Villainess Of Hearts

"Why do you keep pushing me away?" His voice was quiet and soft, amethyst eyes gazed at her and searched for an answer. He longed for an answer for her actions, he might have been able to ignore it before but now he asked her.

And it stirred up her heart.

It would end up shaking her world, it was enough to rattle her bones, to make her skin prick with goosebumps and she stared at him, at her most loyal Knight. Her own demise lay in his hands unbeknownst to him. 

But that wasn't right either.

She took in a shaky breath, and she wasn't even sure if it made any sense—if it was right to tell him? What were the consequences, repercussions and effects? But she would never get past this ordeal without telling another person, without telling him of what weighed on her mind and chest. Her Knight was still draped across the table, but akin like a cat, his body was tense and a few wrong words might set him on.

The two of them would never leave the room like before.

"Gine."

Rosalyn Lockhart held his gaze, steeling herself for the words that'll leave her lips. She gulped and fought back from her own trembling self. Her throat was dry, she licked her lips and squeezed her hand together. "The reason for that…" You had killed me in a past life. No, that wasn't the appropriate way to go about it. He would never believe her. "Julius Ginellevé, have you ever been haunted by a dream?"

"A dream, Your Majesty?" His brows furrowed over, the man forgetting himself as he straightened up. "Would you like me to have this Mary Ann to replace your tea with something that'll allow you to sleep better?" 

On the surface level, the man understood her problem, but he also didn't get it at the same time either. Still, the mere fact that he would consider solutions already? It spoke volumes of his concern for her. She bit back a smile and shook her head. "A premonition rather?"

"Rosalyn, dreams are but dreams." He was quick to remind her in a dutiful and logical tone. He gave her a quizzical expression, a perplexed look at the mere notion she gave.

"I dreamt that you killed me."

His eyes widened, clarity and understanding making itself known across his features—the man reached towards her and cupped her cheek with a hand. A determined frown formed and tugged on his lips, resolution filled his eyes. "I would never do such a thing like that. Please do not let something like this—"

She grabbed his hand and held it down, staring into his eyes.

Clearer.

He needed to see it clearer than this.

"The King of Hearts replaced me, the Four Suit Kingdoms had probably been on the brink of war that time and we were exiled—but then you ended my life with your own blade. You told me that it wouldn't hurt, but it did Gine." She said it all in one breath and fought the urge to crack a smile. 

She was finally saying it, she was finally getting it off her chest. 

And it was the funniest of feelings. 

The Queen of Hearts couldn't exactly put a word to it. Relief? Anguish? Disbelief? It was a mixture of emotions. She gazed at him and smiled. "It has hurt me so much that I can't force myself to be as I always am. I cannot be the person that you've loved, I've changed and perhaps you will also change. I cannot tell you all—but it's better that we remain as we are. Our current status as Queen and Knight. This is fitting."

Rosalyn Lockhart probably had said too much. She wasn't even sure if it had made any actual sense. She was breathless and she did her best to say it all in one go to be uninterrupted by questions. The man's hand went limp in between her hands, and then he tugged it away from her.

Did he see her as a freak now?

Some sort of unfathomable person to be thrown away? Surely blurting something like this strayed away from the normal things, even the strange things that a man like himself could accept. It was incomparable to a blubbering woman like her. Men hated it when women cried, didn't they?

Julius Ginellevé raised a hand to his face, and his shoulders were shaking. He rubbed his forehead. "I can't believe this."

Of course he wouldn't.

No sane man would believe her. Even if she had said that it was a dream—he found it incomprehensible, unbelievable and untrustworthy. How much more would his reaction be if she told him that this had all actually happened? What would he think of her by then? Would he still think that she was fit to stay as a Queen?

Her things crashed around her office desk—and she was pulled into his arms. The man tugged her to him as his feet planted onto the ground. "Why haven't you said a word at all, Rosalyn? If this had disturbed you that much, then you should have told me. You should have told me right away instead of keeping this all to yourself."

Her face was pressed into his abdomen, although he was clad in his armor. The cool metal gliding across her cheek until she ended up standing to actually get away from this man's grip. His reaction was so… it was so Gine. She rested her forehead against his shoulder and sighed. He didn't believe a thing that she said but he was willing to comfort her about it. 

He was insane in his own loyalty to her. 

The Queen of Hearts didn't know if she should be relieved or whether she should grieve.

He took her misery seriously, but he didn't believe a word did he? And probably considered it as a figment of her imagination—exactly as she told him. But wasn't he supposed to accept her words without question? "Royals are supposed to have gifts you know, Gine?" She muttered with a frown. 

She had remembered the story, did her mother tell it or had it been the Joker? It was a little blurry but she managed to recall it now. "Nobles and Royals, our blood is far purer than most and thus our capacity for magic and divine gifts—what if this is some kind of warning?" There were no 'what ifs' but she wanted him to consider it.

"A warning that I'll lay a hand on you, Your Majesty? I do not mean to demean you, but you know that's inaccurate. Flawed. I would never harm you—I would never let another person lay a finger on you." Julius Ginellevé said. "I would chop off my own hand before I ever consider doing anything to you."

She was being coddled. She appreciated it when she was a kid, given words that promised her the stars and skies but now it was a little too much. There was only so much that words could do for her—one's actions would be the determinant of whether her fears would be appeased or not. 

She squirmed in his arms and asked again. "Still, consider it for a moment. Imagine that situation, Gine… what could possibly be an event that would lead you to kill me?"

He stayed silent.

The Queen of Hearts expected him to say that he had not a clue—but this was him pondering it, wasn't it? He was considering the circumstances, and that was what she had truly wanted. Rosalyn Lockhart wished for him to give an answer, and it was different from her simply speculating. But at the same time, she wished that he didn't think of it at all—that he would reassure her once again that such a notion was beyond him.

… That there had been other forces at work during that time?

"I would never think of killing you, Your Majesty." He reassured her again. His tone was soft, warm and reminded her of warm sunny days in the gardens. Of happy family walks. It made her think of happier times. And yet the words he were saying were the exact opposite of that. They spoke of death. Of cool logic applied into this situation. "But in those circumstances, you said that you were exiled by the King of Hearts and a war was brewing…?"

"Yes."

A soft sigh escaped his lips and he pulled her harder towards him, squeezing her tightly. Uncaring as it was the only two of them and he squeezed her hard. She could barely breathe until he spoke up again, "I would only do that if I think that there is no other best outcome, Your Majesty." He then pulled away, his gaze focused on her. There was no smile on his lips, "But if I were to end up having to save you by taking your life away, Rosalyn? I'll be right behind you—I'll follow you into the dark. I assure you that. I do not wish to be separated from you."

The Queen of Hearts stared into his eyes and searched for truth.

...If that was the case, did it mean that he was here with her right now? That wasn't the case, however. There was no recognition in those eyes of his, no sense of acknowledgement that her dream was simply something more. And though he might have kept his words and chased after her—he had been unable to follow into this time. 

Rosalyn Lockhart took a deep breath and sighed.

"Your allegiance to me… isn't it too much?" She didn't wait for his answer and looked past his shoulder. She studied the door. "I thank you for it and I hope that your loyalty always remains. But understand my predicament, I'm too...confused. Too concerned about ensuring that the future I envisioned does not happen to even consider anything else."

She still couldn't force herself to be at ease.