Unrequited Love

There is a Western proverb. I can't remember the original text. The translation is probably: "The truth is the daughter of time." It took nearly four years to write the ending of this story. I am afraid that what I have tempered over the past four years is not only my ability to write and structure stories as an amateur writer, but also directly affect my life, changing my mentality, attitude towards life, and perceptions and expectations of feelings. , And all of this is the soul of this story.

Many people have asked me: "Are you Luo Zhi? Have you also met a Sheng Huainan? Is this a story that happened to you?"

The answer is all no. Rather, I extract from my real life those emotions and feelings that are similar to other people but are not easily remembered, and use all of these as the core and foundation to construct a completely fictional story. Inject into the characters and make them all look like they have walked by your side.

This is my goal, I don’t know how much I have done in this story.

I think many people have had a crush on some people. Some time is extra long, like Luo Zhi, causing that pure feeling to have self-doubt in the end; some people are outspoken, observe and dormant for a short time and then give up, or Begin the pursuit of confession; some people love boys like Sheng Huainan, excellent, arrogant, and approachable but separated by thousands of rivers; some people love boys, no one can see how good he is, if you say it, I’m afraid you will get a “no” Well, what do you think", I also knew that he was not so good, but somehow he just couldn't let it go...

Including myself, I am not Luo Zhi, but I must be "some people".

Peeped, inquired, concealed, if nothing happened, saddened, gratified for no reason, tried to give up in self-disgust.

No matter how much you care about it, it will fade under the wash of time and chances. After years, the feelings have not faded, and the person has faded as the background.

But time has never been wasted, and feelings have never been without a trace. You must have changed briefly or for a long time, maybe moving in a good direction, or leaving a not-so-good mark.

But I believe it is always good. Feelings are no longer like a piece of driftwood for breath, no matter whether you get the results you want, you can always get something else by the way.

After "Hello, Old Time", a friend asked me: "Will you feel this way? Once the stories you keep in your heart fall on paper, it's like transferring them from memory. After that, I suddenly feel that I can't remember it?"

I thought about it carefully, and it seemed like this. Although I didn’t take out the stories and memories in my heart as they were, but changed them beyond recognition. Sometimes I don’t even remember where certain sentences and plots can be mapped. However, As soon as they really fell on the words, they left me.

I am very happy that with this "Secret Love" that finally came to an end, my secret love finally left me.

This is not accurate. In fact, my own crush has been put down for many years. Although there are some doubts, it has been solved by time.

In the third year of university, I worked as an exchange student in Tokyo for a whole year, and some of the school's professional courses could only be moved to the senior year. In addition, the campus recruitment in autumn and winter caused a lot of confusion and exhaustion. I remember an interview was over. I was extremely depressed when I encountered heavy snow on my way back to school. I was swayed by the wind, and finally rushed into the school gate. I hurried to the milk tea shop on the side of the road and ordered a cup of burning grass. Waiting tremblingly at the door.

At this time, I heard the sound of the bicycle falling to the ground, and when I looked back, I saw the boy I had a crush on for many years and his girlfriend fell to the ground together. It was a steep slope, and it was difficult to start uphill by bicycle, let alone with a person. He once took me with a bicycle, but failed to take it. I embarrassedly said, "I am too heavy." He embarrassedly said, "No, no, I am too stupid."

Now that I think about it, I still smile.

At this moment, I heard him yell at his girlfriend: "Say you won't be allowed to jump up at this time, you want to be like this, you have killed me!"

Oh, are you willing to believe it now? I really haven't met Sheng Huainan.

I thought in an instant, if it were me, maybe at this time, I would be cold, apologize to him, then pick up my bag and turn around and leave? ——You dare to yell at me? !

However, his girlfriend tilted her head and said with a sweet smile: "I want you to take me uphill."

He was still ill-tempered, but no longer insisted, and said sternly, "Oh, come up."

At that time, I really laughed from start to finish in a corner they couldn't see. When the waiter handed me to burn immortal grass, I was still laughing. A loving couple, a smart girl who knows how to maintain a relationship, and a boy who is still cherished.

Some intimacy does not belong to you, and some people are wrong. Even if you have it, you will eventually screw everything up.

I saw Time’s daughter smiling at me.

So back to Luo Zhi, Sheng Huainan, and everyone in the book.

I let go of my crush when I was in my second year of college, and then I started to write this book, and this book finally ended in 2011, nearly four years later. It can be seen that I have never thought of using Luo Zhi and Sheng Huainan to realize any of my dreams, nor have I thought of using their good endings to realize your dreams.

Your dream should be a right person, a healthy and stable, close and beautiful relationship, and the direction of your efforts to become better together. It shouldn't be the fruit of a crush, although it is very beautiful.

Luo Zhi and Sheng Huainan have become my two friends a long time ago. I have seen part of myself in them, but more, I just simply write the story of these two people, and write about their changes, epiphanies and growth. , Write their due end. I like everyone in the book. They are not completely beautiful and kind, but they are trying hard and persistently to pursue something, and learn to give up something at the right time.

Four years have passed, and I have not started writing until now, because I feel that I have the ability and sufficient vision to complete the ending stage by stage, otherwise it would be irresponsible to this group of people. I don't like talk beyond my own life experience, nor do I like ideals beyond the scope of reality, but I don't like to rudely sever other people's hope of uncompromising because I understand the darkness of reality and helplessness.

I think I am worthy of my two unlovable friends after all.

There are still many variables in the future, but since it is the two of them, I believe there is no problem.

I have never trusted myself so much.

I still write stories about teenagers. Because I used to be, I will always understand. With the growth of my own age and experience, I think I have the ability to write that period and youth better, whether it is depth or breadth, I have the confidence to be worthy of it.

Never before, if you read the young man I wrote, see yourself, forgive yourself, and forgive others, I think this is really the most wonderful fate.

I wish you all the best.

August Chang'an

December 12, 2011