When I Shall Say Goodbye

Jia was taken aback by such request as much as Anthon. But then, she heard his voice from the background.

"Anna! " Seized by a momentum of sadness, disgust and anger, he sprinted towards her to grab the phone.

Expecting Anthon's reaction, she feigned a look of innocence.

"Hon? " She asked nonchalantly , in stark contrast to Anthon's flared up aura.

Jia interrupted the heated impact of the moment as she spoke into the line again. "Miss Anna, it's such a small request. I'd be glad to but let me talk first to Anthon. "

Brought back to what she promised, she handed the phone to him. No one knew, even Anthon, the turmoil inside her heart.

" Ton, what would you like me to sing? " Jia asked, depicting the voice of a succesful and absolute pretense.

"I never asked you to do that. I don't even want you to be there. " He said while throwing a disappointed look at Anna.

Jia laughed. "Come on, Ton, it would be one of the most important moments in your life. "

Suddenly forgetting his anger upon hearing her, he softened and Anna saw those tender looks in his eyes.

"What song will you sing? " He said, completely setting aside the fact that the event they were talking about was a fatal one.

"What do you like and which part would you assign to me? " She asked further, still able to shield herself against that awkward moment.

"I don't know. " He smiled and the sparks in his eyes blazed up the hidden fury inside Anna's heart.

"Okay, I have already thought of a song. " Her self - temperance suddenly wore off as she thought about it.

"Let me hear it first. " Anthon said as he settled himself on the couch and crossed his leg over the other.

"Okay, I'll put the phone down. I'm in my music room. "

Jim knew about her love for music that he converted one room of the house into a music rehearsal space.

It's a professionally soundproofed room in an acoustic environment, defined by its purpose and layout. It was also designed to keep an unwanted sound out.

Jia always spared time for her so called 'music hour' by singing few songs everyday before she set out to any activity and before she would retire into the night. And it so happened that when Anna called her up, she was in this room. It was already late at night and such unexpected calls would make anyone think it was an emergency.

The moment Anthon was in his room, he shifted into a video call in which Jia unexpectedly accepted. Eversince he left, and even before, Jia was very careful in accepting calls from him. And, in fact,this was their first video call.

After adjusting the focus of the camera, Jia stood in one of the corner, holding out her microphone.


She gave him that graceful smile which always made his heart go crazy.

"Ton, I'm going to sing the 'Broken Vow' by Lara Fabian, in case you have not heard it yet. " She then laughed lightly as she hang back her head and then ended it with a lingering, pursed smile with that graceful tilt.

Then, the sad music floated into the air and Jia looked down on the floor, contemplating and setting up her mind to immerse herself into the song. It then gradually progressed into a soul - finding and heart - searching ascent, wrapping himself completely and penetrating deeply into the innermost chamber of his being.

"Tell me her name

I want to know

The way she looks

And where you go

I need to see her face

I need to understand

Why you and I came to an end..."

The message of the song stung into Anthon's heart. Damn it, why did he feel that she was confronting him of his betrayal? Why did he feel that she was hurting in the truth that finally he had found Anna, the woman who had successfully taken her space in his heart?"

"I need to see her face, I need to understand... " Such words sent remorse into his heart for making her think that way...

"Tell me again, I want to hear

Who broke my faith in all these years

Who lays with you at night

When I'm here all alone

Remembering when I was your own."

This was getting worse! These lines just made his heart quiver...He looked straight into her eyes which were speaking to him, hurting but forgiving.

Anthon got carried way. He stared at her as she closed her eyes, shifting from a pained expression to a moment of release.

"I'll let you go, I'll let you fly

Why do I keep on asking why...

"I'll let you go, now that I found

A way to keep somehow

More than a broken vow...."

Jia was always an emotional singer. She could always effectively portray the messages of her songs. In every swing of her hands and arms, in every crease of that brows to signify a bleeding heart, in every sway of her body and abrupt motions to depict the strengths and the weakness of the message, her harmonious movement to the rhythm and the tempo, she succesfully relayed the message of loneliness, pain of betrayal, forgiveness and release.

Anthon tried so hard to hold back the threatening expulsion of his emotion as he continued to watch her.

"Tell me the words I never said

Show me the tears you never shed

Give me the touch

That one you promised to be mine

Or has it vanished for all time..."

"I'll let you go, I'll let you fly

Why do I keep on asking why... "

Anthon may still be staring at her but he did not see her anymore. He was so wrapped up as the moment of realization dawned on him that she was speaking to him through this song.

He did not realized that the song had already faded into the background and what took place was the suffocating sadness conveyed by the deranging silence. Jia had already turned of her phone and he was left wandering alone with his thoughts.

"I still love you, Jia... And it's not about her. "

A loud knocking at the door made him snap back into his senses. He washed his face quickly and dried it before he came out.

"You're crying again. What did that woman do to you? " She asked, irritated and hurt.

"Nothing. She just sang. "

Anna glared at him, frustrated and unbelieving.

"Alright. If she would only make you cry on our wedding, then I'll hire another better singer. "

Anthon looked down at her pitifully. While still early and the damage was not yet too great ...

After all, this was her fault. If only she remained true to her words, perhaps...

Because Jia was not just the 'that woman' she always used to call her..and that there was no other better singer than her.

"Anna, I'm so sorry...I could no longer lie to myself. And I don't want to hurt you anymore. "