Unspeakable

Jiang Mo feeds more than half of the mangosteen to Shen Kanyu and opens the lunch box Shen Kanyu had given him.

“Do you want to eat?”

“I’ve eaten it, you eat it,”

Shen Kanyu sniffed and said hoarsely.

“By the way, Jiang Mo, you have so many contacts. Can you find someone to get me a fake inspection report?”

Jiang Mo said in disbelief, “What do you want?”

Shen Kanji smiled and said.

“My father has a bad liver, and I want to donate my liver to him, but I feel that I have a heart problem and may not pass the hospital’s examination.”

Jiang Mo slapped the lunch box back and looked at him incredulously.

“You have a heart problem? Shouldn’t you go to see a doctor? And yet you still want to donate your liver? You think it’s as simple as donating blood?”

Shen Kanyu didn’t expect Jiang Mo to get angry. He was stunned for a moment and quickly explained.

“No, no, I’m not ill, just a little uncomfortable, but you know that organ transplant is very strict. I’m afraid the doctor won’t let me do it.”

“Stop talking about the doctor. Will your parents let you do it? Will Gu Yansheng agree?”

Jiang Mo felt that he was telling a joke.

“How important an organ is a heart, is? And yet you don’t have care about your heart? Who will take the responsibility in case of any problems occur during the operation?”

“It’s really not a big problem… It’ll be fine. Don’t tell them, it’s just between you and me.”

Shen Kanyu smiled pleasantly at Jiang Mo and tried to reason with him.

“And you see, my father is getting worse and worse. If I don’t give him my kidney, something will happen to him. But if I give him my kidney, he will be fine, and there’s little possibility that something bad will happen to me. So, both of us are safe, isn’t that good?”

Jiang Mo turned his head and said nothing with an iron blue face.

Shen Kanyu stretched out his hand and gently pulled his sleeve.

“Jiang Mo, please help me. I want to save my father. My father… Loves me very much, and I want to do something for him. I have been making trouble for him since I was young and made him angry. This time I really want to do something for him.”

Jiang Mo sighed suppressively.

“Have you thought about yourself? If anything happens to you, what will they do?”

Shen Kanyu smiled and said softly.

“It’s okay. ……”

His mom and brother will not be able to stand it if Dad was not there.

But if it was him, it doesn’t matter if he’s not there. From the moment he came into the world, he has always been superfluous, and if he leaves them, it was letting everyone around him return to their original normal and happy lives, and everything would be okay.

He has never made anyone happy. He was always doing bad things to make others angry and make others sad. He wants to at least even once give the people he cares about to feel happy because of him.

Even if it’s just this once.

“It doesn’t matter? What do you mean?”

Jiang Mo could hardly listen.

“Your life and death is not important, is it?”

Shen Kanji hastily changed his words and stumbled.

“No, I, I mean …… will be fine.”

“I can’t help you with this kind of thing, you can joke with your life but I can’t.”

Jiang Mo said flatly.

“Unless you go and talk to Gu Yansheng, and Gu Yansheng agreed then I will agree.”

Jiang Mo was obviously very angry with him. He didn’t want to talk to him anymore as he stuffed the hot lunch box into his arms and said coldly.

“I have something else to do. Let’s go first and keep the meal for yourself. Also, if you mention this matter again, don’t contact me again.”

“Jiang Mo!”

After chasing Jiang Mo for a few steps, Shen Kanyu felt pain in his stomach preventing him to take one more step and losing any strength in his legs. He hurriedly grabbed the trunk next to him and squatted down with a pale face.

He put the box lunch in his arms to warm his stomach and took out his phone to text Jiang Mo.

The fingers of his left hand were stiff while he could only barely hold the phone on his right hand as he struggled to type on the phone.

[It’s my bad, I won’t say it, okay, you come back and eat your meal, leaving your stomach hungry can result in stomach pain which is very uncomfortable].

When he was about to send the message he was caught off guard and was hit by someone. His mobile phone slipped out of his hand and fell apart on the ground.

He fell to his knees, choking and coughing in pain, both hands struggling to support the ground and the left hand shaking like chaff.

The lunch box in his arms also slipped down and the lid was shaken open, and the full meal inside instantly spilled all over the floor.

Once again, he couldn’t give out what he wanted to give.

He remembered that this was Jiang Mo’s favorite meal when he was at school, so he lined up for a long time. His feet were sore but he was still in high spirits. It was because he thought of Jiang Mo’s happy appearance when he ate this meal and was full of expectation, so he didn’t feel tired.

Unexpectedly, Jiang Mo still didn’t eat a single bite.

Wouldn’t it be better if someone else were to give it to him? Jiang Mo wouldn’t have to go hungry.

It’s all his fault.

“What’s wrong? Are you squatting here to get in everyone’s way?”

The one who bumped into him was a hot-tempered middle-aged plump man because he almost tripped and fell, he was so angry that he wanted to add kick Shen Kanyu.

However, he had just moved a step forward when he was kicked directly to the ground with a sweeping kick and fell on all fours.

The plump man was so angry that his nostrils smoked as he cursed and got up to fight back, but the man stepped on his shoulder again.

The plump man raised his head angrily and looked at the person when he met a pair of cold eyes. The coldness at the bottom of his eyes seemed to come from an abyss that could not be seen to the end. It was bone-chilling and made his whole body soft and his back cold. Let alone anger, he was so scared that the smoke on his nostrils also ran away.

“Get out.”

Gu Yansheng said through clenched teeth.

The plump man numbly got up from the ground and fled.

—

Shen Kanyu was dizzy when he heard Gu Yansheng furiously says “get out”, his whole person was shocked. Looking back, he really saw Gu Yansheng. He stared at him for a few seconds, then lowered his head, hurriedly picked up the “body” of his phone, stretched out his hand to grasp the trunk with his thorn palms while his legs were still unable to regain the strength and his stomach was still hurting. Trembling, he musters his strength to stand up but couldn’t even after a long time.

Seeing Gu Yansheng come and squat down in front of him, he was so anxious that he didn’t know what to do. At a loss, he wiped the sweat on his face, looked up at Gu Yansheng with red eyes, and said in a dumb voice.

“A’Sheng, I’m sorry, I’ll go right away.”

He only looked at him for a moment, then hurriedly averted his eyes struggling to grasp the trunk of the tree trying to get up again but his body has no strength at all not to mention his stomach was twisted with pain, and as soon as he tried to do the action of getting up, he felt that the intestines inside were twisted into dead knots and stretched to the limit, as if they were about to break at a touch.

Gu Yansheng held out his hand to hold his shoulder and wanted to ask him what was wrong with him. He had just been hurt by someone, but he avoided him like an electric shock and curled up against the trunk. Then he trembled his lips and began to admit his mistake incoherently and beg for mercy.

“I know it’s wrong, A’Sheng, I really know it’s wrong, but don’t hit me first. I’ll..tomorrow… I have something important tomorrow. I can do it after tomorrow, I promise…”

Gu Yansheng was silent for a moment and stubbornly stretched out his hand to hold his thin and cold arm. At that moment, he shrank, and his eyes closed tightly, which was a subconscious reaction when people felt that they were going to be beaten.

He was so scared that he was shaking, his face was white as paper and he didn’t dare to move.

Gu Yansheng thought of the stray dog that he saw playing downstairs when he was a child. He was frightened by the stamping and shouting of other children and was shivering in the corner.

When the children were gone, he walked over and held it in his arms. He stroked his back along with the hair from its head. He calmed down, sobbed, and licked his hand, then his thin claws hugged his arm.

Just like two peas in the corner, Shen Kanyu looked at him almost the same.

Gu Yangsheng sighed and lowered his voice as he said softly.

“I’m not telling you to get lost.”

Shen Kanyu opened his eyes tremblingly and stared at him. His forehead was wet with cold sweat, and his lips were frosty white. It seemed as if he had just experienced a cold storm. His limbs were stiff and his mind was dull. And blank out for a long time.

Didn’t tell him to get lost?

But it’s time for him to go.

While A’Sheng was still not very angry and could still tolerate him, he has to apologize to him properly. He didn’t expect him to forgive, he was just afraid that he would hold a grudge against him.

He doesn’t want him to remember and hate an annoying person, which will make him very unhappy.

He pulled the corner of his mouth towards Gu Yangsheng, revealing a smile that was so forced that it looked too ugly, but his eyes were still bright—as soon as he saw him, his eyes lit up, and the bottom of his eyes seemed to be filled with the entire star in the galaxy.

“Ah Sheng, I, I have something to say to you.”

He said courageously with his hoarse voice.

“Can you listen? I’ll speak quickly!”

Gu Yangsheng nodded with a calm face.

Shen Kanji waited with bated breath until he nodded his head as if he had received some special order, and after a sharp breath, he hurriedly said.

“You, you were drunk yesterday, and when I carried you to bed, I accidentally broke something, a crystal ornament that you wanted to give to Ah Tong, right? I bought an identical one back, I haven’t had time to bring it to you, I’ll give it to you right away when I get back.”

When Gu Yansheng heard that he realized that he took what happened the day before yesterday as if it happened yesterday. He was afraid he was confused and couldn’t understand that he had been sick all day, he sighed as he said.

“That thing doesn’t matter. You had a high fever and fainted for almost a whole day yesterday. You took me home the day before yesterday.”

“Oh, yes, I… sorry, I wanted to go out yesterday, but I seemed too sleepy and fell asleep again… I remember I seemed to be coughing all the time, wasn’t it very noisy? Did you sleep well with Tian Tian?”

Shen Kanyu apologized to Gu Yansheng and smiled pleasantly.

“I won’t do this next time. I’ll go out early. Colds and fever are particularly contagious this season. I didn’t pay attention. I’m sorry, A’Sheng.”

Gu Yangsheng frowned: “Who taught you to run outside when you’re sick?”

“… ah?”

Shen Kanyu looked confused and didn’t understand why Gu Yansheng asked this. It took him a long time before he said slowly.

“I’m sick… of course, I have to go outside. What if I infect you and Tian Tian at home? The air outside is well circulated, I’ll be fine after walking for a while.”

If he gets well early, he can go home early. He can heat some hot water for himself and drink it slowly in his quilt to keep warm. He always felt that it was very cold outside this year. It was only autumn, but he felt that every day was colder than the previous winter.

But he will soon have no home. Although he rented a good house outside but there would be no more Tian Tian, A’Sheng, no mom and dad and brother, that was not home.

He’ll never have a home again.

“Also, there’s more, A’Sheng, I didn’t want to divorce you before, saying that there’s still something I want to help you, it’s all a lie. In fact, the divorce I can also help you, I just want to rely on you for a period of time, because you really do not seem to hate me so much recently, so I got greedy,”

Shen Kanyu’s voice was getting smaller and smaller, and his smile was also getting dimmer. His brain was in chaos as if he do not know what he was saying and just opened his as he keep saying.

” So when you want to, want to …… divorce, you can tell me, I can, you just say so.”

He looked down into his bag and took out a file and took out a thin piece of paper from inside.

“This… The divorce agreement has been signed by me. I’ve packed up my things at home and found a place to live outside. Why don’t I… I move out tonight? Or what do you and Tian Tian want to eat? I can cook dinner for you before I leave…”

The more he spoke, the more incoherent he became. Halfway through the conversation, he remembered that Song Li was at home. He quickly changed his mind and said.

“Sorry, I forgot that aunt was at home. Aunt can make it for you. I didn’t do well… I’ll buy you vegetables instead…. those at home are not fresh.”

“Your birthday is coming up, and I don’t know what to send you as a good gift …… those you don’t like ……”

Shen Kanyu rubbed the thin paper in his hand, looked up, and smiled cautiously at Gu Yangsheng, handing it to him with both hands.

“How do you like this ……?”