When I Shall Say Goodbye

"By the way, let's discuss about the list. Thank you so much for sparing your time for this. I know how busy you are." She said this to divert from their current topic.

To ease out the atmosphere, a change of the topic was the best option. " How much do you know how busy am I? " He was obviously teasing her.

"Of course, you told us about it during our group chat. " She also found her reason.

"Did I? Does it mean you remember everything I said?" He further tested the depth of the waters.

"It so happened that your statement marked somewhere. " She answered without smiling, trying to avoid his question that suddenly irritated her .She no longer knew how good she could hide this time.

"Where? "He taunted while a big smile errupted in his face, making eyes glitter.

"Stop it. We're no longer teens. " She scolded him but inwardly, she was flattered.

"You know, I have a wish. " His grin slowly disappeared.

She stared at him, noticing his change of emotion.

"How I wish I was brave enough. "

"Are you accepting the fact that you have been long a coward? " She suddenly laughed and pretended she was kidding but there was a deeper intention behind her statement. She, all of a sudden, remembered how she was hurting during their secondary years. Most of all, her self-destructive and disgraceful act on that night in Blue Whale Mountain Resort.

"Yes, I am. I would have not lost someone."

"Really? Have you went through something painful or there was some time in your life where you regret over a decision?" She giggled about the half truth she was presenting.

"First love never dies." He said with a sad tone in his voice.

"Ayanna?" She couldn't somehow feel any weight in bringing up her name again. She knew that she held no significance.

He laughed.She was not surprised, either. " If there was any joke in my teenage years, it was her."

"You're never been sincere." She smiled with a sense of bitterness.

" Is that how am I to you? "His eyes narrowed.

"You're not? " She quickly bit back.

"Call me a thief, not a liar or pretender."

"Thieves are both liars and pretenders." It was a statement of retaliation for what she had suffered all these years. To conceal the degree of humiliation that was surely showing in her eyes, she looked down and stared at her coffee. She, then, gulped down the half remaining fluid in her cup. She pressed down the call button at the side of the table and an attendant came right over.

"Another cup, please."

"Yes, ma'am." The attendant made a slight bow and immediately left.

Little did she know that Anthon was just observing her and had seen all the sudden craziness she had just done.

"Silly woman! When did coffee ever been a replacement of an alcohol? I never knew you're such a drunkard."

She suddenly felt she was burning in shame.Why was she acting like a teenage girl. She did not dare to look up at him until the ember of the coal he was firing deep in her heart was completely put off.

"Hahaha! Next time, be true to yourself. By the way, what happened to Ayanna? " She was just pushing for another topic.

"I don't know. We are going to find out, right? I have the list. But before we will start digging down, what happened after we meet in Blue Whale? You disappeared..."His tone became serious and his eyes were seeking for an answer.