Villainess Of Hearts

Never doing anything right—that was one way to describe him. Useless? Perhaps that was what his counterpart would say if somebody were to ask the Queen of Hearts what she thought of him. He was used to it, but at the same time he wasn't. He rested his hand on his chest, taking note of the rising and lowering movements as he inhaled and exhaled. He then checked his pulse and paid attention to the throbbing, erratic beats that went on for a minute. Another shaky breath. It was still erratic but it was steadying down.

Her words echoed in his mind.

Of earlier, yesterday and those in the past.

Multiple times moreover. It was a horrible cycle. In between beautiful smiles and elegant movements, there were harsh and biting words. Madness and anger. Orders for beheading and lashing out in anger followed by iciness.

When she suddenly stopped cold with the anger directed at other people, he thought that perhaps she had started to change. She did indeed change her treatment towards other people, but he was not included in it. Their past prevented him from being counted among those who received her grace.

And try as he might to win her over, it still continued to be a losing battle.

Her most recent show of anger was the slap.

She never had actually hit him before, albeit the fact that she did it while surrounded by the people at the court spoke a lot of her concern over her friend more than anything.

Perhaps she was only overcome by emotions that time.

He didn't know.

But even so, it didn't sting as much as his needless rewinding of her words over and over again in his own mind. Her ridicule, overbearing words that were said in anger were on a loop in his mind. Even long after the end of her anger and she showed some minor regret about it, it still continued on repeat. "Whether she's right or not…" He wasn't exactly sure what to say about it really. His own thoughts trailed off and he was left in a stupor—to a certain blankness.

An empty canvas that was his own mind.

"It's myself that I have to blame."

Alexander stared at his room, taking in all of the luxurious furnitures, shelves and other fixtures that might have made a normal man gawk for hours. The vast richness was something that might have made a person question the state of classes in this Kingdom. While he lived in richness… What about those who lived in squalor?

Surely there was something wrong with the system, right?

Not necessarily. Truth be told, the Kingdom here was simply abundant that he had never encountered someone suffering here. 

There were people who lived simpler lives, but they were mostly content.

It was absurd.

Somehow the world worked in favor of the nobility and monarchy in making the entire Kingdom blessed—or he really hadn't explored and visited the entirety of the lands. But whatever the case might be, the wealth and the abundance was something he didn't pay any much attention to now.

He had already gotten over it six months prior to his arrival in the Hearts Kingdom.

More than that, all of the richness didn't matter when darkness enshrouded the entire room and kept it hidden. Someone might have overthought it and given more meaning to it than someone ought, well, he was the one focusing on it. Trying to find meaning in everything.

Save for the moonlight that spilled out the windows, everything was dark, the pale light only formed a small patch of light akin to a square.

A square.

He blinked, "I'm late to King Ivan's chess match… no, I skipped it entirely." He sighed and rubbed his face with his right hand. "Great, just great."

What kind of excuse could he give to that?

Even he wasn't so sure what to say and that was the problem. "I'm sorry that I wasn't in the right state of mind to play chess with you? Will he believe that?" A snicker escaped his lips.

But even the self-depreciating amusement didn't last.

The man glanced at his left and right, there was nobody here except for him and as much as he wished to pull himself to his bed and hide in his bed sheets—he had already wasted the entire afternoon away. 

Once the Queen of Hearts, Rosalyn left his room… well, he didn't exactly know what happened but time flew by quickly.

And yet he needed to move.

Alexander needed to push himself. If he didn't even manage to get to the dinner and face everyone with a calm demeanor, it would be allowing the Joker to win at his own game. The image of the smug and arrogant face of the man was enough to spite him to action. Alexander Hartsmichdt pulled himself up to his feet, and then sat back down again.

His own energy drained from the mere action.

Somehow, his legs lost strength. His nerves sparked, heartbeat elevating to a level that might be enough for a heart attack. 

It was a good thing that he was too healthy for that.

But how much more panic would strike him when he finally made his way to the dining hall and met the gazes of everyone?

The corner of his lips twitched, "I'm ridiculous—what's the worst that can happen to me now? I'm a freaking King now…" Alexander scratched the back of his head. "Of a Kingdom that's about to fall to ruins. So maybe I'll get overthrown? A guillotine? Now wouldn't that be ironic?" The Joker might have spoken about the Kingdom rising, but he was in a more pessimistic state.

He opted to see the glass half empty than full—just to not get his hopes up, but all it did was drain his energy and hope. Sure, he would do what he could to prevent it, try and tip the scale… but so far, he wasn't exactly doing a very good job, has he? He would never accomplish anything though by staying here and so he finally stood up and forced himself out of the room.

The very moment that he opened the room, a bunch of maids and servants were passing by. They were quick to greet him, bowing and curtsying. He managed a weak smile and waved, "A good evening to all of you, thank you for the hard work—please keep up with it." He knew by the reaction of their faces that they weren't used to such words, but he went along with it.

"We will, Your Majesty!" One of them squeaked until he was followed by others in unison.

Alexander began to make his way to the dining hall and bade them goodbye, "Not too hard though, you guys also deserve some rest." Those were his parting words, and it was enough to make him slightly feel better. The tightness in his chest wasn't as painful as before. It was easier to focus on other people than his own plights and pain.

And that was what had kept him going so far.

But if the Queen of Hearts had heard him speak—she'd reprimand him no doubt. Even the Prime Minister would awkwardly pat him in the back and tell him to choose his words better next time.

Still, he didn't expect that she would bring him to his room earlier. Even if her words were often biting… it showed that she cared. Not specifically at him maybe, but her earnestness in running the Kingdom was something that he wouldn't deny. 

"And now it's about to go down to a ruinous state." A sardonic smile crossed his lips. "Or it could be for the better, wait, Ko—" His steps paused. A realization belatedly came to him that he left… Neo with the Joker. He grimaced at the thought. It was another thing that he would have to apologize for, actually almost everyone on the dinner table needed to get one. 

Alexander wasn't looking forward to it.

Even if he had already said it multiple times didn't mean that he had no difficulty saying it.

But the sudden remembrance of the Queen of Clovers made himself take pause. She was with him during that time. Had he been worrying for nothing? The Joker's words were vague—it didn't specify the Hearts Kingdom. That should have been obvious from the start, but that wasn't enough to ease the turmoil in his chest.

...surely it wasn't pitting the Kingdom of Hearts and Clovers was it?

He didn't know what to do if that was the case.

His friend… she had been the reason why he found the will to survive. And though his priorities might have changed now, a new desire springing up in his chest that had bloomed during his coronation when he saw the Queen of Hearts for the first time.

It didn't mean he would sacrifice one for the other.

. . .

A dark haired young woman stared up at him with widened eyes—a kitchen knife in her hands. She had it pointed at him, but her arm was shaking. Her back was pressed to the hallway's walls. She had a makeshift cloth bag slung across her shoulders, it was filled to the brim with assorted foodstuff raided from the kitchen.

It was probably two in the morning that he came across her.

Everyone was supposed to be in their rooms, a curfew given to them—there were no rules at night, but most stuck in it for their own protection. And here she was hoarding food. Well, he had considered the same option.

He didn't exactly know what to say, but from the appearance of the girl alone… what were the chances that she might be able to understand him? Alexander raised his hands up, if the girl tried to attack him and stab him—well he had a better reach than her.

"Good morning…" The look on her face was blank enough that he had to think at the top of his head. How did one say hello again? "Uh, Annie-Yong?"

"..." 

"I butchered that one up, didn't I?"