When We Were Perfect

Chapter 78

We were low minded and sinners

But we used to melt your heart.

Forget all the mistakes by thinking only

That you used to miss us a lot.

"No! No, this isn't happening. Not now!" Daniel mumbled to himself, staring at the person he didn't wanted to face again but guess what destiny didn't want him to be at peace. This wasn't the time to lose himself and fall all over again yet just a few feet away stood the person who meant everything to him.

His heart pounded heavily against his chest, beads of sweat lining his forehead despite the chilly weather as he tried his utmost best to remain calm and regulate numerous irrational thoughts and emotions swirling within his mind. He couldn't lose his stance or else he was at a loss.

His entire body, every single muscle and nerve became numb suddenly as he stared at her without blinking his eyes.. He felt the hairs on his neck rise, his eyes started burning from all the crying he had done in the past year's. His eyes bored into the same hazel ones that had given him life and then snatched it away in a moment.

Her pale face was stained with tears as she stood rooted to the ground, clutching onto her blazer. The same face that had shattered and broken him, the one face he used to adore and love beyond everything. She looked changed, her face was paler than before but yet the same beautiful. But why was she crying? The question he asked himself. Shouldn't she be happy and living her life peacefully now that he and Ozan we're out of the picture, wasn't it what she wanted, to get freedom from this obligation and misery she called their marriage. Maybe she pities him now.

'I don't need her pity now!' He mentally chided.

Once again her mere presence brought back all the memories he thought he had buried, erased and tried to forget. One glance into her hazel orbs and he felt the same teenage boy who felt hopeless in love with those eyes, that face and that infectious laugh wanting him to just throw away everything and run to her, embrace her and kiss her like there was no tomorrow.

But then a sudden coldness and reality took over his heart, the pain, the suffering, the misery and the anguish that he had suffered all these years just to get an ounce of love from her. The sorrow and the ache that kept him up on numerous nights. The face of his son, the reality of how she abandoned him and broke off their friendship in a moment came crashing down on him. The pain of knowing that they were both unwanted in her life, everything she said to him, every time she pushed him away, made him think that he was nothing.

'No Daniel, don't fall again.'

'You wouldn't be able to take the dodge again'

'Remember to be strong, for yourself and for Ozan'

'Get a grip on yourself, you have moved on. You are Daniel Saritas who doesn't take anyone's shit and pity!' 

'You have suffered enough. Let it go now!'

He exhaled, repeating these mantras to himself trying his utter best to calm his raging nerves. Masking his very emotions, his usual stoic look taking over his once shocked expressions. Now standing there was what everyone called the Ice king ready to suppress every emotion as he looked up at Amy.

With trembling feet, Amy stepped forward. Finding all the suitable words to say but then again she didn't know where to even start from. A year didn't change what she had done and without a doubt, she knew it was something that was not easily forgotten nor forgiven. But she waited to talk to him, give him the closure he needed, everyone needed. She wanted to get to know his son and him, build a relationship with both of them, the one that would be even stronger than the bond they shared before. This time it would be devoid of any ulterior motive and obligation. She didn't say that she loves him but she was more than willing to try and reach that stage.

She opened her mouth, 

"Daniel!" She spoke shakily.

"What do you want!" Daniel said, his voice laced with such an icy cold tone that it sent shivers down her spine. She wasn't prepared for this, the pain that shot in her body listening to that cold tone.

The eyes that were always filled with so much care, affection and adoration were now filled with resentment, coldness and sharpness in it.

"I-i am sorry!" She blurted out stuttering, mentally face palming herself to utter those words first despite other sentences she managed to form in her head.

For a moment, he didn't utter a single word engulfing them in suffocating silence. Amy fiddled with her nails trying to form some other words in her mind. She could feel his burning gaze on her, making her tense and squirming at the same time. At that moment she wished for nothing more than to know what was going inside his mind. 

Daniel tucked his hands inside his pockets, his light brown hair blowing away with the wind as he kept his stare. The intensity of the stare wanting her to run but no she had to face the consequences of what she had done despite how terrible they would be.

"What are you sorry for, Amy?" Daniel said with the same iciness, this time it wasn't the cold tone that hit her, it was her name. He never called her by her name, it was always tesoro.

Amy stared at him with the same glossy eyes, clenching her palms and trying to swallow the lump in her throat that wasn't letting her speak properly. Letting out a shaky breath she let her mind to explode.

"I know no amount of sorry will be able to repair the damage I have done but I wish I could tell you how deeply I regret behaving that way back then, how deeply I regret ignoring you, tossing you aside and using you for my motives without you knowing. How I abandoned you and O-ozan!" Amy uttered in a low sorrowful voice taking a small breath before continuing.

"I was foolish to let my irrational reasoning and doubts come in the way of our life Daniel that we could have started and built as a happy family!" She muttered as tears rolled her cheeks.

Daniel only stared in silence listening to her, she didn't look confident Amy. Remorse was visible on her face but did it matter now? Daniel felt a tinge of sadness looking at her breaking down but this was something she had to pass through alone. He had to make his heart of stone if he wanted to live peacefully now.

"I never thought that you loved me that way, I was too busy in my own bubble to consider your feelings. My stubbornness to look perfect took over my rational side. I overlooked everything Daniel just to have a perfect relationship with someone who didn't love me back, to show the world that my dumb self could get everything she want, even stifling my own emotions!" Amy's bottom lip quiver as she uttered everything.

"I caused you so much pain for so long, I hurt you, Daniel. I hurt the person who cared for me who soothed me in my every distress. I wish I could take my every word back, I tossed aside the two people that should have meant the world to me. I am sorry, I-I am sorry!" Amy broke out in a sob, her sobs filling the silent place.

Daniel felt his own walls crippling down seeing her this way, he should have known better than that Silas would tell her everything. He could feel that she felt guilty but he wouldn't allow himself again to become the victim of any of these cruel games of destiny. He wouldn't want her to live an unwanted life being under the pressure of people that what she did was wrong or take her pity. The Daniel a year ago would have run to her and embraced her like a hopeless person in love but this time no matter how much he tried he couldn't forget the words she uttered, her bitter tone, her accused glance like he was the victim. No, he refused to go through that pain again, he had moved past this.

'Let go of it, Daniel!' His heart whispered to him and he took that advice. If he really wanted to let go of every burden and continue his life peacefully with his son, he had to forgive and close this chapter forever. Yes, this was the only right thing to do to be able to move on and never look back despite how painful it would be but this was the best for everyone.