Chapter 36 - Alone In the Library

‘Stupid rain. Why is it raining first thing in the morning? Couldn’t it have happened overnight?’ Yiyoung complained as she kicked at the water. She had accidentally stepped into a puddle on her way, so there was no point in being careful anymore. 

Her feet squelched as she walked, socks and shoes drenched from the water. It did not feel comfortable at all. The silence of the empty school didn’t help her mood either. It felt so weird to go to school and not hear the usual chatter of kids talking as they walked past the school gate.

She experienced this odd loneliness every year because she never went on the field tropes. It always felt like she was Alice from the ‘Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland’ who fell into a strange, unfamiliar world.

Joongho had tried convincing her to go, Yiyoung could not bring herself to do it, not just because of the cost, but because her mom’s condition was worse than ever.

Every year, her mom’s doctors would warn her and Joongho, “You should prepare to say goodbye.”

Her heart had stopped pricking at the words a long time ago, but something felt different this time. Yiyoung was able to notice her deteriorating condition, and her instincts told her mom wouldn’t make it.

But Joongho didn’t seem to feel the same way. He had persistently tried persuading Yiyoung to go on the field trip, more so than ever. “It’s alright, just go. Everyone but you is going! I’ll cover the cost.”

However, Yiyoung knew very well that they didn’t have enough to afford the trip. Money was like sand, it slipped through their fingers in an instant. The two of them were well-aware of that. She smiled brightly and said, “It’s okay. I’ll be fine.”

“It’s not okay! What if this is your last chance to go abroad?”

“Don’t worry. I’ll earn lots of money in the future and take you on a world tour.”

“Haha, you sure are funny. Thank you for the offer, but you’ll find that things often don’t go as planned.”

“Why? I’ll definitely make it happen,” she had told him.

Yes, Joongho either did not notice the difference, or he was just pretending not to.

The entire student body save Yiyoung was going to Spain for eight days and seven nights for this year’s school trip. The moment Yiyoung had found out about it, she found herself a travel guide about Spain, wanting to learn more about the country, about Gaudi—the God’s architect—and the kaleidoscope of colors he created with his designs. ‘It’s okay. I read the book and saw some photos as well. How different could it be? It’s the same thing. I’m sure I would have forgotten about Spain even if I did go.’

Yiyoung walked past the school playground before entering the building. The students who were not a part of the field trip had been directed to go to the school library, and she was expecting to be the only person there.

She folded her umbrella and walked down the hallway. A sudden chill made her shiver. Her wet socks and feet were not helping the situation either. ‘Wow, misfortune sure never comes alone.’

After crossing the hallway, she went up the stairs on the east side of the building and arrived at the library, which was located on the third floor. When she opened the door, a spectacled teacher—there to keep watch over the students—lifted his head. 

“Hello,” greeted Yiyoung.

“Hello,” the teacher replied, “Is it raining really hard?”

“Yes.”

“You know what to do, right?” The teacher handed her the signup sheet.

“Yes, I know.” Yiyoung filled her name and check-in time on the sheet.

“You work well even without supervision, so I’m not going to check your work today.”

“Thank you.”

“Go inside now.”

“Okay.”

The students who did not take part in the field trip were expected to spend their time and library and study all the subjects on their own. Yiyoung put her bag down and took her seat when she heard the teacher mutter, “Just like everyone said…” 

He was talking to himself, and it seemed like something was bothering him. “There really is no one, huh? So it was actually true. He’s so wicked. He thinks money can solve everything.”

Yiyoung was curious, but she pretended not to have heard him. It was hard to understand what he meant, but she assumed there was another person who didn’t go on the trip, and judging from his tone, the teacher was upset about something.

She switched her focus onto the school work. She was already prepared to take the SAT exams, but had yet to save up money for the college tuition. At first, she wanted to go into a career which would help her earn a lot of money, but now she just wished to be a doctor so she could help others.

Although she was confident she could earn scholarships, she still needed money to buy school supplies and spend a bit on herself. Her father’s income was solely meant to pay for her mother’s medical bills, so she had been accumulating some money in her saving’s money.

At times, she felt bad for not contributing to her mother’s medical bills. Just imagining a life without her made Yiyoung grit her teeth, but her mother couldn’t live forever, and Yiyoung believed she would understand her reasons.

The fourth period started, and the teacher stood up abruptly. “Just stay here. I’ll be back after checking something.”

“Okay,” Yiyoung replied as the teacher left. Since she had been studying nonstop for so long, she decided to reward herself with an hour of reading time. She walked around the library, browsing through the shelves and picking up books that seemed interesting. 

Her eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to the travel guide of other countries. Since she couldn’t go there physically, Yiyoung wanted to ‘travel’ through the power of reading. Reading about the countries enriched her knowledge; she was an expert at which the tourist spots were located in each country. It made her feel confident. No one in this school knew more about other countries than her.

However, she forced her eyes off the travel guides and chose to look at the literature section. 

‘This one seems interesting,’ Yiyoung noted as she picked up ‘La Petite Fadette’ by George Sand. This was one of the times she wanted to read novels about love stories. She took her seat again and opened the book, immersing herself in a new world and completely forgetting where she was.