Walk Into Your Good Night

03

That day, I drove them to the hospital and left, not staying another minute. However, when I drove slowly away, I couldn’t help myself and secretly glimpsed at them through the rearview mirror.

At that moment, I thought I was a crazy stalker. It made me irritated.

I returned home. When I got out of the car, I found that they had left my umbrella there.

The rain still hadn’t stopped when I smoked and drank on my terrace. I didn’t know how would they return back here, but getting wet was probably unavoidable.

I looked at the road which curved its way from the entrance of the villa complex to where I was. I imagined them lightly running through the rain, blurring into a well-known impressionist painting.

I waited until deep into the night, but they still had not returned. The opposite house did not light up either.

At eleven thirty, I was slightly worried.

The vinyl record I bought a while ago was still spinning. A lazy male voice slowly wrapped around me, so that when I closed my eyes, all I could think of was Tang Jingchuan.

I wanted to see his appearance in the rain; it must be both pitiful and sexy. Yet I didn’t want to see it, as I was worried that he might catch a cold from that.

This was how it felt to like someone, both contradictory and ridiculous.

I opened my eyes again to see the rain getting heavier. I stared at the house opposite me and thought, although all my thoughts were about Tang Jingchuan, they still belonged to me. He didn’t know about all these.

If that person is single and is waiting for love, then I would think that him not knowing about my feelings is a sorrowful thing. However, he was married, and seemed like he loved his wife very much. Then, it was best if he didn’t know.

I saw Tang Jingchuan the next day in the morning. He was alone.

On that day, I let myself off from work in the morning. So when I woke up, I took a shower and made myself a cup of coffee. I planned to find an old movie to watch after finishing it.

At that moment, when I was carrying the cup of coffee to my balcony, I didn’t expect to see Tang Jingchuan, but he appeared before me.

I stood on the second floor and looked down on him. He had just walked to the entrance in front of the house.

“Hey.” I did not hesitate to call to him. He turned at the sound of my voice, searching for a long time. I said, “Here, look up, on the second floor!”

He glanced up towards me.

At that moment, I recalled the day he just moved in. It was like this too; He had looked up at me. We seemed to be far away, but in reality, we were very close.

I said, “You left your umbrella in my car.'”

He was embarrassed, hands fixing the hem of his shirt.

“I’m sorry.”

I smiled. “What are you apologising for? As for you both, did you get wet when you came back yesterday?”

I knew that they didn’t return yesterday, but I couldn’t let him know that I was so interested in him.

He didn’t say much. He only told me that they didn’t.

As for whether they didn’t get wet or didn’t come back home, he didn’t elaborate.

I took a sip of coffee, and put the cup on the windowsill. “Wait for me a bit.”

It was rare for me to go out through the front door. Holding his umbrella, my footsteps quickened. From the garage to the front door, I somehow felt that I was nearer and nearer to spring. As I walked towards him in a trance, it was as if the leaves that had wilted and fallen due to the cold weather were revitalised, bit by bit.

This was just in my mind; I was certain about that.

Apparently, every person overloaded by love were like immersed in hallucinogenic drugs; everything through their eyes were wonderful.

I walked out. He was still standing in the same spot as he had before.

“You don’t look so well,” I said as I handed him back the umbrella.

He smiled at me, shallow and detached.

“Thank you.” He took the umbrella, still unwilling to talk to me more.

Tang Jingchuan turned and headed back towards his home. I should have done the same, since my cup of coffee was waiting for me. Yet when I saw his thin retreating figure, I couldn’t help myself and asked, “Where’s your wife?”

He froze, then turned around to say, “In the hospital.”

I frowned. I honestly worried for her. “How is she? Is she alright?”

“She’s alright.”

Despite that, I could tell that he just didn’t want to talk any more nonsense to a stranger.

“Do you have to go to the hospital later?” I asked him, “I can drive you there.”

“No, thank you.” He gave me another shallow smile. “I found the subway station.”

“But it’s far away.”

“[It only takes] half an hour.”

I didn’t know what more I could say. I couldn’t make myself do oversolicitous things.

So I nodded and returned home.

I stood in the living room on the first floor, repeatedly recalling that obviously forced smile. He made me more curious.

I returned to the second floor and drained the coffee. Then I made breakfast for myself and stayed in my study. I watched a movie for the whole morning.

This movie had a line of dialogue which I pondered over and over again in my mind. It said: only attempted love is romantic.

I opened the curtains and looked over at the opposite house, wondering if I was experiencing romance.