Chapter 57 - The Utter Loneliness

“It would have been difficult to reject the invitation,” Dr. Kang tried to explain.

“So, your name will now be on the medical journal. That’s a homerun for you.”

“Don’t say that… I didn’t even want it.”

“I remember you saying that about the recent seminar, too. You’re always like this. I want us to compete fairly, but I didn’t expect the people around you to keep helping you,” Yiyoung sneered.

Dr. Kang’s cheeks turned red. “Why are you being this sarcastic? You already know why.” 

Yiyoung sipped at her coffee, trying to swallow her anger with it. But the coffee only scalded her throat. Bitterness permeated her mouth as bile rose in her throat. “No. I don’t know. Why is it?”

“My parents have huge expectations for me, and I want to satisfy them.” Dr. Kang sighed.

Yiyoung’s stomach churned suddenly. “So you’re saying that I should be alright like this because I have no parents? Well, that’s a low blow.”

“S-sorry, that was my mistake,” he tried to come up with excuses, “But what could have I done when the professor directly asked for my help?”

Yiyoung met his eyes head-on. “You should have denied it, no matter what. You should have told him, ‘Professor, this isn’t fair. I won’t be able to face Dr. Yoon if I accept this.’”

“Ha! That’s ridiculous. You’re not tolerant at all! How dry.”

“You are talking about being tolerant? Do you honestly believe all this is correct? Is it normal for me to be treated like this when I’m working so hard?” Yiyoung questioned with a cold smile.

“What the hell? I told you about it because I care about you, but you can’t even appreciate my goodwill. Can’t you just let it go? There are things in life that can’t be controlled. You’re humiliating me now.”

Yiyoung scoffed at his words. Dr. Kang had only been pretending to be so nice, loyal, and sympathetic so far. 

“Anyway, I’m sorry,” continued Dr. Kang, “I can’t deny his request. Besides, I’m confident that I can do well. Why else would I accept his request?”

No, Dr. Kang knew he couldn’t win the competition against Yiyoung otherwise. “Professor Jung will call you separately and talk to you about it.” 

“He’s probably going to ask me to not dream about getting the promotion and continue covering everyone else’s shifts at the ER.”

“God, you’re so twisted! That’s a part of our mission as a doctor. Why are you talking so harshly?”

Yiyoung threw her now empty cup in the trash. “Dr. Kang. Don’t mess with me. Stop pretending you’re a nice person.”

“W-what?” Dr. Kang could not believe she had just said that to him.

Her face twisted into a hateful expression. “Don’t try to preach to me. Don’t think you’re ahead of me in this competition simply because you get all the help you need from your school ties and connections instead of relying on your actual performance.”

Dumbfounded by her words, Dr. Kang looked down. “You’re being arrogant, now. I admit you’re good, but you’re talking as if no one else is better than you.”

“Even if there’s someone better than me, it definitely isn’t you, Dr. Kang.”

“If you think that way, fine. But I’ll tell you what nobody else tells you, Dr. Yoon. You keep telling me that I have a good family background which you don’t, right?” Dr. Kang instantly dropped his mask. There was no need for him to be nice anymore. “Well, that’s right. My family is made up of generations of doctors, including my parents, brother, and sister. They’re all influential doctors with connections at the most high-end hospitals.”

Yiyoung didn’t bat an eyelid as Dr. Kang continued to prattle on, “You know what’ll happen if I become the professor and lead the ER? You might be able to enhance the general performance of the ER, but I could easily improve its overall quality. Getting the financial budget of the ER is not easy. And what about getting the necessary equipment? Not just anyone can acquire them! It’s all done through lobbying, and not just anyone can lobby.”

Dr. Kang jutted out his chin and gestured toward her. “All you have are your skills, Dr. Yoon. How are you going to appeal to the investors? How would any of them measure your performance until one of them comes to the ER as a patient personally? And, you know what? Performance is one of the basics. Me being born into a family with a great background is also one of my abilities. So instead of being sarcastic, I think you should accept it now. People always talk like you when they have nothing else to comfort themselves with.”

Yiyoung fiddled with her ring as she listened to him. This ability Dr. Kang was talking about, Yiyoung had it too, now. ‘Should I talk to Muyeol about it? It’ll allow me to compete against Dr. Kang on a levelled field for once… Ah, damn it, I’m such an idiot!’

Yiyoung turned grim. She had had experiences like this countless times, and she was proud of herself for always overcoming them. And yet, here she was, thinking about asking Muyeol for his support… She clenched her fists, suddenly feeling disenchanted by reality.

Dr. Kang noticed the look on her face and changed his approach. He suddenly started comforting her. “Hey, let’s stop talking about this now. You know how much I admire you, Dr. Yoon. You have a dominant presence in the ER, so let’s keep our relationship on amicable terms.

He tapped on her shoulder and continued, “What can I do if the world is so unfair? But it was due to this unfairness that you pushed yourself this far.”

“You, of all people, shouldn’t say that. Such words can only be said by those who actually had to overcome the unfairness.”

“Alright, alright. Good luck, Dr. Yoon.”