When Everyone Thinks You Have a Crush

The car accident was the responsibility of the truck driver that changed lanes in front. After the traffic police came to deal with the scene, Xi Feng took a taxi to take He Yunsheng to the hospital. He Yunsheng’s life was not in danger, but he fractured his right wrist and went to the hospital for an X-ray. Fortunately, it was not too serious.

       At night, He Yunsheng stayed in the observation room for infusion, and Xi Feng sat next to him.

       Even with his eyes closed, He Yunsheng could feel Xi Feng’s eyes fixed on him. He slowly opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling and said, “What are you looking after me for? I’m fine. You go back first.”

       Xi Feng said, “It’s okay, I’ll just observe you for the time being, and you can go to sleep. I’ll call the doctor for you after you finish the infusion later.”

       He Yunsheng didn’t know how to answer him for a while.

       At this time, Xi Feng’s cell phone rang. He took it out and saw that it was Xu Qing’s call. He quickly took the cell phone out of the ward to answer the call.

       Xu Qing didn’t lose his temper this time. When Xi Feng answered the phone, he only calmly said the words, “Let’s break up.”

       That evening Xi Feng ran away before he finished eating, leaving Xu Qing and her parents to sit awkwardly. Xu Qing’s father asked if there was something urgent for Xi Feng and asked Xu Qing to follow him.

       Xu Qing felt some indigestion in her stomach and was unwilling to move. As a result, Xi Feng never went back nor made any phone call. In the end, it was Xu Qing who paid the bill.

       At this point, Xi Feng knew that it would be useless to even say sorry, he whispered to the other end of the phone, “I understand, I’m really sorry, if —”

       Before he finished speaking, Xu Qing hung up the phone.

       He originally wanted to say that he would explain to Xu Qing if he had a chance, but now it seems the other party might not give him a chance.

       Xi Feng returned to the ward, He Yunsheng turned his head to look at him and said, “Is there anything wrong? Just go ahead if there’s something you need to do.”

       “What will you do when I leave?” Xi Feng said as he sat down beside the hospital bed, “Will there be someone else to take care of you?”

       He Yunsheng was suddenly at a loss. He still has relatives and friends, but they don’t seem close enough to come to the hospital to look after him all night. If he was seriously injured in a car accident today, he might have been able to call someone, but now it doesn’t seem too necessary in this situation.

       So he was silent for a moment and answered Xi Feng, “It’s not necessary.”

       Xi Feng said, “Go to sleep. Just pretend I don’t exist.”

       He Yunsheng saw that he couldn’t say anything to make Xi Feng leave, and talking to him too much was making his heart sick, so he turned his back to him and closed his eyes.

       Xi Feng stared at He Yunsheng’s back in a daze.

       The fear that he had when watching He Yunsheng’s car crashed just now hasn’t dissipated. At that moment, he even felt that his legs were weak, but even if his legs were weak, he would run to He Yunsheng’s side to confirm whether he was safe.

       Looking at He Yunsheng’s slightly thin back now, Xi Feng suddenly felt uncomfortable in his heart, not for himself, but for He Yunsheng.

       He thought that even if He Yunsheng was injured, he didn’t even have a person to look after him. Then one day when he gets old, will he have to stay at home alone without anyone around him?

       Just by imagining it, Xi Feng has felt that this uncomfortable feeling was so strong that it made his nasal cavity a little sore.

       He didn’t know what he could do on his own. On such a quiet night, he suddenly wondered if he could stay with He Yunsheng forever?

　　Xi Feng stretched out his hand towards He Yunsheng, wanting to touch his hair. Yet before he could touch it, he suddenly retracted his hand, like he was waking up from a dream, suddenly realizing what a terrible thought he had just had.

       He can’t be that person, Xi Feng told himself repeatedly. And what about that man tonight? He Yunsheng didn’t seem to call him even after the accident.

       If He Yunsheng is not destined to be with a woman, is it better for him to find a man?

       Xi Feng was in a daze, but as long as the scene of He Yunsheng with the man crossed his mind, Xi Feng felt that he was almost overwhelmed by anger. No, maybe it wasn’t just anger, it was more of a jealousy and unwillingness.

       He raised his hand to cover his face.

       Someone once said that feelings could be controlled. As long as you don’t think about it, some feelings may never sprout. But Xi Feng couldn’t hold himself back anymore. The unacceptable secret feelings had already sprouted, it wasn’t like he could really wipe it off by shaking his head and denying it.

       Xi Feng thought he was finished.

       It was midnight when He Yunsheng finished his infusion, and he had already gone to sleep unconsciously. Xi Feng pressed the pager and called the nurse on duty to pull the needle for him.

       At that time, He Yunsheng woke up, but because he was too tired, he soon fell asleep again. This time, it was already dawn when he woke up. When he opened his eyes, he found that Xi Feng was still sitting by the bed staring at him, as if he hadn’t closed his eyes all night.

       He Yunsheng was a little startled.

       Xi Feng watched him wake up and asked, “Do you feel any discomfort?” His voice sounded hoarse.

       He Yunsheng shook his head. Apart from the fracture of his wrist, which has been fixed, he has no other discomfort.

       Xi Feng said, “I’ll call for the doctor to take a look at it later. If everything is fine, then we can go back.”

       He Yunsheng wanted to say that there was no need to do that, and Xi Feng should just go back to rest by himself, but Xi Feng had already stood up and walked outside. A short while later, Xi Feng accompanied the doctor in, asked about He Yunsheng’s condition, checked his wrist fixation, and made sure there was no problem so he could go back first.

       Xi Feng stretched out his hand to help He Yunsheng.

       He Yunsheng avoided his hand and said to him, “I can do it myself.”

       So he said, but after all, he lost one hand that could help him move, and it became extremely difficult to wear shoes. Xi Feng squatted down to help him put on his shoes and then took his coat to put on him.

       When Xi Feng did these things, he was silent. He Yunsheng looked at him, and his thoughts were a little complicated.

       Today, He Yunsheng has to deal with the follow-up of the car accident. He contacted the truck driver and planned to go to a repair shop. There is no other way but to ask for leave for work.

       But he didn’t expect that Xi Feng also takes a leave of absence.

       As the two stood at the entrance of the hospital, He Yunsheng asked him, “Why do you ask for leave? Your wage will be deducted at the end of the year.”

       Xi Feng said: “If not, should I have left you alone? Your hands are still not convenient to use.”

       He Yunsheng subconsciously touched his bandaged right wrist. He said, “It doesn’t matter.”

       Xi Feng did not intend to talk about it with him and only said, “Let’s go. The leave has been requested. Let’s go to eat breakfast first. What do you want to eat?”

       Xi Feng had just looked after He Yunsheng all night yesterday. Whether He Yunsheng wanted it or not, he couldn’t strictly refuse the other party at this time. In the end, he could only say, “Whatever you want to eat.”

       After breakfast, Xi Feng accompanied He Yunsheng to deal with the car affairs for a whole day. At night he took a taxi to send He Yunsheng back.

       Sitting in the taxi, neither of them spoke.

       He Yunsheng looked out the window for a moment, turned his head to look at Xi Feng, and said, “Thank you for today.”

       Xi Feng was a little depressed. He said, “It was because I chased you yesterday that you were in a car accident, right?”

       He Yunsheng did not admit or deny it and said, “That’s because I didn’t concentrate on driving by myself. The injury on my hands is not a big deal. It is enough for you to help me for a day, so you don’t need to worry about it anymore.”

       Xi Feng suddenly asked, “Is there someone who will take care of you?”

       He Yunsheng said, “It’s just a small injury. I can take care of myself.”

       Xi Feng asked him, “What if the injury is severe this time? Is there anyone else who will come to watch over you all night beside me?”

       He Yunsheng leaned back on the back of the seat. He was a little irritated by what Xi Feng said, but he tried to suppress it. He told himself that Xi Feng really cared about him; otherwise, he would not stay with him for so long. But these kinds of rude and provocative words will make people feel uncomfortable no matter how much the other party shows their concern.

       The taxi arrived at He Yunsheng’s place downstairs, and He Yunsheng pulled the car door and got off.

       Xi Feng also got out of the car and said, “I’ll walk you up.”

       He Yunsheng did not refuse, he turned and walked into the neighborhood, and Xi Feng quickly followed.

　　Seeing that the taxi had turned and left, He Yunsheng stopped and waited for Xi Feng to walk in front of him and said in a deep voice, “Xi Feng, let me say it again. I am very grateful for your help. But don’t you think you are being too much?”

       Xi Feng looked at him, there were no street lights here, and neither of them could see each other’s expressions clearly in the dim environment.

　　He Yunsheng continued, “I know that I am a homosexual. In your eyes, I am abnormal. I will not have a complete family or children. Even now, I am in my thirties, and I am alone. You can pity me, and I don’t mind what you think of me. But please don’t approach me in the name of being concerned, and at the same time trying so hard to criticize my way of life! I don’t need you to judge what kind of life I live by your standards. I don’t pity myself. I know in my heart what I want. You go get married and have kids and live your life. What I want is my business!”

        After saying these words, He Yunsheng’s chest is still slightly heaving, and he wanted to fan his face to let the blood that rushed to his brain cool down quickly.

       Xi Feng was surprisingly calm. He looked at He Yunsheng and said, “I can’t do it.”

       He Yunsheng clenched his left hand into a fist and raised it, and then put it down again. He said, “You have a screw loose in your brain, don’t you?”

       Xi Feng said seriously, “I can’t stand to see you alone. I feel uncomfortable in my heart. I want you to live a happy life.”

       As soon as he said this, He Yunsheng’s original anger disappeared in an instant, and what remained seemed to be a ridiculous desolation.

　　He Yunsheng raised his hand and pressed his forehead. After a while, he said to Xi Feng, “Let me put it this way, being single is my own choice, and I’m still waiting for the one who is right for me. I believe I will be happy with the one I love for the rest of my life. All we lack is a child.”

       Xi Feng did not speak.

       He Yunsheng stretched out his hand in his pocket and took his mobile phone. He said, “Thank you for your concern. I will find someone right now and let him accompany me tonight, so you can be completely at ease and not have to worry about me in the future.”

       After finishing speaking, He Yunsheng fished out the mobile phone in his pocket, opened the phone book with one hand with difficulty to look for the number, and dialed it after a few moments.

       While waiting for the call to be connected, He Yunsheng raised his head to look at Xi Feng.

       Xi Feng’s expression was a little sad. He probably didn’t even notice it.

       The call was quickly connected, and He Yunsheng said to the person over there, “Cheng Lei, do you have something to do tonight? Come spend the night at my place.”