If It Was Not For Their Bond

Translated by boilpoil
Edited by boilpoil

Who’d Want To Fucking Bottom?!

§434

And after everything, naturally, the rickshaw has finally breathed its last halfway along in a comedic development.

Chen Ergou, the poor, miserable guy, with the snapped metallic chain of the rickshaw in hand, doesn’t even have the tears to cry anymore, as he is pushing the heavy carriage along the deserted plain.

With two shambling figures behind him.

The resplendent moon is casting its rays on the trio; right here, right now, these lonely yet brilliant figures in the cornfield, are the shiniest of all the boys under the starry sky.

§435

He Jünle does not believe in karma or reincarnation.

Until he met Murong Jihua, that is, and right now, he is walking alongside him in the lonely night, his body drenched in dew.

——He thinks, in his former life, he must have destroyed the whole Milky Way
To end up meeting this harbinger of misfortune known as Murong Jihua (TL: A twist on a meme in Chinese that attributes to whoever having great fortune, saying that person must have saved the Milky Way in their past life).

There is not a single step where he would obediently walk forward.

When He Jünle is rapidly hurrying forward, Murong Jihua would follow closely behind;
When He Jünle is putting his hand to his forehead in speechlessness, Murong Jihua would try to massage him;
When He Jünle is trying to relieve himself by the roadside, Murong Jihua would try to help by pulling pant…

“Murong, enough is enough!”

The annoyed He Jünle grabs a random stalk of corn and chucks it right in Murong Jihua’s direction.

Murong Jihua reflexively dodges, so the corn flies past his face and hits the poor Chen Ergou, still pushing the cart along pitifully, right in the back of his head.

Chen Ergou, spooked and visibly shivering, doesn’t even dare looking behind him or rubbing his aching head, and just yells out blindly,

“Boss, we’ll be there soon enough! My home is right through this cornfield!”

“…”

“Ten minutes at most!”

“…”

He Jünle doesn’t really even have a temper anymore.

He goes to pat Murong Jihua on the shoulder, trying to persuade him with as ‘gentle and calm’ a tone as possible,

“We’re almost there, so let’s settle down, alright? Ten minutes, just ten minutes, please?”

“…”

Murong Jihua is just staring blankly at him without even blinking.

He Jünle can only see six words written all across that unchanging poker face –

Playing a tune to a cow (TL: A Chinese proverb meaning, as you probably guessed, doing something futile).

Maybe he’s still too drunk?

He Jünle can only try to coo him with an even gentler tone——Poking Murong Jihua’s slightly puffed cheeks with a slightly enchanting tone, saying,

“Good boy——Listen to me…”

§436

Then Murong Jihua’s finger twitches a little as his mouth twists into a flamboyant arc. He leans his face forward, closer, and shamelessly asks,

“Then kiss me?”

He Jünle slaps him hard right on his forehead.

§437

Then, while Murong Jihua is all dazed and confused, he grabs him by the waist, and lifts him right up as a princess.

Chen Ergou, too concerned with the sounds he’s been hearing, takes a shaky peek backwards.

And, he is all cheered up –

A princess carry?

His boss’ Top-stock is rising again?!

“Lead the way,” He Jünle orders with an impatient tone.

“Right, right,” Chen Ergou is holding his metallic link even tighter while looking genuinely ecstatic, and saying,

“Boss, I’ll keep a lookout, and you can do the guy while he’s drunk immediately tonight! Eh, seriously boss, listen, I…”

“Shut up.”

He Jünle’s head really is throbbing hard. He can feel the pair of hands growing restless in his embrace.

It’s itchy.

Shit, when he agreed to that deal of his the guy didn’t look halfway as clingy.

§438

Though even if he knew, he’d still have done the same.

He Jünle holds Murong Jihua’s arms a bit tighter, as he begins explaining,

“Listen, there’s no link between bottoming and I damned well spoiling him at all,”

He furrows his brows a little as his brain begins looping through all the cringy words that Murong Jihua has gone through, and decides to mimic them,

“If it wasn’t because of our bond for each other, who’d be open to bottoming anyway?
We’d done all the whole deed and all there is to be done; having seen him toil and sweat for my sake, I have nothing to regret anymore.
Keep that red packet he gave you well. That is your ge-fu’s genuine feelings for me and for the Gang that I treasure.”

The moment he finishes speaking, He Jünle just feels uncomfortable in every single cell of his body, having managed to sour himself. His stomach is churning, even his guts are acting up.

§439

Murong Jihua, who is now merely acting drunk and unconscious in He Jünle’s embrace, suddenly tenses up his stiff body.

This time, he…

His eyelashes flutter like mad as his heart makes rapid thumping noises.

Oh no, oh holy baJesus Christ.

That… was seriously cheating.

§440

Chen Ergou, who is standing all shocked where he was, is so touched that, when he gathered his wits about him again, his wide, masculine face is full of streaks of tears.

“Boss! Your love really is too humble!”

——He comes to the exact same conclusion as butler Cui.

§441

Meanwhile, in the Elizabeth Palace in the royal complex, Her Highness Elizabeth is dressed in a sky-blue dress today. She is sitting in front of an exquisite pink tea table. There is a book of fairy tales by her hand, and opposite her is Doctor Ni Haofan, who hurried all the way back from the Murong residence for his regular report on their experimental progress.

Ni Haofan is sprouting waterfalls of words through his mouth, choreographing a whole novella worth of R18+ adventures from the private nightly affairs he overheard of the CEO through the door that night, including all the (fantasised) graphical idiosyncrasies. It is immensely detailed.

While Ni Haofan is absolutely flustered by all the scenes he is constructing in his mind, Princess Elizabeth is only listening to him talk with this plastic smile on her face. Her unfocused gaze makes his hair stand on end.

“Oh… Mu-dage and… That other person…”

“He Jünle, Your Highness.”

“Yes, He Lejün. It is commendable how hard they have worked.”

Her Highness Elizabeth is twirling the ends of her lacy skirt, while asking curiously,

“However… I am unable to understand some of the parts, for example, why did Mu-dage and his partner first spend approximately thirty minutes in meaningless bodily contact and interaction before undergoing sexual intercourse?”

Ni Haofan rolls his eyes in his mind when, on the surface, he merely appears to have paused before carefully considering his words to say,

“It may be… foreplay?”

Her Highness Elizabeth asks, “foreplay? Why? Such a course of meaningless actions achieving nothing but wasting glucose was not something Mu-dage avoided?”

“No, that is not it, Your Highness, I believe that, without foreplay, if Mr Murong wanted to enter… kuhum, it may have been… slightly more difficult.”

Her Highness Elizabeth’s eyes suddenly brighten up as she says,

“I see! Foreplay, then, must have played a role as a ‘biological enzyme’ if we were borrowing biological terms, isn’t that right?”

“… Um, if you have to put it that way…”

“As expected of Mu-dage to have such a profound understanding of the value of ‘foreplay’! His wisdom is as bright as the sun shining overhead; I would definitely not have considered it from such an angle.
It is a great shame. My research institute still has yet to work out a feasible plan for impregnating a member of the same sex…”

“Ni Haofan.” Her Highness calls out with a sweet smile.

“Yes, Your Highness?”

§442

“When the sun dawns, do take me to the Murong residence with you. I shall pay a personal visit.”