Why Did I Become the Villainess?

Soiartze fell in love with a character? 

"Soiartze fell in love with the male lead. It then affected the male lead's feelings. Instead of developing feelings for the female lead, the male lead fell in love with Soiartze. That's the reason why the fictional world she is staying in before collapsed," Aaline replied.

Soiartze looks at the sky and smiles sadly. "So, if you still want to be a writer and you still want to go back to the real, I advise you not to fall in love with any characters in the fictional world. Or else you would lose everything you have right now."

I will lose everything I have? I can't be a writer, and I couldn't go back to the real world. What's worst, everyone I know in the fictional world will die. I shivered just by thinking about it. 

I repeatedly shake my head. "I won't dare. And how could I fall in love with him if he's still a minor?"

Aaline looks at me. "Who's he? Omg, Ysa! Don't tell me you have feelings for someone?" She then shakes my arms that she is holding.

"Is it true, Ysa? You have feelings for a character you made?" Soiartze looks at me with a frightened expression. "You cannot! I tell you, you cannot fall in love with anyone from the fictional world Ysa." 

"I'm not. I would never fall in love with him. He is meant for Paislee and not for me. They are the ones who are meant for each other. That's how I write it, and that's what will happen."

Aaline and Soiartze just look at me for a whole minute. Soiartze sigh. "Are you sure about that, Ysa? Why does it sound like you're convincing yourself and not us?"

I look at Soiartze with wide eyes. I could feel my heart beating so fast right now. I put my hand on my chest and feel my heartbeat. I don't understand why. But I could feel pain inside of me. It's like something is piercing my heart. 

Why? Why do I feel like this? I can't be in love with him. I cannot. You cannot, Ysavel! He is just a fictional character. How can you have feelings for a fictional character? I must be insane. 

I stand up and walk towards the mountain falls and dive into it. The cold water immediately made me shiver however, my mind is still in chaos right now. Even my heart is wildly thumping for whatever reason I don't want to face. 

Aaline and Soiartze immediately followed me behind. Aaline dive in the falls, too, while Soiartze is sitting on the side watching the two of us swim.

I swim for almost half an hour before I laid my body on a big rock at the side of the falls. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind. 

Even after immersing myself in a cold falls, my mind is still a mess. Aaline walks towards me and sits beside me. "You know what, Ysa, it's never wrong to admit what you feel. We're humans. We're all capable of loving. It's a normal thing for us."

I look at Aaline and scoff. "It's normal if it's between two alive human beings. But what if it's a fictional character and a human? Yes, love doesn't know boundaries, but this world does. Characters are made for characters, and humans are made for humans. It's logical reasoning."

Soiartze walks towards us with a sad smile. "But does love use logical reasoning? It doesn't, right? Ysa, do you know what I feel the first time I saw him? I thought the female lead and him look so good together. That they are both meant for each other. But as the story progresses, I realized that not everything we expect to know is actually true. That not because they are destined to be each other. Then it means they will end up together. If you're going to ask me if I regret loving him, I would say no. Loving him is one of the greatest things I experienced in my whole life."

I stand up and look at Soiartze. "They are destined to be together, and they are supposed to end together if you just didn't get between them. That's what it is."

The two of them got silent because of what I said. I sigh and shake my head. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to hurt you. It's just that my mind is a mess right now. I don't know what to think and what to do." I messed my hair out of frustration.

This is the first time I deeply regretted taking the notebook from the little girl. If I did not take it, I would probably still struggling writing a novel right now. I would probably happily living with Lena and wouldn't need to think about anything else. 

"You're right." 

I look at Soiartze. I immediately stand up from sitting when I saw tears streaming on her face. "You're right. I am the one to blame." She smiled at me. She smiled while she is still crying. "If I didn't develop feelings for him, I wouldn't get stuck in this godforsaken world. They wouldn't have died because of me. I am the selfish one." Soiartze slumps on the ground and cries her heart out.

I am about to walk to her side when Aaline shakes her head at me. "Don't. Let her be. She's been avoiding this conversation since she came here. Let her acknowledge her feelings too."

I look at Soiartze, and I picture myself crying like that. I picture myself crying myself out of regret, grief, and loss. I picture myself losing everything I have and left with nothing but myself only. And I never want that. 

After crying for five minutes. Soiartze raised her head and looked at me. "You're right, Ysa. Humans are meant for humans, and characters are made for characters. I must be an idiot to expect that someone would love me. I must be an idiot to ruin the relationship between them. I must be an idiot to let things progress to that. I must be an idiot to betray her trust. I could have saved him. I could have saved them. But I got too selfish. The Virtuose are right from the start. I should have listened to them."

I walk towards Soiartze and hugs her. I don't fully understand what happened to her, but all I know is she's hurting right now. 

Soiartze hugs me back. "Ysa, do you know how much happy I was when I wake up one day, and I become one of the characters in a movie that my favorite actress starred in? I thought I could make my dream come true. I thought that if I finished the story as the best friend of the female lead, I could be an actress afterward. But I was wrong. I didn't realize that I got too attached to the male lead. I was supposed to match them together. I tried to. I tried to match them, but it's difficult. I thought I would die each day I saw them together."

Soiartze hugs me tighter. Aaline even joined the hug. "Ysa, it's difficult. It's hard to see the one you love loving someone else aside from you. I was there, and I couldn't do anything because I could not control my own body. I thought I could push through the end, but one day he walked to me and gave me hope. And that rekindle the hidden emotions I tried to bury deep inside me. I didn't realize I lost it. I got lost in the happiness he brought me. Every time there would be a time gap in the story, he would try to see me." 

Isn't that what's happening between Prince Fraser and I? He would try to see me and talk to me whenever there's a time gap in the story. 

"Ysavel, I am the one who is to blame. I was the one who knows what will happen between the male lead and the female lead, but I was also the one who ruined their relationship. But in the end, they are the ones who paid the price. I was the reason why they died. If I could just have stayed in character, they probably still living life happily. But it's too late now, they already died, and I am now stuck in this world. This is the price I need to pay because of my selfishness."

I gently pat Soiartze's back. "That's not true, Soiartze. It's not entirely your fault. Don't take all the blame. The male lead could be blame too. If he didn't have feelings for you, they wouldn't die." I tried to console Soiartze. She looks so down and heartbroken right now.

Soiartze shakes her head. "No, it's entirely my fault. I know the story between them. I know that they both meant for each other. I know that that's what is supposed to happen, but I become selfish. I thought someone could love me. I thought I could change the story and be with him. I didn't listen to the Virtuose because I thought we could make it through in the end. I thought love would prevail, and we will be together. But I was wrong. You are right, Ysa. Characters are meant for each other and not for us. I should have known my place." Soiartze looks at me with her teary eyes. "Ysa, please save yourself. Don't be like me. I don't even know how I can still live every day. Don't fall in love with a character."

Aaline shakes her head and looks at me. "I'm sorry, Ysa, but I think I need to bring Soiartze back. She doesn't look good." Aaline helps Soiartze to stand up, but Soiartze wouldn't stand. 

Soiartze looks at me and holds my hand. "Ysa, you need to promise me that you would never fell in love with any character. Promise me. You'll succeed with your task. I'm begging you, don't repeat the mistake I made. Don't lose everything just because of love. You cannot change anything, Ysa, and even if you can, it would just bring misfortune to all of you. Please, just don't let your emotions get into you."

Aaline looks helplessly at me. It looks like she is saying that I should just agree with what Soiartze is saying because that's the only way she would feel okay.

I sigh and smile gently at Soiartze. "I promise you. I won't fall in love with any character. I promise I would never fall in love with him. I promise that I would successfully finish my task and live my dream life. For now, you should rest, okay? Let's talk when you sober up." 

Soiartze nods her head in satisfaction, and she lets Aaline guide her out. Aaline looks at me with a sad smile. "Ysa, you need to stick with your words. Don't fall in love with anyone in the fictional world. Don't be like us. Don't be a fool and listen to what the Virtuose are saying. However, the Virtuose are only doing things for their own sake but they still know how to guide us, spirits of the real world. So, just listen to them."

I nod at Aaline. Aaline sigh and bid her goodbye to me while helping Soiartze, who is now sleeping. 

"Do you need help?" Aaline just shakes her head at me. Soiartze is way taller than Aaline, and that makes it difficult for Aaline to guide Soiartze out. 

"I can handle this. Maybe you could stay here first to think about what we just said. Don't be like us, Ysa." Aaline then walks out of the Paraiso.

I look up at the sky, and I could see the smiling face of Prince Fraser. I sigh and shake my head. "It's Csille's emotions Ysa. Don't confuse it as yours. You won't fall in love with a fourteen year old boy. Yeah, it's just Csille's emotion." I nod my head, trying to convince myself that what I said is true.

"I would never fall in love with you, Prince Fraser. No matter what happens, I cannot fall in love with you."