When We Were Perfect

"Thanks for telling me that!" Amy said with a dry laugh.

"It still doesn't justify your behaviour, that you hated him and neglected both him and Ozan." Silas sneered as if he suddenly remembered that.

"I don't hate him, Silas, don't say that. It was so sudden and hurting Silas. Ayla died and then mom's health deteriorated, you left me, the marriage condition and Ayla's case. I just made him a victim of all my frustrations and anger, it didn't sit well with me to see the person I called my best friend as my husband. At one point, I felt the intensity between us and instantly dodged it thinking that how could I feel that way with him. I guess it just infuriated me further and I ignored him to the point where I became plain rude. I was fighting my own battles which I wasn't successful in and then Ozan was born. I wasn't ready to be a mother Silas, I wasn't. " She cried out, wringing her fingers in her lap.

"I wasn't myself then and kept on defying reality, blocking out every person and focusing on my case. I didn't wanted to once again believe that my life will be perfect, a part of me was afraid with the assumption that whomever I loved would leave me. I didn't wanted to go through that again and I broke off the friendship I had with him the day he confronted me because I thought he was shuffling my life. I guess I took it too far!" She shivered, lowering her glistening eyes. Silas felt an ounce of sympathy for her but then the heartbroken look on Daniel's face washed it away. All this could have been avoided if she didn't dodge everything and crush his friend's feelings, letting out all her frustrations on him.

"Tell me, Amy, did I ever hurt you despite my feelings. Did Daniel tell you about his feelings? No, because he didn't want to lose you, I am sure the day he had told you about his feelings you would have distanced yourself. No one ever did anything to hurt you but what about you Amy. In your stubbornness and hostility, you hurt everyone around you, take a look at yourself you aren't the same Amy. You have put all your effort into seeking revenge that you forget who needed you the most, who was there to help fight your battles with you. You even kissed me in front of him, you claimed to be her best friend but do you even know a single thing or shit he has been through all his childhood. You confided in him but did you ever let him confide in you. I always called you a brat when I first met you but Daniel always denied that. No one forced you to love him, he didn't deserve what you did to him, especially Ozan. I never thought a mother could be like you. In this game of destiny, Daniel is the one left broken and used!" Silas explained with a glint of sadness in his eyes.

Amy just stared down, the always confident Amy unable to look him in the eye as she wiped her tears. 

"What do you want from me, Amy?" Silas asked, eyeing his watch.

Amy swallowed, not knowing where to start from.

"I don't know Silas, I messed up pretty badly this time but I-I really n-need to talk to him, I know I shouldn't have done what I did, I think there is no way I can justify it enough but I want you to help me in fixing everything!" Amy asserted, wiping away her tears with the sleeves of her hoodie and staring at Silas who sat there observing her expressions. Indeed there was remorse in her eyes, how quickly she regained her senses. He wanted to scoff at that.

"It's not easy to mend the broken bonds, Amy Saritas!" Silas said, emphasizing the surname. Amy flinched but composed herself.

"If my stubbornness and negligence can break everything, I will make sure to rebuild everything with my determination!" Amy said with a certain firmness in her voice although her insides were still quivering. Even Silas was shocked to hear that but kept on the same serious face.

"I can't help you even if I want Amy!" Silas said, shaking his head.

"Silas, please I real-----" 

"He left!" the unexpected words left his mouth.

"L-left!" Amy repeated the word, shocked and confused.

"Just for you to know he didn't run away like me. It's unlike him to run away from his problems no matter how tormenting they are. There was a problem in our headquarters in New York and being the CEO he needed to take the matters into his own hands. You know when it was announced he didn't want to go in the first place because of Ozan and you but I guess the things that happened last week made him take his decision. He left a few days ago!" Silas informed in a normal way like he wasn't dropping a bomb on Amy who sat there still unable to respond.

'He left' the word her brain was processing.

'Did you ever give him a reason to stay!" Her subconscious screamed.

Guilt struck her with full force as she fiddled with her nails. Silas sighed heavily, seeing her not responding, it was a rare sight that Amy was out of words in her life.

"H-how long?" Amy managed to say in a low voice.

"I can't precisely tell you that, it depends on how long it takes to settle everything down!" Silas said he didn't prefer to tell her but then seeing her state he felt like she at least deserved to know that.

"Leave him alone there Amy, let him get through this for a while. I believe this space will be good for all of us. Take this time to evaluate, ponder and reconsider yourself. If you want to repent, otherwise move on, you are free to do whatever." Silas told her before standing up and turning away.

"I don't know why I am telling you this Amy but if you ever visit his house, there is a scrapbook-like a diary in his closet under the towel rack. It will uncover things for you in a different light  and I hope you will be able to bear it." He said solemnly before walking away leaving behind a still Amy. This time him walking away didn't bobotherer much as it did before, either she was already not in a good state or either her illusion of loving Silas was finally breaking.

********************

Have you ever felt moments of intense and utter loneliness that you just want it to end? Amy felt the same starting at the dark house in front of her. The same house she walked into as Mrs Saritas, where she spent almost two years of her life not even taking care of her surroundings. The house felt familiar yet like she never lived here before but wasn't it true that she only came home to sleep or when it was necessary. The guards on duty stood straight and opened the gate seeing the familiar car. Amy parked her car on the same spot beside Daniel's car and numbly walked inside the house. It wasn't dark inside but dimly light and quiet as she stepped in. A sudden chill ran through her spines as she passed by the lounge and gazed at the couch where Daniel would wait for her, his smile and concerned eyes as he greeted her and she would rudely walk away with a curt answer. A lone tear fell from her eyes as she realized he wasn't there waiting for her.

She climbed the stairs and eventually reached his room; it was like her feet were carrying her on their own accord. His room was as before, not a single thing out of place, the smell of his woody and citrus cologne lingering around as she inhaled deeply. Slowly she stepped further in, she hadn't been here much. The moonlight was slightly illuminating the room through the large glass window which provided a shade of the swimming pool in front. She gazed around the empty room only to halt on a certain picture frame of her neatly placed on his nightstand with a cursive tesoro written on the end. She gasped, covering her mouth, backing away. She touched the door of the closet and remembered about the diary Silas was talking about, shakily turning the knob she went inside and began to search for it, hoping it to be in the same place and luckily it was. Sitting on the edge of the rack she began to flip pages only to gasp loudly with widened eyes, her jaw drops when she sees her pics all the way from childhood to a few years back, some were group photos some with Daniel and mostly there were her solos, beneath them was dates and events written. The first time she met Amy to everything that happened over the years.. His emotions feelings and his love everything was written there as he poured them out.