Watashi, Dokidoki Renai Kakumei de Onii-chan Yattemasu

“Class 2-A has decided on café. The in-charges will be Kiritani-kun, Fujisaki-kun and Tsubaki-kun… anyone else wants to join them—”

　When the school’s top-class ikemens, Prince, Kaname and Soutarou, are in the lineup, there’s no hero brave enough to volunteer.

　Well now, the Cultural Festival season has arrived at our Izumino School too. The Cultural Festival is held over two days, on the first Saturday and Sunday of October. It seems that we’ll be prepping using our after-class and LHR time until then.
　Our class had decided to do a café. What’s more, it’s not a normal café but a butler&maid café. Didja think this was Ikebukuro or Akihabara! Although I wanted to do something more leisurely like an exhibition or similar presentations instead of a café with such a concept, our class was strangely eager so I was unfortunately rejected.
　I totally don’t want to be a waiter. It’d be nice if I can wash the dishes at the back or do something that doesn’t require me to appear. Just as I’m thinking of such things, the females’ class representative, Hasumi, throws a bomb-like statement.

“The Sakurai siblings should do it~. Mitsuki’s cuteness is famous even among those in our year and Makoto, being Mitsuki’s twin older brother, had probably been rumoured about.”

“Eh, naw.”
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　It will just be a laughingstock if the completely ordinary me mixes in with those sparkly faces as a butler.
　I’ll definitely end up worrying about our disparate face values. Ah, but a normal face like mine may be good for those ladies with problems eating after seeing sparkly faces. Because it’s terribly embarrassing to eat in front of ikemen for some reason.

“I want to see Mako-chan as a butler too. I’ll be a maid if you’ll be a butler, Mako-chan.”

　Mitsuki looks at me with a fluffy and gentle smile ―― a.k.a. an angelic smile.
　Apparently it wasn’t only me who was done in by that angelic smile. The background characters in my class blushed furiously and were knocked out by Mitsuki’s smile. Mitsuki’s charm, housework and athletic specs became very high before I knew it and she had become a small idol for the class.
　I like the heartwarming and healing type of adorkable otome game heroines so the specs ended up becoming so unbalanced. I’m reflecting on it but I’m not regretting it. The current Mitsuki’s transcendentally cute so it’s a-okay!
　Nonetheless, her academic specs need to be raised more to capture Takayanagi, huh.

　Although I badly want to see the angelic Mitsuki as a maid, I’ve an inkling that me being a butler would be high risk・high return.
　As I groan, agonized between reason and instincts, Soutarou pulls at my sleeve. I glance at him. Soutarou’s dog ears droop dispiritedly as he looks at me with upturned eyes.
　Ahh, I know this pattern very well. It’s Soutarou’s sure-kill technique, the good-for-nothing doggy expression he makes when asking for something.

“I don’t want to be a butler if Mako’s not doing it… I want to be responsible for the same area as Mako.” [Soutarou]
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“I never said I’ll be a butler in the first place.” [Prince]

　Oh, Prince started saying selfish things.

“Sakurai…”

　Hasumi glares at me.
　Even though I shouldn’t have done anything bad, isn’t this starting to look like I’m the bad guy? Cold sweat drips down my forehead and my face turns red.
　The girls in my class are giving me horrifying glares. I understand that the girls want to see Prince and Soutarou as butlers. I understand.

“I got it already. I just have to do it, right? I just have to.”

　Go ahead and laugh at the chicken me, who didn’t have the courage to spend the rest of my school life after turning the girls who want to see Prince and Soutarou as butlers, and the guys who want to see Mitsuki as a maid, into enemies.

　After school. I ended up being ordered to have my measurements taken by members of the Clothing Club and volunteers from my class who’ll be making the butler clothes. It’s quite amazing that, as high school students, they’re able to make tuxedos that will be the butlers’ clothes. This may be the magic that anything is possible because it’s an otome game world.
　Including Prince, Kaname, Soutarou and I, there were 8 people appointed to be butlers. Including Mitsuki, there were 7 babes appointed to be maids. The butlers and maids were chosen among those with higher face deviation values in class, so why me…

“I can’t wait to see Mako-chan as a butler. You’ll surely be cool after all.”

“I wonder. Rather, it’s Mitsuki who’ll surely be cute.”

　Mitsuki in mini-skirt maid clothes with knee-length socks would probably be so stimulating that my body’s gonna split apart.
　Although it wasn’t my intention to be a butler, I may be getting a high return to see Mitsuki as a maid.

“Sakurai siblingsー! Stop being lovey-dovey! Here, Sakurai. I’ll measure you.”
Please read at the translator’s site.
“‘Kay, please do, Hasumi. Should I take my shirt off too?”

　Taking off my school cardigan and leaving it on the table, I approach Hasumi.
　When I ask while placing my hand on my necktie in order to remove it, for some reason Hasumi’s face reddens as she shakes her head fervently. You don’t have to be so embarrassed. At this point, I won’t be embarrassed by just showing the upper half of my body. Because I experienced a number of things more embarrassing than that.

“Height is exactly 178cm, waist…”

　Hasumi measures while the girl beside her notes.
　I didn’t grown even 1 millimeter since April. It was somewhat a pity.

“I thought Kiritani was thin but so are you, Sakurai~”

　I pout at Hasumi’s seemingly ridiculing words.
　The ‘thin’ comment that I’d have rejoiced to hear as a girl doesn’t really make me happy now that I’m a guy. Well, I was never once told I was thin when I was a girl though.

“Shuddap. With this, maybe I should try training or something…”

“Kyaa, Tsubaki-kun, you sure have a nice build~. Your chest is thick~”

　Looking in the direction I heard the girls clamouring, Soutarou’s surrounded by girls making a racket.
　A thick chest that can be made out even from beyond his shirt, a tight waist and a wide back. You sure have pinned down all the stimulating points for girls haven’t you, Soutarou-san.

“Eeh, really…”
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“Yeah, those are great muscles~”

“Maybe because I play basketball. I never really paid attention to them though.”

　I grin at the Soutarou shyly scratching his head.
　For me who fundamentally prefers to watch people in love or the otome game’s heroine-chan doing her best over having my own romance, it’s more fun to watch ikemen objectively like this.

　It’s too tiring to get kabedon-ed, kissed on the cheek or embroiled in fighting scenes. I feel that it’s much more tiring to receive good will from someone.

“Alright, Sakurai, I’m done~. Do cooperate with the photoshoot for the poster once the butler clothes are ready.”
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“Hah? Poster?”

“Actually we wanted Kiritani’s photo but he refused to have it taken if Sakurai won’t be there.”

　In other words, they want me to go along with the photoshoot so they can obtain Kiritani’s photo?
　Taking a camera-ready pose next to the super ikemen Prince is nothing but a public shame play. I’ll keenly feel the society with disparate face values. I’ll definitely, definitely get ‘Sheesh, that older Sakurai, how daring of him, standing beside Prince pfftーhehehehe’ responses!” 

“Absolutely not!”

“There there, do your best. Everyone in the class making top sales for the cultural festival will get 5 meal tickets that can be used in the school store and cafeteria, you know?”

“I do want that but… I want that buttt…”

　With 5 meal tickets, one can have a luxurious lunch with the most expensive 1800 yen set.

“It’s decided then! I’ll contact you when the tuxedo is done~”

“Eh, wa, seriously…”

　Whether I firmly refuse right now or not, I’ll likely lose to the pressure from Hasumi and the others and take part in the photoshoot. I’ve come to roughly understand the flow of this pattern.
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“Mako~, have your measurements been taken? Won’t you drop by my house on the way home? My parents aren’t in today. I’ll be cooking so I was thinking you can come for a meal. Besides, I’m on break from Basketball Club.”

　Doggy Soutarou smiles frivolously as he approaches step by step.
　I got irritated by Soutarou’s carefree smile so I gave him a punch on the stomach. However, that mere punch of mine didn’t seem very impactful as he’s laughing while going ‘What’s wrong, Mako~’.

“I see~. You’re tired, aren’t you, Mako.”

　Soutarou’s wearing a deep blue knit vest above his short-sleeved shirt. Those biceps are wonderful. They also provoke envy and jealousy.

“I forgot my gym clothes in the club room. Do you mind if we go get them?”

　As the sports clubs have already started their training while the Go-Home Club started going home, the corridor leading to the clubroom building quietens down.
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　My stomach suddenly went ‘guu’ even though I ate bread. Although for a moment I feel sorry for Soutarou who has a pure smile on, I’m unable to suppress my irritation. Taking my anger out on him, I knead his butt.
　Pretending to hug, I eagle-gripped his butt. I’m surprised because it’s smaller and harder than I imagined. However, it gets more springy as I knead. It feels better to touch that expected. Grope grope, I think my hands are getting more used to it as I knead.
　It crosses my mind that if it’s a girl’s butt the kneading has to be more gentle or it will hurt but if it’s Soutarou who has such a firm build, it probably won’t hurt even if I knead it a little strongly. With that thought, I knead as I please.
　I heard that there are females with fetish of guys’ butts but I think I understand their mentality a little.

“Wa, eh, uhm, Mako?”

“Hey.”

“Eh, what, Mako…”

　The nervous Soutarou with reddened cheeks is rather cute. I unconsciously laugh out loud.

“It’s nothing. I was just thinking that your butt feels pretty good to knead.”

“Ehh?! What’s up with that.”

“It’s springy. It may be hard but it feels good to knead.”
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　Grope grope, I explain about the feel of kneading as I knead Soutarou’s butt. Soutarou seems to have given up, he’s letting me knead his butt without resisting. Although that appearance is like a dog having its head rubbed, it’s also like a parent watching over his willful child.
　I lean my head against Soutarou’s chest and close my eyes. Grope grope, I knead Soutarou’s butt for a while but, realising that he’d placed a hand on my back, I suddenly become shy.
　It’s incredibly selfish of me to say this even though I did as I please but I’ll be nervous to death if Soutarou kneads my butt now. My body tenses up with that thought but Soutarou only hugs me silently.

“You can touch as much as you like.”

　He rubs the tip of his nose against my temple.
　That single statement he whispered happily by my ear made me realise the severity of what I’d done.

　I’m, really an idiot.