Use My Life For Your Happiness

I don't even remember who I am. He asked me in a low voice, "Chihiro, baby, do you love me?"

"What is love?" I asked him.

I really don't know now, please tell me, let me have a reason to sink down, even if you want to go to hell, I will go with you.

"Say you love Ji Xiaobei."

"I love Ji Xiaobei."

"Baby, break up." He said.

In the deepest part of his body, he released his heat.

At that time, my soul, I do not know where it is floating.

Well, this time to break up, you say break up, is the real break up, then we break up, I hope, never meet again.

I yelled, hugged him, and kissed him so hard that there was a bloody smell in my lips.

Ji Xiaobei, what a jerk you are.

In my bed, said to break up with me.

In high tide, what can be more presumptuous and asshole.

Hug him, kiss him, bite him.

The sky has been bright, but also endless tired, he slept so well, that face incomparably good-looking, my favorite man, we said goodbye.

The clothes you bought for me, the shoes you bought for me, the rings you bought for me are all given back to me. Can you dig your heart out of my bone marrow.

It's going to hurt, it's going to hurt.

I pulled things away, my feet still trembled. Last night, it really made me miserable.

After taking a long-distance bus, I went directly to Yujing villa. Then I called Qin Rui and asked him for a key to the property.

There are many wines in his villa. He opened a bottle of red wine and went to sleep smelling the wine.

I don't know how long later, Qin Rui woke me up quietly, and I looked at him in a daze.

"What's the matter?" He asked with concern.

"I broke up with Ji Xiaobei, Qin Rui."

A few can not be heard sigh, he came forward, gently hugged me: "it doesn't matter, does not belong to you, not worthy of your nostalgia."

"I don't like Qin Rui. I don't want to move, I don't want to eat, I don't want to talk, I don't want to open my eyes. "

His hands over my eyelids: "then close your eyes and have a good sleep. After a while, I'll feed you something."

"Qin Rui." I blink my eyes, and the wet things close my eyes.

"Silly girl, have a good sleep. It doesn't matter. I'm your brother."

"You're just a few months older than me. If you want me to call you brother, you'll lose a lot. Brother should be kind to his sister."

He pulled down my finger: "sure, go to bed and sleep. I'll get you something to eat later. It's rare to have a two-day holiday here. I'm in a good mood. After enough sleep, let's go boating and look at the blue sky in the lotus plants. What's the trouble?"

Qin Rui is very kind, so I can't provoke him. I like this kind of kindness very much.

I'm so lucky to have Qin Rui as a good friend and brother.

Real break up, no longer contact, no longer telephone, no longer let him control their own life.

If Qin Rui didn't accompany me for a few days, I think I would be dead these days.

Break up two words, say out easily, sad is in the heart, if really don't love him, that is also, on the contrary will be a relief.

Brush your teeth, wash your face, make breakfast immediately, and call Qin Rui to report.

"Brother Qin, I got up early. It's only half past six. Do you think I'm good?"

Qin Rui is still in his sleep. Half past six is the right time to sleep.

"On purpose," he sighed

"Ha, on purpose. OK, go to sleep. I'm just telling you that I'm up. I'm going to run. I'm going to run to my new day, my new life, my new ideal."

Oh, Qin Rui, this good brother, how to hang up my phone, also don't encourage me.

After walking around the lake, it's daybreak.

Lin Xia's car is not far from the gate. He leans on the side of the car and smokes. When he sees me, he throws the cigarette on the ground and puts it out.

Walking towards me, I shake my hands and deeply breathe the beautiful air here.

"Chihiro."

"What's the matter?"

"I'll take you back." He smiles at me as if nothing had happened: "remember the resume you sent in before? Now a hotel calls our home and says, "please go to work. Come back to Beijing with me. I've made an appointment for you to have an interview this afternoon."

"Work, it's not important." I smile at him: "I don't want to go back to Beijing, Lin Xia."

"Do you not want to go back to Beijing, or do you dare not because I am in Beijing?" He looked a little sad.

Both. Lin Xia, you are in Beijing. I can't afford your affection. How can I face it“ Lin Xia, it's better to divorce. You can leave me behind. You can go to find the right one for you? "

"If I could do it, I would not stand in front of you now." He gave a wry smile: "Chihiro, don't be so cruel, OK?"

It's my cruelty again. I can't respond to your love. It's my cruelty. I told you earlier that I don't have you in my heart.

"Lin Xia, two people's love, a person to pay, destined to be very hard, sorry."

"I don't want you. I'm sorry, Chihiro. Let's go back to Beijing. Let's start again. No one will take your heart, will they?"

Ha ha, my matter, even if I don't say it, I will let him know soon.

Who is Lin Xia? Lin Xia cares more about my life than himself.

"We're going to adopt a child."

"Lin Xia, do you love me, or do you love me?"

"Nature loves you."

I smile bitterly, looking at him bathed in the sun: "if every time I get hurt, I fail, and I come back to you, it's unfair to you. Moreover, Lin Xia, one of the things in reality is that I really don't love you, I'm sorry."

He closed his eyes, as if in distress.

Facts always hurt people, and dreams are always better than reality.

"Chihiro, I won't divorce you."

"It doesn't matter if I can't leave. I'm destined to be lonely all my life. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter."

I opened my hands and staggered across the row of bricks.

If I fall down, I'm not afraid of blood dripping, because I don't want to hold your hand and walk safely all my life.

I'm not going, he's not going, it's like taking root here.

Such stubborn, I do not know why?

His car is placed at the door of his villa every day, and food is delivered to Qin Rui's gate every day.

I've got a headache. I'm so upset that I want to run away.

"Lin Xia." I called his name out loud.

He stepped out of the terrace and looked at me from such a distance.

"What do you want me to do? Are you going to chase me wherever I go? Lin Xia, if I die, will you let me go? "

"Lin Xia, I really don't want to live. I can't find the meaning of life now."

After roaring, close your eyes. It's not high. If you jump down, you may die. Maybe not.

I packed up my things and left. In the dusk of the evening, there was a wind blowing, and bursts of coolness came up. I was walking in the dark with light things.

Lin Xia, I can't fall in love with you, really.

It's because I'm not blessed. It's because I really don't have the ability to love each other.

Ji Xiaobei is a poison. He can't get rid of him all his life.

I know the news about him and Li Hong. It's in full swing on TV. If they are close, it seems that good things are close.

Although the heart is sad, but we are the people who break up, it can only be so, who can not care who? He and I, no one can afford a lifetime.

Lin Xia won't divorce, I won't force him, and he can't marry me.

The night rain came a little early, now let me taste the whole body wet taste, the road is dark, I closed my eyes to walk, fell pain is deserved, this is life, constantly groping, constantly falling.

I think, I really want to leave Beijing, I like a city, there are a lot of my memories, memories, laughter, tears, but I want to leave.

I don't want to see Lin Xia's sad eyes again. I feel sad every time I look at them, because I can't afford what he wants.

It's easy to love someone, but it's hard.

Growing up together, I didn't like it. I still don't like it now. Even if we had sex in bed, we don't love it. It's so clear.

Ruan Li hated me because I didn't love Lin Xia and because I failed him.

Mommy, I'll get up from where I fall. This time, I'll go to France again.

I have to leave soon. I don't want to wait for Ji Xiaobei to announce the wedding date with Li Hong. It will hurt.

Only Dongzi, qinrui and Qiao Dongcheng came to see me off. Qiao Dongcheng wrote me a note and told me to get on the plane.

I can't wait to take a look at it immediately: whenever, whenever, you can get through to me.

I smile, gently embrace him: "ex fiance, get married."

Qiao Dongcheng looked at me with a little disdain: "you can't manage yourself well. Who else do you want to manage? Go there and take good care of yourself. "

I saluted him: "yes, chief."

Lin Xia sent a message to me: "Chihiro, don't go to France. I won't force you any more."

"I don't hate you, and you didn't force me. Lin Xia, wherever you fall, you stand up. Where I lose my confidence, I will stand up. "

He told me four words: Bon voyage.