When We Were Perfect

PREVIOUSLY

He was still gazing at her intently, rubbing her hand with his thumb, deep in thoughts when the door opened and the nurse came back holding a small bundle cleaned and wrapped in a blue cloth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Daniel shivered when the nurse walked towards him and ever so gently placed his son in his arms with a smile. The tears that he so badly tried to keep in control finally rolled down his eyes as he captured the sight of his tiny and fragile son who was asleep in his arms. The doctor smiled and signalled the nurse to follow her behind leaving them to their privacy for the time. Daniel felt he couldn't breathe at the moment as he lifted the baby and pressed a small kiss on his round cheeks, the surroundings became a blur to him as he lovingly gazed at his son. He could see that the child was a spitting image of him although he was yet to open his eyes, the only thing that he got from Amy was her button nose. There were no words to describe the euphoria he felt seeing a part of him. Having a baby is another chance to open your heart to another human other than yourself, it is like a deep emotion something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean. It was like a part of his soul was looking and waiting for this child to arrive, his heart was irrevocably gone the moment nurse placed him in his arms. An overpowering sense of responsibility was passed to him when you hold your baby was the first time, it's like improving yourself to do everything better reminding yourself that how even your shadow can influence him. Daniel smiled at the little human being in his arms that had brought him so much happiness and love without even being in this world for an hour. The tears covered up his cheeks as he softly places his head on his fragile one savouring the moment, making himself believe that it was real, his son was real and here.

He always heard about the unconditional love a parent feels upon seeing and holding their child for the first time but he couldn't believe it since his own parents never gave a damn about him, he always wondered that this type of love existed somewhere far away from his world but he was shocked at the overwhelming emotion of love he was going through at the moment. He mentally vowed to himself at present that he would make himself the father a child always needs and be there for him all the time. He would never become something like his pathetic parent, he would shower his son with all the affection, love and protect him from every harm. In other words, he wanted to become something his parents were never to him. It was a true and bitter reality that the relationship between him and Amy was still rocky but he was willing to do anything for his child, it was like he gave a new reason to live. 

The nurse came back quietly opening the door and shutting it, smiling at the father and son who were enjoying their moment.

"Me Saritas, I am sorry to disturb you but there are some formalities that you need to do, signing these forms and most importantly you need to fill the child's birth certificate." She rambled professionally. Daniel felt a bit agitated at her for ruining his moment with his child but then gasped inwardly remembering that he never discussed baby names with Amy before, although the thought did came to his mind while setting up the nursery. He tried to initiate the topic with Amy but she was overly tired and pissed today as the doctor told her to quit working during the last few weeks of her pregnancy. If he would have persuaded her that day for names, she would have beheaded him. After that, he eventually settled on going with the flow and decide later but it totally went out of his mind. Now he realized how irresponsible he was,

"Well, we haven't decided the name yet, can I fill the form later when my wife is awake!" He said sheepishly looking at the nurse who chuckled.

"Sure Mr Saritas, we will eventually have to wake her up for the feeding in an hour or two!" The nurse replied glancing at the sleeping mother before reaching out some papers to him.

"Meanwhile! You can sign these." The nurse said, Daniel nodded and slowly walked towards the crib that was on the other side of the bed on which Amy was asleep, careful not to trip and fall. He gently laid his external heart in the crib placing a feathery kiss on his nose, careful not to wake him before he turned to the nurse taking the papers and filling the necessary information meanwhile the nurse quickly checked Amy's vitals and collecting the documents from Daniel went out.

..............

The sun started rising slowly until its bright lights penetrated the room. Few hours have been passed and Daniel was gently rocking his son who had started fidgeting now.

"Tesoro..." Daniel slowly murmured caressing Amy's hair while rocking his son in his arm. Amy started to shift in her sleep, groaning both from the slight pain as well the sun rays that fell on her face.

"Look our son is here!" He said simpering, expecting her to hold their son. Amy opened her eyelids, slowly gazing around and absorbing her surroundings until her eyes fell on Daniel and then on the little child who was wrapped securely in his arms. She stared briefly at him for a while, trying to perceive his tiny features before a look of discomfort contoured her face.

"I know he is here Daniel, I was the one who gave birth to him but can't you see I am tired. Let me sleep for a while!" Amy grumbled flatly cuddling the sheets. Daniel gaped at her.

"Tesoro! But don't you want to hold your son once, you haven't even looked at him properly."  He said shock etched on his face. What kind of a mother doesn't hold her child when they are born, he understood that she didn't wanted the child from the beginning but he silently prayed and was hopeful that something inside her would stir after seeing him, the fact that she carried him for nine months and went into ten hours of long and excruciating pain. If he could feel such a strong and deep connection with his son the instant he saw and held him how couldn't she?. How much had he wished that Amy will embrace their child happily once he is born but the present moment told him that it was more unlikely to happen.

"Daniel if you are done with your words can please leave me alone to rest!" Amy rasped with irritation in her voice, a frown etched on her face showing her disapproval. How can she behave so heartlessly? Daniel felt so disappointed at her, his heart shattering over the thought that she was rejecting their own son. Like it didn't even mean a single thing to her, no emotion of love or even adoration just irritation.

"Tesoro! Hold him for once, look how cute and small he is!" Daniel pleaded in a helpless voice wanting her to give their son a little attention. Amy sighed irritatedly before easing herself up a little into a sitting position. Daniel smiled a little and gently places the little boy in her arms. Amy held him with a loose grip enough to not let him fall as she glanced at him, her eyes anxious and hesitant. Her mind went numb seeing his face, it was just like Daniel's, every little detail about him resembled Daniels

"He looks just like you!" She mumbled slowly appearing to be distracted.

"Yes he does but look he has your nose and who knows he may even have your eyes. We have to wait for a little till he is awake!" Daniel responded fondly looking at their son and then gazing at Amy, but the look on her face faltered his smile.

She was staring deadpan at their son but what disturbed him the most was that there wasn't an ounce of affection in her eyes. They were blank with signs of distress on her face. The whole scene was so harrowing for him to bear as he clenched his jaw. 

"I want to rest!" Amy plainly responded passing him the child like an object, he reacted immediately by taking their son in his stronghold. Amy leaned back on the bed in a comfortable position cuddling the sheets and turning her face away from the sunlight closing her eyelids. Daniel felt crestfallen as he glanced sadly at his son and quietly walked outside holding him close to his chest, his eyes filled with hurt and disappointment for Amy.