Chapter 113 - Oh My Stars and Garters

Another day rolled around, and Bai Zhi prepared to go to class, but as he arrived at the ground floor, he was surprised to find a crowd gathered inside his residential compound.

Several cop cars had stopped at the building across the road, and the area around it was cordoned off by blue and white police tape. Two officers stood behind the tape to obscure the view, and to ensure none of the gawkers crossed the line.

Bai Zhi frowned.

Did someone kick the bucket...?

Even though he already had a good idea of what was going on based on what he could observe, he made his way over to the crowd to see what else he could learn.

It really was a death, as it turned out. It had happened in the early hours of the morning, and the deceased had soon been discovered by their roommate, who had called the police.

The officers at the site volunteered no details, but talk of the horrific scene where the body had been found was spreading amongst the bystanders. Apparently, the roommate had been eventually driven mad by the sight, and was on their way to the hospital to receive treatment.

...Could this be the doing of some supernatural entity? Hmm, no clues as to the type, but I'm guessing it's some sort of spirit...

Bai Zhi didn't stay long, and soon turned to leave with a sigh.

The world was getting more deadly by the day, and new supernatural entities showed up in urban areas every day. However, since they were bound by certain rules, just being in the vicinity of one didn't mean certain death. Thus, Bai Zhi concluded that the deceased must have done something to set off the entity's kill condition.

On the other hand, the supernatural entity could have appeared anywhere for any reason. Picking up some coins off the ground, logging on to some creepy website, or getting some strange app automatically downloaded to one's phone... All these could have summoned the supernatural entity.

Supernatural entities had changed to keep up with the times. After all, who would still willingly hide in a toilet all night, twiddling their thumbs until an unsuspecting victim crossed their path these days?—even supernatural entities had a sense of dignity. Didn't they deserve some respect? In Japan for example, there was a new supernatural entity known as "Hell Site" which was spreading its influence over the internet, while in North America, an app called "Countdown" was also gaining traction... They were very tricky to deal with, as a result of their ability to spread like wildfire through the internet.

Just before leaving the compound, Bai Zhi tossed something into a nearby trash can.

It was the signboard he had grabbed from the man-eating room, the first one he had encountered during the "Life's Hard Disk" quest. Temperance Gentleheart had asked about what was written on it and he had ignored her then, not because it contained some big secret, but because...

[ I knew you'd fall for it, dumbass! ]

If it weren't for that mocking message, he wouldn't have gone so far as to throw in the dog feces when burning the room to ashes... Lord knows it wasn't easy collecting that stuff.

"Dammit, ran out of stock because of all that. Have to get more..." Bai Zhi mumbled to himself.

While he waited for the bus, Bai Zhi took out his cellphone and ordered fifty cans of fermented fish and ten pounds of ghost peppers at one go.

Used properly, these could deal the same amount of damage as any weapon of mass destruction, to say nothing of the additional trauma it inflicted on top. Truly, there was no better deal on the planet.

If not for how absolutely filthy it was, Bai Zhi would not have hesitated to run to the nearest public bathroom with a bucket and collect the spirit of Auliget* in there. If he ever ran into a Player with evil intentions or a supernatural entity, he could simply dump a pile of doodoo on them—a most effective deterrent.

However, compared to such primitive substances, a mixture of canned fish, durian, ghost peppers, bananas and the like made a far superior product. The only problem was that thus far, he had not found a suitable place to make use of it.

After all, if someone were to file a complaint, he would certainly be charged with mass poisoning...

Right after he placed his order, a message from an unknown number popped up on his phone.

<Could I interest you in a trade?>

...Did the impostor change her number?

Bai Zhi read the message again and looked around, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

As he did so, he received another message.

<Give me that Deed, and I'll give you what you want in return. It's completely useless to you anyway, but it's quite important to me>

BZ swiftly composed his reply with a sly smirk.

<Indeed, "to help another is to know happiness", and "things should be returned to their rightful owner**" are traditional virtues. Seeing as you helped me out last time, I don't mind returning the Deed, but you'll have to come and pick it up yourself>

Before, he had lacked any effective attacks against this impostor, so she—it—had been able to show itself brazenly before him, but if it dared to show up now... it was just a walking pile of Coins and Experience Points.

<...Surely you're not hoping to bait me out in order to kill me?>

Tsk, this thing can smell danger a mile away, it won't be easy to trick...

Bai Zhi stroked his chin and tapped out another message.

<No way! Can't you see how noble and chivalrous I am? Do I look like the kind of person to say one thing and mean another? I said I'd hand it over and I will, so trust me. Like I said, I'm grateful for the help you so generously offered last time, so how could I possibly repay your kindness with retribution? Do I look like that kind of person to you?>

Her response came instantly.

<100%. Not to mention totally unscrupulous.>

Bai Zhi shrugged as his bus came to a stop before him.

<Then there's nothing for us to discuss. If we don't trust each other, any negotiation could only end in mutual disappointment, so why don't we talk about something else?>

Bai Zhi stepped onto the bus as he continued to type with one hand.

<Someone died in my residential community yesterday. Was it your doing?>

<Don't lump me in with the rabble... Anyway, it's in your best interests to give me the Deed as soon as possible. Humans can't resist the corrupting effect of such things, even though you may not have noticed it yet. Don't believe me? Check your Sanity value.>

The long message indicated that whoever he was talking to seemed set on their initial goal. In their eagerness to convince Bai Zhi, they revealed a crucial piece of information.

Sanity? Bai Zhi thought as he brought up his Attribute panel.

[ Sanity: ??? ]

It seems to know quite a bit about this, and other things too, like otherworldly creatures... and that other thing...

Bai Zhi frowned as he composed his reply.

<Oh my stars and garters, I cannot believe what has happened to my precious Sanity! Oh me, oh my, I swear I must uncover the culprit behind this. Can you imagine what mischief has befallen yours truly?>

It was a whole minute before his phone chimed with a notification.

<......>

Translator Notes

*See Chapter 27
**Interestingly, the exact opposite of finders keepers. "Western" vs "Eastern" values amirite?