When A Straight Man Tries Getting A Room

§263

Q: How does motel staff see couples that are trying to get a room?
A: No questions, no listening in, no looking, keep on a smile and a friendly attitude;

Q: How does love hotel staff see couples that are trying to get a room?
A: Business as usual. Though of course, if you are fortunate enough to pique their interest, you may find yourself in more quality service~

Yan Jihua, 20, virgin, died an early death.

Is now fortunate enough to test the accuracy of these answers.

§264

Right now, Murong Jihua, holding steadfast against the fiery gazes from all the hotel staff member as he supports the drunk Gary Stu sticking to himself is going “oh fuck me” inside.

Is this seriously the only single hotel around?

Xüeru, were you setting up your good uncle? Were you?!

§265

In the most famous entertainment-all-in-one street of the North District, the owner of the biggest love hotel in the district is somewhat bored.

She has seen enough men and women going about. She has had enough of the slimy, oily uncles and grandpas and their cigars and stinking money. Other than counting all her cash, she really has nothing else to do.

That new gang leader that’s been visiting occasionally sure is cute and fluffy, too bad the good man’s ambitions mean he’s frequenting less frequently recently too. She is terribly bored.

Thinking about how the next time she would definitely stuff a few watery little girls in his embrace the next time she catches that new gang leader, given he’s somehow still a virgin at his age, which would be quite the laugh if the gangs of the District knew… Eh?!

She suddenly spies a Murong Jihua who is entering her hotel with shaky steps.

And he, he he the soft guy who is absurdly drunk leaning on him, isn’t that her terribly missed cute little gang leader?!

They’re here to get a room already?

And apparently, he being a good virgin is because his orientation is different from them peasants?

While thinking so, the owner’s lips are parting into a damned mad smile.

——Ma boy, you’re in for a night you’ll never forget; who did you think you are going highfalutin above all them senpais without first experiencing the many excitements of the adult world? (TL: Basically, she’s pissed he didn’t even tell her his (supposed) preferences and leaving her hanging worrying about his virginity)

§266

Since entry, Murong Jihua has felt the fiery gaze on him. It is seriously uncomfortable.

What else could he do?

What else could the humble, weak and helpless Mr CEO do?

But carry his rival in love to book a room for themselves with a poker face?

‘He Jünle, when are you going to wake back up?!’

Murong Jihua is having goosebumps.

§267

With his mind blanked out and rigid steps, he is finally at the register. He is snapped back to reality by his own dry, parched, cold voice that is saying,

“… A, room, with two beds.”

“Apologies, mister. This is a love hotel. We do not have a room with separate beds.”

The receptionist smiles politely and adds, “please do not worry. We are proud of the size of our beds. They will be more than enough for the enjoyment of you and your partner during the night.”

——The enjoyment he would much rather not partake in!

Murong Jihua’s eyes twitch, but he lets misunderstandings stay misunderstandings, and says, “sure.”

The receptionist is about to mark them down when a whiff of fragrance floats by and the distinctly vixen female owner drifts in front of them, stopping the receptionist with a piece of paper in her hand.

Then, with a smile, she shows Murong Jihua the paper to say, “sure, darling, please pick a theme you enjoy~”

§268

Oh damn, they still have to choose a theme?

Murong Jihua, who has only ever experienced such hotels on slightly questionable paper falls completely into the sweet trap of the owner.

Maybe he’ll go with a simple one, since he’ll have to discuss serious business with He Jünle after he wakes up… Mmph?!

§269

Full-immersion Dungeon-themed room – Chains, whips, candles——Embrace in the fire of love!
Prehistoric Jungle-themed room – Cobblestone, vines, beasts——Embrace in the romance of barbarism!
…

And also anime-themed, ocean-themed, high school-themed, palace-themed…

Everything except for the ‘normal’ themes that Murong Jihua wished for.

Murong Jihua “Fuck.”

§270

How the hell is he supposed to choose?

Just imagine it. He Jünle wakes up and would go ‘woah what’s this? Dungeon whips candles and high heels? Pervert! Don’t come here! Help——’

Kuhum, sorry, he OoCed him.

What will he do? How is he even going to bring up discussions about hiring him as his girlfriend?

After a long consideration where Murong Jihua’s brows have furrowed so much into macarons (TL: …???)——He finally picks the Royal Palace theme. That’s it.

Solemn, authoritative, suitable for serious discussions. Yes.

§271

The room is on the second floor. After retrieving the key card to the room, Murong Jihua, alongside a He Jünle leaning on his body, is sure looking helpless at the base of the stairs indeed.

… It’s so tall.

The stairs are so tall. He Jünle is also so tall.

He is so tiny.

§272

He mulls over it, but is still unwilling to let others help. And again he musters up the resolve he once used to princess-carry He Jünle——

Unfortunately, the last He Jünle fainted unconscious, this one is just dead drunk.

The difference is that, the former is a sleepy beauty, the latter will make trouble for you.

After a dozen or so steps up the stairs with He Jünle, the young man seems to have been made uncomfortable by Murong Jihua’s awkward stance. In his sleep, he begins struggling.

Murong Jihua cannot even say ‘stop moving about’ in time, before the big cat in his embrace has, successfully, humorously, caused Murong Jihua to,

Slip.

Yes, humorously.

§273

These damned bros really aren’t as cute and obedient as the soft and gentle girls!
——Is what Murong Jihua was thinking, ⅓ of a second in;

Should he actively try to be his meat shield and gain sympathy points with whimpers?
——Is what Murong Jihua was thinking, ⅔ of a second in;

Yes, that’s right! He should actively try to cushion under him!
——Is what Murong Jihua was thinking, the last ⅓ of a second in.

Therefore, CEO Murong, completing the highly difficult act of single-handedly adjusting He Jünle’s position——Spinning to the side——for 2 and ⅙ of a circle at 780°——

Successfully crashes on the ground alongside He Jünle.

§274

Neither has cushioned the other, nor can they express their dismay at the other, having had an equally severe crash.

Fortunately, the wide stairs being the wide stairs, they are merely pained and bruised.

§275

“… Hello, yes, this is Mr Yan who just registered with you…
Yes, in Stairs 1, there’s a little bit of a situation and I need to ask for a few of you to assist me in carrying my drunken partner back to our room…”