Why Did I Become the Villainess?

"Please, sit here. The Great Ruler will come in a minute. For now, let me serve you a cup of tea. What do you like for your tea Lady Lauretré," the maid asked.

I looked at her and smiled. "Hibiscus tea, please."

The maid smiles back at me and nods her head. She then goes back to somewhere she came from to brew my tea. I don't really want a tea right now. All I want is to talk to the Great Ruler and get through all of these.

I badly need a rest right now, but I still need to talk to the Great Ruler. I am still thinking about what to say to the Great Ruler when suddenly the door burst open, and the Great Ruler walks in the room. 

He looks around the room, and when he landed his gaze at me, he sighs. He walks hurriedly at me and stares at me head to toe. He sighs in relief again. "Lady Lauretré, you return." He tried to glance around for a seconds before he looks at me. I could see the disappointment in his eyes. 

I take a deep breath and kowtow in front of him. It's my fault why his only daughter was now trapped in Kosmo. I think even a hundred or a thousand kowtows from me isn't enough to appease his sorrow. 

"I'm sorry Great Ruler." I keep my head low. I don't know how to look at his disappointed eyes. How painful is it to lose your daughter? How painful it is to wait for your daughter's return that would never happen. It's all my fault. How can I ever atone for my mistake? "I couldn't find your daughter." The words seem too difficult to come outs of my mouth. It feels like something is obstructing my throat.

It's the guilt. It's my guilty conscience. He lost a child because of me. 

I was waiting for his sudden shout or throwing of things or, worst, raise a hand at me. However, after waiting for a couple of minutes, there's nothing happened. I looked up and saw the Great Ruler weeping silently. I gasp and bows down the head again.

It's my fault! It's your fault, Ysavel! If you just write about Sheena in the second version of the novel, then the Great Ruler could not have lost his only daughter. Why did I cut those scenes? 

After bowing my head for almost ten minutes, I heard movements from the Great Ruler. "Lady Lauretré, stand up. You don't need to do that. It's already been a great help to me when you agreed to go inside the alley even though you know you could never get out. You don't need to say sorry. I already expect the possible result of not seeing my daughter anymore," Ruler Laird said with a broken voice.

I look up at him and bite my lips. Forcing myself not to cry. However, no matter how much I tried, tears couldn't help but fell down on my face. I walk towards the Great Ruler and just stand there. I want to hug him to give comfort to him. However, I don't know if he will appreciate it or if I could do that. 

However, after contemplating for so long, I decided to take chances and sit beside him. I look at him. He seems like he didn't mind if I sit beside him. Will he mind if I hug him? I just want to comfort him. I think he badly needs a hug right now. I could just hug him in exchange for his daughter.

I close my eyes and hugs him. Upon contact, I feel him froze for a moment. I also froze. Does he not like it? Should I break off the hug? Damm, why do I always made wrong choices?

However, before I could even break off from the hug, the Great Ruler returns my hug. He hugs me tightly while crying his heart out. 

"Close your eyes and think that you are hugging your daughter right now," I whispered to him, which made him cry harder. He hugs me more tightly and keeps muttering something.

"I'm sorry, Sheena. I'm really sorry," he keeps apologizing to me. "I'm sorry if I couldn't be the father you want to have. I'm sorry if I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry if I couldn't save you. I tried. I tried to get in there many times, but I couldn't get where you are. I'm not a good father." He sobs.

I gently tap his back, trying to comfort him. "Father, you're the father I always want and will always be. Stop saying you couldn't protect me because all my life, all you've done is to protect me. Father, stop hurting yourself. You're not the reason why I am here. I want you to be happy. I want you to do the things you are doing before. So, when we meet again, you could tell me about your adventures. Just like you always do." I said. Trying to copy the sound of Sheena's voice based on what I remember in the video that Teague showed me. 

I hope with this, he would feel better. His cry becomes louder, and he hugs me tighter again. I want to complain that I'm already hurting, but I realized that I am the reason for his pain. I wouldn't mind this little pain if this helped him lessen the pain he is feeling.

My heart is hurting right now because of his sobs. I am the reason why a father loses his daughter. I now understand why did I become the villainess. Maybe I am really the bad guy. 

After half an hour of hugging, the Great Ruler breaks from our hug and wipes his tears. "Lady Lauretré, thank you. Thank you for making me feel better. You don't need to worry. As I promise, I wouldn't harm any Vrawyth people or your whole kingdom. I also made arrangements, and the Grand Exemplary Competition was moved to next month. You don't need to worry. You would get in the Saiven Kingdom in time." 

I look up at him and nods my head. "Thank you very much, Great Ruler." 

"However, I have one request Lady Lauretré." 

I look at him nervously. What will he request? Is it my retribution for taking away his daughter? 

"Is it okay if I ask you to be my goddaughter? All you did today, help me to forgive myself and stop blaming myself. You're right. My daughter will definitely say those words to me too if she is still here."

I feel a warm feeling coming inside of me. I look at Great Ruler and nod my head at him rigorously. If it's my payment for taking away his daughter, then I will gladly do it. Also, Great Ruler doesn't look like a bad guy. I hope not.

The Great Ruler smiles widely at me. It's the first time I saw him smile ever since I met him. This smile is different, it's not force, or it's not an empty smile. It's a genuine smile. A genuine happiness.

I'm glad. I'm glad I made him happy. I look up at the sky and sigh. 

Sheena, I know you don't remember your father now. But I know deep inside you, you still miss him. You still long for him. So, don't worry. I will take care of him on your behalf. I will make him happy. I'm sorry if this is the only thing I could do. I wish I have met you in Kosmo, but it's probably the best for you. Be happy in there. 

________________________________

I just stepped my foot outside the residence of the Great Ruler when Rufus and Leander immediately rush to me. I look at their panic stricken faces. 

Rufus holds me on my shoulders and tries to shake the hell out of me. "Csille! What happened? Why did you take so long to talk to the Great Ruler? Did he do something to you? Just tell me. I would tell it to the Crown Prince. No! No! I would send a letter now to the Count. I sh-"

I break from Rufus' hold and put my hand on both of his cheeks. His words were cut off, but he still tries to blabber. I roll my eyes at him. Rufus, I didn't know he is a blabberhead.

I glare at Leander, who is about to talk too. Aren't these two guys are too talkative for a guy? I sigh and look at the both of them. "Can you two calm down? Really? You got the nerve to talk about your ridiculous assumptions about the Great Ruler in front of his residence? Do you want all of us to die in here?" 

The two blabber heads immediately stop babbling and look at the guards who are guarding the front door. 

Rufus cough and fake his laugh. "What are you talking about?" He fakes his laugh again. "We're just joking, right, Leander?"

Leander looks at Rufus and makes a face at him before he looks at me. "It's better to talk inside the inn we are staying in. I'm sure Prince Fraser would love to meet you."

My eyes immediately widen. Oh, sheez. Why do I always forget about Prince Fraser? I just finished my problem with Great Ruler, but I haven't finished my biggest problem, Prince Fraser, who is my human problem. How would I face him?

Can I just run away from him? I sigh. Argh. Why didn't I reincarnated as Rufus? At least I don't have to worry about Prince Fraser, and it would be impossible for me to have feelings for the female characters. 

But what if I fell in love with Prince Fraser too? 

I shivered with my thoughts. I don't want to imagine. That's incest. Although I love bl but not this one. 

"Csille?" 

I look at the two guys who are currently gaping at me. I rolled my eyes at them and started to walk outside the residence of the Great Ruler.

"We should head straight to the inn. I'm pretty sure Prince Fraser would wake up anytime now. We need to inform him about your return Csille. I'm pretty sure he'll be happy to know that." Leander suddenly said while they are following behind my back.

I stop walking and look back at him. Can this Leander guy, stop talking about Prince Fraser. To hell his happiness. Why don't you see I'm not happy to see him? Is his happiness more important than my happiness, huh?

I take a deep breath to calm my irritated self. "I thought you want to know what happened with the conversation I had with the Great Ruler?"

The two of them both nod their heads like those cute nodding dogs car ornaments. A small laugh comes out of my mouth, which I also immediately shake off my face. 

I look at them and nod. "If you want to know, then follow me. Let's go somewhere private."

I walk towards the busy street of Illorian City and pass through the stalls that are just opening their business. Business in Illorian City starts at night.

We book a private room in a not so crowded restaurant. I haven't even seated in my seat when Rufus started to ask me questions one after another. I let him talk and talk until he realizes that I still haven't answer any of his questions. Leander just sits on the side and enjoys his cup of tea.

Rufus looks at me and frowns. I clasp my hands and put them on the table with a bang. "Are you done? How can I explain if you keep bombarding me with too many questions?"

Rufus shuts up immediately and just waits for me to talk. I sigh and look at them. "I'll be quick because I am tired, and I want to rest. You two want to know what happened with my conversation with the Great Ruler? It went well. You don't have to worry about anything. The Great Ruler reassured me that he isn't angry and would not take out his anger, which he doesn't really want, to the Vrawyth Kingdom. He also mentioned that the Grand Exemplary Competition was moved and we definitely have time to travel. Did I answer all your questions?"

Rufus shakes his head. "Are you sure he wouldn't wage war to our Kingdom?"

I nod my head at him. "I am one hundred percent sure. He also mentioned it before, right? The Vrawyth and the Illorian have been in friendly ties with each other. Also, I am not the reason why his daughter disappeared. I am just barely helping him. He told me he is thankful because I agree to enter that alley again. Do you think he would do something bad to someone he owed?" The two of them shake their heads. "So, stop worrying and let me rest. Will you?"

I was about to stand up from my seat when Leander catches my hand. "Did he do something to you, Csille?"

I shake my head at them. "He didn't do anything. Great Ruler isn't that kind of guy. So, can you please put your guards down? We're safe in here. I assure you."

The two look at each other before reluctantly nod their heads. I sigh in relief. I thought I would need to have a more than an hour pep talk with them. 

After saying a few words, I immediately get out of the room. It's better to be safe than sorry. I wouldn't want Prince Fraser to know that I already return. However, Leander stopped me again. "What about Prince Fraser? Are you going to him now?"

Prince Fraser, my face! I want to rest! I want to run away from him. Why would I offer myself to the tiger? Do I look like I'm suicidal?

I look back at him. "I'm tired. I'll talk to him after I have some sleep," after saying those words, I immediately walk out of the restaurant.

Run Ysavel! Run for your life!