White Christmas

Johnny lucked out like usual. No one was at my house for a while so at least for about a week we wouldn't have to answer any questions about why he was staying at my place.

Don't get me wrong. I loved Johnny. Still do. However, I do value my personal space and alone time. Gives me time to fall into the odd depressive slump or suicidal episode without disturbing other people. With Johnny near me pretty much 24/7 at my house I only got some alone time when he went out for food. That rarely happened because the two of us where to scared to leave the house for the first three days.

When I got a text message from a number I hadn't seen since graduation I jumped at the chance to get away from Johnny for a moment.

As I said before, this all began some time at the start of October. At this point Johnny and I where completely isolated. Any friends we had during school had left town for college leaving us all alone here. Hell, the two of us never even talked during school. He was always your typical burn out smoking weed in the bathrooms. I was your typical smart kid getting all the scholarships and what not. It's hard to say if it was my bad luck or Johnny's good luck that stuck us together when everyone else left.

I remember the moment clear as day. I was in the barn looking over the three-oh-two trying to figure out what three hundred bucks could do for me.

"So, before it can drive you need a new intake system and a transmission. Do I have that correct?"

Johnny was trying to get his head around the work required to get a classic car moving. He was leaning against the trunk lid with his head in his hands. His dark brown undercut now was a bit messy, and losing that sharpness on the edges. I was sure I looked worse though. I hadn't showered since we got back and my hair was a black mess on my head.

"That's correct. I've got new tires ready to go once I get the intake, and trans squared away"

"How much is a new air intake for this car?"

"Way more than three hundred bucks. Fuck it I might as well just blow the cash on food at this point"

"Or save it. You never know. Maybe a new job is right around the corner"

"Johnny don't take this the wrong way. I love you man, but I'm done taking jobs on your recommendation"

Johnny made a fake wince and put his hand over his heart.

"Oh I'm hurt!"

He pushed himself off the car and meandered to the doors of the barn. Today was a clear day. Past his obnoxious head I could see the pale blues of an October day in the sky.

Johnny looked out into my yard at nothing in particular. Nothing special was going on out there. Just grass dying, and the fox body sitting there. Probably jealous that the three-oh-two got all the attention.

"We have to address the elephant in the room Jack"

"Well. Name it for me"

"Its name is Ricky Tailor. That's the man we took to that drug house the other day"

The name didn't scare me but the memories of the house did. The solid click behind my head rang eager to remind me of that fear. Eager to remind me I didn't want to feel that fear.

"He knows where I live Jack. Your parents are going to come back soon and then I can't crash here. Even worse my parents will be back soon and he could target them."

He gave a whine groan and rubbed his head.

"I don't know how you can be so calm Jack"

"It's simple. Right now, there isn't a threat in front of me. Why worry? Now is the time to be thinking of a plan and we still have time"

Johnny took a deep breath and swallowed it. He had on a black hoodie that he tore off as beads of sweat started to form on his neck.

"You're right. We gotta start thinking"

My phone went off. Buzzing dully in the leather pocket. I asked Johnny to hold that thought while I checked.

"Guess who's back in town for a few days! Your girl Jessica! Come meet me some place"

I felt something bolt right through me. I don't know if I was excited to see an old friend, or absolutely terrified to see an old friend but either way I was going.

"Ice cream bar?"

I sent back. She replied that she was on her way. I left quickly pushing by Johnny and giving him a pat on the back.

"I'm sure you'll figure something out man!"

"Where the hell are you going!? Both our asses are in the fire!"

"I'm going to see a friend! You wouldn't know her!"

I called that last part at him from across the yard as I slipped into the fox body. It shook and rattled to life, but the motor seemed more than eager to get going.

I found myself in town for the first time in a while. The streets where full of people going here and there. Going in and out of shops. The square was almost like it was pulled straight from a 1960s tv show. The fashion however still moved on with the times creating an interesting off set.

With far too many people out in public I made my way to the ice cream bar wanting to get out of the traffic. The Ice cream shop was a place I frequented. Back in my high school days I use to gather with my friends here. I had study groups with them in the booths in the back.

Those days where long gone. Ghosts of those memories lingered for me somberly. An odd moment where I could swear I could see myself in the back with my old friends swirled with the past. The black and white speckled wall swirled together with patches of the here and now.

When the odd deja vu feeling left I found my past melded together with one image of the present. A hot little number in a two-piece leaning over the counter looking at ice cream. A maroon long sleeve top tucked into a black mini skirt, and black leggings put together the whole image perfectly. A pair of brown boots with small heals helped her peak up over the counter. She needed every inch because Jessica had always been short.

When I entered the relatively empty shop Jess let her head lull to one side locking eyes with me. Her matte black hair gleamed ever so softly as she beamed a smile.

"Jack! It's been so long!"

It had only been a few months. Last time I saw her was at graduation but she had cut her hair a lot shorter now and she had an unmistakable tan. She had gone South for college. Specifically where I had never bothered to learn.

"It's only been a few months"

I said joining her by the bar. She cast her eyes back to the ice creams on display.

"Get whatever you want Jessica. I'll buy"

"Ooo your treat? Well in that case I think I want a root beer float!"

I looked over the counter to the tired teen worker. He offered a smile, but it seemed fake as all hell. I sat a twenty on the bar for him.

"Ill have the same. Keep the change"

His smile changed to something a little more genuine after that. We watched him set to work putting together our orders.

"Is the Jack I use to know gone? You were never known for your charity"

I rolled my eyes and motioned for Jess to take a set at the both behind us.

"Guess you have been gone a while. I've become a different man after all this time"

Jessica laughed at that one. A beautifully bubbly sound that I didn't mind at all hearing. One could say I almost wished to hear it again.

"What are you doing back though? You can't be on a break already"

"Well I'm not. I got tired of being down there, so I came back. Wanted to shake off the homesick feeling you know?"

"I don't know about homesick. If there's a feeling opposite to that then I could relate"

"Hmm. I think that's called wanderlust"

"Hit me with some of that then"

Jess laughed again. I savored it that time. I forgot what it was like to have other friends besides Johnny. Jessica was smart and funny. Witty as all hell. One of my best friends before graduation. Much to the dismay of my ex.

"You have to be missing days of school though."

I probed deeper. I knew there was something else here. Jessica never just did things on a whim. She was the type to look before she jumped.

"You're right..."

She trailed off as the teen working the store handed off our floats to us. She took a sip and smiled slightly like the taste reminded her of something.

"How are things here? You must have a job if you're paying for me"

"In a manner of speaking I guess"

"What about the three-oh-two? Still working on it?"

"As long as I bleed red I will work on that car my dear"

Jessica gave an eye roll to rival my own. She gave a little half snort half laugh as she drank more of her float.

"As dramatic as ever Jack. Guess nothing much has changed around here"

She looked me up and down for a moment before frowning.

"Are you sleeping well?"

I dove into my float now wanting to dodge the question, but I knew I couldn't escape.

"Yeah sure I am. Why?"

"You're lying to me. Your hair is a mess, and you got circles around your eyes."

Suddenly Jessica got up and leaned over the table. Her face was uncomfortably close to mine as her eyes looked deep into mine. Dark brown waves of color flared out from her pupils as they expanded examining me.

She sat back again seemingly satisfied with a smile.

"Those eyes of yours are beautiful. It's called heterochromia right?"

A slight blush rose on my cheeks and I cast my eyes down at my drink to break eye contact.

"Something like that"

"Bright blue, and dark brown. It's almost hypnotic"

"Then stop looking"

I said with the slightest hint of a child like whine. Jessica laughed again this time at my expense, but it still sounded like music to me.

"What's up though? You look like a mess"

The fact that I hadn't taken care of myself in a few days raced to the front of my head. Suddenly I felt absolutely disgusting, and in dire need of a shower. Thankfully I got the out I needed very quickly.

A girl Jessica and I both knew all too well entered the bar. She breezed past our booth with a man in tow bigger than me. One of the old football players back in our high school days. Fuck me if I could remember his name. The girl on his arm, however, I remembered her name all too well.

Sara Noir. My ex and the top of Jessica's most hated list. She held both of those titles for completely unrelated reasons. Jessica hated her well before she broke it off with me.

Jessica tensed up hard and I could feel electricity in the air when they locked eyes. The jock was none the wiser as he went on to order something while Sara stared Jess down. Jess took a deep breath and tossed her bangs when she whirled her head back to me. I was just trying to keep my gaze down and not look in anyone's direction.

"Jack, I want to see the three-oh-two. Let's go"

"Now?"

I half whimpered the statement.

"Yes. Now. Let's go. It's starting to smell like fish around here"

I got up quick and began speed walking for the door after that. I only heard Sara gasp like she had been punched in the face. If we didn't get out of there quicker I didn't put it past Jess to do that.

Once outside Jess went to my car instinctively. Something about how she just remembered my car after being away for so long made me feel a little happy for some reason. Then again people don't often see a vibrant red fox body on the daily.

She climbed in throwing her small bag in the back seat. She was grumbling as she pulled on her seat belt aggressively.

"She knows this car. She knew you were in here. She did that just to fuck with you"

"Maybe she didn't notice"

I replied meekly starting up the mustang. Jessica shot her head to my side but I was too afraid to meet her gaze.

"You can't keep letting her do this to you. She knows what she does to you when she's around. You need to stand up to her or stop letting her have that power"

"Or maybe I just need to take you to see the three-oh-two? It's looking good these days"

"Jack don't change the subject on me"

I let out a groan and slammed my hands on the wheel.

"For God's sake what do you want me to do? I can't breathe near her let alone tell her off Jessica!"

Jess wasn't ready for the outburst but she recovered quickly. She reached for the seat belt button with a fire raging in her dark brown eyes.

"Then I'm going to tell her off"

I scoffed and dropped the e-break.

"Like hell you are"

My hand flew over pushing the shifter to reverse. The car lept backwards and swung out into the street before Jess could get the belt unclipped. She gave a surprised yelp and then one more for the road when I dropped into first and dumped the clutch.

Jessica pouted for most of the way back until I guess she got tired of it. She looked around the car with what seemed to be a look of mild admiration.

"The fox body still drives like a dream"

"Yeah but the A/C doesn't work anymore. All the plastic parts like to rattle too."

"But it still goes. Goes good I'd bet. You still do all that stunt driving you use to do?"

"I've calmed down since my high school years."

"Uh huh... Lies. What was that back at the ice cream bar?"

"I call it driving with a little style"

Jess rolled the window down and sat back with her arms crossed in the seat. Her short hair was ruffled by the wind as it swirled around the cabin.

"I think you lost your touch. What happened to the old Jack? The Jack that use to rip up back roads with me?"

"That Jack stopped existing when Sara found out I took you on those drives"

Jessica didn't like that answer one bit. She went from all smiles to pouting in her sort of childish way. I turned onto the straight two-lane road to my house. When I was comfortably gliding along in third gear I nudged her arm. She returned a "Humph"

I gave her my best shit eating grin before I dropped to second gear with a beautiful rev match and tore up the street. The sudden torque forced her back in the seat and her hands reached out for anything to hang onto. My maniacal laugh could barely be heard over the fox body, and Jessica's scream.

I had no clue how fast I was going when I got to my house. I shifted the car's weight hard and ripped my e-break sliding the beast into our gravel drive way.

I tore up grass and threw rocks all over the yard, but to see the mix of terror and excitement on Jessica's face made it all worth it.

Jessica was frozen on the spot with that look. Her chest rising and falling rapidly as she struggled to catch her breath. She managed to pry herself from the seat and slip out of the car. I turned off the fox body and pulled the e-brake to park it. She stretched and groaned.

"Grab my bag out the back seat for me"

I reached over behind my seat and paused. Behind the passenger seat sat a small backpack. It wasn't Jessica's, and it wasn't mine. I frowned and scooped up both bags. I handed off Jessica's bag to her and put the other one on my back.

Jessica started instantly for the barn like a girl on a mission.

"Eager much?"

"I haven't seen it in months Jack! I'm excited!"

"Well you go on ahead I'll be there in a second"

I let her go on her way while I went straight for the house. I thought maybe the bag was Johnny's. He was the only other person I ever had around. I found my friend digging through my fridge in the kitchen.

"Is this yours?"

I asked tossing the half open bag on the kitchen table. It landed with a metallic thud and fell over. Just as Johnny looked up from the fridge the contents of the bag spilled out. Neither of us where prepared for what it was.

Out popped a startling silver handgun. Polished to a mirror sheen almost. Along with it came several rolls of cash that tumbled over one and other.

The two of us jumped and gasped at the same time.

"Holy shit! What the fuck?! Where did you find that!?"

Johnny yelled slamming the fridge closed. I pulled my hands back quick and wiped them on my jacket in some vain attempt to wipe the sins away.

"Shit I just found it in the back seat!"

Both of us froze. Johnny and I both locked eyes as the sudden realization hit us both like a truck. Without saying anything I instantly went to scoop the contents back into the bag fearing that Jessica might come in at any moment.

"Don't touch it that's like evidence or something!"

"Evidence for a crime we committed Johnny! Take this shit and hide it under my bed. I don't need Jessica seeing this!"

I tossed the bag to him. Johnny yelped and dodge the toss letting the bag thump to the ground.

"Johnny you ass hole just put it under my bed!"

"I don't want to touch it!"

I heard a call from outside. Jessica's voice floated in like a soft breeze.

"You just going to leave a girl out in the cold like this?"

Johnny's eyes shot from me to the door and then back.

"Who the hell is that?!"

This time he spoke in a whisper scream.

"A friend now take the bag or so help me God you'll wish you had Ricky to deal with instead of me!"

The name Ricky might be a trigger word to Johnny now. He sure did move quick when I issued that threat. He scooped the bag up and dashed to my room trying to keep his steps quiet.

I ran for the other side of the house and swept the door open for Jessica. Her bright naive smile giving away that she had no clue the havoc that just transpired.

"So, you going to keep me outside or...?"

I realized I had been standing there not saying anything. Quickly I stepped out onto the steps and closed the door behind me.

"Yes actually, I gotta give you the tour of the three-oh-two"

She looked incredibly confused for a moment, but shrugged it away.

"That works too I guess"

I took her back to the barn and closed the doors behind us for good measure. My mind was a whirl of all the horrible ways this situation could go bad. Anything from Jess finding that bag to Ricky rolling up and taking us out Tupac style.

"Still doesn't run does it?"

"Uh.. Well... If you want to get technical the engine will turn on. It doesn't have an air intake and the trans is bad, but the motor will run"

Jess's eyes lit up like Christmas. She clasped her hands together with an excited little jump.

"Can you show me? The motor wasn't running before graduation"

At this point I was doing anything I could to get my mind off the worst case scenarios. I jogged to the other end of the barn and scooped the key off one of my work tables. Jessica slipped into the passenger seat as I slid into the driver's. With the clutch in and a little gas the engine roared to life, and I mean roared. The fox body was loud but the three-oh-two had it beat easy.

Jessica gave a triumphant cry and patted the dashboard affectionately. I pumped the pedal a few times and the mustang let out a battle cry loud enough to shake the old barn. Jess was all smiles, and perhaps that was the best part of the whole thing. I cut the car off and flashed her a cocky smile.

"I got it to turn over about a month after graduation. Wasn't easy and took pretty much all the graduation money I got. That and what was left of my savings"

Jessica looked to the dash and ran her hand over the surface. Her finger tips tapped softly on the material before she dragged them down the center to the shift knob. Her hand slipped away and a rueful smile took the place of her happier one from earlier.

"You know you were always my idol Jack. You were never afraid to just do what you wanted"

I frowned mostly to myself because Jess was lost in looking at the dash.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean you're better than me, and I wanted to be more like you"

I scoffed and sat back in the leather seat. It was comfortable even after all these years. My grandfather kept everything stock before he handed it off to me including the seats.

"Jessica I'm sitting here jobless and alone in this dead end town. You are going to college to be a doctor"

Jess sighed softly and crossed her arms. She was clearly thinking about her next response so I stayed quiet content just sitting near an old friend.

"Jack, my parents don't know I'm back"

"They don't? How did you get here?"

"Saved up and took a greyhound. I came back in secret. I didn't want them to know"

"Well I'm sure you know my next question is why"

She paused for a moment considering her answer again.

"I don't want to be a doctor. Hell, I really didn't want to go to college at all. My parents made me go. They are bankrolling me after all so all they have to say is no more money. They threatened to write me out of the will if I didn't go for being a doctor"

I took in a sharp breath at that last part.

"God damn that's harsh. I don't even know what to say"

Jess put her head in her hands.

"I should have told them to go ahead, but I couldn't. I wasn't strong enough to put my foot down."

She perked back up and turned in the seat to face me.

"You and I had the same problem growing up. Your family kept pushing you to do what they wanted you to do. Not what you wanted to do. You were strong enough to say no. You wanted to work on cars and here you are working on your dream car"

I sighed deeply shaking my head. My eyes drifted over the gage cluster on the mustang. I wasn't really looking at anything. Nothing on this mustang had the answers I needed for my life. I didn't have a damn thing figured out. Hell, I had a drug dealer after me now, and somehow from Jess's perspective I was an idol.

"Jessica I'll give it to you straight. My life is in the trash right now. I've got no idea where I'm headed."

"Yeah maybe that's true, but you're doing it on your terms and that's what matters"

"I guess... I haven't thought about it that way"

The two of us climbed out of the three-oh-two at the same time as if we both knew the conversation was finished on instinct. We left the barn and I latched it closed.

"I'll be real with you Jessica. You should go back to school right now."

"I don't want to"

She couldn't have made the response sound more childlike if she tried. It was actually really cute. I did the only thing I thought was right. I hugged her from the side and offered a pat on the back.

"Just hang tight. I'll see you again when you come back for Thanksgiving"

She looked up to me with her best puppy dog eyes. Those soft browns could melt the ice caps.

"Promise?"

"I promise. I'll give you a ride to the station"