really magical enough. If a century-old brand-name car company becomes a kidnapper, it won’t work if a real bandit steals the car?

Akiyama Megumi and the witches around her shook their heads again and again, lamenting that this matter was outrageous, and at the same time being puzzled.

——No matter how much you want money, you can't do this kind of stupid thing like smashing the brand, unless you don't plan to sell new cars.

But a terrible fact is that Mercedes-Benz seems to really not plan to sell new cars anymore...

What a hassle to build a car!How can it be easy to collect IQ tax?

"...I know the ins and outs of this matter. Because my RV is also a Mercedes-Benz brand, and it was also blackmailed just now."

Abby, the disease witch from Thailand, suddenly interjected, pointing to her relatively small Mercedes-Benz four-wheel-drive luxury car and said, "...the engine, the doors, the brakes, the steering wheel, and the rear-wheel steering, everything has to be closed. Money, the annual fees add up to more than [-] US dollars!

Hey, thanks to the great lack of virtue of Mercedes-Benz, I didn't know that there is such a thing as selling a car twice in this world! "

——According to Abby, under normal circumstances, a century-old shop like Mercedes-Benz should not have such a vicious appearance.

But is this world normal now?

Everyone knows, of course it is completely abnormal!

That being the case, why is it surprising that Mercedes-Benz has come up with some abnormal, immoral, or heinous marketing strategies?

——Mercedes-Benz's automobile production line is affected by the global epidemic, and various spare parts are always in short supply, and it is currently in a state of suspension.But the company's expenses could not be reduced.

So many employees who took sick leave could not be fired directly, and the bank was urging Mercedes-Benz to repay the loan every day.

As a car company, you can't produce new products, but you want customers to pay, so what should you do?

Naturally, sell the Mercedes-Benz that has already been sold for a second time!

Creating air chips out of thin air has always been a brilliant move of European and American politicians; and making air products out of thin air is also the specialty of European and American companies!

"...Look, if I don't pay for the brake assist service, the brakes won't go down at all.

If I don't buy the steering wheel power assist service, the steering wheel will use five kilograms of force to turn it.

Even the gas pedal, air conditioner and headlights have to be registered as VIP users, and each item can be paid for separately before they can be used. "

Abby, the disease witch, took her tablet and showed the latest user experience (extortion) package announcement from Mercedes-Benz to the bewildered Akiyama Hui and the others, "...the most outrageous thing is the car-machine system. If you don't If you pay, you need to watch an advertisement for 5 minutes to start the ignition after getting in the car. During the whole journey, the speaker continuously broadcasts various business advertisements, which cannot be turned off, and navigation and entertainment functions cannot be used..."

"...I can't turn off the radio while driving, so I have to listen to advertisements all the way? Is this too exaggerated?"

Akiyama Hui frowned, "...what if I dismantle or break the speaker?"

"...How can it be so simple! Mercedes-Benz has taken precautions against this! If you remove the horn, or break the horn, the car will report an error in self-test and cannot be turned on, and the engine will be forced to shut down and the wheels will be locked. Then you will You can only ask a tow truck to take your Mercedes-Benz to the 4S store."

Abby spread her hands, "...you have to pay an annual fee of 4999 US dollars to become a VIP user of Mercedes-Benz, you can skip the advertisements with one click, and close the commercial advertisements. You can also unlock GPS navigation, and play music, videos and other entertainment. Features……"

PS: I am thinking about a question. If you time travel to President Roosevelt before World War II, how can you make the United States lose World War II?

In the early days of the Pacific War, what would happen if all the remaining navy and army were brought to the Philippines regardless of whether they fought a decisive battle at the beginning?

Chapter 220: In the era of the Internet of Things, you must never leave your hands!

In short, after listening to the descriptions of Abby, the disease witch, and Yu Daoan, an unlucky foreign student, Akiyama Hui had to admire the brains of Mercedes-Benz.

Is this turning a Mercedes-Benz car into a krypton gold mobile game?

Let the car become more powerful as you recharge it like a game account? !

Then, the car can't be driven at all without krypton gold?And the car will automatically lock and stop when the network is disconnected for a certain period of time?

Do you think that Mercedes-Benz is selling cars, but it is actually selling software services?

In this way, in the absence of new cars, Mercedes-Benz can continue to scrape money from owners who have already bought Mercedes-Benz.

——Just like the DLC of many games nowadays is the main body, and the main game is a trial version that requires you to spend a lot of money to buy... What's more, without this trial version, you are not eligible to buy the main body!

Moreover, brakes are only available to paid members, doors are only available to paid members, GPS navigation is only available to paid members, air conditioning is only available to paid members, automatic reversing is only available to paid members, and the car automatically plays advertisements and cannot be turned off. Pop-up ads are still black...

Is such a thing still called a car?It's clearly a krypton pig butcher with the Mercedes-Benz logo!

Hey, the most brilliant business method is not to sell sand to the Saudis, but to sell you what belongs to you.

Mercedes-Benz, which can't make cars, still has the ability to manufacture products out of thin air, which really makes Akiyama Hui unable to help but praise the table.

"...Hey, I think this level of krypton gold is not enough. It is recommended to introduce a card draw mechanism. 1000 US dollars will draw 1 round, and a random unlock function will be obtained. 20 rounds are guaranteed to upgrade the speed of the car, and the speed limiter is released for one week. No speed upgrade Then you can only drive at a speed of [-] kilometers per hour, and you can't go to the high speed..."

The little witch Akiyama Megumi said so, but unexpectedly, Dolores, a red-necked bag-carrying girl from Louisiana, spoke with a wry smile.

"...Deere Agricultural Machinery has already been engaged in the matter of drawing cards to unlock functions. The farmers in my family have had enough of this!"

——It turns out that regarding these charging innovations of "Internet thinking", in fact, intelligent agricultural machinery in the United States has long been applied.

Not only the various basic functions of intelligent agricultural machinery, all have corresponding time-limited or charge-by-the-time standards, but also, in modern agricultural machinery such as intelligent tractors and intelligent harvesters, sensors are installed everywhere, and any unimportant If the parts are damaged, the machine will refuse to start up. Even if the farmer can fix it by himself, it is useless. He must go to the after-sales service personnel to clear the fault code... Of course, he will charge money.

Who made American Redneck's manual skills so powerful that if there were no strict restrictions, the manufacturer's maintenance department would not be able to make money?

In addition, many smart machine tools are still monitored remotely after they are sold. Once the monitoring is interrupted or the machine is detected to be misused, the machine will be locked or even self-destructed!And even if you use it well, the authorization after installation is only one year, and the manufacturer needs to send someone to bring a password disk to extend it every year.

Of course, there is an extra fee for the extension of the authorization, and it is still a tricky name, and the fee is arbitrary, and it will not stop until the buyer is hollowed out!

——Now is the era of "Internet of Things", and the products are directly connected to the company, so don't think that the products sold to you are yours!

This is dreaming!

Our company's stuff will always be our company's stuff, even if it's sold to you, it's still our company's stuff!

What's more, due to the advancement of technology, the durability of modern electronic products has been greatly improved, the service life is very long, and it is not easy to be damaged.

The buyers of electronic products are naturally happy about this, but the capitalists are very unhappy: if a home appliance is sold, it will be used for more than ten or twenty years, and it has not been damaged, so users must replace it.So who will sell the new products they produce later?

It is the limit for a family to buy at most one or two TV sets. If a TV set will last for 15 years, how will the manufacturer survive?

However, if the manufacturer deliberately produces a bunch of junk that breaks down every three days for this purpose, then no customer will come to buy it.

Not to mention, modern electronic products have a warranty period, which deliberately reduces the reliability of the product, and in the end it is the manufacturer responsible for the warranty that is unlucky.

What?No warranty?Then customers will all go to buy similar products with a warranty period, and your company will be waiting to go bankrupt!

In short, according to the ideal of capitalists, on the one hand, manufacturers cannot lower the quality of their products casually, otherwise they will not be able to attract customers; User update.

——How to achieve the goal of "precise scrapping"?It seems that the time bomb can only be planted during production!

Therefore, in order to solve this contradictory problem, the manufacturer came up with a very innovative invention, that is, to install a clock circuit in their products. Once the product has passed the warranty period, it will not be able to start and work normally, forcing customers to buy it. New products, and avoid the trouble of the warranty period.

In all kinds of modern electronic consumables, manufacturers also bury life detection circuits, and the routine is even darker-at most only 1/3 of the actual service life of the consumables, they will be intentionally damaged according to the predetermined procedure. , to urge buyers to spend money on purchasing new consumables again.

——Imagine that when the manufacturer sells you a car, it installs a time bomb in it, and it will explode automatically after the warranty period expires, forcing you to buy a new car!

Hey, although many inventions and innovations are aimed at improving and developing productivity, there are also inventions and innovations aimed at limiting and destroying productivity!

Is such an evil invention that deliberately prevents human beings from freeing their hands really necessary?

From the perspective of human civilization, it is obviously worthless.

But capitalists like to do this very much-who doesn't want to lie down and collect money?

Of course, where there is oppression, there is resistance - there is no doubt that there must be masters who secretly sell cracked software and allow customers to flash their phones for a fee.

For such smart electromechanical products, if you find a private seller on Taobao, they will usually write "the firmware has been cracked" in the store details.

And those who are willing to go to the official flagship store to honestly buy genuine fire are only a minority.

However, if you choose to crack it privately, it means giving up the warranty and after-sales service.

If there is any problem at that time, or if you step on other pits that the manufacturer has buried in advance, you will have to bear the risk yourself.

Not to mention, apart from the few buyers who are program masters themselves, ordinary people who don't know much about computers have a hard time trusting the cracked software from the underground - who knows if there is any Trojan horse hidden in it, Will it send you a surprise?

Don't overestimate the integrity of bad programmers and hackers who write cracked software!

Considering that the Internet has been popularized all over the world for so many years, there are still a lot of people who don’t even know how to go online... Therefore, as long as the exploitation of capitalists has not broken through the bottom line of consumers, the above-mentioned cyberpunk-style services (blackmail) will be can last.

——The so-called luxury goods are basically sold at high prices by collecting IQ taxes.Since the IQ tax has already been collected, why can't it be collected again?

What's even more frightening is that, in order to avoid being the target of public criticism, while Mercedes-Benz is conducting "one car N sales" and relying on "service (extortion)" to make a profit, it also took the opportunity to set up an industry alliance. Tesla, BMW, Cadillac and other famous European and American car companies have also joined in one after another.

Although the "Corona" epidemic is getting worse, the industries in Europe and the United States are in a mess, and the production of new cars of major famous car companies is generally suspended, at least full of problems, but the greed of capital has not diminished at all. Banks, on the contrary, are more eager to get money.

——Most of the stocks of large modern European and American companies are not in the hands of individual shareholders, but are held by investment banks, so they only focus on short-term returns.

Because for investment banks, it doesn't matter whether the company goes bankrupt or not. The important thing is whether it can benefit itself at the expense of others and make a lot of money before bankruptcy.

The car companies are forced to do some self-destructive operations to satisfy these short-sighted shareholders, and they don't care about the company's future.

Therefore, under the leadership of Mercedes-Benz and the urging of shareholders, other major international car companies that have been forced to cut production and stop production due to the plague have also given full play to the potential of existing car owners. , launched a variety of VIP fee service items.

—Would you like to step on the brakes?Please top up!Want to get your rear wheels spinning?Please top up!Want to use the air conditioner?Please top up!Want to play music?Please top up!Do you want to turn your car into an advertising car by stopping the horn from playing advertisements all the way?Please top up!Want the airbag to deploy?Please top up!

The most ingenious Rolls-Royce also launched a statuette car logo top-up service (extortion) - if you don't recharge, the Rolls-Royce statuette logo will automatically retract, let everyone know: you are a worthy The miser Grandet who buys a luxury car with money but is reluctant to recharge the car logo!

In this case, as the owner of the luxury car mentioned above, as long as you have a little bit of shame, you have to accept the blackmail from the car company!

Unless you are willing to drive those old antique cars without any intelligent system, or cheap and fuel-efficient Japanese cars or even Chinese cars, or even go out in a small pickup truck that farmers like, and declare yourself a poor Luthor...but this If you come here, won't you buy your luxury car for nothing?

With so many sunk costs thrown away before, can you really cut off your wrists so decisively?

Moreover, when encountering those high-end occasions that require ostentation and dignity, such as dances, parties and business negotiations, you just drive a small broken car to go there?

Doesn't this mean that you will die in public, attracting ridicule, and at the same time making your partners have doubts about your financial resources?

Even if you want to save money, there is no way to save money... So you can only swallow your teeth and accept blackmail from Mercedes-Benz.

Therefore, relying on the forced IQ tax of "soft food and hard food", major international brand and famous car companies are still making a lot of money during the epidemic...

Well, at least before the brand is smashed, there is still a wave of prodigal bonuses to enjoy-let's eat it and wipe it off!

sex

"...Hey, if it's just the company that sells luxury cars that looks ugly, then at best, it's bad luck for the rich and a joke for the poor."

The victim of the Mercedes-Benz remote extortion service, Yu Daoan, an international student at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles, continued to break the news, "...But, as far as I know, Boeing is also doing the same thing, and it will charge every Boeing airliner users around the world. Millions of dollars in service fees for the aircraft.

What's even more frightening is that Airbus is also following suit, requiring civil aviation companies around the world to pay service fees, otherwise they will lock the aircraft remotely. "

"...Ha, Boeing and Airbus actually joined forces to blackmail global civil aviation companies? This is the rhythm of chaos!" Akiyama Hui said in surprise.

"...Indeed, Boeing's factories in Seattle and Los Angeles' Long Beach are now completely ruined, and nothing can be produced for at least half a year. However, the reconstruction costs of the factories, bank loan interest and shareholder dividends are still unknown. Where will it be raised from?"

Abby, the witch of disease, echoed, "...It's understandable that Boeing and Airbus, who are poor and crazy, think of using this method to search for customers."