White Christmas

"In position. You guys tell us when the fire fight is going down."

Johnny and I sat in the RX-8 across the road from the North side entrance to the bootlegger's trail. We were off the side obscured by overgrown weeds near the road, and tree branches draped over the car. All our lights were off, but the car was running.

We had made it to our spot and nestled into the little alcove between trees. Thankfully the North side of town had a bit of a denser tree population. It wasn't perfect cover, but hopefully the unobservant wouldn't spot us.

Johnny and I wore ski masks, and gloves the whole time. In the back seat sat a portable can of gas with a book of matches next to it. The plan in theory was to wait for Ricky to show up with his men, chase Ricky when he left, corner him wherever he was going, take him out, and lastly make it to the three-oh-two then burn the RX-8.

It sounded straightforward in theory. Hell, it even sounded easy. We knew it would be anything but. Nathan, and Kirin had to basically fight a gang war as a distraction. They had a lot of heavy lifting to do, and only a handful of Kirin's men to do it with.

Johnny and I had to try and follow without being seen. That part alone would be hard enough. If we managed to tail Ricky without getting spotted we then had to infiltrate where ever he was hold up at with weapons that only had one sound setting. Loud as hell. Best case we follow and infiltrate without a problem, put a round in the back of his head, and the other two pull off the fire fight without dying.

Worst case, and possible the most likely case, we get spotted and have to run Ricky off the road to do the deed, and Nathan and Kirin go down in a blaze of glory. Stakes were high, pay off was high, and the likelihood we pulled it off was low. I hoped Johnny still felt lucky after all this.

"Everyone on our side is ready. Now we just wait for Ricky."

Nathan's voice came through loud and clear on speaker phone. My phone still worked flawlessly after the whole river swim in the North. The small blessings really start to add up when your near death constantly.

"How are you feeling Johnny?"

"Absolutely terrified, but I'm ready to kick some ass. Ricky is going to pay for this one way or another tonight."

Nathan laughed over the phone.

"That's what I like to hear. Tell us when you see them coming."

One in the morning came around taking its sweet time. It was pitch black. The sky was covered by a blanket of dark clouds. No moon or even stars to give any light. Right off we noticed the headlights crawling up the road. Slowly they made their way in a tight line and turned into the back road.

I counted four of them rolling in before one vehicle stopped. Its silhouette was a bit hard to make out, but the unique styling of the Charge's front end stood out all too well. When the SUVs finished rolling in I talked to Nathan.

"Nate, I counted four SUVs coming for you. I think I'm watching Ricky right now. He stayed behind just at the entrance."

"Right, he is probably waiting to see if this is a trap. Once he knows he might bolt. Be ready. Call us back when you're done unless there is a problem."

I hung up after giving a sound of confirmation and locked my eyes on the Charger. I put the hand break down, and just held the foot break. My hand rested lightly on top of the gear shift. I knew once I got into it shifting might hurt like hell. I had hoped my spite and hate would let me power through.

Tucked away in the brush and low hanging tree branches I knew he couldn't see us. He sat idling on the side of the road. Lights on and everything. He didn't have a care in the world. I stared right into his windshield imaging what he might look like now.

I hadn't seen Ricky since we left him at that house months ago. I hadn't heard his voice since he was in the back seat of the Fox Body. This man I hated so much, and wanted to kill with all my being was almost faceless to me.

I planned to look him in the eye when I killed him. I wanted to see him fear for his life like he made me fear. I wanted to see him helpless like he made me when he pulled his gun on me in my car. I wanted him dead.

With everyone else I rationalized it as wanting to protect my friends, and family. It was, for the majority, the reason I wanted him dead. Still, it wouldn't be true to say that was the only reason. I had to be a little selfish. I wanted to be the one to kill him. I wanted to be the one to pay him back for what he did. I wanted to be a monster tonight, and I would figure out who I really was in the morning.

His car jerked forward suddenly as he rolled back out onto the road. I waited for him to pass, and then slowly inched forward onto the black top. I had an idea that I hadn't practiced yet, but felt strongly about.

I didn't turn my lights on, or even get going very fast. I kept a sizable distance and tried my best to mimic his motions. I couldn't see the road without my lights obviously, but if I matched the movements he made well enough I would be able to stay on the road.

He didn't seem to be in any kind of a hurry. Ricky's car drifted along almost lazily. He had to know it was a trap by now, and seemed completely content on just driving at his own pace. While he was having a nice Sunday drive I was hanging tight on the wheel trying to match his moves.

It took all my focus to keep a good time of when I should start my turns. Whenever he made a move I had to wait a couple seconds before I did the same thing so that I could get to the spot on the road he was. Every action he did I had to do on a delay. This delay was hard to time as he got a little farther or a little closer.

I went off a few times jostling the car and causing Johnny to freeze. After a few missteps I managed to get a rhythm going. This plan worked well until I realized we would be reaching the town soon. Street lights and signs from buildings would make enough light to get me caught.

When we came to the last few twists before town I stopped. When Ricky made the turn, I flipped on my lights and drove trying to pretend as if I was just another car on the streets. I kept pace a few car lengths back until we rolled into the town square and got stopped by the same light.

I slowed to a stop right behind him. Johnny and I both froze holding our breaths as if that would do a damn thing. The light turned green, and he went on then took a right.

"He is going to notice us following him."

I nodded and made the right after Ricky.

"You're right Johnny, but we can't do a thing about that right now. Get your gun ready. We might have to go loud."

I knew the town well. At one in the morning no one else was even awake. The town stayed quiet and the roads empty. I got a lot of practice on these streets after midnight. Since I knew the roads so well I felt comfortable in keeping way back. Far enough back to get caught by different traffic lights. He stayed an intersection or two ahead always.

It was the best I could do to keep us low-key. Johnny was tense in the shotgun seat holding his weapon at the ready. I was focusing to keep my breathing slow and even. Every movement I made over the shifts and gas were meticulously timed and practiced. With how smooth I shifted you could have forgot it was a manual sports car.

Before long we were on the bad side of town. The side that gave me the creeps. The same one where all of this started. Feeling confident in myself I took a left an intersection before Ricky did, and followed him by catching glances of his lights between the run-down houses.

Johnny made a good spotter for this. All the shooting he was doing gave him a bit of a keen eye. We managed to follow like this for a few streets until Johnny spotted it.

"Blue house with a white porch! He just parked I saw it!"

We stopped at the next stop sign and turned right towards the spot. At another stop sign we got confirmation. His car was stopped parked at an angle on the sidewalk in front of the blue house. We caught sight of Ricky just as the door swung closed behind him. My heart kicked up speed, and my body got hot all over. A slight sweat started to break out even in all the cold.

"That's it! That's it we fucking got him Jack!"

Johnny was excited smacking the dash with his gloved palm and squirming with excited energy. I was struggling to breath. I knew what came next. I was so ready for it until this moment. Suddenly I was at war with myself.

I couldn't keep air in my lungs. My chest got tight and this nervous heat radiated out from the center of it. The heat pulsed with my rapid heartbeat, and suddenly I couldn't hear the rest of the world. I felt like I was back in high school. Throwing panic attacks over my damn ex-girlfriend. All that shit seemed so trivial now.

I'm scared. Dear god I'm scared. Just like when he had his gun to my head. I can't fucking move! Just move damn it move!

I was screaming in my head. My throat was too dry to get a word out. As if on autopilot I switched off my headlights and pulled out onto the road. I parked right in front of his car and left the RX running.

Am I just going to be afraid my whole life? I need to do this. Regardless of what's right and wrong. Short of turning myself in this is all we can do.

Johnny grabbed the handle on his car door holding the mp5 under one arm.

"You ready for this?"

I kept my eyes locked on the steering wheel. Air was getting forced out of my lungs faster than I could use it.

If nothing else you need to protect. Your friends and family need this. Jessica needs this. For once you don't have to put your problems on them. You have a lot of things you can't just fix with a snap, but this one you can. This one doesn't have to be their problem too.

"Jack? You ok?"

When your issues got the better of you; you put that on Sara. When Sara burned you; you put that on Jess. When you didn't know what to do with your life you put that stress on mom and dad. Fix your own damn problems Jack. Starting with this one.

"Never better Johnny. Let's do this."

We both left the car. The Sig stayed holstered in my waistband near my left pocket. In my hands I carried the Mossberg. Johnny had his Glock, and the mp5. Both of us were ready to start a war, or end one rather.

The two of us inched up the steps to the porch, and took a spot on each side of the door. We looked to each other and counted off from three with our fingers. Johnny was on the right side, and when we hit zero he reached over and turned the nob. As soon as he did some on the other side unloaded a clip on it.

Wood splintered out as a massive hole was blasted in the door. I shielded my eyes and crouched lower on the wall until the firing subsided. When we were clear I reached over and blind fired the shot gun. The explosion was followed by a low-pitched groan. Johnny blind fired a mag across the room, and peeked.

He dove in head first, and I took that as a sign it was clear. The door was hardly even there anymore so I stepped through the hole. The living area the house opened into was a mess now of bullet holes, and blood. Two bodies sat lifeless against the wall. The one I hit had a massive hole on his gut, and the one Johnny hit had smaller holes scattered up its torso.

Johnny reloaded tossing a spent clip into his hoodie pocket then replacing it with a fresh one. The mp5 made a satisfying click as the bolt slid back into position ready to go again. From the living room a hallway opened. Three doors lined the hall, and all stood open save for the back on the right.

"Watch the front Hound. If support shows up yell for me."

"Rodger Fox."

I pumped my shot gun, and readied it for another blast while I stepped stealthily down the hall. As I came to the open doors I quickly scanned them with the barrel of my gun ready to take out anyone I saw.

I heard the report from the mp5 in rapid bursts from the front. I ducked flattening myself against the wall.

"More showed Fox! Get it done and let's go!"

I moved quick now and kicked the last door wide open. Adrenaline pumped my body into overdrive. When the door flew wide I took a reaction shot at the first target I saw. Rick whirled around holding onto a massive revolver.

My buck shot sprayed across his right arm mangling it. Blood splashed across the window behind him as holes opened exposing meat and bone. The gun was flung across the room and clattered across the floor.

I tackled him to the ground pinning his good arm under my knee. In the scuffle I lost my shot gun but somewhere in my head I had enough sense to pull the Sig.

We froze there. Ricky looked the same as he had when he got in my car. Bald, wild eyes, and the ugliest face I ever saw. His teeth were all crooked and chipped, and that arm of his was the same consistency as ground beef. If rage hadn't kept me going I might have vomited at the sight.

"Well you finally fucking did it huh!?"

His voice was low and raspy. Some kind of maniacal edge hid under his normal tones.

"You're going to be the hero now right? Save the little girl and kill the big bad drug dealer right!?"

Confused I glanced around the room and saw a little black-haired girl curled in the corner. She was wearing dirty torn jeans and a torn-up tee shirt. Her head was buried in her hands.

"Go ahead Jack! Put one right in my skull!"

I looked back to him then to the girl and then back to him. I heard another round of shots come from the mp5 outside before I pressed the barrel to his forehead. I didn't pull the trigger.

"What?"

His voice was quiet now.

"Can't kill now? Come on Jack you've been doing it without a problem this whole time."

The girl was watching us now. Her eyes terrified. It didn't matter what I did she would be messed up for the rest of her life after Ricky.

"What, you have a change of heart and suddenly you've got a hero complex? Come on Batman you've been killing for months you're a killer just like me!"

I bit my lip trying to pull the trigger but something kept me from it. Something in my head. I never wanted to kill but this was different. I wanted to kill Ricky. That made all this different by a long shot. Even after all he did.

Ricky relaxed against the floor. His lips curled up into a wicked smile.

"Go ahead, Kill an unarmed man. Someone who can't fight back. Put a bullet in my head Jack and tell me how it felt when you get to hell."

Sirens called out faintly in the distance. Police sirens. His smile widened, and his broken teeth winked at me behind it.

"Times running out."

Could a person do bad things and still be good? Could someone do absolutely abhorrent things like I had and still be a good person? Was it possible to become a monster and then come back from it?

I didn't know, but I did know two things. The police were on their way now, and since they were I didn't have to kill him. There was probably enough evidence in the house to convict him for something. I didn't need to kill him.

Too bad for Ricky I had already made up my mind to be a monster for tonight.

I jammed the gun in his mouth. His eyes went wide with fear for a moment before I said.

"See you there Ricky."

I pulled the trigger. His head opened and blood splattered across the floor in front of me. I didn't have time to figure out how I felt about that as the sirens got closer. I holstered the Sig and scooped up both my shotgun and the girl.

She was light enough thankfully. My left arm held her up easy enough and my hurt right arm held the gun. I sprinted back through the house to see Johnny looking out over the windows to the front of the house. SUVs were peeling out as fast as they could. By now the sirens were uncomfortably close.

"Take her and put her in the back!"

I handed Delila over to him. He did so without a complaint and we both booked it for the car. I did a hood slide the Duke brothers would be proud of then dove in the driver seat. Johnny carefully placed the girl and buckled her seat belt before getting himself in.

As his belt clicked in I saw the cop lights in the rear view. Funny enough it was the first time the cops had been a problem the whole time I had been running. I dropped her into first and peeled tires getting out.

"What's the plan Jack?!"

"Lose them, burn the car, and get back to the garage!"

"Ok but that lose them part! That sounds hard!"

I smirked as I ripped the hand break for a sharp corner. The whole car slid around it and I counter steered one handed.

"Not with the best driver this side of the Mason Dixon!"

I took a left trying to shake them in the residential side streets and roads. The motor screamed for all nine-thousands revs as I hammered down on a straight. In the rearview the blue lights flashed and sirens blared after us.

I took a hard right, and the car gripped up for the whole thing. We screeched through a few more side streets with Johnny law right on us until we hit the area of town around the square.

When we flew through; this sleepy town woke up. We blitzed the streets as the engine screamed at nine-thousand revs. Right behind us police sirens screeched. Johnny and I were the kids who never tried to do too much, never tried to impress anyone, never tried to achieve to high. Suddenly we were the kids making waves. The people they would be talking about on the news tonight. We would go down as legends in this town, and we hoped to God we would be faceless legends.

The town square came, and I took a hard right onto it. The cops behind us slipped a bit, but I hooked up and took it tight. By the time they had their traction back I was already cutting the corner at the next light. We sprinted like mad down the straight and flew right out of the square.

They had us heading North, and if Kirin and Nate had made it out of their ordeal the Mustang would be South. Knowing this I had an idea to loop back around.

I left the square and went a street up before drifting a left and heading towards the next street over that went back to the square. The aging Crown Vics just couldn't handle how hard I was taking turns. When I had turned left again headed for the square most of the cars tailing us were still a street behind. Some hadn't even made it that far.

My tires slipped a bit as we entered the square again. This side seemed to have a bit of black ice, but I managed to keep myself under control. A few cop cars behind us missed the ice driving course or something and slid right off the road ripping up some poor guy's lawn.

Since we had now got back on a straight they were keeping a good pace. I braked hard anticipating ice on my next turn, and sure enough I slipped just before the intersection. I turned left into the square a little more carefully this time and hit the gas.

Behind me several more cops slid and smashed into each other's sides as the slipped onto the side walk. Some guy's little four door got demolished in the process. I took a hard right out of the square.

The sound of sirens tapered off, but didn't leave all together. They were still looking for us. No doubt by now they knew about the blood bath back in Ricky's house and this car was seen fleeing that house. They were patrolling.

With this in mind I made a flat-out sprint for the trail. The sooner we ditched the car the better. I was reluctant to let the pedal up even when we made it to the dirt road leading to the trail. I kept the gas on, and made a fatal error on the dirt.

The RX-8 was even not very well suited for dirt driving. The tail got happy on me, and I lost control. The whole thing slipped out from under me and I tail whipped a tree on the passenger side.

As I lost the road we all screamed until the car smashed the tree. Suddenly our screams were cut short. The three of us got tossed against the car roughly, but thankfully we all had belts on. Groaning in pain I managed to flop out of the car and crawl away on my hands and knees.

"Johnny? You good?"

I heard his door open and him respond back in a pained groan.

"My right arm is hurting, but I'm alive."

"Delila?"

"Terrified, but alive."

I pulled myself to my feet nearly out of stamina for this crazy mission. Ahead of us on the trail's start was the Mustang. Sitting pretty and ready to go.

"Take her, and go get the Mustang started up. Ill deal with this."

He hefted her up with a bit of effort.

"Rodger Jack. Make it quick."

I tried. I dumped the gas across the seats and dashboard as gracefully as I could after my brain got rattled. Everything hurt especially my right arm. I felt like surgery might be needed after the hell I put it through. Stumbling to a safe distance I lit a match with some effort and tossed it in.

The gas went up. Fire suddenly lit up the darkness casting a violent orange glow. I tossed the rest of the match book in, and then my ski mask and gloves. I scooped up the Mossberg and hobbled my way over to the car. Sirens blared now not so far away. I swore to myself more tired than angry as I climbed in.

"Who are you people?"

A small voice from the back asked. Johnny turned around quick taking of his mask and gloves.

"Don't worry Delila. We are going to get you back to your dad."

I glanced back in time to see her eyes light up.

I also saw the blue and red lights flashing in the woods. I nodded to myself as if it was just another day in the life then dropped the car in first. One last run up the trail before I left this place behind.

I tore up the familiar path trying to get clear as quick as possible. Every movement was perfectly in sync with the next. Despite not having too much time behind the wheel in the three-oh-two it was so easy. Like I had been doing it my whole life.

Everything felt simple for lack of a better word. No one spoke as I slipped corners, and downshifted the straights. Just me and the car in sync. All put back together and ready to get me into trouble. Just like my Grandpa would have wanted. I felt happy in that moment.

Despite all the feelings I'd have to deal with later over killing Ricky I knew in this moment I was free. He was gone, and I had fixed my own problem. I didn't need to push it on someone else.

Was I a monster? Maybe, I wasn't sure. I wouldn't say Johnny was even if he was the one who put Ricky down. Jessica wouldn't say I was, and I didn't think Kirin or Nathan would say I was. I knew Jessica's words had some merit. That I didn't need to be a monster if I didn't want to. I just had to face myself.

Face that I was a dumb ass who made stupid decisions that got me where I was. Face the fact that yeah, I did kill some people, and yes even though they were bad people it was still wrong. I had to face that I was a bum living off my parents and my own indecision before Johnny asked me to make that run. There were a lot of reasons for me to be a bad person, but nothing said they had to define me forever.

You can be better if you want, but that's your decision. No one can make it for you Jack.

I said it to myself but it felt like something Jessica would say. She was totally right I had lost who I was. I wanted to be that fearless guy I use to be who could chase his dreams no matter what they were. If nothing else all this crazy shit Johnny and I had done proved I could make it no matter what life tossed at me.

I cut a corner hard and let the tail end out smiling to myself. It felt so good. Being behind the wheel always did wonders for my sanity.

We made it back to the garage without a problem. Kirin was waiting there with Nathan, and Franky. Delila was excited to see her dad, and the two had a tearful reunion. The four of us started packing up stuff in the back of one of Kirin's trucks to dispose of. All the extra furniture and stuff we brought to the garage plus the ammo and guns.

I kept the Sig, and Johnny kept his Glock. Kirin and Nathan loaded up in the truck with Franky and his daughter. The guy couldn't stop thanking us for saving his girl. I couldn't put into words how happy I was the little girl made it out alive.

"I recommend the two of you drive out of town, and sleep in a hotel or something. Get a good shower, then come into town tomorrow. Nate and I will find you when we can."

Kirin gave his parting words of wisdom before pulling off. Johnny and I took his words to heart and left out of town to the North. We found a run-down motel a few miles out and hit the hay there.

Johnny's right arm was beat up bad, but still usable. We both showered, and changed clothes the next morning. We left the clothes we did the job in in the trash for good measure. I couldn't give up my leather jacket however so it stayed.

When we pulled into town late that afternoon the place seemed to be in an uproar. Cop cars rushed here and there doing whatever it was they needed to do. The didn't seem to notice us at all however which put my mind at ease. Johnny and I stopped by my house, but my parents were nowhere to be found. After that we went right to the police station.

Both our parents were there along with Jessica and her parents. Johnny and I stood frozen side by side when our parents ran to us. There was a moment both of us held our breaths. It didn't seem real. Finally, it was over. Ricky was dead and we made it.

He and I shared a star struck, and teary-eyed glance before our parents wrapped us up in hugs. I bawled like a baby into my mom's shoulder. Johnny did the same. Damn near grown ass men crying like children with their mothers. It was a sight to see, but I'll be damned if it didn't feel good.