Use My Life For Your Happiness

Ji Zhixian came up, hugged me tightly, then opened her mouth and cried silently.

I hold her, want to touch a little belong to the smell of small north, hard to smell, but there is no taste of him, his warmth.

"Chihiro, take care." She said softly.

I close my eyes and say this, shouldn't it be me?

Ji Xiaobei and I are just in love. You are his sister and you are his relatives. In fact, I have nothing to do with it.

No matter how much pain, no matter how sad, will come one by one.

I'm separated from them. I can't go beyond that. But I'm a person who has nothing to do with them. I can't touch Xiaobei.

I watched them crying, surrounded by a large number of guards at the airport.

Lin Xia said softly, "let's go. We'll go back, too."

Get on the bus and take the same road back to the city.

They're in the front, I'm in the back.

Then there is the fork road, the farther away it is.

You and I can only go that way together, and we will share things.

"Chihiro."

Suddenly call, let me a surprise, this call how a little confused, is calling me?

I turned to look at him and he stopped and said, "here we are."

I lowered my head to take off the seat belt, but he turned around and hugged me tightly, patting me on the back gently: "Qianxun, just a passer-by of life, will always pass."

I just smile, smile heart very tired very tired.

I don't want to say anything. It's as heavy as being cramped, and I feel powerless all over.

He got out of the car and I couldn't even push the door open.

He turned around: "Chihiro, come on, I'll carry you."

I would obediently lie on his back, so he carried me to the elevator.

The warmth of Linxia can't warm my cold heart.

Lying in bed, I only remember how beautiful the moonlit night was in Tibet. That night's moon, round and cool, at that time I was lonely, thought I had lost everything.

But there, I was so calm.

It's not mine. If I don't come, it's mine. I can't run away.

I've tried, I've tried, no matter what I do, I never wait. I have advised myself to explain it with various Buddhist books.

Now, it will.

Life is used to temper, after all this, what are you afraid of losing?

"Qianxun, have some ginger soup."

I picked up the body, on his hand, quietly drinking, slightly spicy ginger soup with a little bit of sweet. After drinking, he wiped the corners of my lips with a handkerchief and said softly, "Chihiro, if you hate me, if you want to leave me, I won't force you, as long as you are happy and take care of yourself. Where are you going and what are you going to do? I won't stop you any more. You're with me for Ji Xiaobei. Now he's gone, Chihiro. Don't be confused. Don't feel bad. If you want to fly, I'll let you fly. I won't trap you. I'll see you unhappy all day long. "

I lay back to sleep, and that night, he didn't come in again.

I used to think that Lin Xia let go of my hand. When he understood that love is not possession but release, I must be very happy at that time.

When I say these words, at this time, I feel like I really have nothing.

Every night I wake up thirsty, he will give me water, light sweet with honey taste, every morning he will prepare hot water, squeeze toothpaste, put the towel.

I've done the washing, and he has put away all the clothes I need to wear every day.

Habit is really a terrible thing. I look at a variety of clothes in front of the wardrobe, but I don't know which one to wear. I look at it barefoot, and the color is so good from light to deep.

Wearing a black dress, I went out with an umbrella when it was raining. I walked from the shade of the forest. The raindrops were very big and fell on the umbrella.

I look up at the rain, whose tears is the rain, for whom sad.

That early spring rose, with rain bent branches, drop by drop to fall.

I stretched out my hand to catch the falling raindrops. I just wet my cold hand.

Inside the umbrella away, outside the wind and rain, did not take the umbrella of the students run embarrassed, laughing, wet hair and clothes, or can not hide the face of that youthful smile.

This is to live, there are feelings, pain, there will still be happiness.

Chen Jingjing saw me and said with a smile, "Hi, Mo Qianxun, you don't look very comfortable. Are you ok?"

"Not bad."

"Then go to class."

"Good."

After class, the rain has stopped, the sun weakly exposed his head, the wind is still whistling, my short hair is also disordered, I take the umbrella, throwing the water above.

He said he set me free, I can go where I want to go, but I don't know where to go?

I just stood outside the neighborhood and walked in.

Open the door to go in, he ma cooked a meal, see I come back to say with a smile: "Miss Mo, the meal is ready."

"Thank you."

After eating, I went into the bedroom. I took a nap every day. Lin Xia was not there. The quilt was as messy on the bed as I had gone. It was so lonely when I sat up.

In the afternoon, I slept all the time without class. When Lin Xia came back, I heard him push the door, but after watching me for a while, I closed the door.

He went to another room to have a rest, which would not affect me.

On Saturday, when Ji Xiaobei was buried, Zhixian called me. She had a fever and was still lying in bed.

It's just a low fever. Don't worry about it.

Put on a black dress and gently take the door to go out. He ma won't ask me where I'm going. I know Lin Xia has a rest today. He won't come out, and he won't ask as he said.

Bought a bunch of sea taro, the cemetery where more quiet, just under a light rain of the sky, the air is so fresh, peach tree rain is still dripping, so bright and moving.

Without you, the flowers are still colored, but they can't smell.

I quietly stand behind your family, your father still does not appear, Xiaobei, born in such a home, is your luck, or your sorrow, never more important than power.

No matter how much I spoil you, I just have a degree.

The three sisters of the Ji family stood there straight.

I offer the taro, in a white chrysanthemum is not much, suddenly Wu, Xiaobei, my favorite flower, every time you send me, this time, I give you.

In heaven, I hope you can really free yourself, don't be sad for anything, anyone.

I like to caress your eyebrows, I like to pull your earlobes, you like to bite my chin, pinch my nose and kick my ass, you also like me to squeeze toothpaste for you.

Now, it's just a memory.

Ji Xiaobei is so lonely on that tablet.

I stretched out my hand and touched it gently, feeling the concave convex feeling at that moment.

"Chihiro." Ji Zhixian came to pull me: "don't be too sad."

"I'm not sad. Xiaobei won't like my constant tears."

I stayed quietly. It began to rain. They all went back. Ji Zhixian accompanied me in the rain and walked slowly.

I sighed: "Zhixian, it's all my fault. I've already received a phone call from Li fei'er. If I had heard her finish at that time, and if I had made a phone call to Xiaobei at that time, I might not have done so."

"Don't think so. Chihiro, Xiaobei's mobile phone is put in the camp at the foot of the mountain because of its bad signal. Even if you call, he can't get it."

But I always feel that I'm not good. After walking out of the cemetery, it's not easy to take a taxi. Ji Zhixian didn't drive here, neither did I.

Maybe the two sisters of the Ji family thought that I would drive Ji Zhixian back by the way.

They looked at each other with a smile, I said: "do you dare to go back to Beijing with me in the rain and drink in the house before Xiaobei."

"There's nothing to be afraid of."

The more it rains, the more relaxed it is to walk.

They are like crazy people. When they are tired, they take off their shoes and run with each other.

The better the rain is, the better the wind is. Let's pour down all the pain in our heart and blow away all our sadness.

Back to the place where I lived with him before, the password was the same as before. I entered the dusty floor, and no one lived alone.

Running to get all the lights on, Ji Ji carried a big bag of red wine, Baijiu and beer. "Don't say anything today, drink what you want, and don't drink it if you don't want to."

What Baijiu is for me? Red wine be nothing difficult. Beer can drink as water.

I found a dish to wash and mixed the wine. How can I not get drunk.

Drunk on the drunk bar, lying on the ground, you can sleep, you can, remember nothing.

Those past injuries, those past pain, those past love, do not remember.

Xiaobei, you have a good journey.

Ji Zhixian had a good sleep. I also had a bad smell of wine all over my body. When I felt sick, I quickly vomited.

The sky and the earth are shaking. I hold the wall tightly and come out. My forehead and palm are very hot. I think I have a fever again and I'm all wet.

The TV was turned on in the middle of the night, and the things in the VCR were the same as before.

I appeared on TV, laughing so happily.

He said: "Chihiro, go a little further, go a little further. Yes, by the almond tree, it's so beautiful. Do you see this? It's the pit with the most terracotta warriors and horses."

I put my hand in the way of the video recorder and cried, "why do you take these ugly pictures for me? I can't do it again."

Then two twisted faces appeared in front of him, making a face. He quickly gave me a kiss and laughed like that: "Mo Qianxun, I'll make a pit for you when you die."

"I don't want it."

"It's a must. It's not certain that people will dig it out like this in the next few hundred years."

I made a gesture to give him a punch: "you have a bad heart. You want people to dig it out, and then let me die restlessly. You show it to people every day."

He laughed: "baby, now I'm a little bit better. I can guess my mind. OK, I'll count the stars, and you'll count the moon and the sun."

I grabbed his earphone and said to the video recorder, "look, this is his punishment. Ji Xiaobei, you villain, go count your sun, moon and stars, your uncle's

The more I look at it, the more I dare not look at it. I can't touch the happiness in the past at night.

I turned it off and went to touch Ji Zhixian's face. I also had a fever.

I pushed her hard, but she still didn't wake up. She called Ji Xiaoyi: "Zhixian, she's drunk. She's in xxxxx, and now she's a little feverish. You can come to pick her up and go to the hospital. The password is the Pinyin abbreviation of my name."

I'm burning a little too. I don't know where I'm going when I get out of this community?

Take out the mobile phone, so many names pressed, still called Lin Xia's phone.

After only two rings, Lin Xia's voice was still clear: "Qianxun."

"Can you come and pick me up? I can't get a taxi right now. "

"Where is it?"

I told him to wait below, and his clothes were still a little wet. It was even colder in the middle of the night.

After only waiting for more than ten minutes, Lin Xia's car arrived, which was incredibly fast.

From where I live to here, even if I get all the traffic lights by chance, I don't have to wait. Unless I drive for more than 160 kilometers, it can't be so fast.

He also brought a scarf out to me. When I got on the bus, he handed it over. He reached for my clothes and felt that they were a little wet without asking.

The speed kept increasing. After driving at a speed of 150 per hour, all the red lights went through. Fortunately, it was still in the dead of night and there were fewer vehicles on the road.

Soon he drove it back. As soon as he got in, he went to put in hot water: "go to take a bath and change the wet clothes."

"Thank you."