Harry Potter and the Burnt Badger

It wasn't until someone knocked lightly on the door of the study that she temporarily put the book aside and said softly: "Owen? Or Shawnee? Come in, I'm not busy."

Hearing An's voice, Moon suddenly felt a little more at ease. He turned the ball handle of the study without deliberately trying to put a smile on his face or make any disguise.

"Mom, it's me."

Looking at Munn who suddenly appeared in front of her, An was stunned for a moment, but soon, Munn's visible thinness made her feel pity in her heart.

She quickly stood up from the chair, put down her wine glass, and walked quickly to Munn. She first smoothed Munn's messy hair, and then gently touched Munn's cheek.

"My hair has grown a lot, and I have become extremely thin." An's tone inevitably contained a little bit of complaining, but instead of making Munn feel irritable, she felt more at ease.

He took a step forward, hugged An gently, and said in a hoarse voice: "Mom, I'm a little tired."

"Have a good rest and get some sleep. When you get home, mom is here, everything will be fine." An said slowly, patting Moon's back with her left hand, "Are you still having nightmares?"

Moon didn't answer, only the sound of regular breathing began to ring in An's ears.An was stunned for a moment, and then realized that Moon had inexplicably fallen asleep just standing like this.

She gently pulled out the wand and turned another chair in the study into a small bed. Then she slowly sent Moon over and closed the curtains in the study.After doing all this, she originally wanted to leave here directly so that Moon could sleep peacefully for a while.But when she thought of Munn being tortured into this state by nightmares, and her sudden return today, she suddenly understood something, pulled up a chair and sat beside Munn's bed.

The cherry wine exudes a weak smell mixed with the fragrance of wine, and the sound of the pages turning from time to time is obviously not pleasant in any way. In addition, it suddenly started raining in the afternoon, and the heavy raindrops hit the windows. There was a thumping sound, not to mention the rumble of thunder coming from time to time.

This is definitely not a good environment to sleep in.

But this sleep turned out to be the most peaceful sleep that Moon had had in several months.

He had another dream, but it wasn't a nightmare.In the dream, there was only the empty living room, no one stepped in the air, no one pushed him into the abyss, and even the noisy, distorted and weird sounds in his ears were missing.

It was just him, sitting in that familiar living room.

However, he could feel that there was always a warmth on his body, as if something was protecting him.Moreover, when he set foot in this living room in his dream for the first time, he did not feel lonely.

Moon walked around the living room twice, and then slowly sat down on the sofa - at this moment, some scattered memories suddenly appeared in his mind.

Something fell to the ground and kept rolling on the wooden floor. He heard a woman laughing and saying, "Yue Ming, it's your turn." There was also a flickering candlelight, a greasy sweet smell, and an unpleasant smell. singing……

Moon slowly opened his eyes.

Ann was still sitting next to him.

Chapter 55 Cause and effect

In fact, when the gargoyle outside the principal's office spoke, the first thing that appeared in Moon's mind was the figure of his mother.

It is true that he cannot reveal the deepest secrets in his heart easily even to An.But if we want to find the person who can make him say the most things without any burden or worry, then this person must be An.

After all, she is the person who loves her the most in the world, and is the person who most closely connects him to the world. At the same time, she regards him as the only person who ties her to the world.

However, despite this, he still fell into hesitation at that time.The reason for this hesitation is precisely because he knows exactly what he means to his mother, so he is even more worried about what he will do if he accidentally hurts her.

It wasn't until Professor Dumbledore took out the psychiatrist's business card and put it in front of him that he suddenly remembered that the last time he went to the principal's office, the gargoyle said "it's better to block it than to open it up", and he finally became dull. He caught that little bit of light in his mind and realized one crucial thing - the more worried he was, the more he would fall into depression and anxiety, and the more depressed he was, the less he would be able to control it. own emotions.

Then let all this form a fatal vicious circle, repeated over and over again, with no end.

Therefore, although the negativity in his heart sent him signals of obstruction over and over again, trying to pull his thoughts back into the quagmire, he still relied on the clarity of that moment to make the right decision. ——He wants to try.

Of course he should give it a try. After all, if you think about it carefully, the moment when he was most emotionally stable and at ease during this period was when his mother gave him a hug at the beginning of school.

…………

I don’t know if it was because there was a connection between mother and son, or if An was worried that Moon’s current desolation would make others too worried. In short, An did not tell others about Moon’s return to Shafiq Manor. Even dinner was delivered directly to the study by Buffy.

"Golov and Edgar probably won't be back tonight. They have been very busy recently. Ms. Bones was very worried about the attack by the dark wizard. The Aurors are in action almost every week. There are I might go there twice a week. Golov is often asked by Ms. Bones to help with some matters. Professor Dumbledore doesn’t have much time, so Golov has become Ms. Bones’s main adviser.” An tore open the bread in her hand and said, "Here, eat less bread, eat more beef, and you will grow stronger."

Moon smiled and put the meal bag he had just brought back into the small basket and cut the steak with a knife and fork. "It sounds weird. Where does uncle sleep at night? The minister's office?"

An couldn't help but raise his free hand and poked Moon on the forehead. "That's nonsense. Of course I came back to sleep. I mean they won't come back for dinner tonight."

The young man laughed happily and swallowed the cut steak in big mouthfuls.

After finally having a comfortable sleep, his appetite also recovered a lot. It didn't take him a while before he had already eaten a large piece of steak.However, Moon, who seemed to still have some room in his belly, was not satisfied. Instead, he turned around and ate two more fried fishes before wiping his mouth and ending his meal.

"I've been having nightmares recently, dreaming about a lot of strange things, hospitals, wards, chaotic sounds, and...deaths over and over again." Moon stared at the reddish-brown gravy on the dinner plate and whispered: " It was a terrible feeling, like there was a hell around me and I would fall into it as soon as I fell asleep.”

An slowly chewed the salad without interrupting or asking questions, just quietly listening to Moon's sharing.

"What's even worse is that it didn't take long before these dreams began to affect my emotions - these dreams gave me a very weird feeling. I seemed to have forgotten some very important memory. But the problem is, don't When it comes to realizing what memories I have forgotten, I’m not even sure where this feeling came from.”

"So, during this period of time, I have been trying to find out what I have forgotten." Moon pursed his lips and said with a wry smile: "With the help of my own magic, I tried to think about my memory over and over again. I even went to Professor Dumbledore and borrowed his Pensieve, hoping to extract his own memories and piece them together and find them in this way."

"Of course, they all ended in failure. And my mood was more and more affected during this period, so much so that I had to start avoiding everyone to avoid losing control of my temper and getting hurt during this period. They. Even Cedric, Gal, and Violet, I don’t dare to have more contact with them, let alone...seek help from them."

He put his left hand into his pocket and gently touched the pocket watch inside.

"For a short period of time before I came back, I didn't even dare to sleep in the dormitory. Instead, I ran to the cave where the werewolves temporarily lived in the third grade every night. And this kind of solitude, although I didn't have to disturb Cedry To defeat them, but at the same time, I can only feel more clearly that my situation is gradually getting worse."

As he spoke, Moon paused, swallowed, and then said with some uncertainty: "I even suspect that I may have contracted some mental illness. There is something pulling at me in my mind, and the more In this way, it will not allow me to actively solve all problems, but will urge me to choose to escape, separate everything, and even self-exile."

An put down his fork, put his palm on Moon's right hand, and said softly: "It doesn't matter, you have already overcome it."

Moon smiled silently, nodded slightly, and continued: "Anyway, today I felt that I had to do something instead of being trapped in that cave, so I went to the principal's office. Then, the gargoyle at the door of the principal’s office said to me that my condition was so bad that I’d better talk to someone who could help me.”

"I thought of you, so I asked for leave from Professor Dumbledore and came back. And it turns out..."

"This afternoon I had the most restful sleep I've had in months."

An gently patted the back of Munn's hand, then looked quietly into Munn's dark blue eyes. After a while, she suddenly spoke: "Mom doesn't know what is the best and most correct way to do it, but listen. After what you just said, I think..."

"Perhaps what you call a 'forgotten, very important memory' is not the cause of all this, but... your feelings are a result. That's why you can't find it no matter what. Listen. Get up, what’s more important for you now is that you haven’t found the real source of the problem.”

She paused, raised her hand, and pointed at Moon's chest, "In that case, why not resist or suppress your feelings, and have the courage to face your heart, maybe it can tell you the answer. "

Hearing this, Moon couldn't help but be startled for a moment, and then nodded thoughtfully.

Face your own heart?

This sounds like a very vague concept. How can people "face" their own hearts?Even wizards cannot fully see what they are thinking and feeling in their hearts. Those who can do this are saints.

But he seemed to have caught something very important, or in other words, an idea.

His mother was right. During this period, he was too persistent in exploring what memories he had lost, and it even reached the point of obsession and obsession.Every time he made up his mind to solve it all, the final solution would come down to "How do I find what I forgot?"

But wasn't this feeling of forgetfulness something he suddenly discovered only after his emotions began to slide into the abyss?

Forgotten memories are not causes but effects, the effects of nightmares and bad moods.

If he wants to solve the problem, he should explore not the effect, but the cause of the effect.

At this moment, Moon suddenly realized. He raised his head and looked at his mother sitting across the round table, only to see her mother looking at him with a gentle face.

A choking feeling suddenly appeared in Moon's throat.

Yes, how does mom know this so well?

As soon as he thought of this question, he already found the answer in An's eyes.

Perhaps it was because An had experienced similar emotions when he was very young.

At that time, could she see the dazzling green light every night when she closed her eyes and hear her husband's nostalgic cry before his death?She was always careful to avoid others, including her biological brother and younger brother.She shed tears silently in front of her husband's grave countless times, wishing she could just fall into eternal sleep aside.Every year on the anniversary of her husband's death, she had to get herself drunk so as not to lose control of her emotions because of her longing for her husband.

She drowned herself again and again in the turbulent ocean of undercurrents in her heart. Only Moon, a thin straw at the time, was holding her last glimmer of hope.

until today.

Moon's eyes felt inexplicably hot, and he couldn't help but shed tears. He lowered his head slightly, sniffed slightly, and then took a deep breath.

"Mom, I think I found the answer."

"That's good." An raised her hand and rubbed Moon's hair, and said with a chuckle: "I know that my Moon can definitely handle anything - when you feel better, mom will give you a haircut. Cut your hair. If you haven’t cut it for more than a month, it’s grown a lot longer inexplicably.”

"Ah."

Chapter 56 Sunny before rain

That night, Moon still didn't sleep.

On the one hand, he had just slept this afternoon, and his physical sleepiness had reduced a lot; on the other hand, it was because he knew very well that if he was going to sleep, his mother, who knew the approximate duration of this period, He will definitely stay by his side and not want to rest.Therefore, without too much hesitation, he directly chose to give up sleep and take advantage of his normal mood to sort out the recent events.

After all, in recent days, although he was not ignorant of everything, he was indeed troubled by his own emotions and had hardly paid much attention to it.

Now it seems that she was definitely shocked by Moon. Rita Skeeter did not try to cheat, but carried out his orders very well - whether it was to produce a useful book as soon as possible. The biography of lethality still blew up his own house when the debate reached a fever pitch and disappeared temporarily.

Although this woman has no morals at all and her character is not generally bad, I have to say that she at least has a brain.

Of course, what will happen to Rita Skeeter in the end depends on whether her "brain" will prompt her to make the right decision, or whether it will allow her to gain something from that biography. After the profits were big enough and completely disappeared by blowing up the house, he came up with other tricks.

Moon flipped through two more pages of the biography that kept scolding him in different ways. Frankly speaking, putting aside all other factors, one had to admit that when Rita Skeeter was writing these things, she was The spirituality of her writing style and the provocative power of her thoughts are much more powerful than when she praises herself.

After putting down the biography, he picked up the school newspaper and looked guiltily at the articles that the big guys in the school newspaper office helped denounce Rita Skeeter.

This was also part of his plan, but the way it was carried out was completely different from what he had originally planned - originally, he should have at least told everyone that Rita Skeeter wrote the book under his instruction. Biographical, instead of letting everyone mistakenly think that he was really criticized by Rita in the confusion.

Although this effect is better, it comes at the expense of everyone's concern for him.In contrast, he felt it was more appropriate to let everyone know the truth.

It's a pity that in the past week, due to the emotional induction and psychological loss, he was completely unable to speak to everyone, and even had to take a detour to avoid every interaction with everyone as much as possible.

Fortunately, before leaving school, he had already told Cedric in a note that Rita's biography was arranged by him - complaints are definitely inevitable, and a solemn apology is also necessary. I hope everyone can Forgive him.

There was a breeze blowing outside the window, causing the tree shadows to sway gently. Moon glanced at the bright night sky, raised his hand and pressed his forehead.

Before Halloween, he still had to meet Rodriguez.

When the woman named Debra fell into his hands, he inevitably missed many details due to his emotional and psychological loss of control.Now when I turn around and think about it again, it’s not difficult to notice something strange——

First of all, Rodriguez is definitely not deliberately inducing the Snake King Club in reverse.

Although this guy is crazy and twisted, and he only wants to make the Crow Party explode into the most dazzling fireworks of the year, he is not a short-sighted person.During the meeting at Werewolf Night last semester, he had revealed enough information to let him clearly know that his Legilimency attainments were extraordinary.What's more, that guy already knew that he was by no means an absolutely positive character who would be merciful in important matters.

The Crow Party was not officially destroyed for a day, and he was an indispensable and powerful foreign aid to Rodriguez.Even if it was simply out of consideration for the alliance between the two, Rodriguez would never do such a stupid thing to take advantage of the situation, completely irritating himself and causing the alliance to collapse.

Secondly, although Rodriguez sometimes goes crazy, for example, when he was at the Ministry of Magic, he was so stupid that he thought he could falter for a few rounds under Professor Dumbledore, but in most cases, he He can be said to be a very smart person.

Since he would choose to seek cooperation from the Snake King to force the Crow Party to give up hiding, but he has not left the Crow Party, it means that he definitely thinks that the Snake King will sell him to the Crow Party.Of course, there may be some other means involved, such as expressing surrender or driving them away with profit.

However, it turns out that he was tricked by the Snake King Society.The Snake King Council adopted his suggestion, but did not fully adopt it.

What does this mean, assuming that Rodriguez did not deliberately reverse induce?

Does it mean that the Snake King will not have enough trust in Rodriguez as Rodriguez trusts them?

Moon felt that he was very wise for being able to make this inference at that time.

If the Snake King had even the slightest distrust of Rodriguez, they would never adopt a word of Rodriguez's advice and would either abandon it or simply expose the matter to the Crow Party directly. Sit back and watch the jokes.Because once Rodriguez fails to convince the Snake King that he sincerely wants to subvert the Crow Party, this matter will be 100% detrimental to the Snake King.

The actions of the Snake King Society clearly indicate that there are changes in the cooperation between them and Rodriguez.

This variable is either that the Snake King Society has learned something, such as the alliance between Rodriguez and Moon; or someone has approached the Snake King Society and instigated the Snake King Society in some way to change the target of the attack.

After all, in terms of effect alone, the advice Rodriguez gave was certainly for the alliance between him and Moon, but at the same time, it was indeed a better choice in terms of forcing the Crow Party to show up.

You know, if you just kill a few ordinary wizards, then the Ministry of Magic may still be able to trace the source and seek the truth like it is now; if you blow up Gringotts and the Leaky Cauldron, then, no matter what you are, Who - no one cares about this, what you wear is your identity, and even if the Ministry of Magic wants to find out the truth, it has to declare war with you first, especially when the identity you play is originally It's not a fun situation either.

Even if no one died in the process of blowing up Gringotts and the Leaky Cauldron, the effect would be exactly the same.

The symbolic meaning of killing someone is completely different from that of destroying a landmark.

So, the question is, what exactly is this variable?

And at the end, when he turned to leave... the suppressed, almost undetectable little joy in Debra's heart...

He knew beforehand that Debra Floris and Sonia Floris were more than just "Rodriguez's assistants" and "ordinary Gryffindor students".But now it seems that there are still many things hidden in it.

The tip of the shorthand quill rustled across the paper, leaving a string of handwriting.

After realizing what his emotional and psychological problems can push him into, and before he can guarantee that he can definitely solve his emotional problems, he must record his thoughts and plans one by one. Come down and save it for future emergencies.

If I must say it, it is like a devil lives in his heart, which will hinder him and seduce him in everything, leading him to a state of extreme negativity, and even gradually leading to self-exile, self-loathing, and even self-esteem. A bottomless abyss of thoughts of destruction.

Although I am not sure whether this method of leaving paper records to remind myself is effective, it is at least a way.

of course……

Moon glanced at his pocket watch and saw that it was three o'clock in the morning.

Feeling the fatigue that began to swell in his heart again, he sighed helplessly, and with a light touch of his fingertips, he completely ignited the two pages that the shorthand quill had just filled.

It's probably useless, and it's annoying to just keep looking at it.

Better burn it.

…………

Even without the protection of thick fabric curtains, the first ray of sunshine in the morning still failed to arrive as expected. At 04:30, the drizzle of light rain rolled down from the sky one after another and gathered on the ground. Small puddles.

Olanda wore rain boots and a poncho and wandered alone on the stone road of the manor into the garden.Unlike Dana, who especially likes to jump in puddles, Olanda always carefully avoids all potholes and tries his best to ensure that his rain boots do not come into use.