I was raised in the simulator, and I’m really not a bad woman in Ark!

Outside the simulation, Ikaros, who was watching the development of the story in the simulation, recalled the various things that happened to him in the previous simulation and couldn't help but sigh. Although the "Ikaros" in the simulation was gentle, strong, and kind.

But in the final analysis, she is just an ordinary person without power, and she has really lost a lot.

The Grand Duke did lose her parents who loved her deeply, but when she grew up, she had enough capital and power to protect the important things.

Not to mention Tao, although he was a bit miserable, and killed and devoured his brothers and sisters with his own hands for the future of the fragments, but putting aside some embellishments, Tao, who possessed power, had never lost anything. In fact, if it weren't for Wang's big job, Ekaros felt that Tao's script could even be the heroine of a cool novel.

The only difference is that the 'self' in this simulation still seems to be a pure and powerless ordinary person. He still adheres to the bottom line and cognition of human beings, but is instead pressed step by step by reality and Agor, which makes Ekalos feel really bad.

After all, before he had the simulator and awakened his memory, wasn't Ikaros just an ordinary person?

The Originium technique called 'Dream' had no other use at the beginning except to briefly drag unsuspecting people into dreams and create some illusions.

It seems powerful, but in fact, if Arturo hadn't played the strings to attract people's attention and empathy, Ikaros's Originium skills would have been difficult to use successfully.

Rounding means no.

Therefore, Ekalos truly felt a sense of sympathy for himself in this simulation.

They are all ordinary people, but compared to their "selves" in the simulation, the real Ikaros is undoubtedly much luckier.

At least she lives in a relatively less bad country, has not lost the people who love her and the people she loves, and now she has awakened the system and the memories of her past life and gained the power to protect everything.

But what about the 'self' in the simulation?

She really had nothing. She was always losing and trying to gain, but was forced to lose again and again because of her gentleness and misfortune. In the end, she was even overwhelmed by the heavy reality and the truth that appeared from time to time, and could only choose death as an escape.

I can only say that this is a worthy script of Bai Yueguang. Icarus even felt a stomachache after reading it.

And Skadi's operation at the end was really amazing. It turned out that the straight ball was the rule of victory. Ekalos felt that he had learned a lot!

But all in all, if possible, although Ikaros does not expect the 'self' in the simulation to have a good ending, he should at least be like everyone in the previous two simulations, without any regrets.

Otherwise, Ekalos felt that he would not be able to sleep well in the next few nights.

Eh? This... doesn't seem bad.

After all, if I can't sleep, can't I just find an excuse to sleep with Arturo and be affectionate and coquettish?

Hiss~ No, no, Icarus, ah Icarus, you and Arturo have been lifelong friends, how can you think of taking advantage of him!

But...but I think I was like this before, right?

Arturo's body was fragrant and soft, and after taking off his bra, his vagina was the size of a B cup. I really felt like I was sleeping on it all night...

"Um... No! No way! Don't let reason defeat your desires! Ekaros!"

Two fierce slaps woke her up from her nymphomaniac state. With two red marks on her fair face, Ikaros quickly shook her head to clear the image of Arturo in a white robe from her memory.

After all, now is not the time to be overthinking.

But as expected, I am still not used to the time when Arturo is not by my side. I should finish watching the simulation as soon as possible and go find Arturo as soon as possible.

Thinking this in his mind, after clearing away the bitterness in his heart, Ekalos continued to look at the simulation that was just beginning to be deduced again at this moment.

And the story of the deep sea has obviously come to an end.

……

[A few weeks after Skadi left, you once again had the thought of ending your own life.]

[However, compared to the last time on the rooftop, your determination is obviously not as strong now that you have this thought again. ]

[The beauty of the past has become the last shackle before you leave this world. 】

[Your ignorant love for Skadi made you hesitate before deciding to die.]

[Despite Skadi's straightforward consolation, you still know that your life has long become a cage that restrains flying birds. Although on the surface you don't seem to affect anyone around you, in fact, your existence itself is what they care about most in their hearts. ]

[As a gardener, you hope that they, as different "seeds", can each bloom their own flowers in the future, rather than being dragged down by your own reasons and letting them worry about their feelings for you. ]

[I don’t want the vortex I’m in to affect them, or even drag them into the abyss of conspiracy and disaster when they shouldn’t be involved...]

[However, even if you have repeatedly told yourself that you should choose death and put an end to all this awfulness. ]

[But every time you have the thought of ending your life, you can't help but recall what Skadi said to you that day, recall that warm embrace, and crave that warmth and the hazy emotions that were evoked.]

[So that you give up or postpone the idea of ​​ending your life again and again. ]

[Sometimes, you would even hold Nona's head while she sits on your lap, drink some scented tea, and look at the fake sunset outside the window, and feel that maybe it wouldn't be bad to continue living peacefully like this.]

[It’s just that every time you subconsciously have this thought in your mind because of Skadi, the scenes in the ruins of the monastery will emerge in your mind, making you fall into sadness and bitterness, and while shaking your head and sighing, you give up this greedy thought that arises in your heart.]

[But despite this, you still think of many excuses to convince yourself that you want to end your life as late as possible.]

[For this reason, you even began to treat Nona as a normal child, ignoring her true identity as a sea heir, and treated her like a child like Gloria, Laurentina, and Skadi in the past.]

【Therefore, your originally restless heart has found peace again. 】

[And Nona, under your education and guidance, relying on Haisi's superb adaptability and learning ability, as well as the group aura of collective brainstorming, learned from you at a terrifying speed how to write, and even how to grow flowers.]

[Well, although the flowers that Nona grows will inexplicably grow octopus tentacles or big eyeballs and move freely. ]

[But putting aside the reality, Nona did learn a lot from you in a short time. ]

[Your knowledge base was quickly cleared by the opponent. After teaching a talented player like Goletia, you once again fell into doubt about your life and IQ. ]

[However, after thinking about how the silly Skadi had to stay with you for several years before learning how to grow wisteria, you quickly regained your confidence. ]

[At the same time, I don’t know if it’s your illusion, when you treated Nona like a normal child.]

[You find that Nona is gradually becoming more and more like a real person. ]

[She not only learned to speak, write, and distinguish right from wrong, but she even began to imitate your expressions with her expressionless face, instead of simply using her eyes to convey her simple emotions as before.]

[You were surprised to find this out, and even suspected that if you continued to let Nona study like this, maybe one day Nona would become a real ordinary person.]

[But you are just surprised. ]

[Or, you actually still have some hope that Nona can completely transform from a sea creature into an ordinary person. ]

[After all, if you did that, you wouldn't be reminded of the tragedy in the monastery every time you see Nona and want to touch her head, and subconsciously feel resistance.]

[Although your heart and judgment tell you that the tragedy in the monastery and the sea that attacked the water city and the monastery that day are not that simple. ]

[But before you knew the truth, although you knew that you might be a humanoid Haisi, you still had no good feelings towards the Haisi clan who were the direct cause of all that.]

[The pain of loss cannot be described in words.]

[All the beautiful things in the past were shattered along with the shattered corpses in the ruins and the warm memories of the past, and were buried in the cold grave.]

[So even if you try your best to distance Nona from the Haisi who caused the tragedy. ]

[But so-called emotions are always irrational. You still have a gap in your heart towards Nona, even though she looks almost exactly like you when you were a child.]

[Moreover, looking at your own childhood face, you can't help but recall the time and people in the monastery, which was not rich but gave you warmth and comfort, and temporarily healed the scars in your heart.]

[You will also...can't help but think of your own parents who have long passed away.]

[So your attitude towards Nona is really complicated, so complicated that even you yourself don’t know whether you like her or hate her.]

[But no matter what your attitude towards Nona is. ]

[Girls named Nona will obey your orders, follow you like a follower, holding the stuffed bear you gave her with an expressionless face, push your wheelchair, cut vegetables, water the flowers, and prepare notes and brewed flower tea for you when you are reading.]

[At the same time, Nona seems to know that your attitude towards her is very complicated, so even if you can talk smoothly, Nona will still not actively communicate with you too much, as if she wants to avoid you noticing her, and then reveal a distressed and complicated expression and sigh. ]

[Whether you like Nona or not, Nona has obviously always liked you. It has been like this since the day you picked her up and brought her home.]

【As you spend more and more time with each other, you get used to or accept this way of getting along. 】

[And gradually, half intentionally and half unintentionally, I began to downplay and forget about the fact that I had ended my life.]

[For no other reason, even though your reason tells you that choosing to end your life earlier may be the best choice. ]

[However, you find that you are still greedy one last time.

At least... I have to see Skadi again, touch Gloria, and lie on Laurentina's lap again, right? 】

【After a near-death experience, people will become more cherishing of their own lives. 】

[So are you.]

[The last time you wanted to understand your own life, you actually mustered up your greatest courage, and pushed yourself with the feeling called "love" and the sadness of loss, and finally planned to jump off the tall building in fear and terror.]

[And this time, after the sadness has faded a lot, and even an emotion called love has emerged, how could you possibly want to die casually? ]

[But this time, your greed has also caused you to feel completely desperate. ]

[On that day that seemed like any other, you were waiting for customers in the flower shop and thought that today would be as peaceful as yesterday. ]

[But an ominous premonition looms in your heart. ]

[When the door of the flower shop was knocked, Nona, holding a broom, subconsciously went to open the door to welcome the guests. ]

[You put on a gentle smile but the guests you welcomed were not the ones you were familiar with. 】

[Instead, it was a saber that pierced Nona's heart and splashed scarlet blood on your face, as well as a woman who looked 70% similar to Goletia and followed behind her, a fully armed Agor soldier whose face was covered by an unknown mask.]

[And the cold words from this self-proclaimed Supreme Technological Archon, and the cruel truth that she casually said in her arrogance when you questioned her.]

[The arrogant Archon disdains to hide the truth from you who have no power. ]

[Or, for some reason, she wants you, a test subject who is destined to die soon, to die clearly.]

[It can also be regarded as her last mercy and gratitude to you. ]

[After being controlled by the officers, you also learned a lot of truth from the Archon. ]

[The cruel reality and the cold words kept interweaving, making your consciousness fall into a trance. When you finally looked at Nona's "corpse" lying on the ground and bleeding, your eyes, which were gradually losing their brightness, were stained with tears.]

[The hatred and sadness in my heart continued to accumulate, and the surging emotions encouraged the string sound that was about to tear the deep sea apart, making time seem to stand still, and the sorrow never stopped...]

Chapter 1: Extreme Sorrow Will Destroy Everything (4/)

【Through the words of the Archon, or rather, of Goletia’s biological mother.】

[You learned the real reason why your parents were secretly executed, the origin of the potion, and even learned that the tragedy of Haisi's attack on Water City was not a simple accident as you guessed, but an experiment deliberately conducted by the Agor officials to verify your abilities.]

[False lies and unconfirmed speculations cannot bring despair. Only the cruel and ridiculous truth is the real messenger of despair. ]

[At the moment of knowing the truth, after knowing that the real reason why his parents were executed was because they wanted to leave their jobs to accompany him, and knowing that the reason why everyone in the monastery was slaughtered by Hai Si was because of him, and even Nona who was lying in a pool of blood was because of him. ]

[You temporarily forgot Nona's identity as Haisi, looked at Nona's "corpse" lying in a pool of blood, and after eliminating the barrier of "hatred" brought by Haisi, the memories and bits and pieces of the past emerged in your mind at this moment. ]

[You are in deep regret, self-blame and pain. ]

【And when you are in deep sorrow. 】

[Time seemed to have stopped flowing, and another 'you' came to your side again at this moment, looking at you with a worried look.]

[As if she sensed your deep despair and sadness, this time she did not take the initiative to invite you to join the group like she did in the past.]

[I just walked to your side, hesitantly stretched out my hand to touch your sobbing head, and tried my best to search for the few words in my mind, trying every way to comfort you at this moment.]

[But all the past events, the cruel truth that lies before you, your misunderstanding of Nona and Nona's death are like countless thorns piercing your heart.]

[You begin to regret your desire for that beauty. You should just die. At least then Nona might be fine, and you won’t have to know the cruel truth...]

[However, at the same time you had this thought, the other 'you' seemed to have sensed that your heart was collapsing in despair and instinctively chose to escape.]

[The other 'you' actually doesn't reject your choice to escape, but she doesn't like your mentality of thinking that all the misfortunes and sufferings are caused by yourself, and she doesn't want to see you continue to regret and feel guilty for the sins and mistakes that are not yours after learning the truth. ]

【It's not your fault.】

【Victim blaming is the most ridiculous thing in the world.】

[The other 'you' would never agree with this. ]

[So, she hugged you tightly and whispered softly in your ear, scolding you: "Why do you regret? Why do you choose death?"]

[“My blood relative, you have done nothing wrong… Have you ever thought that all these misfortunes are just sufferings imposed on you by them?”]

[“You are not wrong. The one who is wrong is definitely not you, but the person who created all this behind the scenes.”]

[“The one who should die is never you, but those who planned and caused these tragedies…”]

[Although the voice of the other 'you' was calm, the words she spoke softly echoed in your heart, which was almost drowned by despair.]

[The long blue hair falls in front of you under her embrace, bringing with it the light orchid fragrance that belongs only to a girl and a hint of the salty smell that belongs only to the deep sea. You keep shedding tears, and she gently holds you and accompanies you.]

[It's like an elder sister comforting her younger sister, or like a mother comforting her child. ]